I pulled into the drive and groaned when I saw Joshua's car parked out front.
This was not how I was expecting this afternoon to go. I was looking forward to spending some time with Isaac, having him read to me. I thought maybe we could lay on the sofa together while he read those medical journals to me, and I'd tell him I was sorry for fighting, and he'd say he was sorry too, and we'd make out, make love and everything would be back to good.
But now Joshua was here, and Mrs Yeo…
I walked through the internal door, carrying Mr Tiddles in the box. Both dogs greeted me eagerly, then curiously, as they caught scent of the cat. I walked through the back sunroom toward the kitchen and the sound of Isaac laughing added weight to the lump in my throat.
I hadn't heard him laugh in days.
Isaac was sitting at the kitchen counter with Joshua and turned to the sound of my approaching. "You're earlier today," he said cheerfully. "Did Mrs Yeo run out of green tea?"
I set the box down on the floor, against the wall out of the way. Joshua looked at me, and his smile died. I must have looked exactly how I felt.
"Carter is everything okay?" Isaac asked.
Just then, Mr Tiddles meowed from inside the box.
Isaac's face jolted to the sound. "What was that?"
I cleared my throat. "That's Mr Tiddles," I said quietly. "Isaac, Mrs Yeo passed away."
And as soon as I said the words out loud, the tears I'd been trying to hold back couldn't be stopped. I wiped my hands at my face. "I'm sorry," I said weakly. "I didn't mean to—"
Isaac pushed off his chair, and in three quick strides, had his arms around me, cutting me off mid-sentence. "Don't be sorry." His hands quickly sought my face and wiped away the tears. He put his forehead to mine and wrapped his arms around me again. "Don't apologize."
I buried my face into his neck and slid my hands around his back, and he held me while I cried.
Joshua's voice was quiet. "I'll get going."
I released my hold on Isaac, thinking he'd want to say goodbye, but he didn't. He pulled me in tighter. "Thanks, Josh. I'll speak to you tomorrow," was all Isaac said. And just like that, when I needed him most, he chose me.
I didn't wait for Joshua to leave. I just didn't care.
I fisted Isaac's shirt and held him as tight as he held me. I breathed in his scent, letting it invade my senses. "I've missed you," I murmured into his neck.
"I've missed you too."
His words bought on a fresh wave of tears. "Her nephew was there," I told him through my tears. "He was awful. He was just throwing her things away like her life meant nothing. I had to take the cat, Isaac, he was just going to let him starve."
"Shh, baby," he said soothingly. "It's okay." He leaned against the kitchen counter and pulled me against him.
After a long moment, I pulled back and taking some deep breaths, wiped my face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose it."
His hands held my face and his thumbs wiped my cheeks. "It hasn't been a good week, has it?"
I shook my head. "No."
He brushed his nose to mine and I could taste his breath on my tongue. He lifted his chin, ever so slightly, and kissed me, the softest of touches. He held his lips there, barely touching mine—for the sweetest moment, an almost kiss—then with his hands on my face, he pulled my lips to his. Open-mouthed and deep, warm and consuming; he kissed me.
His lips, his tongue, his taste. His hands, his body, his warmth. He owned me with his kiss. I pulled my mouth away to breathe, and then kissed him just how he'd kissed me. I wanted him. I needed him. I needed to be close, I needed to feel wanted, desired.
Loved.
Alive.
I held his face and our tongues met in his mouth. His hands were now on my back, holding me against him. His hands slid down to my ass, and he pulled me into him, grinding his erection against mine, making me groan.
"God, Carter," he moaned my name into my mouth.
With my hands still at his face, I pulled back and softly kissed his swollen lips. "Isaac…"
And then the cat meowed.
Isaac jumped at the noise. "Jesus."
We both chuckled, easing the sexual tension, the urgency between us. I took a small step back from him, though he kept his hands on my waist and after a few thought-collecting breaths, Isaac said, "Tell me what happened."
I told him how Mrs Yeo's nephew was abrupt and rude, very uncaring. "He didn't give a shit. He was just tossing everything away, as though everything in her house was an inconvenience to him." I shook my head. "That poor little old lady, Isaac. She had no one in her life that cared for her."
Isaac shook his head. "She had you. You didn't need to keep calling in to see her once her old cat died, but you did. And you'd stay while she made tea and ranted about how crazy the world was." He ran his hands up my sides to my face. "You lost a friend today, Carter."
I nodded, feeling the burn of more tears in my eyes. "Her nephew couldn't even remember which day she died, Friday or Saturday. He just didn't care."
"That's awful."
"And poor Mr Tiddles," I said. "He was so scared when I picked him up, and starving hungry. I put some food in the box with him. I'll set him up in the laundry for tonight and figure out what to do with him tomorrow."
Isaac nodded. "Okay."
I didn't move. I just stood there, against him, with my hands now resting on his collarbones, my fingers gently resting on his neck. I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to be not touching him.
Isaac smiled. "Today?"
"Yeah." I nodded and kissed him softly. "I just don't want to let you go."
His voice was quiet, but unwavering. "I'm not going anywhere."
He wasn't talking about right then, he meant he wasn't going anywhere from me. After the shitty week we'd had, after the fighting and the silence, he still wasn't going anywhere.
I took his face in my hands again and lifted his lips to mine. "I'm not going anywhere either."
The cat meowed again from inside the box, making Isaac jump again. He put his hands on my chest and pushed me away a little. "Yes, you are. Please do something with that cat before it gives me heart failure."
"Don't go anywhere," I said, pecking his lips again. "I won't be a second."
I picked up the box and gently put it down in the laundry. I set up a dish of the dried cat food I'd taken to Mrs Yeo's and one of water. I opened the box and lifted the cat out, keeping hold of him while I tipped the box on the side, threw in an old towel for a bed, and a makeshift litter box. I gave him a good cuddle, told him he didn't need to be scared, he wasn't alone anymore and then I put him to bed, closing the door behind me.
Isaac was still standing against the kitchen counter, though he'd taken his sunglasses off. He put his hand out, which I took immediately, and he lifted my hand to his face, leaning his cheek into the palm of my hand.
He didn't speak. He didn't have to.
He kissed the palm of my hand and sighed. His other hand sat on my hip and pulled me against him. Then he nuzzled his nose into my neck. The hand that was on my face, slid down my chest to wrap around my lower back. His fingers were digging into my skin and he was moving, subtly writhing against me. He trailed soft kisses along the skin at my neck, below my ear, my jaw.
Jesus.
He took my earlobe between his lips, then whispered breathily in my ear. "Carter?"
I knew what he was asking. I nodded. "Please."
I led him to the bedroom, where he took care of me, so gentle, so confident with my body. He touched every part of me, every inch of my skin was savored. His hands, his mouth, knew every part of me.
Then he made love to me.
He sat on the bed with his legs in front of him. I straddled him, facing him with my legs wrapped around him, taking him deep in my body. He held me while I rocked us, he kissed me softly, he told me he loved me.
I didn't realize just how disconnected I'd felt, how splintered and off-kilter I'd been this week, until he put me back together. Until he validated me. Until he set fire to my blood and held me while I unraveled in his arms.
I'd never felt so alive. So loved.
Later that night, after a bath for two, and an ordered-in dinner, we lay in bed. Isaac was resting his back against the headboard while I lay with my head on his chest. Using one hand to hold the papers and the other to read with, he somehow, rather awkwardly, started to read the Braille reports out loud to me.
I had every intention of listening, but the sound of his heartbeat and the deep rumble of his voice through his chest as he read, lulled me to sleep.
I took coffee in to him, while he was still in bed. "What's that for?" he asked rather sleepily.
"I thought we could try reading those reports this morning. I'm sorry I fell asleep last night."
He sat up and took the coffee cup. "What time is it?"
"It's early."
"Couldn't this wait until tonight?"
"Mark will be here tonight, remember? You and he were going to share your bed and kick me to the spare room?"
Isaac grinned as he sipped his coffee. "That's right. I forgot about that."
"Well, you two better not be serious about those sleeping arrangements," I said jokingly. Isaac and Mark always flirted with each other. My best friend would flirt with a rock if he thought it'd put out.
Isaac took another sip of the coffee and went to put it on the side table. I took it for him and set it down. "How are you feeling this morning?" he asked quietly.
"I'm okay. Still a little sad that Mrs Yeo's gone, but I'm just happy we're okay. Thank you for knowing what I needed last night."
"I needed that too."
I smiled, and leaned in, kissing his cheek. "Now, we've got about an hour. Did you want to start reading to me?"
"If you want."
"I want to be involved," I told him. "If it's something you want to investigate further, then I'll do it with you." Then I added, "I'll even try to be objective."
He smiled at my poor attempt to be funny. "Pass the reports over," he said. "They're on the dresser."
I was just finishing up in my office, and could hear the other staff laughing at the receptionist desk. I'd called a small meeting first thing this morning to tell my crew about Mrs Yeo, and it had been a rather somber morning. But something had amused Rani, Kate and Luke, my fourth year grad student. Correction. Not something, but someone. I smiled as I walked from my office to the waiting room.
"Hey!" Mark cried when he saw me. Grinning, he lifted his arms out wide and quickly crossed the room to embrace me. "I was just telling these guys stories about you from college."
I glanced over at my staff, who were all grinning. "He tells lies," I told them.
Mark guffawed. "And I hadn't even got to the part where you were dressed up as Ann Darrow, King Kong's buxom blond toy thing, and got arrested for solicitation."
"That wasn't me," I said quickly, then looking at my staff, I said it again. "That wasn't me." They laughed, so I turned back to Mark. "You were Ann Darrow, I was King Kong. You were picked up for solicitation. I just got dragged to the station in a gorilla suit."
Mark chuckled. "Oh, yeah."
I shook my head at him, thankful for the empty waiting room. "It might not have been a good idea to ask the policewoman if she was interested. Or the policeman."
"Yeah, she didn't have a sense of humor," he said with a frown. Then he looked at me, "But you made a great King Kong."
I turned back to my staff, who were still grinning at us. "See what I have to put up with?"
Mark slung one arm around my shoulder. "You love me."
"That's a matter of opinion."
He picked up his bag. "Shut up, and take me home."
"Have a great weekend, guys," I said to the three still standing at the receptionist desk. "I apologize if he offended you with any… propositions."
Mark pretended to be insulted. "I resemble that remark."
I rolled my eyes and Rani laughed. I groaned, "Don't encourage him."
Mark pouted. "Come on, let's go get Isaac. At least I know he loves me." He smiled at his audience and walked to the door. "And I'm sleeping in Isaac's bed tonight."
I pushed him out the door. "No you're not, and don't say things like that in front of my staff!"
"Why? Would they be jealous?"
"Mark!" I hissed at him. "They can hear you!" We were only a few feet from the door.
"Good," Mark said loudly. "Cause that Rani's a babe."
I sighed. "Sorry, Rani," I called out.
Rani stuck her head out the door and smiled. "Bye, Mark."
Mark stopped walking and beamed at her. "No," I said, grabbing his arm. "Not with anyone I work with." God, it was going to be a very trying weekend. I pushed him toward my Jeep. "Get in the car and shut up."
He laughed, threw his bag in the back of the Jeep and climbed in. Without the audience, he was much more subdued. "So, how's Isaac? More importantly, how's living together going?"
"It's good," I told him, as I pulled out into traffic. "Well, this last week has been less than stellar. We had a big fight…"
"What about?"
I considered not going into detail, but knew I couldn't keep any secrets from him. So I told him about Isaac's new-found desire to have his sight restored. I told him about what Isaac had read to me this morning, about the 'research' and medical journals.
"So what's the problem?" he asked.
I sighed. "I don't know, this Joshua's a slimebag and I just don't trust him. It just doesn't add up somehow."
"Like the saying goes, if it looks like bullshit and smells like bullshit…"
I laughed. "I don't think that's quite how the saying goes, but yes, exactly."
"But Isaac's not stupid."
"I know he's not," I said quickly. "But I think the possibility of seeing again is clouding his judgment."
Mark shrugged. "That's fair enough, isn't it?" he asked. "I mean, if it were you, wouldn't you try anything?"
I sighed and pulled into the parking lot at Isaac's work. "Please don't say anything to him. Don't let on you know anything unless he brings it up."
Mark nodded, then looked over to the front of the school and smiled. "There he is." Then he asked, "Who's that guy with him?"
"Ugh. That's Joshua. He's like a rash that won't go away."
Isaac started to walk toward the Jeep, whether just because he heard it or because Joshua told him, I wasn't sure. Mark got out and walked over to him before me, and mindful of Brady, threw his arms around him. "Here he is! My best friend's husband."
At first, I cringed at what he just said, but the look on Joshua's face was priceless and I couldn't help but smile.
"Oh, Mark," Isaac said, pulling out of Mark's hold. "And I thought I missed you."
I snorted. "He just traumatized my staff."
Isaac turned toward me and smiled kind of shyly. "Hey."
"Hey."
Mark rolled his eyes at us, but then held his hand out to Joshua. "Mark Gattison. Best friend extraordinaire of Carter and weekend bed-buddy of Isaac."
"Mark!" Isaac gasped. "Oh, Josh, I'm sorry. Mark has no filter."
"And no social skills," I added. I didn't correct Mark's comment about sleeping arrangements in front of Joshua. I hoped he wondered if it was true.
Joshua shook Mark's hand. "Nice to meet you." Then he looked at me. "Carter, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend yesterday. And I'm sorry if I imposed."
"It's fine," I told him.
Mark spun around to look at me. "What happened, Car?"
I gave him a weak smile. "I'll explain later. Let's go home, huh?"
Mark gave me a quizzical look. "Okay," he said, then sliding in between Isaac and Joshua, he took Isaac's hand and led him toward the Jeep.
I followed them, smiling. Isaac called over his shoulder, "Bye, Josh."
I turned so Joshua could see my smile. He was looking at the three of us a little stunned, I think. Then again, Mark managed to stun most people he met. Isaac opened the passenger door and dropped Brady's harness.
"You're in the back with Brady," I told Mark.
"Cool," he said, giving the dog a ruffle on the face. "You and me buddy, we get the backseat all to ourselves."
Isaac gave the command and Brady jumped into the backseat. Mark followed him and buckled the dog into the car harness. "Da-a-a-d," Mark whined. "Are we there yet?"
Isaac laughed as he did up his seatbelt. "It's going to be a long weekend, isn't it?"
I got in and shut my door. "Yep. It sure is."