‘Flora … Flora! Whatever is the matter with you? It’s as if you’re in your own little world.’
‘Wh-what? Oh, sorry, Connie. I was miles away,’ Flora apologised. ‘What was it you said?’
‘I asked three times … where is my bed jacket?’ Connie frowned. ‘What’s wrong with you? Are you feeling seasick or something?’
‘Oh no, no, it’s nothing like that,’ Flora hastily assured her as she crossed to a chest of drawers and immediately found what Connie wanted. ‘It’s just … Well, if you must know, I’ve met someone. A really lovely young man, as it happens.’
Connie frowned again as she saw the dreamy look in Flora’s eyes. ‘Well, I hope you won’t forget what you’ve come for – to keep me company?’ she griped.
‘Of course I won’t!’ Flora was indignant now. ‘I just met him this afternoon and only then because you wanted some quiet time and sent me off out so you could read your book. Had you needed me I wouldn’t even have gone out, you know I wouldn’t.’
‘Sorry,’ Connie said, feeling guilty now. ‘And of course you need some time to yourself too. But do be careful. I mean … this man could be anybody. Is he from the steerage passengers?’
‘As it happens he and his parents have a suite of rooms like this in first class.’ Flora’s chin came up as she gazed at Connie as if daring her to dispute it.
‘Oh … I see.’ Connie gazed back at her solemnly. ‘Then just be careful all the same. We are two young women travelling on our own and you know what Mr Wainthrop said, trust no one.’
Flora pursed her lips and started to prepare the table ready for their meal. She desperately longed to go to the sumptuous dining room but Connie was still insisting that their meals were served in their room. Still, she thought, she’d taken to going to bed early since she’d lost her father, so it might be possible to slip out and see Toby later that evening. He had hinted that he might take a stroll along the promenade deck before retiring.
Just as she had hoped, Connie was settled in bed with her book by nine o’clock so Flora hurriedly slipped away to her own room and brushed her hair till it shone. She put her cape and bonnet on and tiptoed out into the cold night air. She could hear music coming from the direction of the dining room and was lured to the sound like a moth to a flame. Through the window she could see elegant women wearing stunning gowns in all the colours of the rainbow, seated next to gentlemen who dressed in formal black dinner suits that made them look like the pictures of penguins she had seen in books. Every woman seemed to be dripping in jewels as if they were trying to outdo each other and they flashed in the lights of the sparkling crystal chandeliers. Huge vases of exotic-looking flowers were dotted about the edges of the room and although she was outside she could imagine how beautiful they must smell. She was so taken with the sight that when Toby came up behind her and gently placed his hand on her arm she almost jumped out of her skin.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.’ He grinned. ‘I thought it was you staring through the window. Why don’t you come in?’
He too was wearing a dark evening suit, complemented by a crisp white shirt and a black dicky bow, and he looked very suave and sophisticated.
‘Oh, I er … I’m not really dressed for it,’ she muttered, staring down at her plain day dress. It was one of Connie’s old ones and by far the best she had ever owned but she knew that she would stand out like a sore thumb if she were to walk into the dining room in it and felt deeply embarrassed.
‘For what it’s worth I think you look quite delightful,’ he told her smoothly, making hot colour burn in her cheeks. ‘But if you don’t feel comfortable coming inside why don’t we take advantage of the music and have a dance out here?’
‘Here!’ She stared around the deserted deck. It was far too cold for many people to want to venture outside and her breath was hanging in the air in front of her like fine lace. Even so when he placed his arm about her waist, heat flooded through her. The band were playing a waltz and she lowered her eyes as she told him, ‘I-I’m not really much good at dancing.’
‘Then I’ll teach you,’ he told her, raising her hand into his. Very gently he began to lead her and as she stared up into his handsome face she did her best to match her steps to his.
‘There you are,’ he teased. ‘You’re a natural.’ Very soon they were gliding along the deck and Flora felt as if she was floating and wished that it could go on forever. The moon was turning the sea to liquid silver and the night took on a magical air. However, after a time he told her regretfully, ‘I suppose I should be getting back in now. My parents will wonder where I’ve got to. Are you sure you won’t come in?’
Flora came back down to earth with a bump as she hastily stepped away from him. Whatever would his parents think of her … a maid!
‘No, thank you, I ought to get back to make sure that Connie doesn’t need anything.’
‘Very well, then hopefully I shall see you at some point tomorrow, Flora. Goodnight.’ Before she knew what was happening he bent his head and as his lips lightly brushed hers her heart started to hammer so loudly in her chest that she was sure he must be able to hear it.
‘Goodnight, Toby.’
He gave her a courteous little bow and she stood as if rooted to the spot until he disappeared back through the doors. When he was gone she raised her hand to touch her lips and just for a second she thought of the kisses she’d shared with Jamie, but she pushed the thought away; he’d made his choice when he ran away. So, smiling to herself, she hurried back to her room where she sat shivering and staring through the cabin window at the stars overhead, reliving every second of the evening in her mind.
The following morning at breakfast Connie remarked, ‘You’re very quiet today. Are you feeling unwell?’
‘Not at all.’ Flora helped herself to another fried egg. All this fresh air was giving her an enormous appetite. ‘On the contrary, I feel wonderful. Who wouldn’t aboard such a lovely ship? Why don’t you come for a stroll this morning? You’re looking a little pale and the fresh air will do you good.’
‘I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to take a turn around the deck but we’ll have to wrap up warmly, it seems to be getting colder by the minute. The steward who brought my cocoa last night said we could be seeing icebergs in another day or so.’
As Flora laid Connie’s clothes out for her she groaned as she saw the belt that Mrs Merry had made for her. ‘Do I have to wear that again today? It’s rubbed all the skin around my middle.’
‘Mine has too,’ Flora admitted. ‘But I have worn it religiously just as I promised her I would.’ Connie’s jewels and papers were evenly spread between the two belts.
‘Let’s just hide them in here for today. It’s hardly likely that anyone is going to come in and steal them, is it? Merry was so worried that I might forget my aunt’s address but I swear it’s burned into my brain even if I were to lose it.’
‘Mine too,’ Flora admitted and promptly pushed both of the belts into the bottom of the wardrobe and covered them with a carpet bag. ‘There!’ She stood back up and rubbed her hands together with a satisfied sigh. ‘It will be nice not to have it digging into me every time I sit down for a while.’
They set off for a brisk walk along the promenade. The first-class deck was decorated in a Tudor style – for once, Flora recognised this – and stretched all along the side of the ship with comfortable padded chairs set down the length of it, where wealthy women in expensive-looking fur coats sat sipping coffee and chatting. The deck was under cover but it was still bitterly cold as the girls stood at the rails looking out at the vast expanse of the ocean. They walked up and down for a little while, until by mid-morning Flora persuaded Connie to go into one of the many salons leading from it. The fragrant aroma of coffee greeted them the second they stepped through the door and they had barely had time to find a seat when a waiter in a snow-white jacket with a little towel folded neatly across his arm hurried over to take their order.
‘Yes, ladies, what may I get for you?’ he purred respectfully and Connie gave him their order.
‘Ah, this is the life,’ Flora remarked, her cheeks pink from the cold air outside. ‘I could get used to being waited on like this.’
‘Instead of you having to wait on me, you mean?’ Connie asked with a grin.
‘No … I didn’t mean that at all. I love working for you,’ Flora told her. ‘But that doesn’t mean to say that I can’t make the most of it, does it? We’ve been sailing for two days already. The voyage will be over before we know it so I’m going to make the most of every minute.’
They enjoyed coffee and fresh-baked biscuits and Connie watched Flora tuck in with amusement. ‘You’ll be the size of a house by the time we get to New York at this rate,’ she teased.
‘I know.’ Flora managed to spray crumbs all down the front of her dress. ‘I really should stop eating so much but everything is so tasty.’
At that moment a heavily made-up, middle-aged woman and a gentleman went by them and leaning towards Connie, Flora whispered, ‘Do you suppose that’s a real mink coat she’s wearing?’
Connie nodded. ‘Undoubtedly. There are some very rich people aboard. She’s probably got a wardrobe full of them.’
‘Blimey!’ The word slipped out before she could stop it and Flora glanced at Connie apologetically. Soon after they embarked on another tour of the ship, this time to the tennis courts, but as lunchtime approached they made their way back to their rooms.
‘I’m not really hungry but get the steward to bring you anything you want,’ Connie told her. ‘I’m going to lie on my bed and read for a while.’
Flora spent a restless hour pacing up and down. She longed to go and see if she could track Toby down but didn’t dare to in case Connie needed anything. She was supposed to be there to cater to her every need after all, although the maids and stewards seemed to be doing a very good job of that. All she was really needed for was to arrange Connie’s hair and help her with dressing and undressing.
It wasn’t until Connie was settled that evening that she managed to get out again and once more she headed for the dining room to stare through the windows, hoping for a sight of Toby. Once again she was mesmerised as she stared at the women in their beautiful gowns and listened to the sound of the orchestra. The dining room was quite stunning with huge marble pillars that reached right up to the ceiling and with the beautiful sweeping staircase rising up from it, the entire scene looked like it had come straight out of a fairy tale.
‘I hope you’re looking for me?’
The voice made her spin around and when she saw Toby standing there her face lit up.
‘I was hoping you’d come,’ he said, and taking her hand he began to lead her away. Soon she was completely lost as they climbed up to the upper decks, but still she followed him trustingly until they came to the lifeboats where he dragged her into the shadows.
‘I know what girls like you want,’ he said as his arms came tightly about her and the first feelings of panic fluttered to life in her stomach. Where was the knight in shining armour who had held her tenderly in his arms and danced the night away with her the night before? He had her backed up tight to one of the lifeboats and now his hands began to roam up and down her body.
‘What are you doing?’ she snapped indignantly as she tried to thrust him away. ‘And what exactly do you mean? Girls like me!’
‘Now don’t be a tease.’ His mouth was pressed against her ear and she began to struggle.
‘Toby … stop it this minute, do you hear me?’ she yelped but he appeared to have gone deaf as he thrust his hand into her cape and viciously squeezed her breast.
‘I shall scream if you don’t stop!’ she warned him and when he ignored her and carried on groping she brought her knee up with all the force she could muster, catching him right between the legs. It was a little tip her brother had taught her years ago if ever she found herself in just this position. He instantly doubled over and reeled away from her as she hastily stepped around him and attempted to straighten her hat which was all askew.
‘You are no gentleman, sir!’ she spat as she sailed past him, but inside she was crying. How could I have been so foolish as to trust him? she berated herself. Men like him felt that girls from the lower classes like me are just there to be used and abused. Didn’t Connie try to warn me? But I was so swept away with him and so flattered at his attention that I wasn’t thinking straight. Well, I certainly won’t make that mistake again, she promised herself, feeling dirty and humiliated as she raced back to her room without once looking back. She couldn’t help thinking how different Toby was to Jamie. Not once in all the time she had known him had Jamie ever attempted to abuse her, nor had he ever treated her with anything other than loving respect. But then Jamie was a true gentleman. She realised now that she had only responded to Toby’s attentions because she was trying to forget the way Jamie had abandoned her, not that she could blame him, and once again she felt bereft.
‘What a difference a day makes,’ Connie remarked the next morning as Flora poured the tea. ‘You were on top of the world yesterday about your new beau but this morning you look as if the end of the world is nigh. What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing … I just have a slight headache, and I er … thought on what you said and decided that I perhaps didn’t want to see him again after all,’ Flora replied sulkily. She was far too humiliated to tell Connie the truth.
‘That must have been the shortest romance in history,’ Connie answered, raising an eyebrow inquisitively, but Flora remained stubbornly silent.
But at least I’ve learned a lesson, Flora told herself silently and tried to go on as if nothing had happened. It had been a very hard lesson indeed.