Mrs Merry was the first person Flora set eyes on when she entered the house and the kindly housekeeper saw at a glance that something was wrong.
‘Come along to my room, dear,’ she said, taking Flora’s elbow. ‘I’ll make you a nice hot cup of tea and you can tell me what’s bothering you.’
Flora went without argument and sat in Mrs Merry’s comfy fireside chair as the woman bustled about preparing the teacups and warming the teapot.
‘So, were your parents not keen on the idea of you travelling so far?’ she asked eventually when they both sat with steaming cups of tea in front of them.
‘It wasn’t so much my parents as Jamie.’ Flora looked thoroughly miserable.
‘Is that your young man?’ Mrs Merry asked gently.
Flora nodded, her eyes still bright with unshed tears. ‘Yes, we have been walking out together for some time but I never dreamed he’d take the idea so badly.’
‘Hmm, you’re in a bit of a dilemma then.’ Mrs Merry sipped at her tea delicately. ‘All I can advise is you must do what you want to do, not what someone else wants you to do. I must admit I would be far happier if I knew that you were accompanying Miss Constance. It’s a very long way for her to travel alone, but as I said, it’s up to you.’
Flora nodded in agreement and after draining her cup and thanking Mrs Merry she made her way up to her room. Even though it was still her afternoon off and her time was hers to do with as she pleased, she decided that she needed to speak to Connie. So after taking off her bonnet and her coat she made her way to her young mistress’s room and tapped on the door.
She found Connie sitting on the window seat reading a short book of Shakespeare’s sonnets.
‘I thought you would still be at your parents’ or walking with Jamie,’ she remarked, looking mildly surprised to see her. ‘Has something happened? Have your parents refused to give their permission for you to come with me?’
‘Oh no, they haven’t,’ Flora assured her hastily. ‘I don’t think they’re thrilled with the idea but they won’t stop me. It’s Jamie that’s the problem. He took it quite badly when I told him that I had the chance to go.’
‘I see.’ Connie looked crestfallen. ‘So, have you reached a decision?’
Flora shook her head. ‘Not yet,’ she admitted. ‘I feel as if I’m being pulled in two different directions. I want to come with you, of course I do, but then as you know I’m also very fond of Jamie and he’s made it more than obvious that he’s not prepared to wait for me.’
Throwing her book aside, Connie hurried across to Flora in a swirl of silken skirts. ‘But, Flora, I need you to come with me,’ she said, her lip trembling. ‘I’m closer to you than anyone else on earth now that Daddy is gone. You know everything about me and leaving here won’t be half so bad if I know that you are coming too. Oh, please think about it, Flora! Surely if Jamie truly loved you he would be prepared to wait. Three years isn’t such an awful long time after all, is it?’
‘I suppose not,’ Flora said uncertainly. She was so confused, she didn’t know if she was coming or going at that moment. She loved Connie and Jamie in different ways and whatever she decided one of them was going to be hurt. ‘I think I ought to sleep on it, so if there’s nothing you need, I think I’ll go to my room and get some rest.’
‘Yes, why don’t you do that,’ Connie said quickly. She would have done anything to get her way, she usually did, as her father had spoiled her shamelessly, even more so after the death of her mother. And so Flora trudged heavy-hearted back to her room where she lay on her bed as the afternoon shadows lengthened, trying to decide which direction she should take. It was funny, she thought, she’d known she was falling in love with Jamie before. But now there was a chance she might lose him, she realised how strong that love actually was. Could she really risk giving that up?
Downstairs, Mrs Merry was restlessly pacing up and down her sitting room like a caged animal. She had been like a surrogate mother to Constance since long before her adoptive mother had died, for Alicia Ogilvie had never had much time for the child and had been only too happy to leave the little girl in the care of a nanny and the housekeeper. Now the kindly woman looked upon the young girl as her own child, for she had never been blessed with children.
Mr Ogilvie’s death had come as a great shock to her but that was nothing compared to the shock she had felt when she’d learned that Constance was to be sent away to live with her aunt. Her only consolation was that Constance had assured her she would return as soon as she possibly could, which would hopefully be in a little under three years. Thankfully she was being allowed to stay in the house to wait for her return, but now how could she ensure that Flora went with her? Constance had led a very sheltered life and Mrs Merry feared what might happen to her if she had to travel alone.
The answer to her concerns presented itself to her the very next morning when a tap came at the door. The young maid was busily cleaning so it was Mrs Merry who answered it to find a very respectable looking young man standing on the doorstep.
He hastily swept his hat off as he said politely, ‘I’m so sorry to trouble you and I know that Flora will be working but would it be possible to speak to her … just for a moment? I won’t keep her, I assure you.’
‘May I ask who is calling?’
‘Of course. I’m James Branning, a er … friend of Flora’s.’
So this is Jamie, she thought as she stared steadily back at him. She could see now why the decision Flora was being forced to make was so difficult. Even so, Constance was still her main priority so she answered, ‘I’m afraid Flora and her mistress have gone out for a short walk. Flora thought the fresh air might do her mistress good.’ She felt sick with guilt but she didn’t know what else to do.
‘Oh … I see.’ His shoulders visibly sagged with disappointment.
Softening slightly, she asked, ‘Could I perhaps take a message for her?’
‘Yes.’ He looked a little uncomfortable and shuffled from foot to foot before saying, ‘Could you tell her that I have received word that my father has suffered a slight stroke and I have to return home to Nuneaton for a time. I shall write and let her know what’s going on but yesterday we er … well we parted on bad terms and I wanted to tell her that I was sorry and that I didn’t mean what I said.’ His cheeks were flaming with colour now.
‘I shall tell her,’ Mrs Merry answered as she began to close the door on him. ‘And I do hope that your father makes a full recovery.’
The door clicked shut just as Flora appeared from the drawing room to ask, ‘Who was that, Mrs Merry?’
‘Oh, just some pedlar trying to sell rubbish,’ the older woman answered, then turning about she headed for the kitchen feeling sick to her stomach.
Flora swallowed her disappointment as she glanced at the door. She had secretly hoped that it might be Jamie calling to tell her that he would wait for her. But then, she consoled herself, there was still time, and if he didn’t come she would tell him on Sunday just how much he meant to her. Feeling slightly heartened at the thought she went back to join Connie in the drawing room.
The following Sunday when Flora set off for her mother’s she was in high spirits. She had reached her decision but before she told Constance she decided she would tell her parents and Jamie first.
‘So you’re not going, then. Well, I can’t say as I’m sorry,’ her mother told her as she placed a freshly baked scone on the table in front of her. ‘I was worried sick about you going all that way. But what changed your mind? I had a feeling you were intending to go last week.’
‘I was,’ Flora admitted. ‘But then I got to thinking and realised how much I’d miss you all … and Jamie.’
‘Ah, I see.’ Emily chuckled. ‘Got under your skin, has he? Then I reckon it’s time you brought him home to meet the family. I’ll lay a nice little tea on for you next week. But now get that drink down you and go and put the poor lad out of his misery.’
Minutes later Flora set off for the docks with her face glowing. She could hardly wait to see Jamie’s face when she told him the news, but as she approached the spot where they normally met she was surprised to see that he wasn’t there. She began to walk up and down in an effort to keep warm as she waited for him. Once or twice she saw men approaching and her heart leapt as she started to rush towards them, a broad smile on her face as she tried to imagine how happy he would be when she told him of her decision and how much she loved him, but as they drew closer she saw that it wasn’t him, and she quickly turned away, feeling foolish and hoping they hadn’t noticed her smiling at them. Slowly the minutes ticked away and after what felt like a very long time it dawned on her that he wasn’t coming and anger began to build inside her.
He can damned well please himself if he wants to be so petty, she fumed to herself as she turned and headed for her employer’s home. He couldn’t have thought much of me if he couldn’t even wait to hear whether I intended to go away or not. She rubbed at her cold face and realised that it was wet with tears. She dashed them away angrily. She refused to allow him to hurt her, not after he’d left her waiting for him. Well, that was the last time she’d trust a man who claimed to love her. She sniffed and tried not to think of the future she had imagined for the two of them, and how it had disappeared like morning mist.
Once back at the house she barged into Connie’s room without knocking and before she could change her mind she told her young mistress, ‘I’ve made my decision, miss. I’m coming with you so could you ask Mr Wainthrop to arrange a passage on the Titanic for me too, please.’
Delighted, Connie threw her arms about her. ‘Oh, that’s wonderful news,’ she exclaimed. ‘It won’t be half so bad if I have you to keep me company. I’ll send word to Mr Wainthrop first thing in the morning.’
And so it was decided and Flora wondered why she didn’t feel excited at the prospect anymore. Mrs Merry on the other hand was elated when Flora told her of her decision to go, although she also felt incredibly guilty. She’d noticed Flora wasn’t looking her normal cheery self and she knew that this was her fault. Had she informed her of Jamie’s visit she had no doubt the girl’s decision might have been very different, but it was too late to do anything about it. Now all she had to do was worry about them going all that way on such a big ship.
‘It’s all right, Merry,’ Connie told her. ‘We shall be quite safe.’
‘Huh!’ Mrs Merry huffed. ‘I shan’t rest till I know you’ve arrived safely at your aunt’s. It feels like you’re goin’ to the other side of the world!’
Connie and Flora exchanged an amused glance then went to the loft to start bringing down the luggage they would need for their trip.
Five days later when Mrs Merry collected the mail from the doormat one morning she saw a letter with a Nuneaton postmark addressed to Flora and she hastily thrust it into her pocket. She hated being so deceitful but then, she reasoned, it was in Connie’s best interests for Flora to go with her to New York and that’s what mattered most.
When she finally got an opportunity to be on her own, she opened the letter, and as she read Jamie’s words her eyes filled with tears.
My dearest,
I’m so sorry I missed you when I popped round to Connie’s house to see you and I’m also sorry that we parted on bad terms. Although I hate the idea of us being apart for three long years I shouldn’t have said what I said and I sincerely hope that you will forgive me, for the thought of a life without you is unbearable. Of course you must go to New York if you feel that Connie needs you, safe in the knowledge that I will still be here waiting for you when you get back, no matter how long you are gone.
My father remains quite poorly so it will be some time before I am able to be back in London, although thankfully the doctor hopes that he will eventually make a full recovery.
Please write back to me, my love, and tell me that I am forgiven,
Until then, all my love
Jamie xxxx
Mrs Merry gulped as she jammed the letter back into the envelope and pushed it deep into the pocket of her pinny. The deceit was proving hard to live with but surely she was right to think of Connie above all others, fond as she was of Flora? All she had to do now was pray that Jamie didn’t return before the girls set off on their journey.
Over the next few weeks Connie and Flora carefully packed whatever clothes they thought they might need in New York and set about packing a separate trunk of clothes they would need for the journey. Connie was still dressing in dark clothes, black, lilac and purple, as a sign of respect for her father but she did give Flora a number of things that she no longer wore and Flora was thrilled with them.
‘You look quite the young lady,’ Flora’s mother commented when she visited wearing one of Connie’s discarded gowns late in February. ‘Though I still can’t think what made you change your mind about goin’! You was quite adamant that you wouldn’t not so long ago.’
Flora flushed. She was too proud to tell her mother that it was because Jamie had dumped her and merely shrugged. ‘A girl can change her mind, can’t she?’ she quipped and got on with slicing the cheese they were having for tea.
Disgruntled, Emily didn’t make any more comments. She knew her daughter inside out. Flora could be as stubborn as an old mule when she had a mind to be and she also knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t let her young mistress down now that all the travel arrangements had been made. She just wished that she wasn’t going because she knew that she would miss her terribly and three years was an awfully long time.