TUESDAY, MAY 2

“SOPHIE! SOPHIE!” AN ANNOYING nurse is shouting in my ear.

I open my eyes. Mom is sitting next to me. Wow, I was really out of it. Quite pleasant, that anesthetic. I hold my gaze on my mother until she comes back into focus. Suddenly I see her as she was two years ago. Her hair is gathered up into a messy bun, like it was then. She seems younger, less worried, and more herself. She’s beautiful.

“How are you feeling?” asks the nurse.

“Like I want to sleep some more.”

“That’s fine. No pain?”

“No.” I push myself upright and look for my bump. No more bump. Welcome to my body, strange dent. “Where did it go?”

The nurse brings out my port-a-cath. I’ve never seen it before. It looks different than I had imagined; plastic and white, not as sci-fi as I had imagined. I could have gotten it removed a little earlier but didn’t feel any rush. Too sentimental.

“Can I keep it?”