In the darkened living room, Grace settled into her comfortable rocking chair and nursed Christian. Everything was peaceful. And wonderful. Perfect.
Once Christian’s belly was full, he unhooked his mouth from her tender breast and kicked his little legs with surprising strength. Not having spent a lot of time around babies, she didn’t recall them being as strong.
“Whoa, you’re getting to be such a big boy.” She lifted him to rest against her collarbone and patted his tiny back. His gentle breath tickled her neck. She kissed his pudgy cheeks. “I love you, sweetheart,” she whispered.
As if he understood her sentiment, his lips curled upward. At that instant, unconditional mother-love became real. She returned his smile and the bond between mother and child solidified.
His eyelids drooped and he showed her a big yawn. Maybe tonight, she’d finally get the good night’s sleep she craved.
Roman’s visit couldn’t have come at a better time. She’d missed him dearly. Up until today, she had to settle for only his voice to comfort her during their separation. Some evenings they spoke on the phone as many as three times. But nothing substituted for his strong arms around her or the passion in his kisses. And soon they’d be husband and wife.
Another big yawn from her son and his body went limp. “Off to dreamland, little guy.” After closing her nursing bra, she carried him across the cushy carpeting into their bedroom. With great care, she set him in his bassinette, and watched the product of her and Roman’s love, sleeping.
Besides Roman, baby Christian was all she had. She tucked a soft, yellow baby blanket decorated with white bunnies around him, and smiled at her innocent babe asleep.
Easing the bedroom door closed, she buttoned her pajama top and padded back into the living room. She plopped on the sofa, drew her legs up, and turned on the television. With jangled nerves from lack of sleep, she channel-surfed, searching for a show that promised belly-laughs. Choosing a Frasier rerun, she snuggled under a fleece blanket.
A key sounded in the front door. Tossing the blanket aside, she sat upright and held her breath, hoping it was Deanna.
The door creaked open. “Anybody home?” Deanna asked.
Hearing her friend’s cheerful voice, Grace’s breathing returned to normal. “Only Christian and me.”
“No Roman?”
“He left hours ago.”
Deanna flipped on the lights and headed into the kitchen. “Have you called your mom yet?” she asked, pulling a bottle of Coke from the refrigerator. Lately, Deanna’s mantra seemed to be call-your-mom. Call-your-mom. Call-your-mom.
“I will.”
Deanna arched one brow. “Yeah, right.” She closed the refrigerator door and scanned the living room. “Where’s the little squirt?”
“In the bedroom. Sleeping, thank God!” Grace wound her hair into a twist and fastened it with a hairclip.
“Good.” Deanna tipped her soda. “Hopefully, tonight you can get a full night’s sleep. You’re starting to get dark circles under your eyes.”
Grace chuckled. “I don’t even remember what it’s like to sleep through the night.”
“With him asleep, you can call your mom. Right? No more excuses.” Deanna set her drink on the coffee table. “I’ve got to get out of these clothes. Be right back. Call your mom now.”
As much as she hated to admit it, Deanna was right. Grace had run out of excuses about why she couldn’t make the call and now guilt weighed heavy on her heart. She wiped her sweaty palms on her pajama bottoms, and plucked her cell phone from the coffee table. She hit speed dial, and after one ring, someone answered.
“Hi, Mom?”
“Honey, I’m glad you called. Your dad and I have been worrying about you since you-know-who… We’ve always been able to talk to each other about anything. I miss that…How’s school? Tell us everything you’ve been doing.”
“I’m sorry, but I’ve been kind of busy. With school and work and all.”
“About the whole Jake fiasco. What he did—”
Grace didn’t want to talk about Jake. “There’s something you and Dad need to know. Something’s happened.”
A gasp sounded from the other end of the line. “What’s wrong, honey?”
Christian chose that exact moment to howl. Grace slammed her cell to her chest, and prayed her mother didn’t hear him cry. To quiet her son, she ran into the bedroom and slipped a pacifier in his mouth. It worked. He stopped crying. That was close. Maybe her mother hadn’t heard him cry.
“Where are you?” her mother asked.
“Home.”
“Was that a baby crying?”
Oh God, she heard him. “Yes.” She closed her eyes, dreading the questions that would surely follow.
The voice on the other end sounded casual, but suspicious. “Whose baby is it?”
“Uh….” She couldn’t bring herself to answer. Every inch of her five foot eight body quaked. A sick feeling swept over her. As much as she wanted to tell her mother it belonged to a friend, the words stuck in her conscience. She didn’t want to lie anymore.
“Grace, are you there?”
“Yes.”
“I asked you who the baby belonged to.”
Her hands shook and she took a deep breath. “Mom, I…uh….” Instead of conjuring up some sophisticated answer, she simply blurted, “Mine.” She’d finally said the once-feared word. Tears welled. Her worrying was for naught. “He’s mine, Mom. My baby.” The heavy burden she’d carried for so long lifted.
Silence screamed from the other end of the line.
“When did you have this baby?”
“Nine weeks ago,” she answered softly, closed her eyes and waited for her mother’s response.
“What?” Mom shrieked. “That’s over two months! And you didn’t tell us?” Silence. “Is it Jake’s?” she asked, her voice lowering to a growl. Jake would be the obvious assumption.
Grace bristled at the thought of Jake touching her. “No.”
“It’s not?” Another uncomfortable pause zinged her from the other side of the conversation. “Then who’s the father?”
“He’s someone you don’t know. I met him here—after Jake and I broke up.” A sob forced its way up from her heart. “Please don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you. You’re my daughter.” Her mother’s voice trembled. “I love you.”
Tears spilled from her eyes. “I love you too, Mom.”
Her mother cleared her throat. “Now tell me about my grandchild.”
Grace wiped her eyes. “It’s a little boy. His name is Christian Alexander.”
“Tell me about the father. When am I going to meet him and my grandbaby?”
“His name is Roman. I’m not sure when you’ll be able to meet him. Right now, he’s not doing too well. He has a…blood disorder.” She wasn’t lying. He did have a blood disorder. Sort of.
“I feel terrible. I should have been there for you.” Racked with sobs, her mother continued. “I could have helped out. I was sick as a dog the entire time I carried you.” Regaining her composure, her mom spoke with conviction. “I’m going to fly out to spend time with you and meet my grandbaby as soon as I can, but it’ll have to wait until next week.”
“Please Mom, you don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do. I have to see my grandson.”
“I’ll email you a picture.” An uncomfortable pause followed. “I have more news that should make you happy. Roman and I are getting married.” Knowing her mother would start pressuring her into having her dad perform the ceremony, she decided to drop one more bomb. She squeezed her eyes shut. “He wants to go to Vegas.”
“Why wouldn’t he want to be married in your church?”
“He’s not Baptist.” She shook her head and moved the phone from her ear, staring at it in disbelief. Not Baptist? Considering his blood disorder, religion was the least of his problems. Her mother didn’t comment, so her explanation seemed to work. She returned the phone to her ear.
“Okay, I understand. I think.” Her mom sounded confused and she didn’t blame her.
She needed to hang up fast before her mother began her anti-Vegas spiel or worse yet, before she started asking about Roman’s blood disorder. “Oops. Got to go, Mom. I need to feed my baby. I promise I’ll e-mail you a picture of him tomorrow. Love you,” she rattled off at machine-gun speed.
“Love you, too.” Her mother barely had time to respond before Grace hung up.
Deanna stood in the doorway, holding the drowsy baby.
“Look. I’m still shaking.” Grace held up her trembling hands.
“You did good, kid.”
“My mom wants to come out for a visit. That’s all I need—her and Roman together. What if she can tell he’s not exactly what she expected in a future son-in-law?” She snorted. “A blood disorder. I told her Roman had a blood disorder!”
They broke out in a fit of giggles.
“Aren’t you glad you talked to her?”
Wiping away tears of laughter, she nodded.
“What about your dad?”
“She’s going to tell him about Christian. But before he gets too spun up, she’s going to remind him that seven months after they were married, I showed up.”