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Gered pushed through the rec room, ignoring the press of riders still lounging around. Laramie commandeered Dayo’s attention, leaving him free to retreat to the room for a moment of peace.
He sank onto the bed, and leaned forward on his knees, hands clasped behind his head. It hadn’t been bad. Until Rosche pulled the knife. Squeezing his eyes shut, he breathed in and out.
“I’m afraid of what that means.”
He lifted his head to see Gioia leaning against the door, hands in her pockets.
Tomorrow. I have to tell her.
Gered pulled his hands away to press against his mouth. He nodded at the door. She raised an eyebrow, but reached out and swung the door closed.
He didn’t speak, a tumult raging inside—fear and dangerous hope competing for dominance. Tomorrow.
Concern shadowed her face.
“What’s going on, Gered?” She shoved away from the wall, taking a step forward.
He tore his gaze away from her figure, ducking his chin to drag a hand through his dark hair. He shook his head. He barely remembered what he looked like without the dye. Tomorrow.
“You planning on running?” she asked.
He jerked his head up to meet her stare.
She shook her head with a scoff. “It’s not that hard to figure you out. You going with her?” A bit of pain lingered over the last word.
“It’s not like that, Gioia, and you know it.”
“Sure.” She shoved her hands into her back pockets and retreated a step. “Because what’s not to like about her? She’s pretty, smart, skilled. And me? I was Rosche’s whore.”
He pushed to his feet. “That’s not it.”
She waited for him to continue, her shoulders squared defensively.
“It’s...she believes she can make it. I don’t know...maybe she’s got me thinking the same thing.”
“Why?”
“I can’t stay here!” He slammed a hand against the wall. She didn’t flinch. “I can’t. Not anymore. Rosche wants her to build something. We’re going on a supply run tomorrow.” And hopefully not coming back. “Come with us. We...you and me...maybe we can figure out a life out there.” He almost hated the pleading in his voice.
She softened, but shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Why?” He desperately wanted to take her into his arms, show her how much he wanted—needed—her.
She tilted her chin up. “I don’t have a death wish.”
He half scoffed and stepped away.
“It’s suicide, Gered. You know that. You’ve tried before.” She leaned close, eyes begging him to remember. “You think he won’t send someone out when you don’t come back? And when he catches you, there won’t be any more chances for you. I don’t want to watch that.”
“Maybe this time I’ll make it.” He tried to hold on to the vanishing hope.
She ducked her head, scuffing the stone floor with her boot. “Maybe.”
“Don’t tell me you want to stay here.” He tried one last time.
“Dust no. It’s no life, but at least I’m alive.” She raised her head. “And if I go with you? Maybe we’d make it to the border. Maybe not. And once they catch us, and Rosche and whoever else wants to is done with me, maybe they’ll bury us in the same grave. That’s the only way we’ll be together, and you know it.”
“Gioia.”
“Don’t.” She shook her head, and he caught glimpses of tears in her eyes. The sight tore at him worse than any knife ever had. She sniffed and glanced back up. “At least you don’t have to worry about me anymore. No one’s tried to jump me in an alley in years.”
“That’s not funny.”
She squared her shoulders. “I know. I just mean you made me take care of myself. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. Would I like to see if there’s a life out there for us? Yeah. More than anything. But there’s not. There’s only this. And I guess I’m just too selfish to risk it on a suicide mission.”
They regarded each other in silence for a long moment.
“Will you make the report?”
“Of course not. Do you even know me, Gered?” She mustered a slight smile. “And I hope you make it. I really do. Just think of me once in a while after you and Laramie start a new life together.”
“Maybe I’ll come back for you,” he said impulsively.
She sniffed again. “That’s nice. Romantic.”
He reached out and brushed her hand. She closed her fingers around his in a tight grip. He squeezed. She didn’t squeeze back.
“Goodbye, Gered.” She pulled away and pushed out the door.
He stared after her, feeling another crack in his already splintered foundation widening. She wouldn’t come. He’d known deep down she wouldn’t. Rosche’s hold was still too strong. But it still stung.
He needed to do something. He pulled his rifle case from under the bed and removed the cleaning kit. Taking his pistols apart, he started on them first, forcing his hands to slow over the familiar movements.
“We leave for a few days and something big goes down.” Dayo sauntered back in the room, kicking the door shut and flopping down on the bed. “Spill.”
Gered replied with everything Laramie had given him. Dayo sat up, eyebrows inching higher with every part.
“And you didn’t tell me about this thing?” he asked.
Gered reassembled one of the guns. “Didn’t seem important.”
“Right.” Dayo drew out the word.
Tomorrow.
He swallowed hard. “Rosche is sending Laramie and me on a supply run tomorrow. We’ll be gone all day.”
“And?” Dayo leaned forward, suspicion lacing his voice.
Gered looked up. “And this is something I don’t really want Rosche getting his hands on.”
Dayo leaned back. “You’re gonna help her run?” he whispered.
Gered jerked a nod, fingers fumbling with the second gun.
“You are gonna come back, right?” Hardness crept into Dayo’s question. “Gered...” He tilted his head in warning.
He won’t come. Dayo knew what happened to runaways the same as anyone. He’d been the one to patch Gered up after his last attempt.
Gered forced a smile. “Yeah. How stupid do you think I am?”
“I’m beginning to wonder.” Dayo frowned, but relief softened the hard lines around his eyes.
Gered replaced the cleaning kit in the case. Anything he had, anything he wanted to take with him, was already packed in his saddlebag. He just wouldn’t unpack tonight.
“We’ll hit the road early. If anything happens while we’re gone, you’re in charge.”
Dayo groaned. “I hate it when you leave me in charge. It stresses me out.”
A quick smile broke from Gered before he could stop it. “You’ll survive.”
Dayo sobered just as quick. “I hope she makes it, but she would have been decent to have around. She told me she fought Zelig off, and stabbed him in the leg for his troubles. I told her she should have aimed higher and a little more central.”
“Yeah, but there’s been a load of trouble since she came in.” Trouble that had burrowed its way under his skin and found some way to settle a foot more firmly on the ground for the first time in years.
Dayo snorted. “True. It might be nice to go back to the same boring routine.”
Gered set his pistols on the bed and tossed his jacket aside. One more day of wearing it.
“I’ll try not to wake you in the morning.”
Dayo saluted and said nothing more, letting him wash and turn into bed in peace. He faced the wall. He’d make the call to Moshe once they were out on the road. Then they’d ride like hell.
