Christy stood with her brother at the graveside of their sister. Candy’s funeral had been a quiet affair with so few people to mourn her passing that Christy felt even sadder. How could a child of nineteen pass through life and leave so little behind?
Neither her mother nor father had taken the time to come back to the United States for the service. Even Grant hadn’t bothered to show up, not that Christy really expected him to. He’d given no recognition of the baby’s existence, nor of Candy’s passing. Why would it surprise anyone that he hadn’t bothered to pay his final respects to a woman he had never respected in the first place?
“Psalm 116 says, ‘I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy,’ “the minister stated, but Christy barely heard the words. Her mind was turned back to that moment with Curt when she’d accepted the Lord as her own Savior.
“‘Be at rest once more, O my soul,’” the minister recited, “‘for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling….’”
Christy thought of Curt’s verse in Isaiah. What was it? Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall…. Christy remembered the words and felt as though a warm arm had come to wrap itself around her.
The minister’s compelling voice continued the eulogy, “‘I believed; therefore I said, “I am greatly afflicted.” And in my dismay I said, “All men are liars.” ‘”
Christy felt the breath go out from her as though someone had punched her in the stomach. Those could be my own words, she thought. Hadn’t she felt men unworthy of her trust because they always lied? Wasn’t it the reason she felt Curt had betrayed her? She had to struggle to pick up the rest of the psalm.
“‘Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. O Lord, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant; you have freed me from my chains.’” The minister paused, and Christy waited in a strange sense of anxiety for what he would say. “This young child, Camille Burks, better known to her loved ones as Candy, is now free of her chains. Her brother explained that before she died, Candy found the truth of God’s love for her and felt peace in her departure from the life she knew on earth.”
Tears came to Christy’s eyes. She knew her desires to keep Candy on earth had been selfish, but the loss was so great and her pain so complete.
“Erik, Christy,” the minister was saying, and Christy snapped her head up to meet the face of the aging man. She barely heard the words of comfort he offered, however. Curt stood not twenty feet beyond, and Debbie was at his side.
Her eyes locked with Curt’s, and Christy knew that she loved him as much as she feared that she couldn’t trust him. It was all she could do to remain planted beside Erik and not run to Curt for comfort. But she refused to be made a fool of. She couldn’t let Curt know how much she needed him. She couldn’t be vulnerable and feel the pain of betrayal again.
The short service concluded, and before Christy could say a word to Erik, he left her side and went to where Curt and Debbie stood. So much for his support, Christy thought. Instead of waiting for Erik to return, Christy decided to walk back to the car.
“Curt, it was good of you to come,” Erik said and extended his hand.
“I thought Christy might need me, even if she doesn’t think so,” Curt replied. “By the way, this is Debbie. She’s a good friend of mine, and we work together.”
Erik smiled with genuine warmth at the exotic-looking woman. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Debbie, would you mind waiting at the car? I need to speak with Erik alone.”
“Sure,” Debbie replied and walked off, leaving the two men to talk.
Curt shifted uncomfortably for a moment, then made his mind known to Erik. “I wonder if I could ask you a favor?”
“What is it?”
“I’d like for you to take Debbie home, so that I can drive Christy home. We have to talk, but I’m not sure she’ll do it unless forced to.”
“And you expect me to force my sister to do something against her will? You’ve been a steady support, but, good grief, man, I don’t know you at all,” Erik stated honestly.
“I know,” Curt replied. “I don’t blame you for your apprehension, and sometime, when I can, I’ll explain in more detail. The bottom line is that I love your sister, and I want to marry her. Right now she’s hurting from all of this,” Curt said, waving his hand to where Candy’s coffin rested. “And she feels that I’ve wronged her, and in some ways, I guess I have. But, Erik, you have to understand that I want only the best for Christy. I want to love her for all time, and I want to help her raise Sarah.”
“Sometimes,” Erik said softly, “she can be very stubborn. She often misses what’s best for her. Maybe you’re exactly what she needs.”
Christy, still lost in thought, glanced up to see Erik assist- ing Debbie into his vehicle. What was he doing?
“Christy.” Curt’s voice sounded from right behind her.
She whirled around to protest that her brother was deserting her, but quickly realized it was exactly what Curt had planned. How could Erik do this to her? How could he leave her?
Christy glanced back at Erik as he prepared to drive away, then to Curt as if awaiting his explanation.
“I asked him to take Debbie home so that you’d have to accept a ride from me. Christy, I want so much for you to talk to me. I want…” He couldn’t continue. “Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered, coming to stand only inches from Christy.
“Look at you like what?” she asked in surprise.
“Like you expect me to hurt you. I’ve told you the truth—all of it. I even received a severe reprimand from my superiors.”
“You did?” Christy’s voice seemed to soften for a moment, then she quickly put her walls back in place. “Maybe you could just manipulate them like you did my brother.” She started to stalk off, but Curt put his hand out and took hold of her arm.
“Erik realizes that my intentions toward you are honorable. I’ve honestly never felt this way about anyone else, Christy, and I never will. Like it or not, I’m 100 percent yours.”
Christy fought between emotions of pure joy and stubborn denial. Curt always made her feel protected and cared for, but she quickly reasoned that feelings weren’t enough.
“I’ve heard a lot of words in my life,” Christy finally said. “I have a hard time putting trust in words.”
“Then seek your answer in prayer. Trust God, if you can’t trust me. I know you love me, Christy. I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it in your voice. When you looked up from Candy’s grave and saw me, what did you feel? What did you think?”
Christy opened her mouth to say something completely untrue, but Curt put his finger to her lips. “Remember how much you hate lies.”
Christy blushed, hating the fact that Curt knew her so well. “All right,” she said and twisted away from his hold, “you can drive me to the hospital. I’m going to visit Sarah.”
“First, answer my question. Tell me what you thought. Better yet, tell me what you wanted to do.”
“You think you know me so well,” Christy said sarcastically; “you tell me.”
“I believe I will.” By this time, Christy and Curt were the only ones left in the cemetery. “You wanted to come to me,” Curt stated simply. “No. You needed to come to me. You needed me to hold you and tell you that it would be all right. We’re two halves of a whole, Christy.”
Christy stared at him with more surprise than she’d intended to let him see. Two halves of a whole? Could it really be that way between them?
“I love you, Christy,” Curt said, taking her hands in his. “Marry me. Marry me and let me prove to you, day-by-day, just how faithful and true my love is.”
Christy shook her head. “I can’t.” She saw the pain in his eyes and added, “At least not yet. Give me some time.”
Several moments of silence filled the air around them. “All right,” Curt said with great exasperation, “but I need to talk to you about the case. That I can’t wait on. Has Grant contacted you about the money yet?”
Christy shook her head. “No, I haven’t heard from him.”
“Good. When he calls you or comes to see you, you have to let me know. We figure we can pin him down when you give him the money.”
“I won’t do anything that puts Sarah’s life in jeopardy,” Christy stated firmly.
“I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“If Grant believes he’s being set up, he might try to hurt her, and I can’t have that.”
“I understand, Christy; just don’t let the exchange take place without me.” His voice was pleading.
“I’ll do what I can,” Christy replied thoughtfully. “But I won’t let anyone put Sarah in the middle of this. No amount of money or retaliation is worth the life of that child.”
“Just let me know,” Curt said and gently took hold of her once again. “Come on. I’ll take you to see her. I want to get to know her, too, you know.”
Christy looked up at him and thought to herself that he would make a good father. If only she could work through her anxieties and trust him. If only there weren’t so many lies already between them.
The floor of the hospital devoted to nurseries and new mothers was a far cry from the sterility of the intensive care ward. Pink and blue trimmed the halls, and photographs of babies very nearly wallpapered the lobby.
Making their way to the intensive care nursery, Christy felt very maternal. Sarah was completely dependent upon her for the future. The baby girl would one day call her Mommy, and the responsibilities were overwhelming. Almost against her will, Christy lifted her face to meet Curt’s eyes.
“It’ll be all right, sweetheart,” he said softly, and Christy nodded as if that was all she needed to hear.
When they approached the intensive care nursery, Christy learned that Sarah was thriving beyond the anticipations of the doctors. Christy and Curt were given gowns to cover their street clothes, then taken to a private room in the back of the unit. The nurse soon reappeared with the isolette containing Sarah, and Christy found that she had to sit down in order to keep her knees from shaking too hard.
“Isn’t she a dolly?” the nurse said with a joyful smile. “And she’s our best patient. She’s gaining weight consistently. She’s up from four pounds, three ounces, to four-six. She’s doing so well, in fact, that you can hold her for the first time out of the incubator. The doctor said that her lungs are in excellent shape, and if she continues to grow at this rate, he’ll probably release her in a week.”
“That soon?” Christy’s voice was a squeaky whisper.
“Yes,” the nurse replied and began opening the incubator. “Now, who wants to hold her first? You, Dad?”
Christy looked up at Curt, who was staring questioningly down at her. It all seemed so right. When she nodded, Curt eagerly held out his hands for the tiny girl.
“Have a seat, Dad,” the nurse instructed. “Now Sarah can only be out of the incubator for five minutes, so you two share her. I’ll go get a bottle and let you feed her while you’re here. That always helps to bond adoptive parents with the new-borns.” The nurse waited until Curt was seated beside Christy before placing the well-wrapped baby in his arms.
Neither Curt nor Christy paid any attention to the nurse as she left the room. Their eyes were fixed on the dark-headed, ruddy infant who stared back at them with dark blue eyes.
“Oh, my,” Christy whispered and felt her heart skip a beat. “She’s so beautiful.”
“Just like her first mom and her new mom,” Curt replied. “You ready to hold her, Mommy?”
Christy swallowed hard. “I guess so.” Curt moved the tiny baby ever so gently into Christy’s arms, then lingered with his arm around Christy’s shoulder. “I never realized just what I was doing in agreeing to take her on. Oh, Curt,” she whispered in despair, “I don’t know anything about this. I don’t have the slightest idea of how to care for a baby.”
Curt smiled lovingly and ran a finger along Christy’s cheek. “We’ll learn together, just as though we awaited her for nine months. We’ll buy the books and read up. We’ll ask ques- tions, and since we don’t have to worry about money, I’d suggest a good nanny might be in order for at least the early months.” Christy nodded with a rather blank stare on her face.
“Here we are,” the nurse said, handing Christy a red-nip-pled bottle. “Sucking is hard for her still, but she gives it all she’s worth. Sarah is a fighter, for sure.”
Christy smiled. “So was her mother.”
“So are you,” Curt added.