Chapter 44

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Somewhere going on toward dawn, Dynan gave up trying to sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking. The last seven years of his life played through his mind in fragmented pieces. It felt like he hadn’t ever gone anywhere. He wanted it all to be a dream that hadn’t happened. His father was alive. It wouldn’t be that hard to go back to the way it was before. Dynan still wasn’t convinced that letting the entire system know of this miracle wasn’t the best action to take. Far easier on everyone, he thought as he swung out of bed.

Alexia wouldn’t have her way for certain if his father was re-instated. If the people of Cobalt accepted dragons and wraiths, they wouldn’t have too much trouble accepting Ambrose Telaerin as their King.

Dynan already knew all the arguments against his father returning. It was against natural order, something they were trying to restore. He closed his eyes at the next thought. Restoring natural order meant that before he was crowned King, his father would have to die.

“What was that you were saying about accepting what time you were given?” he asked himself as he rubbed his eyes dry. “Fool that you are. In the words of Her Majesty, there is a price for everything.”

If the Gods were going to take Ambrose away again it would have been better if they’d not brought him back at all. He questioned how he could have any faith in Gods who’d allow it. He closed his eyes again, and tried not to think as he got dressed. It didn’t work. There were too many problems to sort through, too many overwhelming catastrophes to deal with, but of all his preoccupying thoughts, he kept seeing Loren as she walked out the front door.

Loren, Liselle, Bronwyn, Danetha, Alvuen, Alexia, even his little sister. He wondered what he’d done to deserve a house full of difficult women. He frowned then, absently pulling on his shirt. Danetha wasn’t exactly being difficult. Her reactions to the situation with Loren had been more conciliatory than anything else. But Alvuen wasn’t at all pleased that Neithia Bairing had been put in charge. Conflicting reactions that Dynan wasn’t sure what to think of.

The worst of it was yet to come. Of that, he felt certain. Somehow, he had to convince Loren to publicly apologize to Danetha, and at the same time, make her understand what was happening with Liselle, even when he wasn’t sure of that either. He rolled his eyes at himself and the situation.

“Somebody just shoot me now.”

He wouldn’t be able to talk to Loren, doubting Alexia would give him that much time. He considered sending her a message but didn’t completely trust the com system and a messenger was out of the question. They weren’t due back for another day, giving him a little time to find a solution.

Far more important in the overall scheme of things, however, was Marc’s fear that the Alcasians were on their way to Cobalt. Dynan picked up a comboard from his study as he walked through and started making notes. Avry woke at the sound, and quickly got up from the couch.

“Sorry,” Dynan said.

“For what, Your Highness?”

“Waking you. I didn’t know you were there.”

Avry shook his head. “Are you going somewhere?”

“My office.”

“If you’ll give me a minute, please, to alert your guard.”

Dynan nodded absently, returning to his lists. “Then you go back to sleep.”

“Yes, Your Highness. Thank you.”

He nodded again, staring down at the comboard, and glanced back to his desk when he remembered the books. The Book of Legends wasn’t there, but the Book of Truth was. He saw a scrap of paper stuck between the pages, smiling slightly when he read the note Ralion had left him, suggesting that Legends wasn’t something he should leave lying around. In that, he was right. If Alexia wanted proof of where he’d been, the Book of Legends would provide it. Dynan needed it now, which meant he needed something to put it in. He found that taken care of as well when he opened the vault. A leather satchel contained the book nicely and he put the Book of Truth in with it. He wished for a second that he could look at the Book of Ages again, back on Cadal, but then changed his mind. He remembered it clearly enough from the first time, and really, didn’t ever want to see that particular book again.

The trip down to the office was quiet, the only noise, the sound of the Guard coming to attention as he passed. The com office was quiet too, and the third rank duty tech was extremely surprised that Dynan was there at that hour, but managed to get out the requested report. Roland accompanied him back to the King’s office, checked it before letting him enter, then stationed himself by the open door to Marc’s office. The Throne Room door was closed and locked.

Dynan settled behind his father’s desk, and after a moment’s thought, turned to the companel and switched it on. He smiled at the responding beep, but that disappeared quickly when he brought up his schedule for the next two weeks. Allie Ahreld’s parents were arriving later that day to take their son to Arel to bury him. That meant Gaden would be gone for a few days as well. Governor Taldic’s funeral was scheduled for the next day. He wondered if Ambrose would be able to attend, perhaps in disguise or something. Dynan thought he’d want to, and thought to talk to Dain about making that happen.

Queen Marella was due to arrive the day after that, bringing all the thousands of Cobalt refugees with her. He flipped to a different screen, and found the procedures for that massive undertaking in place and well organized. That same evening there was a Palace Ball, his first since returning home, and also an event entirely planned by Loren. Considering what had just happened at the Governor’s Ball, Dynan was a little worried some other catastrophe would strike. At least this time, the Palace was in charge of security. He smiled while he read over the details, noting the meticulous care taken in all the plans. He wondered how Loren would react to him interfering with some of those plans, because he was going to without telling her about it. Part of it was meant to be a surprise to her. Another part involved a surprise for Dain in that he would be getting a very public acknowledgement for all that he had done to help bring them home. Dain would slot himself into the festivities in other ways. Dynan wouldn’t be fighting any mock duels with him this time, though he suspected Dain would entice a few guards into one. At least.

The next item on the agenda made his smile disappear. His first Approachment was in six days. The thought of leaving the Palace for even one day twisted a knot of fear in his stomach. He shook his head at the thought, and the days that would follow that public appearance, culminating in his coronation. He changed files again.

He looked over Queen Trayanna’s course from Suma. In order for her ship’s sensors to scan behind Malari for the Alcasians, she would have to slow, delaying her arrival by as much as two days. If the Alcasians were there, her ships might also be detected, which was too great a risk. Dynan didn’t know if he should say anything to Creal or Alexia, or even Drake. If he did, he would have to have proof that the Alcasians were coming and then avoid revealing how he had become suspicious about it. He couldn’t tell them it was because they’d destroyed Cadal a thousand years ago because of the adepts there, and now meant to do the same thing to Cobalt for the same reasons. He’d been taught all his life that the Alcasians were a brutal race, and found it impossible to believe that their intentions would be peaceful, despite Marc’s assurances to the contrary.

That Cobalt lacked the ability to protect itself was an undeniable fact. Dynan had to find out if they were coming, and in that case, what they were coming with. In a few short hours, he planned to tell Commander Morlin to find the best way to get that information. If it turned out to be true, Dynan doubted he’d have any choice but to inform Their Majesties, and that opened another door of opportunity for more demands.

There were more problems than he could contend with. He’d known all along that regaining the Throne would be difficult, but nothing had prepared him to face the catastrophes that kept blowing through the front door. He needed some sort of plan to combat them all, or he was going to lose. This time the stakes were far higher than just the Cobalt Throne.

He shook his head, wondering what plan there could be to conquer a demon. What could he do to save the weakening Gods? That thought almost made him laugh, except for the cold chill that centered in his chest. He didn’t want to believe that any of it was real. His father’s existence was proof enough. He couldn’t be denied. Concurrently, neither could the situation. Circumstances outside normal thinking reared up, smothering light and life. All Dynan had to stop it with was a very young, very reluctant adept. If that’s what Marc was any more. There were forces at work that were beyond understanding. Now they stared at him through the eyes of a dragon.

Dynan grumbled at himself a little. He couldn’t change most of the things he faced, but there were some that he could, or hoped he could. For the rest of the night, he went over what he had control of, and by morning had developed a satisfying list of actions to take.

He sent word to Commander Morlin first, despite that Marc didn’t want it. Dynan couldn’t justify not doing anything to find out if the Alcasians were coming or not. Next, he called Roland into his office. Dynan wasn’t sure how to approach him with what he wanted. Spying wasn’t something Palace Guards were asked to do. He didn’t think the guard would approve of such a suggestion. He couldn’t ask him either, without completely offending him, as well as break a few laws.

“You know that I’ve agreed to marry Princess Danetha, but don’t mean to honor that agreement,” he said finally. That Roland was well aware of that fact showed plainly on his face.

“All your personal guards are aware of it, Your Highness. None of us discuss it. We’ve been extremely careful—”

“I know that. I’m not worried that any of you would talk about it. You know what I’m trying to do though, with Alexia.”

“You want her to believe you.”

“Except I don’t think it’s working as completely as I need it to.”

Roland frowned slightly. “I’m not sure that she doesn’t believe you so much as she wants more in the way of a guarantee.”

“More than the gems provide?” he asked, smiling when the guard lowered his gaze. That he knew of the gems told Dynan a lot about the observational abilities of his guards.

“Queen Alexia can’t tell anyone about them, but public knowledge is the guarantee she seeks.”

“And she may get it. She’s very carefully maneuvering in that direction.”

“But isn’t that against your agreement?” Roland asked. “Rumors of your agreement are being voiced. I overheard several conversations at the Governor’s Ball to that effect.”

Dynan looked at him. “That’s what I wanted to find out, and I thought you might know. I need to know who.”

Roland told him, but the instigator wasn’t who he expected it to be. Lady Juleta Gurrell was the only person coming from the Palace that had been heard talking about it, and was only repeating what she had heard. “In each instance the rumor was put down as false, and actually laughed about as absurd.”

“You never saw Alvuen with any of these people?”

“No. I alerted the other guards to watch for that, but this was after I started hearing the rumors.”

Dynan saw that the guard was uncomfortable with some of his actions, wondering how he could broach the idea of spying, or if he even should. He needed someone he could trust to find out what Alexia was doing. “I need to ask a favor,” he said, then smiled at the guard’s surprise. “I can’t make this an order, Roland. It’s fairly unethical, and illegal too.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t ask. I think I know what you want. I’ll talk to the others.”

“Except none of you are assigned to the guest wing.”

“I know all the guards here. I know who I can trust. All they need know is that for security reasons, we need this information. That, in any case, is true. Besides, watching what they do isn’t any different from what they’re doing to us. Lady Alvuen in particular. I haven’t noticed anyone accuse her of spying.”

“No, not yet anyway. If she keeps getting in Marc’s way, he might end up having her for lunch. Except for having to explain it to Alexia, I almost wouldn’t mind.” When Roland looked uncomfortable again, Dynan shook his head. “He wouldn’t really.”

“The Lord Chancellor doesn’t seem to possess a great deal of control, Your Highness,” he said carefully.

“Afraid he might attack one of us? You needn’t be. He has more control now than he did even a few days ago.”

“It’s difficult to understand what’s happening with him.”

“You aren’t alone there. Harder to believe once you do understand, trust me. Marc isn’t going to do anything to hurt me, or Cobalt. I didn’t use to believe that, but I know it now. He saved my life again just last night. The best advice is to stay out of his way and do what he tells you.”

Roland nodded, but looked like he wanted to object. Dynan wasn’t going to elaborate more than that. Whatever Marc was becoming, he was still the Lord Chancellor and deserved the respect due that office. With that thought, he supposed he needed to start thinking of a replacement, then quickly banished the idea. He didn’t want to lose Marc, and knew that he was going to.

The chirp from the companel startled him, but the message made him reluctant to respond. A transport with Shalis and Loren on board was about to land out front. They had obviously decided to come back a day early after hearing about Marc. Dynan didn’t want to face either of them. He hadn’t had time to consider what he should say to Loren. He wasn’t sure how to tell Shalis about their father, but less about how Marc had managed it, and hold to the requirement that she remain unaware of his fate.

It was still dark outside, though dawn wasn’t far off. He noticed as he waited for the transport to land that it wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been. Winter was finally easing its grip. In the artificial brightness of the Palace lights, he saw a few perimeter guards notice him, and then they were looking up. A few minutes later, the transport was down and the door opened.

Shalis was the first off. She seemed uncertain of his reaction to her early arrival, but he smiled down at her, conveying with a nod that he understood why. Loren hardly looked at him at all. An unexpected flash of anger crossed his face. He knew what she had seen with Liselle, and the confrontation with Danetha hadn’t helped the situation, but he hadn’t expected her to still be angry about it.

Shalis blinked at his sudden change of mood as she reached the top of the stairs. He wasn’t watching her though. “I need to see you both in my office.”

Again, Shalis was surprised by his tone. Loren seemed to tense. Dynan followed them inside, afraid that trying to talk to her right now was probably not a good idea. He saw Alvuen coming down the stairs, and could guess that Alexia must have realized who was in the transport. She wasn’t wasting any time.

When he closed his office door, Shalis turned to him. “Is Marc—”

He held up his hand and stopped her. “Alvuen is on her way down here with a message from Alexia.” He turned to Loren. “The Queen is expecting an apology from you and—”

“An apology?” she said, instantly angry. “I’m not apologizing to her. If anyone should, it—”

“I told her that you would when you got back, and that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Tonight, at dinner.”

“Danetha didn’t have any business—”

“Danetha saved us both from making a mistake. Bronwyn attending a ball with Dain is one thing. Bronwyn being put in any position of responsibility here is another.”

“How can you even think such a thing? Because she has a son and everyone knows that she and Dain have been together? How horribly improper of her.”

“Loren—”

“I am not apologizing to Alexia, or anyone else, Dynan.”

“If you hadn’t lost your temper it wouldn’t be necessary. It is now. Your continued involvement with the coronation hinges on it. I don’t—”

“Then I guess you’ll have to find someone else to manage it for you, but then, since you already have, that isn’t such a problem for you.”

She turned for the door, but Dynan stopped her. “I don’t care if you don’t like it. By your public tirade, you embarrassed Danetha, a Princess and a guest in my home. I’ll expect you at dinner tonight.”

She pulled in a sharp breath at the order, but didn’t respond, pushing past him instead. With her departure, his anger evaporated, only to be replaced with cold dread. Again, he found himself wanting to go after her.

“Sometimes, you can be so stupid,” Shalis said. “Don’t you realize how neatly planned all that was? You should have stuck by Bronwyn and taken the responsibility for any objections yourself. Now all you’ve done is make it clear to everyone that you don’t think she belongs here. Loren knew there might be a problem, but because you allowed Bronwyn to attend the ball she thought you would stand by her decision.”

“Well, she was wrong,” he said, and suddenly felt that was exactly what he should have done.

“It seems to me, Loren isn’t the one who needs to apologize.”

“Shalis, when I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it. Sit down. I have something to tell you.”

“No. I don’t think I will. You can order everyone else around without any kind of thought to what you’re saying, but you aren’t going to do that with me. You aren’t King yet, and judging by the way you’ve been acting, you won’t ever be, crown or no.”

He stared after her as she walked out, not so much angered by her words as stunned by them. He let her go, thinking that someone else could tell her about their father, unless she found out by seeing him first. He shook his head, knowing he really couldn’t do that, rolled his eyes at the mess and went after her. She hadn’t gone far, and he was surprised to find that Marc was there. He heard Shalis apologizing to him for the way she had treated him at the ball, but she turned sharply at the sound of the door opening.

“What do you want?”

“I need to talk to you,” he said as evenly as he could manage. “That’s what I want. Would you come back in here? Please?”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I’m mad at you right now, so I’d rather stay here and talk to Marc.”

“You and everyone else. It won’t wait.”

She was about to protest again when Marc cut her off. “This is important and something you’ll want to know about. He’s awake, by the way, and wants to know if you’ll join him for breakfast.”

“Really? Yes, I’d like that.”

“Who’s awake?”

“Well, if you’d come in and sit down I could tell you.”

Marc stopped her again. “Give your brother a break, Shalis, and do this.”

The flash of anger in her eyes was unmistakable, but Marc met it easily enough. He dealt with all their tempers better than anyone he’d ever known, a fact Dynan was extremely grateful of just then. “Oh all right.”

She walked into the office again and he wanted to ask Marc to come in too, but he didn’t offer. Dynan suspected he wanted to avoid a long discussion about it all. “I doubt we’ll be long. She’ll want to see him, so if you want to join us for food, you’re welcome to.”

“I will. Oh, and I got rid of Alvuen for you.”

“Permanently? Or just for a few minutes?”

“Alexia wants to see you.” Marc shook his head, but he tried not to smile.

“I knew that. Thanks.”

“Alvuen and Bronwyn just had a little run in on the stairs. I don’t know what about.”

Dynan stared at him and clamped his mouth shut. “What is it with the women in this place? Have they all lost their minds at the same time?”

“Seems that way,” Marc said, struggling to not laugh.

“You might not think it’s so funny if you were the one dealing with them. That can be arranged you know.”

“Not in my job description, sorry.”

“That can be arranged too.”

“I’m waiting, Dynan,” Shalis called back.

He growled under his breath and heard Marc laughing again as he closed the door.

Dain jerked awake, half-sitting up before the nightmare’s vision faded and he knew where he was again. There were tears in his eyes before he could stop them. Nothing was right. Everything around him spun out of control. He couldn’t change any of it. He couldn’t fight off the fear any more, except if he didn’t, it would come in and swallow him, breaking his mind into so much dust.

He kept seeing himself stabbing Dynan, over and over. Black coils of death attaching themselves to his skin. His father reaching to take him. He couldn’t escape when all he wanted to do was run, as far and as fast as he could. And somewhere inside a gnawing hunger existed where it hadn’t before he’d taken his brother, growing in its desire for more. It didn’t help that he’d gone through this with Marc. The perspective didn’t change what he felt burning through him. It only sickened him.

He dimly heard a soft knock at the door, and knew it was Marc. That he understood what Dain felt only made it worse. That Marc meant to offer him relief only made him disgusted. “Shalis is back,” he said quietly. “She’s in with your father. He wants to know if you’ll join them for breakfast.”

“No.”

“You’ll get your appetite back soon enough.”

“Just leave me alone, Marc.”

He smiled and sat at the end of the bed. “Where have I heard that before? You know, you were right about learning how to manage this, Dain. You gave me the time. Do the same for yourself.”

“I think you better leave,” he said, afraid of what he desperately wanted to do.

“So you can see how long you can fight it off? It won’t work. You and I already know the end result.”

“But it’s Maralt and it’s...it’s—”

“The cell. I know. I think that’s where you start. Maralt started there for certain and he never gave it up or conquered it. I did, and that means you can too.”

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know this would happen.”

“But it has, and you have to live with it. You did what you had to do to save your son. He’d be dead now, or worse. You can’t fight this either. The only way around it is acceptance.”

“I don’t want to accept it.”

“Once you do, once that happens, you will get around it, and you can learn how to get what you have to have by just breathing. So, when ever you’re ready...”

He shook his head, really wishing Marc would go away. “You’ve got Maralt. What if I can’t stop?”

“You will. You can’t hurt me. You’ll know when to stop, just like I did.”

He wanted to deny it, but everything Marc said made sense and he understood it. He was still terrified and he didn’t want to accept what he’d suddenly turned into.

“If it will help any, I don’t think it will take you long. We’ve learned a lot about this. You have that foreknowledge on your side. I just have one favor to ask though. Do you think you can manage to avoid the cell?”

Dain frowned at him. “Well, no kidding. You’re one to talk, considering you never managed to avoid it.”

“As long as you don’t have the same problem. Really we don’t have to go anywhere except I didn’t think you’d want to do this here.” He patted the bed.

“Shut up.”

He laughed instead. “You think I don’t know what it feels like? What are you worried about? That this will somehow make you less of a man? You? Being the animal that you are in this particular regard, you might feel it a little more intensely than I did. I still get the same thing, you know. When I’m around you and especially Dynan for some reason, there are times when all I want to do is grab him, but I don’t and neither will you.”

“You still feel it? I thought—”

“It’s not exactly the same, but it’s there. It doesn’t make me so uncomfortable that I can’t live with myself. Maybe that’s only because I’ve got uglier problems to deal with right now and makes this aspect of it pale in comparison. It isn’t going to be easy, Dain, but it isn’t going to be endless either. Look, I know how hard it is for you to control this, and we both know that it’s better to just get it over with. I hated you sometimes for being so insistent about it too, but I’m getting hungry. Pick a spot and let’s get on with it.”

Dain shook his head, even though he knew it was going to happen, just as he knew he would lose control and likely do something he would never be able to face.