A few days later Alex came down to breakfast sporting a black eye that would have looked more in keeping on a boxer.
She flushed as she saw Flora staring at it and after helping herself to a cup of tea from the pot she said sheepishly, ‘I er … had a bit of a run-in with my wardrobe door last night and walked straight into it.’
Margaret smirked as Flora frowned. The whole household couldn’t have failed to hear Magnus shouting at her the night before after he had returned late from his club and it was more than obvious what had happened, although Flora didn’t confront her about it until Margaret had eaten her fill and left the room.
‘So … how did you really hurt your eye?’ she asked gently and was dismayed when Alex hung her head and began to cry.
‘Magnus did that to you, didn’t he?’ Flora probed. She had heard the man shouting at her many times before although she had never noticed any bruises.
After a moment Alex reluctantly nodded. ‘Yes … but he’s sorry now. He has such a temper, you see? And I’m afraid I have a bad habit of speaking before I think.’
‘No, I’m afraid I don’t see.’ Flora was furious. Alex was such a kind gentle person and as far as she was concerned, she certainly didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
‘A long time ago, I did something very bad,’ Alex confessed then in a small voice as she glanced nervously towards the door. ‘It would have served me right if Magnus had thrown me out onto the streets but he forgave me. So you see, if every now and then I upset him I suppose I deserve it.’
‘You mean to tell me that this has happened before?’ Flora was horrified. ‘But no one deserves to be hit. Why do you put up with it?’
‘Because I have nowhere else to go,’ Alex replied simply and after taking a deep breath she went on, ‘Long ago, when your mother and I were young, I met Magnus when he was visiting England on a business trip. Your mother had recently married your father but your grandmother was very ill and she died shortly after, leaving behind a trail of debts. Magnus stepped in and offered to help if I married him and it seemed my only way out. I didn’t love him then but I thought it would come with time, so we married, he settled up my mother’s debts and I moved here to live with him and Margaret.
‘She resented me from day one, believing that I was trying to take her late mother’s place, although I swear that was never my intention. She was just a little girl then and I had dreams of us becoming friends. I knew that I would never be able to provide her with a stepbrother or sister. Magnus had quashed that dream when he informed me shortly before our marriage that following an illness he could no longer father any more children.’ Her eyes had become misty as her mind drifted back in time, but she suddenly jerked as if aware that she might have said too much and hurried on, ‘Oh, just ignore me, dear. This is nothing really. He didn’t mean to do it and it will be healed in a day or two.’
Flora clamped her lips shut. It was clear that Alex wasn’t going to say anymore but she felt desperately sorry for her and worse still for deceiving her. Alex scuttled out of the room then and left her alone with her thoughts. Flora sighed. Another boring day stretched ahead of her. She had soon discovered that being a lady of leisure could have its drawbacks, so after fetching a magazine from the morning room she decided to go outside and read in the morning sunshine.
She had no sooner settled in a chair in the rather pretty sunken rose garden when Patsy appeared. ‘Mr Johnson is here to see you, miss. Shall I tell him you’ll come in or shall I send him out here?’
Flora’s heart sank as she clenched her hands into fists so that Patsy wouldn’t see how they had started to shake, but she had no time to answer for at that moment Toby appeared.
‘You may go back inside,’ he told Patsy firmly and although she bobbed her knee and quickly turned about, Flora had seen the disapproving look on her face.
‘He’s no gentleman at all,’ Flora heard the girl murmur as she retraced her steps but then she was forced to give her attention to Toby who was staring at her with an amused expression on his face.
‘What do you want?’ she asked abruptly, desperately trying not to let him see how terrified she was.
‘Now is that any way to greet a visitor, my sweet Flora?’ He grinned as he took a seat next to her and began to study his nails. ‘You haven’t even offered me tea.’
‘I’m sure you’re not here to drink tea,’ she responded heatedly, glad that they were well out of earshot of anyone in the house. ‘So why don’t you just spit it out?’ She could hardly wait for him to be gone.
‘Very well, the long and the short of it is I’m in trouble again,’ he answered with no sign of remorse. ‘I must be on an unlucky streak at the moment so I need another fifty dollars.’
Flora went red in the face as she stared back at him. ‘You talk about fifty dollars as if it is nothing!’ she said incredulously.
‘Well, it isn’t to a little heiress like you, is it?’ The smile was gone now and he was glaring at her, making his usually handsome face look quite ugly. ‘But of course … if you’d rather I had a little word with …’
‘Oh, shut up!’ she snapped, knowing he had her over a barrel. ‘When do you need the money for?’
‘Tonight as it happens.’
‘Tonight!’ Flora swallowed hard before bursting out, ‘You do know that this can’t go on, surely? I’ve only just given you a hundred dollars! Connie’s solicitor back in England is going to start getting suspicious if I keep drawing large amounts of money out for no apparent reason.’
‘That’s your problem, darling, you worry too much,’ he drawled as he rose from his seat. ‘So, shall we say I collect it about six o’clock this evening?’
Flora so wanted to slap the silly smile off his face but she knew he had her hands tied behind her back and so she clenched her teeth as he casually strolled away stopping to pluck a delicate red rose from a bush and insert it into the buttonhole of his expensive suit on the way. She sat there seething for a time but then despair washed over her and lowering her head she began to weep.
Suddenly Margaret appeared with a smug smile on her face and Flora hastily mopped away her tears.
‘So …’ Margaret grinned maliciously. ‘Entertaining gentleman callers in the garden, now, are we?’
Flora frowned at her as she rose swiftly and snatched up her magazine. She had held her tongue and not reacted to any of Margaret’s sly comments up to now. She was a guest in Margaret’s home after all, but today she was in no mood for her spite.
‘Don’t be so ridiculous,’ she replied scathingly. ‘Toby was just passing and called in to say hello.’ She made to march past her but Margaret’s next comment made her stop dead in her tracks as a cold finger snaked up her spine.
‘Hmm, I saw him coming down the path. I was collecting some roses for the dining room.’ She pointed to the half-full basket on her arm. ‘But why would he call you Flora? And why would he expect you to hand money over to him? I heard him quite clearly.’
The colour drained from Flora’s face as she stood there trying to think of some plausible excuse. ‘W-we became friends on the Titanic,’ she faltered. ‘And it seems that he’s got himself into debt gambling so he called to ask if I would lend him some money to get him out of a tight spot. I don’t suppose he wants his parents to know about it. And he didn’t call me Flora, you must have misheard him.’
Margaret grinned. ‘It didn’t sound like he was asking a favour to me. It sounded like he was demanding money from you. And wasn’t Flora the name of the maid who was supposed to be coming with Constance?’
‘I am Constance,’ Flora croaked. ‘And yes, Flora was the name of my maid, either you misheard him or he got mixed up with our names. I didn’t notice. He got to know both of us on board so if he did call me Flora it was just a mistake.’
‘It all sounds rather fishy to me,’ Margaret remarked, staring at her suspiciously.
‘I really think you’re reading too much into this,’ Flora answered as she struggled to regain her composure. ‘But now if you’ll excuse me I have to go into the city.’
‘I bet you do,’ Margaret gloated as Flora hurried by without another word.
Once in the privacy of her room Flora’s hand flew to her mouth as she began to pace back and forth in a panic. If Margaret were to voice her suspicions to Alex or Magnus the game would be up good and proper. Magnus had never attempted to make her feel welcome and Alex was far too afraid of him to stand up to him if he ordered her from the house. Worse still, he might choose to have her arrested for taking on Connie’s identity and for theft, and could she really blame him if he did? she asked herself, for she was painfully aware that every penny she drew out of Connie’s account was stealing.
I’ve got to leave, and soon, before I get found out, she told herself. But where shall I go?
Margaret was spiteful and vindictive and certainly couldn’t be trusted to keep her mouth shut for long. Snatching up her hat and coat, Flora hurried downstairs and slipped out of the front door unnoticed. She was quaking inside but she automatically took the route that was now familiar to her as she headed for the bank. Once there she withdrew the money that Toby had demanded and tucked it safely into her bag before going to stand on the pavement outside.
The rest of the day stretched endlessly ahead of her now. She didn’t wish to see Margaret again so eventually she began to wander aimlessly until she came to a park. Slipping through the gates she headed for the nearest bench where she sat watching nannies pushing babies in prams and young couples strolling arm in arm. The sight of the babies made her think again of the tiny girl she had held in her arms aboard the lifeboat, the poor little mite who hadn’t survived. The couples made her think of Jamie and she blinked away tears. I’ve been such a fool, she thought miserably. But there was no time for moping now and so after a while she pulled herself together with an enormous effort and, angrily dashing away her tears, she rose and set off again.
It was late that afternoon before she dared venture back to the house where she found, to her relief, that Margaret had gone out.
‘Ah, here you are, dear,’ Alex greeted her as she came out of the drawing room with a book under her arm. ‘A letter from Mr Wainthrop came for you while you were out and one for me too enquiring after your health and asking me how you were settling in. I must say he does sound like a very caring man.’
‘He is.’ Flora lifted the letter that had been left for her from the silver tray in the hall table. At the thought of his kindness, Flora’s insides shrivelled with guilt. She was sick of having to watch every word she said and the longer it went on the more difficult it became. But at least it was clear that Margaret hadn’t carried out her threat as yet, because if she had, there was no way Alex would have greeted her as she had. Even so, Flora knew deep down that it was only a matter of time now. Margaret had made it more than clear that Flora wasn’t welcome there and now she would surely use the information she had gained to her advantage. She gave Alex a smile then hurried upstairs to read Mr Wainthrop’s letter in the privacy of her room.
My dear Constance,
I thought I would just drop you a quick line to check that all is well and that you have recovered from your dreadful ordeal. I visited Flora’s parents and siblings again last week just to see how they were coping and to try to persuade them again to accept the money you have offered but they are still flatly refusing what they think of as charity. They are understandably still deeply upset about Flora’s death, as I’m sure you are. I know that you were very fond of each other so I hope that you are coping.
Mrs Merry sends her love as always but she too is deeply upset at Flora’s loss. She is doing a sterling job of looking after the house. Have you made a decision yet as to whether you wish to keep it to return to eventually or have it sold? There is of course no rush. Just inform me what you want to do when you have reached a decision and I will carry out your wishes. Meantime I am always here if there is anything at all I can do for you.
With very best wishes
Victor Wainthrop.
Tears slid down Flora’s cheeks again as she carefully folded the letter and returned it to the envelope. She thought of the pain her family must be enduring, and in that moment, she knew that enough was enough. She couldn’t go on living a lie for a moment longer. Before she could change her mind, she locked the door – it wouldn’t do if Patsy were to walk in and catch her packing – and hurried to the wardrobe where she withdrew one of the bags that some of her new clothes had been delivered in. She was determined that she wouldn’t take much, so she packed only one change of clothes, a nightshirt and some underwear. The rest was left hanging in the wardrobe, for everything had never really been hers anyway.
Then she sat down to write a note to Alex and it was one of the most difficult things she had ever had to do. She sat for some time staring at the paper and eventually, with shaking hands, she began.
Dear Alex,
I know after you read this note you will never forgive me and I don’t blame you for I have done something quite unforgivable. What I am about to tell you will be very painful for you and I can only apologise but I cannot live a lie any longer, for you see it wasn’t Flora, the maid, who died on the dreadful evening the Titanic sank, it was your niece, Connie. I am Flora. When I was rescued I was wearing a belt about my waist containing Connie’s name and her jewellery and so the doctors and nurses aboard the Carpathia assumed that I was her. I was so terrified of arriving in a strange city with no one I knew waiting for me that I went along with the deception, but I find that I can’t live with myself anymore. I know now that what I did was foolish and I also know that what I am telling you will cause you great pain and I can only apologise. If I could go back in time I would never have done it but it is too late now and so I must finally tell you the truth and leave your home to make my own way.
Thank you for all the kindness you have shown me since I have been in your home and once again I apologise for my deception.
Flora xxx
With tears flowing thick and fast down her cheeks, she slid the note into an envelope, addressed it to Alex and propped it up against the jewellery box, which still contained Connie’s jewellery that had been in the bag that Mrs Merry had made for her. At least that was all still intact. Strangely enough she had always envied Connie her jewels yet never once since her arrival had she been able to bring herself to wear any of them.
She rose and glanced about the room, and the enormity of what she was about to do hit her. Once she set foot out of the door and Alex had read her letter there could be no coming back. She would be completely alone in a foreign country with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. But even that was preferable to continuing to live a lie, and at least she had the money that she had withdrawn for Toby. She would borrow it for now but once she had managed to get a job she would return it. She put the equivalent of forty English pounds in dollars into the belt that Mrs Merry had made for her and fastened it around her waist. The rest of the money she tucked deep into her bag.
She smiled through her tears as she thought how angry Toby would be when he discovered that she had run away. He would have to find some other poor soul to blackmail and it would serve him right. That was the only good thing to come out of this whole sorry mess. Then, quiet as a mouse, she tiptoed out onto the landing. There was no one to be seen thankfully so she crept downstairs and hurried towards the front door. Once outside she breathed a sigh of relief, then, lifting her skirts, she scooted along the pavement in a most unladylike manner determined to put as much distance as she could between herself and the lie she had been living.