4

 

Nila squeezed her eyes shut when she felt the first tug of the scissors.

“Are you OK?” Misty whispered in her ear.

“Y-yes. I just can’t watch.”

“You’re not changing your mind, are you?”

“No. Please keep going. I’ll look when it’s done.”

“Fine.”

Nila concentrated on each swipe of the scissors. She felt her shoulders tighten, and a headache began to throb at the base of her neck.

“Where do you work?” Misty asked.

Nila’s shoulders relaxed. She smiled but kept her eyes closed. “I work with a couple of great guys in construction. We do everything from decks to full house remodels. I get to use power tools and make design decisions. It’s the best job ever.”

“I’m surprised. You’re so petite. I never would have pictured you as a carpenter. You must be stronger than you look. And pretty fearless.”

She kept her head still by sheer willpower. No, she wasn’t fearless. Couldn’t Misty see that she was shaking under the cape? She had more fears than she could handle. Even about this. What if getting her hair cut was a mistake? What if she looked terrible with short hair?

After what seemed like hours, Nila felt several brushstrokes and a quick blast from a blow dryer. The stylist fluffed Nila’s hair. A gentle tug, and then nothing. How short was it? Nila swallowed hard.

“All right, open your eyes,” Misty said.

The plastic cape fell away from Nila’s shoulders, and the salon noise seemed muted. Hands clasped tightly together, she took a deep breath and opened her eyes. “Oh,” was all she could say. Staring back at her in the mirror was a slender woman with a cute pixie cut, high cheekbones, and huge brown eyes.

“What do you think? Do you like it? It is a big change.” The hairstylist flicked a stray hair from Nila’s neck.

The wide mouth in the mirror twitched upward. Nila turned first to Lydia, and then to Misty. “I love it.”

“I do, too.”

“You look beautiful,” Lydia and Misty responded at the same time.

She swung around to face Lydia. “Do you really think it’s all right?” She reached up and tugged a lock. “I’ve never worn my hair this short. Not that I can remember, anyway.”

Misty brushed a stray hair off Nila’s neck. “It’s more than all right. You look fantastic. It accentuates your facial structure and your gorgeous eyes.”

Nila blushed. “Thank you for saying that and for fitting me in today. I probably would have chickened out if I’d had to wait.”

She turned back to the mirror, lifting her chin as she turned her head and admired her new look. She really liked the hairstyle. Her head felt much lighter. So did her heart. Nick would never let her cut her hair, but he wasn’t going to control her anymore. Not now, not ever again. She wasn’t the weakling she used to be.

 

****

 

“Hunky Unky! Hunky Unky!” Jessica’s joyous greeting brought a grin to Will’s face as he entered Faith and Jason’s eastside home. Before he had a chance to shrug out of his down parka, the two-year-old grabbed his legs. He wobbled at the impact, and snow from his coat plunked onto her blonde head.

“Eew, brr.” But she didn’t let go.

“Hey, Jessie, let me get my coat and boots off, OK? Then I’ll pick you up.”

She just grinned up at him like an impish cherub.

“Jessica, let go of your uncle. At least let him get all the way into the house before you attack him.” Faith plucked her daughter off Will’s legs with one arm while shutting the door behind her brother.

“Welcome to chaos, bro. Pizza will be here in a few minutes, so your timing is perfect. Did you get everything moved?”

“Yeah, I got all my stuff over to Daniel’s…um, my house. But it’s a mess. It’ll take a while to get it all sorted out. So thanks for the invite, in spite of the nickname you taught your daughter.”

“Hey, she came up with that herself. She can’t pronounce her L’s yet, and unky Wew didn’t sound good, so I merely made a suggestion.”

“And she ran with it. Right.”

Will hung his coat up and turned just as Jessica lunged at him from Faith’s arms.

“All right, you little monkey, now I can play with you. Where’s your baby brother?”

Loud banging from the kitchen answered that question.

Faith answered. “That sounds like a demand for more food. Bring your little leech into the kitchen. You can tell me about your move while I finish shovelling food into Tommy.”

“Hey, buddy.” Will patted the baby’s downy head as he walked around the table and was rewarded by a baby-food enhanced grin.

As soon as he’d lowered himself into the chair, Jessica unwound her arms from his neck, slid off his lap, and ran to the baskets tucked under the bay window seat.

“Ponies!”

“You’re in for it now,” Faith said with a smile. “Better fire up your imagination. Sometimes they’re superheroes; the next minute they’re mommies and daddies. This will be good practice for you.” She winked. “For someday.”

She wiped a stray blob of food from Tommy’s cheek. “Before I forget, are we still on to decorate Mom’s house next week? I know her old fake tree is in the basement, but maybe we could get them a real one. That would fill the house with Christmas-y smells. But you’d have to water it every day.”

Just then, a loud thump came from the direction of the stairs.

Faith grimaced and called, “Are you all right, honey?”

Jason limped into the room, rubbing his hip. “I hate that carpet on the stairs. Slipped again. One of these days someone’s really going to get hurt.”

After dinner, while Jason tucked two sleepy children into bed, Will helped Faith tidy the kitchen.

Faith closed the dishwasher and leaned against the counter. “Would you like coffee? I could make some.”

“Naw, that’s fine. You look tired, and I’m pretty wiped, too. I should take off. I appreciate the meal, though.”

A wail from upstairs interrupted, and Jason chuckled as he descended the stairs. “Jess won’t let me read tonight’s Bible story. She wants her Hunky Unky.”

Exhaustion made room for sweet pleasure, and Will headed up the stairs. “She knows I can’t turn her down. I’ll get out of your hair once my sweetheart is tucked in.”

Faith’s voice followed him. “Hey, little brother, how’s it feel to be wrapped around a two-year-old’s finger?”

Warmth that had nothing to do with room temperature washed over him.

Pretty special. Made him think about little ones of his own. He paused on the top step. He’d just pictured a little girl with his blond curls—and Nila’s eyes.

 

****

 

“Well, well, well. Who’s this lovely Christmas angel come to grace our humble abode?”

Nila walked into Pastor Dave’s embrace and returned the hug. “Do you like it? Really?”

He held her at arms’ length and lowered his bushy brows. “Absolutely. You, my dear, are beautiful. You’re finally letting your beauty shine, and that’s a very welcome change.” He folded her to his chest again.

Nila felt grateful tears dampen his sweater vest. “Thank you,” she whispered.

After a moment, she pulled out of his hug. “I’ll be right back up and help with dinner. I just have to put some packages away.”

Lydia had followed her into the house, and now she patted Nila’s shoulder. “Take your time, honey. I have an easy meal planned, just soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. You can set the table if you’d like.”

Nila nodded and carried her treasures downstairs to her low-ceilinged room. When she walked past the mirror over her dresser, she startled, backed up, and studied her reflection.

It would take a while to get used to the new look. But she’d needed a change, and this was a good one. Like Pastor Dave said.

He was one of few men she trusted. In fact, when she imagined what Father God looked like, he strongly resembled Dave: tall and bulky, with bushy eyebrows, thinning grey hair that tended to stick out at all angles—thanks to his habit of rubbing his head while deep in thought, and a booming voice that comforted rather than threatened.

As she did every day, she closed her eyes and thanked God for Dave and Lydia. For letting her live with them, and for safety and room to grow independent. Without fear.

A vision of hate-filled eyes disrupted her prayer, and she shuddered.

“Please don’t let anything—or anyone—take that away.”

 

****

 

After supper, Dave lit the gas fireplace in the living room and settled himself beside Lydia on the couch. Nila sat across from them in the mission-style rocker, its gentle movement soothing her. She loved this time of the day, the warmth in this home.

As usual, Dave spoke first. “How was your day?” He looked from Lydia to Nila. “I assume the hunt went well, judging from the number of bags you carried in.”

“We had a wonderful time, didn’t we?” Lydia looked at Nila.

Nila managed a smile. “Yes, we did. I found gifts for everyone.”

“Well,” Dave said, “While you two were out and about, I got a phone call from our younger daughter. Looks like Lily and her family will be able to come here for Christmas after all.”

Lydia beamed. “That’s wonderful. I have to admit I was feeling rather sorry for myself when all the kids said they were going to the in-laws this year. What changed?”

“Turns out her in-laws got a last-minute invitation to spend the holidays in Cancun. So we’ll have some little ones here. I knew you’d be pleased.” He put his arm around his wife and pulled her close.

Lydia snuggled into her husband’s side. “I’m so happy. I can’t wait to see Garrett and Gracie—and Parker and Lily, too, of course. When are they arriving?”

“The kids get out of school on the twenty-first, so they’ll leave Winnipeg the next day. Lily said they’ll try to make it in one day, but of course it depends on the weather.”

Nila pulled her knees to her chest, remembering the previous Christmas. All four offspring, along with their spouses and children, had spent Christmas with Dave and Lydia. Thankfully, she’d been able to take on extra shifts at the convenience store where she’d worked, including Christmas Day.

Fifteen strangers, even loved ones of Dave and Lydia, were too much for her back then. All the bedrooms were full, and at night, the basement floor was covered by sleeping bags. Nila had to maneuver around them to get to her bedroom or bathroom.

Lydia seemed to read her thoughts as their gazes met. “Four extras will be easier to deal with than fifteen, won’t they, dear? Last Christmas was wonderful for us, but I know our big, noisy family overwhelmed you. Especially after what you’d been through.” Her warm gaze was like a caress. “I hope this year you’ll feel able to join our celebrations.”

Nila remembered Lily, quiet and calm like her mother. She looked like her, too, with shiny dark hair, exotic eyes, and a quick smile. Gracie was an exquisite little doll, full of bubbly enthusiasm, while her older brother usually had his nose in a book. Lily’s husband, Parker, had been reserved but friendly. Yes, this year would be a lot easier.

Then she remembered this morning’s phone call, and her face must have shown her distress.

“I promise the kids won’t bother you too much,” Lydia said. “And if you don’t feel up to joining us, we’ll understand.”

No, they wouldn’t. Not really. Because she couldn’t tell them her horrible news. She couldn’t wreck their Christmas.

“I look forward to it,” she said with a forced smile. “It will be nice to get to know Lily and her family better.”

“Well, that’s good,” Dave said. “Now let’s see what God has for us this evening.” He pulled his well-worn Bible off the coffee table and opened it.

Nila tucked her legs under her in the rocker and clasped her hands in her lap. She needed a word from God. She needed to know He would watch over her.

“This is the last day of the Advent week of preparation,” Pastor Dave said, “and as you know, forgiveness is a major factor in preparing for Christ’s coming. Today I’ve been thinking about what we call the Lord’s Prayer, especially this part.” He found the page and read, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”

Dave looked at Nila, compassion and other-worldly wisdom in his eyes. Then he lowered his gaze once more. “Jesus continues with a difficult warning. ‘For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.’ This is our reading for tonight.”

He closed the Bible and bowed his head.

Nila’s hand shook as she covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, but I’d like to go to bed now. I think I might be getting sick after all.”

Guilt made her wobble as she got up from the chair, and she kept her eyes on the floor as she walked out of the room. Forgive Nick? She couldn’t do that. No, not even for God. Not now, not ever.

Before she reached the basement door, she heard Lydia’s whisper to Dave. “We need to pray. Something is troubling our girl.”