22

 

Will stomped the snow off his boots as he climbed the steps. He pushed the doorbell and stomped again as he waited. His armload of flattened boxes started to slip. He shifted awkwardly and caught one against his side.

The door opened and Nila stood there. Her smile widened into laughter. “Need some help?” She reached for the wayward box.

“Yeah, thanks.” He stepped inside and dropped the boxes. “There’s more in the truck, but this was as many as I could handle.”

She raised one eyebrow.

He chuckled. “Well, maybe one more than I could.”

Her laughter bubbled out, and it reminded Will of a mountain brook. He could listen to that all day. His eyes met Nila’s, and the light in hers drew him like a honey bee to a flower. He leaned toward her.

“Hey, Will. Good to see you.” Dave’s booming voice halted his action.

He felt his face warm as he stuck out his hand. “Hi, Pastor Dave. Um, I brought some boxes.”

Dave chuckled. “I see that.” His laughter ended in a sigh as he wrapped an arm around Nila’s shoulders. “Looks like it’s time for this old papa to let go again.”

Nila patted Dave’s arm, turned to Will, and picked up several of the boxes. “If you’ll help me take these downstairs, I’ll tell you all about it.”

A few minutes later Will struggled to keep his attention on Nila’s words. The light in her eyes kept distracting him, as did her smiling mouth. Her full, tantalizing lips.

“…And then the kitten chased the big dog out of the yard, and all the children cheered.”

“What?” Will frowned as his mind replayed that last part. “Huh?”

She laughed. “That’s what I thought. When did I lose you?”

He reached out and stroked her cheek with one finger. “You didn’t lose me, Nila. And you never will.”

She blushed and ducked her head.

Heat flooded his own face, and he stepped back and folded his arms across his chest. “Sorry. Sort of.” He lowered his head to meet her eyes and grinned at the crooked smile on her face. “So what was that last bit before your mouth distracted me?”

She put her hand in front of her mouth, but her eyes danced. “I just asked if you understood. This might seem sudden, but it’s been my plan all along. You know, to be independent.”

His hands wanted to touch her, to pull her close. He gripped his crossed arms and leaned back. “I worry about your safety.”

“I know, and that’s sweet of you.” She shifted to face him squarely, and a little line appeared between her eyebrows. “But I’ve depended on people to make me feel safe, when only God can really protect me.” She clasped her hands as though in prayer. “I have to live on my own. From foster homes to homelessness and then to Nick’s, I’ve never had a home of my own. This comes close, and I love Dave and Lydia, but I need to be self-sufficient. Do you understand?”

Will studied her for a moment. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I do.”

He looked over her head as he remembered. “When I ran away as a teen, I thought I could take care of myself, but I was wrong. I finally figured out I was trying to escape myself. My own stupidity messed things up. But not you. You’ve suffered because of others. For too long.” Her wide, glowing gaze gave him permission to pull her into his arms. “I was afraid you’d go back to Nick. And then when he got out of prison, I thought his hold on you might destroy you.”

“He tried,” she whispered. “And he almost succeeded. He manipulated me so easily.” She lifted her chin. “But Jesus saved me for freedom, not bondage. I want to live in His freedom. I can almost taste it.”

Those smiling lips tempted him to taste them, but this wasn’t the time.

Will looked at his watch. “Jason and Faith are expecting us in three hours. Did you want to move some stuff today?”

Nila stepped away, and he missed her warmth. “Maybe we could take the boxes in the closet over there. They’re already packed.”

Will followed Nila into her bedroom. He enjoyed the view as she walked across the room, and when she stopped in front of the closet, he nearly stepped on her.

“Oops. Sorry about that.”

She put her hands on her hips and scowled, but her lips twitched upwards. “Watch it, buddy.”

He grinned and tweaked her nose. “I was watching—and enjoying it.”

Nila shook her head at him and opened the closet door. “See, these are my treasures. Store sales and garage sales—I’ve made pretty good use of them. I have almost everything I need for my own home.”

The pride on her face did something strange to his heart. “You mean you didn’t bring anything from Nick’s? You had to buy all this?”

She nodded, lashes lowered. “I didn’t dare take any of his stuff. I didn’t want any reminders, anyway.” She shrugged. “So whenever I can, I buy something. It’s like building my dream, one box at a time. ”She touched a box labeled Garage Sale Mugs. “And now that dream is coming true.”

She lifted her face to his, and he clenched his fists. But they moved to her shoulders without his permission, and he pulled her pliant body against his. He rested his chin on top of her head, breathing in her scent of summer flowers.“Nila,” he whispered. “I…”

She pulled her head back and looked into his eyes. Her dark-lashed brown eyes widened, and he tensed, afraid she’d pull away.

But her hands cupped his face and drew it closer to her own. He barely breathed as her lips touched his. Their sweetness pulled a groan from deep inside him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her as he pressed his mouth against hers. Time slowed as all his senses intensified.

Summer flowers, honey, and tantalizing warmth. She felt like sunshine personified.

Then her hands went to his chest, and she pushed gently while stepping back. “I—I’m sorry, Will. This isn’t the time.” She looked at her bed. “Or the place.”

He needed a moment to catch his breath. He wiped one arm across his eyes and leaned against the wall. “You’re right, of course.” He drew in a deep, ragged breath but didn’t look at her. “Just give me a minute. Or two.”

 

****

 

Christmas lights outlined the roofline and sparkled against the night sky when Will parked outside Nila’s new place.

“Nice. Looks like you’ve got good-sized windows. Too bad it gets dark so early. And that sidewalk to the back looks like it might be icy.”

“I’ll go turn on the lights.” Nila already had the door open. “I’ll be right back.”

Will watched to make sure she made it around the corner without slipping. He wondered if she was slipping away from him. He pushed away that depressing thought and grabbed two of the larger packed boxes. He reached the corner of the house.

She met him almost at a run. “Just go down the stairs. I propped the door open. Thanks.” By then she was back at the truck pulling boxes toward her.

Will smiled at her excited energy. This was an early Christmas gift—a big one, and he was happy for her. Really. He entered the basement suite and carefully set down his load. It didn’t take long to see the whole place, but it seemed to have all the necessities other than the missing closet doors. He started back up the stairs and met Nila halfway. He couldn’t see her face behind the boxes, so she couldn’t see him, either. “Want some help?”

She stopped, and he heard a sigh. “Yes, thank you. My arm just reminded me that it’s still pretty sore. If you’d take the top one, I can manage the rest.”

“Sure thing. Gotta save some strength for those two munchkins, you know.”

He grabbed the top boxes, and Nila’s face reappeared.

Lines around her mouth signaled the extent of her pain.

His gut tightened. “What if I bring in the rest of the boxes, and you can start figuring out where everything goes.”

She looked as if she would argue. But then her mouth softened, and she nodded. “OK. Thanks.”

He followed her down the last few stairs.

She set down her load and gazed around the apartment. Her face brightened, and she sighed. “I can’t believe this is really mine.” She stretched up on tiptoes and brushed Will’s cheek with her lips. “Isn’t God good?”

Will rubbed his cheek, half-expecting his fingers to feel the tingle, too. “Yeah,” he said. “He is.”

He stepped back, but her gaze held his. Time slowed. He touched her lips with his finger, and she closed her eyes. The exposed watch on his wrist caught his eye. He groaned. “It’s getting late.”

Nila’s eyes opened, and she stepped back. “Yes. The kids.”

“Later. We have to talk later.” Will spun around and took the stairs two at a time.

 

****

 

Nila picked at the tape on the box marked Cutlery and frowned. Why hadn’t she brought a knife? The ones she’d packed were useless if she couldn’t get to them.

Will was clomping back down.

She got a corner of tape loose. She ripped it off, opened the box, and dug through crumpled newspapers. “Got it.” With a flourish, she held up a paring knife.

Will came through the door. He set the boxes down and held up his hands. “I surrender!”

Nila laughed. “You goof. I forgot to bring a box cutter, but I found this knife.” She pulled out a mesh tray and an unopened box of cutlery. She ripped it open and picked up a spoon. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so long. I love this calla lily design, don’t you?” She handed the spoon to Will.

“It’s pretty. Very elegant. Suits you.”

He took a step closer to her, and the light in his eyes sent a shiver through Nila. But he stopped, closed his eyes briefly, and turned back toward the door. “I’d better get the rest of those boxes.”

The apartment felt empty without him. She shook her head and turned her attention back to her treasures. As Nila dug into the next box, uneasiness wormed its way into her thoughts. She knew this home was an answer to her prayers, and she was thankful. But now she wanted more.

She wanted Will, and that scared her. Her lips quivered as she relived their few, sweet kisses. When he took her in his arms, she forgot about her need for independence.

Nila nibbled her lip. She had to be careful. Look what happened when she’d depended on Nick. Her heart began to pound, triggering a painful pulse in her arm. She winced. But Will was nothing like Nick. He would never beat her. She knew that. Then again, he was awfully protective. Maybe too much? Was she rushing into another mistake? Would Will expect her to give up her freedom after she’d gone through so much to achieve it? Or could he be patient, give her some time to enjoy her solitude?

Her thoughts churned as she tore open box after box. Soon the floor was littered with cardboard and packaging.

Will’s footsteps announced his return. “Sorry that took so long. I met Kendra on the way out.” He set down his armful. “I didn’t realize she and Carson were your landlords. Now I feel better.”

Her head jerked up, and she spoke without thinking. “Don’t you think I can take care of myself?”

Will blinked and backed up. “What’s wrong with watching out for you? I care about you.”

Irritation melted into shame. “I’m so sorry, Will. I didn’t mean to snap at you. You’re important to me, too. Very. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I hope…” She turned away from him. “It just feels like everything is moving too fast.” Nila bit her lip. That hadn’t come out the way she’d intended.

 

****

 

Will blinked. Nila’s words couldn’t have hurt him more if they’d come with a slap. For a second he’d seen Vixen, not Nila. He clenched his jaw and ground out, “Fine. Sorry for pushing you. And for caring so much.” He turned toward the stairs. “I’ll get the rest of your stuff.”

“Will.” She spoke his name like a caress.

It stopped him in his tracks, but he didn’t turn around. “What?”

“Please look at me.”

He shrugged and faced her, frowning. The moisture in her eyes nearly undid him. He looked out the window.

She sighed, a deep, shuddering breath. “I really do care about you. Maybe too much.”

His heart beat faster.

“I just need some time. Can you give me that?”

“How much?” He growled and hated himself for it.

She shook her head slowly. “I don’t know. But I need to know I can make it alone before I depend on anyone else.”

Will rubbed the side of his face as disappointment battled with compassion. “Fine. Friends, it is.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

He ignored her murmured protest.

A short time later, the truck was empty, so he grabbed another knife and began to open the boxes he’d just delivered. He heard Nila murmur something now and then as she put away her treasures, but he clamped his mouth shut.

Friends didn’t have to be chatty.

He sat back on his haunches and grunted. Apparently, he needed time, too. Time to grow up and be reasonable.

But Nila’s request still hurt like a sucker punch. It felt too much like that time with Vixen, when she’d patted his face—hard enough to sting—and laughed. He could still hear her giggle as she’d said, “Back off, sweetheart. I’m not ready to commit.”

He’d thought they’d had something special. He’d been wrong. Miserably deceived. Was he wrong about Nila, too? He groaned, stood, and rubbed his lower back.

Nila looked up at him, questions he couldn’t answer in her eyes.

“Can the rest wait? We need to get going soon.”

She looked around. Boxes and wrappings littered the counter, table, and floor. She smiled, and he steeled himself against its warmth. “Sure. I didn’t actually expect to get anything unpacked today. Thanks for all your help, Will.”

He allowed a trace of bitterness to ride on his words. “That’s what friends do.”

She ducked her head, her smile gone.

Shame scudded through him. “Come on, I’ll buy you a burger before we face the munchkins. You still up for babysitting?”

Nila straightened and lifted her chin. “I’ve been looking forward to it ever since Faith asked.” She shut a drawer and picked up her coat without looking at him. “The question is, do you still want to be there with me?”

The evening wouldn’t be what he’d hoped, but sucker that he was, he did want to spend it with her. “Of course. And I promise to keep my distance.” He swallowed his disappointment. “By the way, how’s your arm?”

She looked at him then with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s sore, but it’s fine. I’m sure I could manage alone, if you’d rather. I understand.”

Will snorted. “I said I’d be there, and I will.”

“Fine. I’ll lock up here and meet you at the truck.”

He opened his mouth to make a flippant remark, but something stopped him. Instead, he nodded solemnly.

“As you wish.”