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It felt like the world was spinning when I woke up the following morning. My head was pounding, and that feeling only got worse once I opened my eyes and realized how brightly lit the room I was in was. I felt dizzy and thirsty. It felt like I could have drank a bathtub full of water and that still wouldn’t have been enough.
It took me a couple of seconds to re-orient myself and recall my surroundings. The night had come back to me in flashes. I remembered being at the bar and the argument I’d gotten into with that stupid ass bartender. I also recalled running into that dude from night school, Desmond, and how he’d taken me back to his spot.
“Wow, look who’s finally awake,” said a voice. I sat up slowly and looked over the couch to see Desmond walking towards me. He was dressed casually in a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt.
“Not so loud,” I said in a raspy voice. I cleared my throat as I tried to get myself together.
“Man, I’m talking at normal volume,” said Desmond as he handed me two pills and a big bottle of water. “Take these and drink that. You should feel better afterwards.”
“What’s this?” I asked. I was already hungrily twisting the cap on the water so I could drink it.
“Painkillers,” he responded. “I figured you’d need them. You were really messed up last night.”
“I remember some of it,” I said. I popped the two pills and drank more of the cold water. I hoped he had another bottle somewhere because the one I had in my hands was almost empty. “Thanks for taking me to your spot. I appreciate it.”
Desmond shrugged it off. “Not a problem. You were too messed up to drive anyway, so it was the least I could do.”
I sat back on the couch as I finished the bottle. “I haven’t had that much to drink in a long time.”
“Well, from what you told me last night, you were probably trying to drown your feelings,” Desmond replied in a knowing way.
“Damn, what did I say last night? I hope I ain’t tell you all my business,” I said with a little laugh. My head was still hurting, but I was starting to feel better since I’d drank the water.
He shook his head. “Man, you told me your whole life story,” he joked. I just shook my head. “Don’t worry about it though. Your secrets are safe with me.”
“What was I saying?” I questioned.
“Well, you told me about your father having cancer and how that’s been affecting you. You also explained what happened to you on Walk By Faith,” he told me.
My eyes grew a little wide with shock. “Wow, I can’t believe that I was that open,” I said with a sigh. “It’s just...well, I don’t have a lot of friends, so I don’t really get too many chances to talk about how I feel. I didn’t mean to put all of my problems on you.”
Desmond just shrugged it off. “Look, if there’s anyone who knows what it’s like to walk around keeping some shit inside, it’s me. I can’t blame you for letting it all out. Like I said, I don’t plan on telling anyone about what you said.”
“Thanks,” I responded.
“So, not to pry or anything, but what do you plan on doing about your situation with your father?” Desmond asked. “I know it’s got to be a lot right now, but you can’t have anymore nights like last night. You’re fine, but if I hadn’t been there on date, they were going to just throw you out.”
“Oh shit. I messed up your date?” I asked. His mention of the date brought back a flash of memory. I recalled the woman that he’d been sitting with at the bar. “My bad.”
“Not a problem,” he said sincerely. “She was actually the one who pointed you out to me, so it kind of worked out. She just wanted me to take care of you because she knew that we were cool.”
“I appreciate it again,” I said. I hadn’t realized how messed up I was until then. I let out a long sigh. “I guess I gotta go home and face my old man at some point.”
“Yeah you do,” he agreed. “But I’d try and get my thoughts together if I were you.”
“I need to do that,” I said. “It’s just a lot. I feel like I’ve kind of messed things up between us and it feels kind of selfish for me to be acting the way that I’ve been acting when he’s out here literally fighting for his life because of cancer.”
A sad look came across Desmond’s face. “It can be hard to face the fact that the people we care about won’t always be around for us,” he said. “But you seem to have realized that already. All you can do at this point is try and repair things for the future.”
I nodded my head. “Yeah, you’re right about that. You sound like you’ve had some experience with this stuff.”
“A little bit,” he said. “Have I ever told you about my accident?”
“You’ve mentioned it before but you never went into details.”
Desmond let out a long sigh. “So this story is crazy, but it’s true. I got struck by lightning a couple of years ago. I was literally at my graduation from high school when it happened. My parents and everyone else kept talking about how much of a miracle it was that I’d survived, but I didn’t see it that way. I just kept on thinking about how it could have happened to me.” He paused and took another deep breath. It was clear that he was still angry about what happened to him. “It took me years to get back to where I am now. My memory is still a little messed up, and I’ve had more operations than I can count for all types of things but mostly skin grafts from where I got burned.”
“Dez, you alright? You got a little heated there,” I said. He seemed to snap back to reality as he focused on me.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m good. It just frustrates me sometimes when I think about it,” he said.
“Shit, it sounds like we both have some stuff that we need to deal with,” I said.
He nodded his head. “Yeah we do,” he agreed. We fell silent for a few moments.
“Can you give me a ride back to the bar? I need to get my car so I can go home.” I was starting to feel a little better, so I decided to stop avoiding my feelings and just take my ass home to talk to my father. I knew that I had hurt him really bad, but the only way for me to fix it would be to talk to him and really listen to what he said.
Desmond nodded his head. “Yeah, give me a couple of minutes to grab my sneakers,” he said.
About half an hour or so later, Desmond pulled up on the street outside the bar that we’d been to the night before. I was glad to see that my car hadn’t been towed, but I did have a ticket. Yet, it was the least of my concerns right now.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said to Desmond.
“No problem,” he said. “Jackson, I know that we’re still getting to know each other, but consider me as one of your friends. I know how hard it can be to go through something all alone, and you shouldn’t have to. I’m here for you if you need me.”
Desmond was a really cool dude. He didn’t have to do any of what he did for me the night before, but he did. I was really thankful for him, and I knew that he meant every word of what he was saying.
“Thank you,” I said. “I really mean that.”
“No problem,” he said before he drove off.
I climbed into my car and drove home. I didn’t know what I was going to say to my father to make things better, but I at least felt better about the situation than I had the night before. I knew that he was the forgiving type, so even though I’d crossed the line, he’d probably already forgiven me. Still, I wanted him to know how serious I was with my apology.
I pulled into the driveway outside of our house. His car was there, which meant that he was home. I headed into the house and called out to him, but he didn’t answer. I could hear the blender going in the kitchen; I headed that way. When I walked into the room, I didn’t see him anywhere. It wasn’t until I walked over to the blender to turn it off that I finally spotted him.
“Dad?” I called out to him frantically. He was on the floor unconscious.
I dropped down to my knees and started to shake him, trying to wake him up.
“Dad, get up!” I yelled. I felt myself getting emotional. As the tears welled up in my eyes, I pulled out my phone and dialed 911.