Preface

When the title of my book Sex for One was announced at my forty-fifth high school reunion in Wichita, Kansas, most people thought it was about sex for one at a time. In New York City, when I tell my friends the title of my next book is Orgasms for Two, they break out into a big grin and ask if I’m going to write Orgasms for Three or More. The answer is no, but now that I’m a senior citizen living with a young man, I am considering writing a book titled Orgasms for Oldsters: Too Sexy for Their Rockers.

After three decades of teaching women about orgasm through the practice of masturbation, I never envisioned writing a book about sex for couples. By the time I reached forty, I knew romantic love was a myth, relationships and marriages didn’t last for me, and life wasn’t fair. In spite of my vow to never fall in love or live with another man or woman again, my prized independence dissolved in 1999 when Eric Wilkinson moved in with me. After thirty years of living alone and enjoying the life of a bisexual bachelor, I was inspired by this young man to revisit heterosexuality. Only this time around I have the unique perspective of a financially and sexually empowered wise woman.

Sex for One was the result of the orgasmic sex I shared with my first postmarital lover, Grant Taylor. During the first year of our affair, in 1965, we discussed the important role that masturbation had played in our respective lives before we met. Once we included masturbation in our sexual repertoire, we also discovered that it enhanced partner sex. Since then we have continued our ongoing dialogue about the politics of masturbation. Today he is my trusted friend and brilliant Webmaster of www.bettydodson.com.

Orgasms for Two is a continuation of my erotic journey, sharing a positive message about how masturbation can liberate partner sex between gay male, lesbian, bisexual, and gender-blended couples. Because women are the ones who buy the most sex books, I offer a word of caution: This is not a book about how to get a man, how to keep him, or how to get rid of him or kill him after the relationship is over. I have no idea how to sustain hot monogamy or a passionate marriage. My personal record with both is dismal.

However, I do believe couples can be more realistic and down-to-earth by letting go of those sickly romantic expectations that drive us toward inevitable disappointments, insane jealousies, and murderous rages. After more than thirty years of teaching, I’ve got some practical ideas about how to improve sexual skills so men and women can share mutual orgasms. It is my firm belief that enjoying more sexual pleasure with ourselves as well as each other will make us all a little bit nicer, less violent, and more creative.