In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
Theodore Roosevelt
People who stay in the middle of the road get run over. Forming the habit of making decisions in a wise and timely manner is vital to our peace and success in life. Thankfully, there are some people who learn to do that. However, some people make decisions too quickly, others make them too slowly, some make them unwisely, and some don’t make them at all.
Life is filled with decisions. We all make numerous decisions daily. We decide how late we will sleep, what we will eat, wear, and do with our time. We make employment decisions, relationship decisions, financial decisions, and most importantly we make spiritual decisions. Even people who won’t make decisions are still making a decision not to decide. Take a few minutes and honestly evaluate which of the categories mentioned above you fit into. If you are a decisive person and feel that for the most part you make wise decisions, then you are blessed and part of a relatively small group. If you fall into one of the categories of making decisions too quickly, too slowly, or without forethought or wisdom, then this is a great opportunity for you to decide to start forming the habit of being decisive in a proper manner.
If we make right spiritual decisions—and that means we decide to put God first in all things—then the rest of our decisions will be easier. However, making decisions is still something we all labor with at times. For the person who wants to please God in all things, making moral decisions can be easy because God’s Word gives us instructions concerning right and wrong behavior. We only need to decide to learn and obey God in what He teaches us to do. But there are many other decisions we must make in daily life that are not specifically covered in God’s Word. What do we do about those things? The person who truly wants to please God may fall into the trap of being indecisive due to the fear of displeasing God by doing the wrong thing.
There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.
William James
I can truthfully say that indecision is very unpleasant for me. I am generally a very decisive person and can even be guilty at times of making decisions too quickly. I try not to do that at this stage in my life because I have done it in the past and then regretted the quick decision I made. Unfortunately I still had to deal with the results of it. But even though I fit into the category of being a decisive person, there are still times when I find myself vacillating between two things and having difficulty settling on one or the other. Most of the time it is simply because I don’t want to do anything I am not convinced God approves of. I would like to be able to know for certain what God wants me to do in every situation, but I don’t, and like everyone else I must step out in faith and eventually do one thing or the other. And, like everyone else, I get butterflies in my tummy and pray with all my heart that if what I am doing is wrong, God will graciously close the door or stop me before I make a huge mistake.
It is impossible to learn how to make good decisions without having the experience of making decisions. We make some right ones and some wrong ones while we are in the process of learning, so I urge you to get started being decisive and learn from your experiences. Whatever you do, don’t live your life frozen in fear, always being confused because you don’t know what to do.
“Sir, what is the secret of your success?” a reporter asked a bank president.
“Two words.”
“And, sir, what are they?”
“Good decisions.”
“And how do you make good decisions?”
“One word.”
“And, sir, what is that?”
“Experience.”
“And how do you get experience?”
“Two words.”
“And, sir, what are they?”
“Bad decisions.”
The apostle James, being directed by the Holy Spirit, teaches that if we need wisdom we are to ask for it, and God will give it. Only it must be in faith that we ask with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). If we do waver, hesitate, or doubt, we become unstable and unreliable in all of our ways and we are unable to receive from the Lord anything we ask for (James 1:5–8). These Scriptures make the position of the indecisive person quite clear. He is going to be miserable, confused, and unable to get help from God. We must approach God in faith, ready to take action when we have assurance in our heart of some direction. If after prayer and waiting we still feel that we have no direction, then it may mean that God is simply giving us the freedom to make our own choice.
More than once in my life as I have been seeking God concerning what to do in a situation, He has whispered in my heart, “You can do what you want to do.” I have learned in those situations that God places desires in my heart and that I am free to follow them. That kind of freedom frightens some people, but if we know God’s Word, then we should know His heart and we can live accordingly. Dave and I have four grown children. When they were young we told them everything to do and not to do, but as they grew we gradually released more and more decision-making power to them, trusting that they had learned what we would want them to do and that they would follow that. They didn’t always make the right decisions, but through trial and error they learned to make decisions and be responsible for their outcomes, which is part of being an adult.
We grow as children of God just as our natural children grow, and He doesn’t always give us exact and specific directions. He expects us to follow His Word, His Spirit, and His Wisdom. If we don’t have peace about something, or it would not be wise to do it, then we should not do it. It is just that simple! One thing is for sure, and that is that we don’t have to be afraid to make decisions. If we do make a decision that turns out to be wrong, then we can modify it as we go along. God will help us get where we are going, but He can’t drive a parked car. If you sincerely want God’s will and you get lost as you travel through life, God will find you and get you back on the right path.
“Do something, lest you do nothing” is a favorite saying of mine. Some people waste their entire life doing nothing because they won’t make a decision. The reasons for being indecisive can be varied, so let’s look at some of them:
1. A person may be indecisive because their parents never allowed them to make their own decisions. The parents may have thought they were protecting their children, but they actually crippled their ability to be decisive.
2. Indecisive people may be insecure about themselves and their abilities. This is the case with a great many people in our society. Satan loves to give us many fears and insecurities that immobilize us and prevent us from fulfilling our destiny. Indecisive people must learn how much and how perfectly God loves them and that they can do all things through Christ Who gives them strength, ability, and wisdom.
3. Being a people pleaser can also make a person indecisive. People pleasers always look for the approval of others and never follow their own heart when making decisions. It is rather sad how much we depend on the approval and acceptance of other people. If we live our life to please other people, we will end up never living our life at all. We will merely let others live their lives through us when we do what they want instead of what we want.
4. Some people are simply afraid to be wrong. They may be too proud to be able to deal with the thought of having made a wrong decision, so they make no decision at all. They are always trying to decide and never doing it. I often say that the only way we can find out if we are right is to step out and find out. Being right all the time is highly overrated. Being wrong only hurts our pride for a few moments, but being indecisive hurts us in ways that are almost too great to calculate.
5. Once a decision is made, action must follow. Some people may stay indecisive simply to keep themselves from having to be responsible for the work that always follows a decision. Successful men and women are wise in making decisions and persistent and determined in the action they must take thereafter.
In all of these reasons I am offering for indecision, one thing is for sure: It is a bad habit and can be eliminated by forming good habits. Make a courageous decision to be decisive. The more practice you get, the better you will get at doing it.
Perhaps some practical advice on how to make decisions will help you get started.
Make a list of your options. How many different ways can you go? If you want to change jobs, for example, what would your options be? Do you want to change careers or get another job within the field you are experienced in? You may simply want to decide what to do today. You have the day free, so what are your options? You can finish a project that you started and did not complete, or you can go shopping and to lunch with a friend, or you can visit your elderly parents you have not seen in way too long, or you could lie on the couch and watch television all day. What is the best thing to do?
Truthfully, you are the only one who can decide. You might have more fun shopping and eating, but you might have more long-term peace if you finish your project. And, if you’re wise with your time, you can probably work in the visit to your parents with either one of the other options. Lying on the couch all day probably isn’t a good option because you will end up tired and feeling as if you wasted your day.
If you want to buy something, you can buy it and have the thing, or not buy it and have your money. Which of the two options will best suit you in the long run? Asking ourselves some questions about options is often a huge help in making decisions. After all, how can we make really good decisions if we don’t even know what our choices are?
Weigh the possible outcome. For every option there is a possible outcome, and we can label it positive or negative. Dave and I are in the process of making a decision right now, and just this morning I told him I have a list of the positives and the negatives, and the positives do outweigh the negatives. Realizing that helped us make our decision.
It is always unwise to make decisions without taking time to consider what the possible outcome of that decision may be. If you are trying to decide whether to make a commitment of your time and energy to anything, especially if it is something that is a long-term commitment, think everything through completely.
How much of your time will this take? Do you honestly have the time to give to it without overloading your schedule? If you are going to commit, do you need to eliminate something else from your schedule first? How will this commitment affect your family? Are you saying yes to something that someone else wants you to do, but honestly you would rather not do it? If you make the commitment will you find yourself complaining about having to do it? Always think about the outcome of every decision, or you will regret many of the decisions that you make.
Acknowledge God. The writer of Proverbs, the book of wisdom, teaches us to acknowledge God in all of our ways. We should ask God to lead us at the start of trying to make any decision, but we should also look to Him once we feel we do know what we should do, just to make sure He is in agreement. Do you have peace? Is it wise? Are your motives for doing it right? Wait on God for a little while to give Him an opportunity to let you know if there is anything that you are not considering.
We should never make our plans and then pray for God to bless them. We should pray before any planning takes place. If the true desire of your heart is to follow God in all things, He will let you know one way or another if you are doing the right thing.
You may be thinking, “Joyce, what if I have done all of these things and I still don’t know what decision to make?” If that is the case, my advice is to take a baby step in faith and see if what you are committing to is going to be right for you. This isn’t possible in every decision, but it is in many.
For example, if someone is asking you to join a committee, you could commit for a month and then see how you feel about it before you commit for a year or more. Don’t ever hesitate to be honest with people, letting them know that making the right decision is very important to you and that you don’t want to make a long-term commitment without testing the water, so to speak. I always stick my toe in swimming pool water before jumping in, simply because I don’t want to be shocked by its temperature. If the first step works, then take another and another.
All great things began as small things. People with great faith began by exercising their small faith, and as they did they experienced the faithfulness of God and their faith grew. Our ministry began as a Bible study in our home. The first five years we had twenty-five people in attendance. Now we have a worldwide ministry with offices in eighteen countries.
God’s Word encourages us not to despise the days of small beginnings, so if you are an indecisive person I suggest that you start being decisive in small areas first. Make quicker decisions about what you want to eat, wear, or do with your time today. I have been out to eat with people who can look at a menu for forty-five minutes before deciding what they want. Even when they order they might say, “I still don’t know what I want, so I guess I will just order this.” I can understand taking a little time to decide, but being in that much indecision is probably an indicator of a deeper problem.
We all know what happens to our day if we begin with the attitude of getting out of bed and waiting to see what happens. I had a friend once who called me each morning to see what I was going to do that day. We spent a lot of time together and she didn’t want to make any plans until she knew what I was doing. I would often respond by asking, “What are you going to do today?” She would say, “I don’t know, I thought I would see what you are doing.” This kind of extreme passivity and vagueness is dangerous. Don’t ever let someone else’s decisions be the guide for yours.
I like to say, “Have a plan and be ready to change it if God interrupts you for something He needs.” It is possible to plan too much, but to have no plan at all is the seed for a wasted life.
Once you do make a decision, even a small one, try to stick to it. God is not the author of confusion; therefore, don’t become confused through excessive reasoning about your choice. I love the Scripture that says, “Set your minds and keep them set” (Colossians 3:2). Sadly, we are often too easily distracted and have difficulty keeping our mind set in a direction. Develop the habit of being decisive; don’t be double-minded, don’t vacillate, hesitate, waver, or doubt. Start confessing daily that you are a decisive person and that you make wise decisions.