NINETEEN

Fiore, Aloysius, and I sat in the living room, soft classical music playing on the stereo, coffee cups in our hands. It had taken a while to get the children to settle down enough to go to bed. Lucia had been yawning through most of dinner, but the children were too excited about their new surroundings to care about their mother’s exhaustion. Thankfully, due to their excitement about being in the luxurious apartment, they had momentarily forgotten to ask questions about their father. That would probably come tomorrow.

“I know you’re worried about Christian, and I am too. He’s been gone too long. But I don’t understand what you mean by he’s gone. Gone as in…?” Fiore cut herself off.

“I’m not sure exactly how to explain it,” I admitted.

“Please, try, Lily.” Aloysius’s eyes softened as he looked at me with concern, the same concern Aaron often showed.

My coffee cup clanked against the glass coffee table as I set it down, wrapping my arms around my knees.

“I feel like I did when Ian left me. Not at first, of course. It took a long time for me to stop feeling Ian at all. I think the feeling decreased as Ian got further and further away, geographically I mean.” Did I even just make any sense?

Fiore looked at Aloysius and then back at me. “I’m not sure we follow you? What feeling exactly?”

“It’s an emptiness, an emptiness so complete I feel like I was hollowed out. Even when Christian and I were not in the same room, or even in the same building or city, I always felt him. His mind or soul or whatever, felt like it was intertwined with mine. I felt him when we came back from Chiclayo, for a while, and then suddenly, he was gone.” I looked away so they couldn’t see the red spilling down my cheeks.

Aloysius stood and came to kneel in front of me. He unwrapped my arms and took both my hands in his. “Do you think he’s…?” He turned to Fiore but she looked away. “Dead?”

“What? No!” I yanked my hands free. “How could you say that?”

“We’re just trying to figure out what you’re feeling.”

“I don’t really know how to explain it. You know the connection between a maker and a vampire. When Ian died, even though it was at my hands, it was as if part of my soul had just been yanked out of my body, however momentary that had been,” I explained, hoping that made more sense.

“I know what you mean,” Aloysius stood and went back to his seat next to Fiore.

“What?” I asked, pulling a tissue out of the box on the end table.

Aloysius’s eyes widened and I could swear I saw his pupils dilate. He looked away before continuing. “I mean, I understand what you’re saying.” He reached for Fiore’s hand, cradling it on his lap.

“I don’t know what happened to Christian but I know he’s alive.” At least I hoped with all my might that I was right.

“You know, Lily, I don’t think this is likely, knowing how much Christian loves you and all but,” She looked at Aloysius as if asking his permission to continue. He nodded. “It is possible for a vampire to mentally renounce his maker.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Not that I believe he would do that, at least not by choice, but it is possible. A vampire can renounce the connection, the feelings, and the loyalty he feels to his maker. As long as it’s what he truly wants and he truly believes in it, it can be done.” She bit her bottom lip, most likely nervous I would lose my temper. Instead, I sat quiet for a moment, letting the information sink in.

Aloysius sat as if he were a statue, barely blinking, his chest and shoulders still. Fiore fidgeted, playing with the flaring sleeves of her sweater, crossing and uncrossing her legs.

“No,” I said and stood, taking another tissue out of the box and rubbing my cheeks almost raw with it. “I don’t believe that. He would never do that to me. I’m going to look for him.” I turned and went to the door, slamming it behind me.

“Good evening, Miss Lily,” Pepe greeted as he tried to run past me to open the front door before I could reach it. “Will you be needing a taxi?”

“No, Pepe, thank you,” I smiled at him as he held the door open. There was no need to scare him. He was just doing his job. “Oh, by the way, did you see my husband leave?”

“Yes. I was already on duty both times,” he answered.

“What do you mean, both times?”

“He left and did not want a taxi. He walked that way, I think,” Pepe pointed up the street to the left. “He was gone for about…I don’t know…a half of an hour and then he came back.”

“Was he alone when he came back?”

“Yes, Miss Lily. I thought it was strange because he did not take the elevator. He went up the stairs instead. He was only up there for a few minutes and when he came back, he hailed a taxi himself, even though I could have done it for him.”

“I see. Thank you, Pepe.” I left him standing on the sidewalk as I crossed the street and walked to the left. No, I really didn’t see. I didn’t get it at all. Why would he leave, return and leave again so quickly, and then leave again in a taxi? And how did Fiore and Aloysius not know he had come home and then left again? I decided that didn’t matter right now. Looking for Christian was all I wanted to do, whether or not I felt him anymore did not matter one bit.

My legs pumped as though they moved of their own free will. I had no idea where I was going or why. Christian didn’t want to be found. He renounced me and I had no idea why. I had no idea what I was looking for. He’d been gone for hours, could be anywhere by now. Regardless, I kept running until I was in sight of the park. I slowed my pace so as not to scare anyone.

“Lily, wait up,” someone yelled from behind me. My stomach did a somersault until I realized it was not Christian’s voice. I stopped and spun on my heels.

“Mateo, what are you doing here?” He stopped just two feet in front of me, his sunken eyes focused on my face. His breathing came fast and ragged, as if he had run for miles.

“What are you doing here? Where is Christian?” He bent over slightly, his hand pinching his side.

“Christian is gone. I’m looking for him.”

“What do you mean gone?” He straightened, catching his breath just a bit.

“I mean gone, as in disappeared, left, renounced me as his maker and wife, I guess.” The bitterness in my voice surprised him and he took a sharp breath.

“That’s impossible,” he reached for my hand and led me to an empty bench. “Sorry, I need to sit for a minute. I’ve been running behind you since you left the apartment.”

“It’s not impossible, apparently. He must have done it because I don’t feel him at all.” I bit back the tears by clenching my lips. Anger was more useful to me than tears.

“That man loved you more than anything in this world. That was easy to see,” he squeezed my hand. “Something must have happened.”

“Something like what? He left. Just left. There was nothing we couldn’t accomplish together. Why do this now?” I yanked my hand out of his and stood. Sitting here was just wasting precious time I didn’t have.

Mateo stood with me but said nothing. He had no ideas, no answers. It wasn’t until that moment that I noticed how bad he looked. My anger had consumed me so much that I had paid no attention to his appearance.

“Mariana hasn’t returned, has she?” I turned to face him. He swayed in the breeze. If the wind gusted, he would be blown over.

“No. But that’s not important right now. We have two people to find. Come on, I’ll help you look for Christian.” He nodded toward the road leading to the beach. I started walking that way with Mateo by my side.

“It is important. You look like you’re going to fall over any minute. You won’t be much help to anybody this way,” I hoped that didn’t sound like blame.

“I know I need to exchange blood soon, but I’m ok for now. I ate a huge dinner. That should hold me over for a while,” he quickened his pace. “I know when I need to think I go down to the beach. It’s such a solitary and tranquil place at night. Maybe he went there.”

“Why were you following me, anyway?” I asked as we walked down the cobblestone street.

“I was on my way to your apartment and I saw you.”

“Do you have something on Jose Luis?” It was the first time I thought about him since Christian disappeared. Guilt rose like a lump in my throat.

“We did receive a few calls since the segment aired on the news, but nothing promising. One guy said he has him and wants money for him, a million dollars, in fact,” he laughed. “The guy sounded like he was in his nineties and lives in Puno, or so he says.”

I had to laugh at that one too. “And the other calls?”

“One spoke a language we couldn’t identify though we did record the call. The interpreters finally deduced it was nothing but made-up gibberish. The last caller hung up as soon as we started asking personal questions about him. We do know one thing for sure though,” he stopped walking.

“What?” I swallowed the lump.

“There were no signs of a struggle at all in his room. The only prints there match his and the nurses taking care of him for the last day or so of his stay.”

“So he did leave on his own?”

“Lily, all the signs point in that direction but I’m still not one hundred percent convinced. The chief wants to halt the investigation.” He searched my face.

“What? That’s ridiculous. He’ll die if we don’t find him. What part of that do they not understand?” My fingernails dug into my palms.

“I didn’t say I was giving up. I still want to help. We will keep looking for him. I promise. But…” He took a couple steps backward, away from me.

“But what? How can there possibly be a ‘but’ in this situation?” I yelled.

“To find Jose Luis, we are going to need to focus all our energy and resources on him. We can’t do that if we’re looking for Christian too.”

I stepped toward him and grabbed a fistful of his tee-shirt. His eyes widened with fear. “Have you lost your mind? Stop looking for my husband? Never!”

“Lily, please calm down and… Could you please put me down?” his eyes, though wide, looked somewhat amused. When I looked down, I realized his feet were about seven inches from the ground.

“Oh, sorry,” I lowered my arms and he touched the ground, but I didn’t let go of his shirt. “I can’t stop looking for my husband. Something happened to him. He didn’t do this on his own. I’m sure of it.” My anger changed to despair and the tears let loose. His eyes widened even more and all the color in his face drained. I let go of his shirt and turned away, trying not to scare him. “I can’t lose him too.”

“I know how much you love him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t want to be found right now. Jose Luis needs you. He’s more urgent right now. He’s sick, remember?”

I struggled to hear the question, his voice trailing off. I turned just in time to see him stagger backward and fall against a tree, holding his arm out to steady himself but missing the trunk. He fell flat on his back.

“Mateo!” I ran to his side and dropped onto my knees. “Mateo, are you okay?”

“I…” He tried to lift his head but couldn’t. “The whole world is spinning. I need…” His eyes closed and his head rolled to the side.