CHAPTER 25

hen the school lunch-bell rang at noon the following Monday, the boys of Privilege House dragged themselves unwillingly, their footsteps heavy, into the dining hall. Imagine their surprise when they found they were being served king-size hot dogs, chili burgers garnished with crisp, golden-brown French fries, and, chocolate ice cream for dessert.

“W-w-would anybody c-c-care for second helpings?” asked a mournful Perfectly Loathsome Leo Louse.

“I do believe,” said Jacob Two-Two, “that Mickey would like another chili burger.”

“Do you realize how much that costs a pound?” demanded Perfectly Loathsome Leo.

“What did you say?” asked Jacob Two-Two.

“Coming right up,” said Perfectly Loathsome Leo.

Mr. I.M. Greedyguts sat in a corner gulping down a teacup full of potato-peel soup. “Finished,” he said, holding up his cup. “May I have more, please?”

“No,” said Chris.

“Pretty please?”

“No,” said Robby.

“But I’m starving!”

Mickey reached for an eyedropper and squeezed eight more drops into Mr. I.M. Greedyguts’ cup

“Don’t I get anything else?” asked Mr. I.M. Greedyguts.

“Sure,” said Robby, fetching him a plate on which there rested one soggy French-fried potato.

“I’m still hungry,” whined the no-longer-dreaded Mr. I.M. Greedyguts. “Have a heart, kids.”

Miss Lapointe brought him a mushy, brown lettuce salad.

“What about a dessert?” asked Mr. I.M. Greedyguts.

Jacob Two-Two served him two rock-hard, stale raisins and a glass of lukewarm water.

“But what do you say before you dig in?” cried the boys in unison.

“Oh, don’t make me do it, please,” he begged.

“We want to hear it loud and clear,” cried the boys.

“Yummy, yummy, says my tummy,” said I.M. Greedyguts.

Then a trembling Perfectly Loathsome Leo Louse asked Jacob Two-Two what the boys wanted for lunch the next day.

“We’ll start with ice cream,” said Chris.

“Followed by matzo-ball soup,” said Mickey.

“And lots more ice cream,” said Robby.

“I hope you’ve written that all down, Perfectly Loathsome Leo,” said Jacob Two-Two.

“I’m a ruined man,” said Perfectly Loathsome Leo.

Then the boys called out, “THREE CHEERS FOR JACOB TWO-TWO!”

“AND CHILD POWER,” yelled Jacob Two-Two. “AND MR. DINGLEBAT, MASTER SPY!”

“HIP-HIP HOORAY!”

An elated Jacob Two-Two got home from school that afternoon just in time to see a helicopter land on Mr. Dinglebat’s front lawn, and to catch Mr. Dinglebat emerging from his house, wearing an admiral’s uniform and carrying a suitcase.

“Are you off on another mission so soon?” asked Jacob Two-Two.

“Why, before we meet again, amigo, I will have sipped sweet water in Sunset Beach, California, and watched the sun set in Sweet Water, Alabama. A master spy’s work is never done. Now, you tell your associates in CHILD POWER how much I look forward to working with them again. And, of course, with you, too, Jacob Two-Two, if not today or tomorrow, then before too long, I hope. See you anon, dear boy.”

“Come home safely, Mr. Dinglebat,” said Jacob Two-Two. “Come home safely, please.”

And he stood there, waving, until the helicopter was no more than a dot in the sky.