25

Since Tetzel had a meeting elsewhere and didn’t plan to return to the office until around four o’clock, I took the luxury of a two-hour lunch with Keith, never having enjoyed his company more, nor appreciated the fact that he was so detached from my other life—refreshing as a cool breeze after a rain.

Around three o’clock I meandered slowly back to the bank, and, crossing Alamo Plaza, noticed Electra Cabot disappearing into the post office. It did not occur to me just then that she should not have been there. I thought of this after I returned to work and typed the date at the top of a letterhead. She was to leave at mid-day on her trip, I remembered, then figured she might have changed her mind about going, or decided to delay till the following day, when Cabot went to Mexico. It did seem a little odd for her to have preceded him by a day, missing the chance for some more time with him, now that I thought about it.

People change plans all the time, I told myself. Yet, now that Electra was suspect, I just couldn’t get her departure from schedule off my mind. By the time I walked into Joske’s at six o’clock, I’d decided to go down to the house at Beauregard and Washington after work, just to see what was going on.

I arrived at ten o’clock. Picking the nearest house to theirs with its automobile missing from the garage and the lights out—my usual custom—I crouched down among some bushes nearby and watched. The only lights in the Cabot house across the street were those burning in Nathan’s window. I couldn’t be sure from my vantage point, but I thought the garage was empty.

I sat looking at the same unchanged scene until eleven o’clock, and, thinking how foolish I was for worrying in the first place, rose to leave. It was then the big Overland rolled down the street and turned into the drive. I waited long enough to see two dark figures start across the grounds from the garage toward the house.

Though they were too encased in shadows for me to be sure, I had no real doubt it was Cabot and Electra. She had on a big Gainsborough hat. I didn’t see any other lights go on in the house, though I assumed they turned on lights at the back. I was about to leave when the people who occupied the house beside the shrubbery where I was hiding came down the street. I dropped to my knees just in time to avoid being caught by their headlights. I’d have to wait, then, till they’d gotten out of the car and gone inside. They had several children along, and there was much complaining and shifting around before they all got out of the car and inside. I wasn’t sure whether there were more still out there, or if the father would come out and unload the car should it be necessary, so I waited a bit longer. Crossing would have put me in full view of anyone going back to the garage.

Meantime I kept my eyes on the Cabot house.

The lights continued to burn in Nathan’s quarters. Midnight. My curiosity about him was at a peak anyhow, and I decided to steal across the street and peer in the window, just to see what in the world he could be doing up so late. Maybe I could see something that would give me a clue as to his odd behavior of late.

Oh, this is really dreadful, I thought as I crossed the street, pulse pumping. Edwin would murder me for taking this kind of an idiotic chance. But then my curiosity had truly gotten the best of me. I was spying for myself, not for the BNA. Edging up to the window, I saw Nathan seated very still in his chair. Profile to the window, his eyes were closed, his shirt collar unhooked, sleeves rolled up. At first I thought he was asleep. Then slowly his hand came over the side of the chair. He picked up a handgun and turned it over and over in his grip before laying it aside again and leaning back in the chair. All at once the things he had been saying and doing over the past few weeks made sense. He was going to take his life. I had to stop him.

The only usable explanation for banging on his door was my old starved-for-love routine. It would just have to do. The Cabots, by now asleep upstairs, would probably not even hear a gun fire between the thick walls. If not for me, there would be no one to save him from himself.

He opened the door slightly and looked out. His face was haggard. “You! What do you want?” he demanded.

“It’s cold out here. May I come in?”

“Come back some other time.”

I thrust an arm inside the door. “Couldn’t we just talk for a few minutes? You haven’t talked to me much lately.”

He left to close the other door, leading to the foyer—it was slightly ajar—then returned. “I guess it’s all right. But only for a few minutes.”

I walked in and sat down near him. The only light came from a dim desk lamp. His quarters seemed close and overpowering. He was halfway through a bottle of whiskey. He poured himself another glass, looking ahead at the wall above the desk, as though I weren’t there. I glanced down at his lap and saw a black Bible there. It looked ominous somehow, in that position. I felt the blood rise in my temples. Finally I cleared my throat and said, “You’re putting away an awful lot of that whiskey … how will you be able to work tomorrow?”

He looked across at the ledgers covering the desk and said, “I finished tonight. Everything Cabot has done is down there in those pages, all balanced and reconciled.…” Then he added with almost a smile, “Just like me.”

I ran my tongue over my lips. I would have given a lot to have those ledgers in my possession. “Swell. Why don’t you take some time off?” I said brightly. “Do you good.”

He smiled to himself. “Oh, I am … I won’t ever have to touch one of those filthy things again.”

I sat back. The liquor was apparently loosening his well-guarded tongue. There was no end to what I might find out from him tonight, if I asked the right questions. “So, you’re quitting Cabot at last. I’ve always suspected you didn’t really like keeping books.”

He raised the Bible in front of him and said, “I’ve found all the answers right in here … funny, all those years I was afraid, and the answers were right under my nose.”

He sounded like a fresh convert, as, in a way, he was. “This book has given me courage to do what must be done … I don’t have to be afraid anymore. The Lord loves me. He forgives me of all the bad things I’ve done, and He uses me to reach His own ends.” He put the Bible down again. I didn’t see how this had much to do with what interested me. I wanted to get back to Cabot.

“You worked for Cabot a long time, and passed up the chance to go elsewhere. I could have gotten you a job at the bank, remember—”

He considered me for a few moments, and gradually his peaceful expression changed. His eyes narrowed, his lips hardened. In the shadows he had an almost demonic look. His voice was low. “You stupid little bitch … coming around me when I never wanted you, pestering me because of the way I live. Do you think a man would live like I do if he was free? Don’t you recognize the devil incarnate when you run into him?”

“Who—you mean Cabot?”

“Of course, you little fool. The Bible says the devil will bring evil to our lives, but that with the power of Christ we can overcome him. And now I know that it’s true.”

“But Cabot’s not—”

“Oh, you think you know so much, but you don’t,” he said. His eyes were little flames. “Electra knows. She wouldn’t tell you, but she knows, and now I’ve freed her. She’s safe and far away. He’ll never be able to hurt her again.”

I started to tell him she was very much here in this house, but before I could he was talking again. “I’ll bet you didn’t know he beat her once. And if you could hear the horrible things he has said to her … oh, when I think of the times I’ve heard him lash out at her with his poisonous tongue, powerless to stop him. More than once I’ve felt the force so strongly I’ve crawled into a corner and covered my ears.”

I swallowed hard. “Well, if that’s so, why didn’t you interfere?”

“Because I couldn’t. Much as I wanted to, I couldn’t because he might have killed me, then no one would have been around to help her when the opportunity came. And if I was lucky to be quicker than he was, and kill him, nothing would be gained because I would still be subject to his will. Can’t you see the devil emerging even as I tell you how he works?”

I sat still and quiet.

“The Lord promises those of us who suffer travail upon the earth shall find peace and happiness in heaven.… I don’t have anything to fear anymore,” he said, and put his head back again. “You’re not convinced, poor little lamb Camille.… It follows, though, because the devil has enormous powers of deception. I’ll tell you something, will you believe me? Even after Electra left on the train today, he brought another of those harlots home with him tonight, brought her to this house Electra worked so hard to keep for him. She was trash, just like him. I heard them go up the stairs, talking and laughing. They’re lying up there together now,” he said, glancing above, then across at me. His eyes were very bright for a moment. He looked down again and continued, “No one has ever known how much I could hear in this house, and Cabot himself caused the mistake that made it possible. He hurried me when I was working on it before we moved in, and I left a hollow wall without intending to. It was his fault, driving me to finish when I was so tired I could hardly stand up. He foiled himself, and because of that I was led to the Lord at last.”

“I don’t understand.”

“If not for the desperation, knowing time was running out and I didn’t know what to do, I would never have gone to a prayer meeting. I was nearly mad after he struck her, but I lacked the courage and the wisdom to defy the devil. But now I’ve done it. He can never hurt either of us again.”

I wanted very much to get him to the core, and it seemed that each time I came nearer he whirled off on his religious reel again, talking nonsense, thinking he was led by the Lord when he was spurred on by the liquor. His voice was becoming more and more slurred. If I could only get to the bottom of what he was talking about.…

Finally I said, “You were with Cabot for years before Electra came along. I still don’t understand why you stayed, hating him as you did.”

He paused and blinked at me. I had the feeling he was not really aware of my presence any longer. He looked back toward the wall. “Cabot saw me kill them.”