My Fight

Just because I forgave my adversaries

didn’t mean I was going to stop fighting them

—especially the Church.

Fighting against the Church

in some way, shape, or form

has been my lifetimes-long mission.

Your mission does not involve the Church, my Lady drops in.

“Uh . . . then why have I come out of my underground cell

if I can’t sock it to the Church and champion the Good?!”

I, as my newly unearthed soul fragment, shoot back.

Because that will not heal your wounds or help this world, my Lady responds.

This world needs something different from you.

It needs you.

I pause and consider all my lives since Sarah.

But, who am I if I’m not fighting against opposition

or for what my soul holds Sacred?

Fighting for spiritual justice has become who I am.

I rub my head as I realize what this means.

Ceasing my fight means losing parts of my identity.

I have to give up being the victim, the martyr, the heretic,

the outcast, the savior, the freedom fighter,

the rebelle with an unconscious cause

—and those parts carry a lot of power.

An image arises of me in an angry mob.

I am shaking my fist and lambasting the Church.

My eyes widen in astonishment.

I’ve been doing to the Church

what the Church has done to me

and many others!

I’ve been judging the Church, condemning it, accusing it

of not following the “real” God, and punishing it for its “sins.”

I unclench my fists.

“OK, but then how the hell do I deal with oppositional forces?” I ask.

How did your parents handle oppositional forces? My Lady tosses back.

I close my eyes and drop into my heart.

My parents didn’t fight back.

They didn’t oppose oppositional forces.

They most definitely rocked and often overturned

the spiritual, social, and political boats,

and they upset many who were abusing power and acting unjust.

But those mighty waves were created by my parents

daring to be themselves and living their truth out loud

and encouraging others to do the same,

not by my parents fighting against the system.

There’s a big difference

between forcing change

and being it.

Not fighting back

kept them on mission

and their souls intact.

It kept them out of the game

and in their hearts.

I bring my hands to my heart.

Fighting for my parents

has actually separated

me from them.

Attacking the system, fighting for justice,

or hating on my perceived enemies

—which I’ve done in a variety of subtle

and not-so-subtle ways for lifetimes—

feeds oppositional forces,

drains my life force,

reinforces my prison,

and distracts me

from my real mission.

It keeps me in the game,

and out of my heart.

It distances me from my Soul.

My Lady softly interposes:

You have to want your Soul more

than you want to win your holy war.

My “holy war” against injustice

looks and feels like I’m wearing

the top half of a suit of armor.

I realize that fighting has also been a defense

protecting me from what my father went through.

But being naked, vulnerable, with his heart exposed

turned out to be my father’s greatest strengths.

Despite what it looked like,

the oppositional forces did not win

when they crucified my father.

They only win when we close our hearts and stop Loving.

My Lady chimes in:

The Power that comes through

your undefended heart

is a Power

that can never be taken from you.

This is True Power.

This is Love’s Power.

This is our Soul’s Fire,

which never burns out.

It is not of this earth,

but it is for this earth.

By leaving the battlefield

we enter the Living Field

and we align with the Force,

which created

this entire Universe.

Putting down our “weapons”

in the face of opposition

might seem like madness to our minds,

but it’s sanity to our Souls.

This is not martyrdom

or about purposefully putting ourselves

in dangerous situations.

This is also not about bypassing the human reality

because we believe in or understand the Divine Reality.

Becoming fully human

requires holding

both realities

together.

We See the Bigger Picture

and we dedicate ourselves

to the smaller scene.

We sit down and pray

and we stand up and act

not just nonviolently,

but also Lovingly,

not only toward our neighbor,

but also toward our enemy.

This is what my mother did.

Although she was hit hard,

she Loved harder.

Her husband died for Love,

but she stayed here,

right in the thick of it,

and Lived for Love.

Living as she did after the crucifixion

is possibly an even greater teaching

than my father’s.

This is what made my parents a Power Couple.

My parents demonstrated

that no matter what happens

to us, others, or this planet,

We. Can. Still. Choose. Love.

And, when we do,

even if it appears

like the opposite,

Life Wins.

Nothing is lost,

and

Everything gains.

We stay Whole.

And, we sustain

the Whole.

However, there is a “catch:”

Organic Change Takes Time.

We might not see the results

of our brave actions right away.

We might even feel like

we have been beaten or buried.

But what we have actually done

is leave a trail of True Love

for others to follow

in their own footsteps,

and

we have made a deposit of courage

in the earthly account

for others to withdraw from,

and

we have widened

the pathway Home,

here.

Little by little,

lifetime by lifetime,

we stretch ourselves

and this planet open

so more and more

Love pours in.

[heart beat]

I take a deep breath and square up with The Church,

which dominates far more than just one religion.

“I have fought you for eons

in both the earthly and the cosmic realms,

and it has done neither of us, or this planet, any good.

It has kept us locked together

and kept Love locked out.

Initially, as a Divine Soul, I wanted to ‘play the game’

and have the experience of fighting against you.

And I’ve needed opposition and so-called enemies

in order to learn and grow as a human soul.

But now I’m ready to try something different.

I’m ready to join my Parents

and stop fighting against

and start standing for

Life as Love.”

I feel all my fighting energy

that has fueled me

for two thousand years,

and I allow it to

build,

and Build,

and BUILD

and then,

I OPEN MY HEART.