27

 

Will’s mind was on spin cycle as he strode down the hall. After he’d spent the whole night in that hard chair beside her bed, this was her thanks? She just kicked him out? He growled at a passing nurse, and her shocked look brought satisfaction—and shame. He reached the busy waiting room, found an empty seat, and sank into it. His shoulders slumped. He bowed his face onto his open hands.

Nila said she was no good, but he was the one who had failed. Again. He’d left her alone after promising to stay. She deserved better. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should leave her alone. He couldn’t protect her, so what good was he? He groaned aloud and lifted his head.

Several people stared.

He pushed to his feet and walked outside. Bitter cold sucked his breath away, but he inhaled deeply and accepted its punishment. As he fastened his seatbelt, a police car pulled into the lot.

Constable Roth got out and headed into the hospital.

The urge to confront nearly overwhelmed him. If that cop had listened, had believed Nila, she wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed. And his sister and her family wouldn’t be displaced. And even Nick—he would be back in jail where he belonged instead of on a slab in the morgue. He stared daggers at the cop’s back as anger boiled through him.

The cop disappeared into the hospital.

Will ground his teeth as he started his truck. Getting arrested for assaulting an officer wouldn’t help anything or anyone. Especially his mom. His throat constricted as the realization hit.

She and Daniel would arrive home today.

How was he going to explain all of this?

What would Daniel think when he saw that gouge in his masterpiece?

He couldn’t face them. He couldn’t face anyone. He wanted to drive away and just keep going.

 

****

 

Nila heard quiet voices in the hall. One sounded familiar.

The door swung wide, and Constable Roth entered the room. His back was ramrod straight, as usual. He stood as though at attention.

She pulled the meager covers up to her chin with her good hand.

“Ms. Black.” He cleared his throat and started again. “I need to ask you a few questions.”

“O—OK.” She felt her throat tighten. Was this where he told her she was under arrest for murder?

“May I sit down?”

“I guess.”

He settled his large form onto the hard chair and loosened the scarf around his neck. He leaned back. His eyes seemed to bore into hers. “I need you to tell me exactly what happened last night. Every detail. Can you do that?”

Nila shivered and nodded. “I guess so.”

He pulled out his notebook and pen, crossed his legs, and waited.

“Will Jamison and I were babysitting for his sister and brother-in-law. We’d put the kids to bed in Tommy’s room.”

She told the whole story, interrupted a few times by Roth’s incisive questions. As she told him about the scene on the stairs when she pushed Nick, her voice gave out.

“Continue, please.” The command was firm.

She closed her eyes, unable to face his condemnation. “I killed him. He didn’t move after he landed. It’s my fault.”

She felt the police officer move closer to the bed. She shrank away but was trapped by the IV. She smelled his aftershave—pine and citrus, like the kind Pastor Dave used. Somehow, that reassured her.

“Ms. Black, thank you. I know this has been a hard time for you. What you’ve told me matches up with what we found at the scene.” He cleared his throat. “You obviously acted in self-defense. I think it’s safe to say you won’t be charged.”

“You believe me?”

His mouth twisted into a smile. “Yes, I do. I apologize for coming down hard on you earlier. But like I said, we had to follow the evidence. This time it proves your story.”

“Th—thank you.” Exhaustion and relief brought a sigh. “Is that all? “

Constable Roth stood. “Yes. At least for now.”

 

****

 

Several hours later, someone knocked on Nila’s door. She struggled to sit up. “Come in.”

A petite, tanned woman with short, golden brown curls and wide green eyes stepped around the door and leaned against it, closing it. Her hand went to her throat, and tears shimmered in her eyes.

“We really have to stop meeting like this, sweetie,” she said.

“Melody.”

All her pent-up emotions broke through, and Nila sobbed aloud as Melody crossed the room and gently wrapped her arms around her.

Nila clung just as tightly with her free arm, tears flowing, until her sobs became deep, shuddering sighs.

Melody reached for several tissues and handed some to Nila.

They both blew their noses and wiped their eyes.

Nila leaned back against her pillow. “It’s so good to see you.” She looked around. “Where’s Daniel?”

Melody smiled through her tears. “The parking lot was full, so he had to hunt for a space. But I couldn’t wait. Here. Let me raise the head of your bed a little.”

The door opened again, and Daniel peeked in.

“There he is. Come on in, honey.”

“Had to park three blocks away,” he grumbled as he shrugged out of his parka. “After ten days in Mexico, this cold is even harder to take.” He pulled up a chair and sat beside his wife. He took her hand in his and gazed into her eyes for a moment before turning to Nila. “You’ve had quite the time since our wedding, haven’t you? Rotten timing for your ex to be released.”

Nila shuddered. She closed her eyes, but immediately saw Nick’s hate-filled eyes as he lunged at her with the knife. She gasped and opened her eyes, but the scene continued.

Nick tumbling, rolling, and landing at the bottom of the stairs.

Melody squeezed her hand. The pressure pulled her back to the present.

“Are you OK?”

Nila bit her lower lip and looked away. “I-I don’t know. Maybe I will be.” She sighed. “At least I’m not going to jail. A cop was here earlier and said there won’t be any charges.” She turned back to Melody. “But are Jessie and Tommy really all right? Will said they were, but…”

Melody sat up straighter. “Where is Will? Faith said he stayed here all night.”

Nila’s eyes widened. Shame blanched her already-pale face, and she looked down. “He’s gone. I don’t know where.”

“Why?” Daniel spoke up.

“I told him to go.” Tears filled her eyes again. They ran down the sides of her cheeks and onto her pillow. She closed her eyes. “I’m tired of putting people in danger. I can’t do it anymore. I’ve always been alone, and I guess that’s the way it’s meant to be.” She lifted her head.

Daniel’s gaze sharpened. “How long ago did he leave?”

Nila flinched and shook her head slowly. “I—I’m not sure. Maybe three hours? Four?”

Daniel stood. “I’ll call Faith, see if he showed up there yet.”

Melody looked up at him, lines appearing around her mouth. “Yes, please. If he’s not home, try his cell. It’s awfully cold out there.”

Daniel patted her shoulder. “He’s a grown man. I’m sure he’s fine. But I’ll check it out. Try not to worry.” He paused.” They don’t allow cellphones in here, do they?” He headed for the door. “I’ll be right back.”

As the door closed behind Daniel, Melody scooted closer to the bed. Her worry-lines deepened as she took a deep breath. She closed her eyes for several moments.

Nila tensed.

Love shone in Melody’s eyes when she opened them.

Nila released the breath she’d been holding.

“You’re wrong, you know,” Melody said in a soft tone. “I’ve told you before that God brought you into our lives, and I believe that with all my heart.” She reached up and smoothed a strand of hair from Nila’s face. And smiled. “By the way, I love the new hairstyle. It suits you.” She tilted her head. “You’ve been through hardships most of us never have to face. But I’ll bet your faith has grown through it all, hasn’t it?”

Nila shrugged and grimaced as the movement pulled at her stitches. “I thought so, but…” Her mouth turned downward, and her throat tightened. She faced the wall. “I put Jessie and Tommy in danger. I wrecked Faith and Jason’s house. I hurt Will, and I upset Dave and Lydia. And even though you were away, I know you worried. Everyone I care for gets hurt. Sooner or later. And Nick is dead because of me. I’m no good for anyone.”

Melody sat back.

Nila felt coolness between them.

“You’re taking on an awful lot of condemnation that doesn’t belong to you. No one else blames you, so why do you?”

Nila stiffened. “But if it weren’t for me, none of this would have happened.”

“Really? And just when did God put you in control?” Her words snapped like a whip.

Nila gulped. “Wh—what do you mean?”

Melody took her hand again, her voice soft but firm. “Is God in control or you?”

Nila hung her head. “I sure hope He is, because I’m not. But I can’t help but feel guilty. I—I can’t believe I killed Nick. Even though I wished he’d disappear, I didn’t want to kill him.”

“I understand that, sweetheart. Now listen.” Melody leaned closer again. “God has already forgiven you. I know you’re carrying a terrible load of guilt, but you have to give that to Him every time the enemy hits you with it. Jesus paid the penalty for all our failures. Remember?” She squeezed Nila’s hand. “There’s something else I need to tell you. A bit of news from Faith.”

Nila just looked at her.

“Jessie and Tommy weren’t alone last night.”

“What? What do you mean?” She couldn’t suppress the shiver that raced through her.

“Jessica told Faith that a shiny lady named Deborah sang to them and helped them sleep. She said she was her angel.”

Nila’s jaw dropped.

Melody chuckled at her expression.

“Deborah? But I know her. I mean, I met her. Twice.” Nila leaned back against the pillow as wonder overwhelmed her. “So she’s an angel. God sent an angel. Again.” She pulled her hand from Melody’s to wipe her face. “Why would he do that for me?”

“Because you are His precious daughter, dear heart. He chose you. Never forget that. And Jessica and Tommy are His, too.”

Part of the weight lifted. “Thank you, Jesus,” she whispered. “Thank you, El Roi.”

 

****

 

Will restarted his truck and rubbed his tingling hands together. He gazed out over the hayfield, now buried under two feet of snow. When he left the hospital, he’d headed north without thinking and ended up at the farm he’d run away from so many years ago. He’d let memories wash over him, some that comforted and some that harrowed his soul. Was failure the only thing he was good at?

The truck idled for a few minutes, and then he shut it off again. Until the next time the cold burned his bones.

His shoulders slumped as he relived his mistakes. So many mistakes. For several minutes, he wallowed in sorrow. For running away and stressing his family. For fights that ruined friendships. For turning his back on God and forgiveness. For failing Vixen. And now Nila.

“But God…”

Where had he heard that? A sermon by Pastor Dave? He strained to remember but couldn’t. It didn’t matter. He remembered the gist of it. He messed up, but God didn’t. He failed, but God never failed. God loved. God forgave. He was faithful. No matter what, God was there.

He sat up straight. God had used his failures to mold him. He was a better man because of everything he’d experienced. Even Vixen’s death. He considered that.

Taking those tainted drugs had been her choice. He hadn’t even been with her. She’d already rejected him. But he’d carried the guilt of failure for years. He’d wanted to save her, but that had been beyond his power. She had died without him and without God.

Was that why he was so desperate to protect Nila? To make up for what he couldn’t prevent?

He rubbed his hands together. He couldn’t feel his fingers any more except for a burning sensation in his knuckles. He started the truck again and bowed his head. After a moment, he spoke aloud. “Lord God, forgive me. I tried to take Your place. I tried to make myself the great protector, and I failed.”

Nila’s safety was in God’s hands.

Not Will’s. But he still wanted to be there for her. He needed to be with her. He raised his head and watched his breath crystallize as he confessed, “I love her.” His words hung in the frigid air, but warmth filled him, deeper warmth than the truck’s heater could produce. He reached for the gearshift, but was interrupted by the phone buzzing on his hip. He pulled it out and glanced at the caller ID. His voice cracked like a teenager’s. “Hello, Daniel. Welcome home.”

“Where are you, son? We’re at the hospital. Nila said you left several hours ago, and Faith hasn’t seen you. Your mom is worried.”

Will’s sigh fogged up the windshield. “I’m sorry. I needed some time to think. I was just about to head back to the house. I should be there in about an hour.”

“Where are you?”

“The farm.”

Daniel didn’t speak for a moment. Then he said, “Oh. We’ll see you at your house, then. I’ll let your mom know you’re OK.”

“Daniel.” His throat tightened around the words. “I’m sorry about the bed. I tried…”

“The bed is fine. And it’s just a bed. That gouge can be fixed a lot more easily than a broken heart.”

Will swallowed hard past a lump of regret. “How’s Nila?”

“She’s injured and upset. She seems to think she’s to blame for everything.” He cleared his throat, and it rumbled in Will’s ear. “You know, some things are worth fighting for, Will.” Another pause. “See you later.” Daniel’s words echoed.

Will hung up. He’d done more than his share of fighting in his younger years, but usually for the wrong reasons. This was different.

Daniel was right.

Nila was definitely fight-worthy.

He put the truck in gear and headed home. He didn’t know how he’d do it, but this was a battle he had to win.