The dining hall was one noisy place for a Saturday afternoon. Everyone seemed to want to talk at once, while they drank tea and ate peanut butter cookies.
“Ladies, ladies,” said Sister Marie as she gently tapped a glass with her spoon to get their attention. “First of all ladies, let me just say that I appreciate your coming here to share with each other this afternoon. Let’s take our seats so we can get started. What we want to do is to just talk about our strengths and maybe we can help each other. Now just because I’m the pastor’s wife, is no reason for you to think I can’t relate to your problems. We’re here to help each other and hopefully get answers from the Lord. After all, that’s the purpose of the women’s council group. Let’s see, last week we talked about women supporting women,” she said while looking over an agenda. “Today the subject is marriage. Let’s start with the person married the least amount of time.”
“Well, I guess that’s me,” said Sister Pearl; a smartly dressed business woman of twenty four.
“Tell everyone how long you’ve been married,” said Sister Marie.
“Well, come next week,” said Sister Pearl, “I’ll have been married three hundred and sixty five thousand years.” Laughter roared through the room. Everyone was broken up by the sudden humor of the newlywed who was approaching her first wedding anniversary.
“Sister Pearl, would you like to explain yourself?” asked Sister Marie looking puzzled.
“Sure,” she answered as if she didn’t know what the problem was. “The Bible says one day is as a thousand years and a thousand years is as one day. Next week completes my day of marriage,” she said. “I didn’t misquote the Bible, did I?” she asked, trying to keep a straight face. Everyone thought it was hilarious. Everyone except Sister Marie.
“We’ll have to come back to you,” said Sister Marie in a very serious tone. “Sister Marcie, you’re a seasoned woman. What kind of advice can you offer these ladies?”
“Never go to bed angry ladies,” said Sister Marcie.
“Now that’s some sound advice,” said Sister Marie, nodding her head approvingly.
“Find a way to cope with your anger. Re-channel it,” continued Sister Marcie.
“What do you mean by that?” asked Sister Val who was normally too shy to ask questions.
“Well, I keep a list, a mental list that is, of who or what my husband reminds me of when I’m angry with him,” said Sister Marcie. “For example, movie titles. When I’m angry, I add to the list. So far, these are the movies that remind me of him: The Jerk, All Dogs Go to Heaven, The World, the Flesh and the Devil, Rosemary’s Baby, Lady & the Tramp, Sleeping With the Enemy, Beauty and the...”
“Sister MARCIE!” yelled Sister Marie, just in time to cut off the list. The whole room was again broken up with laughter. Sister Megan actually bit her tongue trying to eat a cookie and laugh at the same time.
“Ladies - what’s going on here?” asked Sister Marie as she got up quickly. “This doesn’t sound like a group of ladies where Christ is the center of the home. It’s one more example of how the enemy has invaded the church.” The mood in the room went from light-hearted to somber in a matter of seconds. “But let me tell you this, it’s not the will of God for you to be husband-bashers or abused women. And I’m not talking about physical abuse,” she said as she began to walk around the room. “Ladies, I feel your pain,” she said softly as the mood in the room caused many of the ladies to hold their heads down. She hugged Sister Marcie and said, “I know sometimes we hide behind laughter and smiles because we don’t want people to see our hurt or our shame. We didn’t call this meeting to embarrass anyone. I hand-picked you ladies today. I know you didn’t know that. You thought all the ladies received invitations. Well, the Lord placed each of you on my heart and only you ladies know why.”
Sister Pearl looked up at the First Lady. She now saw her in a different light. She saw Sister Marie Taylor as a lady of compassion.
“Can I say something Sister Marie?” asked Sister Pearl. “Sure honey,” said Sister Marie; “but no more jokes.”
“Well, that’s just it,” said Sister Pearl. “I know most of you know my husband, and you see a really great side of him. And, and I mean most of the time, he’s really a nice guy,” she stammered. “But, three days before our wedding, he called and said he needed to see me about an important issue that he couldn’t discuss on the phone. Well when I met him that evening, he brought pre-nuptial papers with him. For some women, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. For me it was devastating. I realized I was marrying someone who didn’t completely trust me. I didn’t know what to do. It seems his attorney buddies back at his office, advised him that this was a necessary step for his financial peace of mind.”
“But he has never been married before, and he doesn’t have children, does he?” asked Sister Val.
“No, it was our first marriage and neither of us had children,” she said wiping a tear. “Well, the wedding was three days away. I gave him my best argument, but he said if I loved him I could see that this wasn’t a big deal. I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place. I didn’t want the embarrassment of canceling a wedding over something of this nature, so I signed it. It really hasn’t been a big deal. Yet every time we have an argument, no matter how small, in the back of my mind, I always remember that pre-nuptial agreement and wonder how long before he will threaten me with it. I feel he has a bargaining chip to get things his way. And what do I have? I have nothing,” she said in a pitiful manner.
Sister Marie moved toward Sister Pearl and gave her a big hug.
“I’d like to say something too,” said Sister Marcie, in a rather low voice. “I was told that the honeymoon would last for at least a year, but we found ourselves fighting after three weeks.” We would argue over anything. Finally I would just let him have his way. So far, our marriage has lasted six years. The funny thing about it is that I think he’s happy. After all, he gets his way in just about everything. All the reasons, that I got married seemed to go down the proverbial toilet. I wanted someone who would stand up for me and be a true companion, yet my husband craves all the attention. Perhaps, it’s because he is an only child. I just don’t know anymore.” Tears rolled down her eyes.
“Ladies, I’ve even found myself praying to God that one day I would wake up and find out that I had been in a coma for the last few years. I just wanted to start over and wipe the slate clean. But I know that I can’t go backward, so I hide, many times behind humor,” she said looking over the room at her good friend Val.
“Well, since confession is good for the soul,” said Sister Val, “I might as well confess that my marriage wasn’t made in heaven either. We seemed to start off ok, but then I noticed that many of our friends seemed to know things that were going on in our house. I don’t mean what we had for dinner, but they’d know about our arguments, they’d know when and where we made up. They’d know what we discussed in bed. It got to a point that nothing was sacred. He seemed to always deny telling his friends things about us. But I don’t talk to anyone about private matters. If I’m not important enough to be sacred in his life, what is?” she said to the group.
“You’re right Sister Val,” said Sister Marie. “We’ve believed every Cinderella story we’ve seen, then when something happens to us, we go into shock. It’s hard to admit we’ve made a mistake in marrying the wrong person,” she said.
“I didn’t really plan to speak up,” said Faye Edwards, probably the most attractive woman of her age group among them. “Please don’t fall into the trap, where I fell. I had a decent husband, he wasn’t perfect, but who is? He was a hard worker and a good father, but somehow we drifted apart. Nothing I did was good enough anymore. I’m not sure how I became that way, but I gradually was someone that he hated and I didn’t care anymore. He opted out. Now we’re both two lonely people. I keep telling myself that I’m better off, but am I? I feel it was my fault because I didn’t seek God during the trouble. Instead, I read magazines and listened to talk shows. One thing I am sure of, I’m going on with my life.”
“Yes,” agreed Sister Marie. “We are all going on in Jesus’ name. I feel the spirit of Disappointment in the room. Can we pray, right now and cast this demon out?”
The women all seemed to agree as they gathered close together.
“Ladies, let’s join hands,” said Sister Marie. The entire group began to pray.