Chapter 17

Kurt

It feels like it’s been a lifetime since I’ve seen Lisa. I miss her so dang much, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me. Figuring she was just going through a rough spell, I sent her a card a couple of weeks ago. No phone call, nothing. She doesn’t even come around the ranch anymore. I haven’t the slightest clue what I did wrong. Or what’s going on with her, for that matter. We were great together. We love each other, or at least, we loved each other. I’m starting to believe that she never really loved me. She told me she did, but then, less than twelve hours later, she broke up with me.

Women are confusing sometimes, you know, I’ve been out with some real strange ones, but none that put me through the wringer like Lisa has. I still love her, and I think part of me always will, but I’m not sure how healthy it is for me to keep hanging on. Don’t get me wrong, I have no interest in seeing anyone else, and it’ll kill me if I hear of or see her with another man, but if she doesn’t want me anymore, what’s a guy supposed to do?

She’s the sweetest, smartest, funnest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with. That’s why I fell in love with her. I sit here night and day just thinking about her. I miss her like nobody’s business. Grayson’s trying his hardest to keep me occupied, Laura too, but no matter what I do, I can’t keep my mind off Lisa. As I lay in bed, reading a book, I hear a knock at the door. “Yeah,”

“You decent?” It’s Grayson.

“Come in.”

He opens the door and closes it behind him.

“What are you doing up so late?” I ask, sitting up, putting a bookmark in the paperback.

“I was about to ask you the same thing. I saw your light on when I was taking a walk.”

“Why were you taking a walk at this time of night?”

“Ah, I couldn’t sleep.”

“Or were you just checking up on me.” I comment. “Making sure I’m not out here slitting my wrists or anything.”

“You’re funny.”

I scoff.

“It’s not okay to worry about my brother?” Grayson asks.

“No need to worry. I’m a big boy.”

“A big boy with a broken heart is like a little boy, Kurt.”

“Yeah, well. I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will. I just…wanted to see where you were at, that’s all.” He pats my leg. “You still thinking about her a lot?”

“Some.” I nod, lying. “I bet she isn’t thinking about me though.”

“Wha, you think she’s out traipsing around with some other guy, do ya?”

“Maybe.”

“Laura tells me that she isn’t.”

“Maybe she doesn’t tell Laura everything.”

“She does.”

I look at him, and suddenly my blood is boiling. My voice raises. “Oh yeah? If she tells Laura everything, then how come Laura doesn’t know why in hell the first woman that I ever loved like that…walked out on me? Huh?” my hand gestures out furiously. “No rhyme, no reason, no…nothing!” I rise, take a few steps and hit the wall. “Not a goddamn clue what happened. One night we were making love like we’d never made love before, the next morning it’s over.” I punch the wall, leaving a mark, but I don’t care. “I mean, what the hell, Grayson. I deserve better than that.”

“You’re right. You do.” Grayson agrees.

“Is that why you came all the way down here? To tell me I should get over it? Forget about her?” I’m almost yelling. I never yell. I’m a pretty level-headed guy even at the worst of times.

“I’m not telling you to do anything that you don’t want to do, Kurt.” He says levelly. “I’m just telling you that you deserve better than this.” A pause. “Young guy like you, sitting in here, reading a book, alone. You’ve spent every night in since she dumped you. It’s not healthy, man.”

“What do you suggest, Grayson?” I tip my chin at him. “I don’t want anyone else. She’s it, man. And now it’s over. I might as well pack my bags and go back on home to El Paso. Back to mama and the goddamn brothers who bust my chops and drive me nuts.”

“Least they get you out.” Grayson adds. “Maybe heading back is best for you.”

I rake a hand through my hair. “Maybe.”

He pats my leg again. “You think about it. Whatever you decide we’ll support you.”

“What about a Lead Hand?”

“You let us worry about that. You came here on a favor. We never expected you to stay forever, even though you’re welcome to all the same.”

He tips his hat at me as he walks out.

The thought of going back to El Paso doesn’t make me feel better. Truth is, I like it out here. I needed the change of scenery at any rate. But maybe to get as far away from Lisa as possible is best. Otherwise, I’m just going to drive myself crazy for who knows how long. I decide to sleep on it. By morning, things might look different.

 

***

Laura

“Did you talk to him?” I ask Grayson, as I hear him come into the bedroom. We’re both still up. Funny thing about pregnancy is that once the morning sickness dissolved, now I get terrible insomnia.

“Yeah,” Grayson says, taking off his clothes, getting ready for bed. “He finally let it all out, just like you said.”

“Good. Does he seem any better?”

“He’s thinking about going back to El Paso.”

She hesitates. “Well, maybe that’s for the best.”

“He said he’d think about it at any rate.”

Grayson snuggles in behind me, placing his hand on my belly. “Won’t be long now, darlin’, and we’ll be feeling that little one move in there.”

“I know. I can’ t wait.”

He kisses my shoulder as I yawn. “Finally tired, baby?”

“Yeah. I’ve got lots of work to do in the morning, too.”

“Have you interviewed anyone yet to help you out?”

“No, not yet.”

“Laura…” Grayson warns.

“I have an ad out. I’m just collecting resumes. I’ll start interviewing next week.” I insist.

“Alright.” Another kiss. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Goodnight.”

 

***

Grayson is home this morning, since he’s working a shift at the hospital tonight. I’m trying to wrap my head around a bunch of things, when I hear the front door open, and see Kurt’s head pop in. “You busy?” he asks.

“Come on in.” I say.

He tells me a couple of things that he’d like to do with the horse’s pasture. It’s starting to look a little dated, so I give him permission to move the horses temporarily. “Grayson’s home this morning, too. He can probably give you a hand.”

“Yeah, I saw him out there chewing the fat with Lloyd.”

I look at him. “Given any thought to whether or not you’re staying?”

He gives me a weak half-smile. “I figured that was your doing. Laura, I don’t know. Half of me wants to get as far away from here as possible, but the other half says hell no. Especially with a little niece or nephew coming my way soon.”

“Maybe wait it out a little longer. See what happens.” I advise. “You got to do what’s right for you, Kurt. Not what’s right for me or Grayson, or…anyone.”

I see Lisa’s car pull up out front, and it shocks me. Kurt sees the look on my face. “Unexpected visitor?” he asks, and the tone tells me that he knows exactly who it is.

“Yeah.” I look at him. “You can sneak out the back if you want.”

He sighs. “I’m a big boy, Laura. I can handle it.”

I can see from the window that Lisa is on a call. “She’ll be a minute, anyway. She’s on the phone.”

“Okay.” He tips his hat and walks out the front door. He doesn’t even look Lisa’s way. I shake my head.

Rising, I meet her on the porch. “Hey, stranger.” I say, thinking that maybe things are looking up. She hasn’t come around the ranch in a while. She’s carrying a gift bag. It’s all fancy with crinkled paper and a silk cord for a handle. “What’s this?”

“A gift for the baby.” She says, smiling. “I saw it in a store window the other day, and I just couldn’t resist.”

I open the bag and it’s a baby blanket. Quilted. Looks antique, like someone’s grandmother made it like fifty years ago. Kept well though, maybe in a cedar chest. “Oh, Lisa, it’s gorgeous! Where did you find it?”

“Antique store. I was walking along the waterfront with my parents the other day. Saw it there. I thought maybe you could hang it on the wall, like a tapestry.”

“Thank you.” I kiss her cheek. “Come on in.”

“Well, you’re sprouting like a healthy mama there, I must say.” Lisa comments.

“Well, I must be. I can’t fit into any of my old clothes anymore.” We sit in the study.

“How’s things around here?”

“Good. Busy.” I answer. “Grayson’s home this morning, helping the boys out. They’re going to put up a new fence around the pasture. Kurt’s got a great idea for something rustic but modern, just my taste.” I say, lifting the blanket.

“I saw…Kurt. He was just in here.”

“Yeah,” I nod. “He’s thinking about heading…back to El Paso.” I volunteer, gauging the reaction.

She smiles tightly. “He needs to do what’s right for him.”

“That’s exactly what I said.”

A strange look crosses her face. “Be right back. Nature calls.”

“Alright.” I say, taking another pass at the journal entry I was working on before she arrived. A minute later, Lloyd comes into the house. He takes his hat off and scrubs his sweaty hair with his hand. “Me and Simon are heading up to the hardware store. Can we get the keys to the van and the credit card? Just picking up some nuts and bolts for the barn. A couple of them came loose over time. Haven’t checked there in a while, I admit.”

“Sure, Lloyd.” I say, fishing the keys off the hanger on the wall. The credit card is kept in a locked drawer in my desk. I fish the key off my keyring and unlock it. After I hand him the card, he tips his hat in thanks and heads out the door. The breeze wafting in from the open windows is so nice. I can hear Kurt and Grayson outside with the horses. Those two are such a pair. I hate to admit it, but it’ll suit them both well if Kurt stays here.

I thought about offering Kurt a raise, so he can get his own place if he wants. Even buy him a house. The Kelsey family has always had a decent sum of money, and I’d do that for my new brother-in-law. He’s worth it. Maybe being holed up in his quarters isn’t doing him any favors. Simon and Lloyd don’t seem to mind, but they’re like brothers, those two. Johnnie is older, so he welcomes the company, seeing as he doesn’t have a wife, and his kids are gone back to Dallas with their mother, to go to school.

As my mind wanders, I realize that I completely forgot about Lisa. Thinking maybe she snuck out the back or is in the kitchen fixing herself something, I rise. Lisa’s like a goddamn cat. Half the time I don’t hear her wherever she is. I once invited her to stay the night, and I didn’t hear a peep out of her the whole time. Didn’t know where she was until I found her in the kitchen fixing breakfast.

Heading straight for the kitchen, I don’t see her there. I can hear Grayson and Kurt laughing at something one of the horses did, and it makes me smile. “Lisa?” I call out. The bathroom door is closed, but that isn’t unusual. We always leave it closed. I knock on it. “Lisa? You fall in?” No answer. There is no lock on this door. Never bothered to have one, since the door is always closed, and everyone knows to knock first.

Turning the knob, I see that the light is on. “Lisa?”

The powder room has large floor space, kind of like one of those handicapped washrooms you see in restaurants. It’s your typical powder room, with a porcelain sink, modern metal fixtures, and a black melamine countertop that spans the entire back wall, which is on your left when you open the door. The towel bar and toilet paper dispenser are also black to match the counter. The toilet is white and has one of those fancy graduated flushing systems, with a chrome button on the back of the tank. The floor is white linoleum, and the drapes on the window are black and white checkered. Lisa’s always poked fun at me for making this bathroom the only area that looks nothing like the rest of the house. But the only reason why I made it so simple was for ease of cleaning. This is the washroom that the boys use when they come in for meals.

The first thing my eyes go to is the large red pool of blood on the floor, and Lisa’s body laying in the middle of it.

A large gasp comes from my throat as I scream as loud as I possibly can. “Graaaayyyyysooonnnnn!!!!!”

 

***

Kurt

Trixie is butting her head up against my shoulder. “Traitor.” Grayson says, and we both laugh. “You know, she’s just getting us brothers confused is all. She loves me more.”

“Jealous of a horse?” I snuffle. “You’ve sunk to an all new low, Grayson.” I say. When Trixie whinnies, getting a little something on us both, we laugh out loud.

A few seconds later, we both hear it. The most blood-curdling scream, coming from the house. It sounds like Laura’s voice, like someone’s trying to murder her one limb at a time. “Graaaayyyyssoonnn!!”

Neither of us hesitates. We both take off into the house like we’ve just heard a bomb blast from behind us. “Laura?” Grayson shouts, looking for her.

“Grayson!” she screams again.

She’s in the bathroom, kneeling beside Lisa’s head. In a pool of blood. Lisa’s blood. Laura’s face is covered in tears as she places her ear on Lisa’s chest, checking for a heartbeat.

Johnnie, having heard the commotion, comes running in behind us. “What in the hell’s going on? Laura okay?”

He sees the pool of blood. “Call nine-one-nine.” I tell him.

Grayson is on the floor, checking Lisa’s pulse. “She’s still alive.”

“She didn’t slit her wrists.” Laura says, confident, seemingly like she checked that first.

I’m standing there, and I see where the blood is coming from. “Jesus Christ, Grayson.” I stammer, walking over to Lisa. My hands are shaking with terror, my voice is shaky. “She’s hemorrhaging.”

Her shorts are soaked with blood, all the way down her legs. There are ribbons of red flowing from her hind end.

“Get her on her back.” Grayson says. “Elevate her legs. It’ll help slow down the flow.”

I can hear Johnnie on the phone with emergency services. He nods and hangs up. “The dispatcher says that there’s someone in the area. Should be here any minute.”

Laura looks at Grayson. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she’s barely hanging on by a thread emotionally. “This is a lot of blood, Grayson.”

He scratches his nose, leaving a smear of blood. “Yeah, I know, darlin’. It doesn’t look good.”

My eyes dart to Grayson. I feel like my stomach falls to my toes. “Is she going to make it?”

“Depending on how fast we can get her to the hospital.” He says, and just as he says that, we can hear sirens. “I don’t know where the blood is coming from. With this amount of blood, it’s got to be her uterus or her colon. We need to get her to the hospital to find out. She’ll most definitely need a transfusion.”

Laura whimpers. “This woman is the sister I never had, Grayson.”

“Now, let’s keep our heads on straight, Laura.” He chides gently.

The paramedics come in, and Johnnie steps out of the way.

Laura gives them the lowdown as they place little booties on their feet for protection from the blood. In a practiced motion, they swiftly place her on the gurney, and the two of us hop into Grayson’s pickup truck, following the ambulance to the hospital. Laura goes with Lisa in the ambulance. Grayson reaches into the back of the cab, pulling out a bunch of Wet Wipes, so we can at least try not to look like we’ve just participated in a massacre before going to the hospital.

My mind is racing. Was Lisa sick this whole time? Is that why she didn’t want to get serious with me? It can’t be. Lisa would at least tell Laura if that were true. “What do you think it is?”

“Dunno. If it’s her colon, it could be a tumor. If it’s her uterus, it could also be a tumor, but it can be a multitude of other things if it’s in her uterus. I don’t know her medical history, Kurt. Right now it’s just speculation. She’s not bloated, so it’s not internal bleeding from an accident.”

“And how quickly can she get a transfusion?”

“Far as I know they’ve got a decent supply of blood at the hospital. Unless there was some big accident or sudden need since I was there last. Only been a couple of days. They should be able to give her some right away.”

“Do they have to wait to diagnose her first?”

“No, they can get started after they determine her blood type. Should be able to look that up if the ambulance attendants haven’t done so already. Depending on if her doctor has been up to date with his records, we should be able to get a handle on this pretty fast.”

We pull into Grayson’s spot at the hospital, and I follow him inside, since he obviously knows way more about this place than I do. Feeling slightly calmer now that I know she’s at the hospital, I wait. The waiting room is deader than a doornail, which is a good sign. Laura is standing by the door, on her cell phone. I assume that she’s calling Lisa’s parents. When she hangs up, Grayson looks at Laura. “You want me to go in there, or do you want me to stay out here for moral support?”

“I want Lisa to live, Grayson.” She says with heartfelt conviction.

“Alright, baby.” He kisses her temple. “I’ll see what I can do to help.”

He walks into the back area and disappears.

Laura looks at me and I look at her. Her little belly protrudes from under her shirt. She looks so cute I can’t help but let a little ghost of a smile come. Her arms wrap around my middle, and we both stand there for a minute, hugging like a sister and brother. “How are you holding up?” she says after a beat.

“So long as she’s okay, I’m okay.”

“Sometimes we don’t realize how much a person means to us until their health is on the line.”

“That’s definitely true.” I kiss her head, rubbing her back. She pulls away from me. “Well, let’s go sit down and…well, pray, I guess. That’s about the only thing we can do at this point.”

We sit down in the waiting room together. It seems like hours before we see a couple come to the front door, looking distraught. Laura rises. “That’s Lisa’s parents.”

Laura introduces me quickly and moves on to the business at hand. “Grayson’s in there with her. We don’t know anything yet.”

Earl, Lisa’s dad, says, “Maybe we ought to go in there with her. Her doctor’s all the way in goddamn Dallas, and he’s a quack to boot.”

Mary, Lisa’s mom, interjects. “We’ve been telling her to steer clear of him for years, why, we just told her so the other day.”

“Grayson says that they should have access to her medical files if the doctor’s kept them up properly.” Laura responds.

“Hopefully, after this, she’ll smarten up.” Earl says.

A moment later, Grayson appears. We all look at him expectantly.

Laura says to Earl and Mary. “This is Grayson, my husband. Err…Dr. Thomas.”

He’s wearing his white medical smock, with his identification clipped to the left breast pocket. “The blood is coming from her uterus.” Grayson explains. “Looks like a massive fibroid, but it’s so massive, that the specialist has to go in first. The scan just shows a mass, but it’s benign, so that’s a good sign.”

We’re all seemingly holding our breath, letting him finish.

“If it’s a fibroid, it can be drained and removed, hopefully without having to do a hysterectomy. She’s being given a unit of blood, but there’s massive blood loss. She’s not out of the woods yet. Her red cell count is so low, she has to be given the transfusion to stabilize her before going into surgery.”

“Fibroids can cause that much blood loss?” Earl says, confused.

Grayson nods. “Yes. It could be sitting on an artery. Could have torn from the uterine wall. The surgeon won’t know until he gets in there.”

Mary’s hands are on her face. Her eyes are wet with tears. “Grayson, we’ve already lost one child, son.” She gasps. “Please don’t make us lose another one. She’s the only child we have left.”

Swallowing, Grayson nods. “I’ll do everything that I can.”

It’s heartbreaking watching her parents wince at the news of their only living daughter. I almost can’t watch.

It seems like hours later that Grayson finally emerges from the surgical area. Clint is with him as well, and he greets Lisa’s parents with a tight-lipped smile. “All hands on deck for our Lisa, huh, dear.” Earl says to Mary.

“How is she doing?” Earl asks.

Clint speaks first. “It was a fibroid. The surgeon removed it. It must have been there for several years. From the look of her file, the doctor didn’t even know about it. I’m not sure how she didn’t complain about it. She must have been in a world of pain.”

Earl gestures to Laura. “Like we were saying to Laura earlier, Lisa’s doctor is…very incompetent in our eyes. Looks like that rings true now.”

Clint squishes his nose at the comment, but declines to respond. “She’s still being given blood. Right now it’s the blood loss that we’re concerned about.”

“Is she out of surgery?” Mary asks.

“Yes.” Clint nods and then directs his gaze at Grayson, as though they rehearsed.

Grayson looks at his hands, and then directs his eyes first at Laura, then at her parents, and then at me. “It’s not that simple, I’m afraid.”

“What do you mean?” Mary asks.

Swallowing, Grayson nods, looking at Earl and Mary. “She’s slipped into a coma.”

My eyes are on the wall. I can’t look at anyone. The silence from shock is deafening.

“Oh, Lord.” Earl whispers, holding Mary close. She starts to sob into his chest.

“I’m sorry, Laura.” Grayson shakes his head. “There’s nothing more that we can do. She’s got to pull through it on her own.”

His eyes slide over to me. My face is impassive. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to do, and worst of all, I don’t know if I’m allowed to feel or do anything about it.