CHAPTER 4

ate the next afternoon, everybody in the family was gathered in the living room, except for Jacob Two-Two’s mother, who was busy, as usual, preparing a delicious dinner for them.

Jacob Two-Two’s father was lying on the sofa, also as usual, reading the latest spy novel by John le Carré. Suddenly he set down his book, and called out in a loud voice, “WHO IS MY FAVORITE CHILD?”

Daniel immediately hid behind the curtains.

Noah made for the nearest closet.

Emma dove behind the sofa.

Marfa slid under the coffee table.

And Jacob Two-Two crawled under a chair.

“I am burdened with five kids,” their father said, “four of them ungrateful, lazy beyond compare, each one capable of eating through a basket of peaches in an hour, ordering the most expensive dish on the menu if I take them out to dinner, always forgetting to give me my phone messages, and – the worst offense of all – failing to laugh at my jokes. However, my four stinkers aside, I am also blessed with one child who is totally lovable. Obliging. Respectful. Eager to help at all times. But who is it? Where is it? Hmmmn. Let me see. Isn’t that a pair of feet I see sticking out from under a chair?”

Oh, no, thought Jacob Two-Two, not me this time. But it was too late. He was being dragged out of his hiding place.

“Ah, there you are,” said his father. “My favorite child.”

Jacob Two-Two groaned. “What do I have to do, Daddy?”

“Wash my car, you lucky devil.”

Now that it was safe, the other kids emerged from their hiding places, and poor Jacob Two-Two trudged out of the living room. Then he filled a bucket with soapy water, lugged it out to the driveway, and began to wash the car. He had only been at it for five minutes when he noticed somebody approaching the house next door. The person was struggling along on high-heeled shoes, carrying a handbag, wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat with a cluster of cloth flowers pinned to it, and a floral dress.

“Hiya there, Mr. Dinglebat,” said a delighted Jacob Two-Two. “Hiya there.”

“Darn it,” said Mr. Dinglebat, stamping his foot. “I thought this disguise was perfect. How did you recognize me?”

“But I’d recognize you anywhere,” said Jacob Two-Two. “I’ve been looking out for you ever since you moved in last Monday, and I’m really, really glad to see you again.”

“Why thank you, dear boy, merci beaucoup, gracias, because I’ve had many a narrow scrape since we first met.”

“Gosh,” said Jacob Two-Two. “Gosh.”

“I was kicked by a horse in Thunder Bay and saw the dawn come up like thunder in Kicking Horse Pass. One day out there in the wilds, I was obliged to dine on porcupine in the Peace River country, but I found peace at last in the Porcupine Hills. And now, amigo, I must get some shut-eye.”

The amazing Mr. Dinglebat reached into his hand bag, pulled out a bottle and popped its cork, which inflated a huge air balloon. Holding on tightly to its drawstring, he floated up to his second-floor window, paused, and called down to Jacob Two-Two. “On second thought, once you’ve finished washing your father’s car, why don’t you visit me in my new abode? I will show you some souvenirs of my many triumphs and teach you a thing or two about spycraft.”

Jacob Two-Two, going about his work with newfound enthusiasm, was done in a jiffy, and then hurried over to Mr. Dinglebat’s house. There he was shown a number of fantastic things, things he couldn’t wait to get home and tell his sisters and brothers about. And just before he left, not wanting to be late for dinner, Mr. Dinglebat slipped him an envelope marked:

TOP SECRET
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

“I should warn you,” he whispered, “that the letter inside is written in mirror code. That means you will only be able to make sense out of it by holding it up to a mirror. I enjoyed your visit.”

“Me, too,” said Jacob Two-Two. “Me, too.”

“Come again, soon.”

“Yes, please!”