It is well with the man who deals generously and lends, who conducts his affairs with justice.
Psalm 112:5
One of the bad habits we should want to break is being selfish and self-centered, and the best way to do that is to form the habit of being generous. Generosity makes one’s soul truly beautiful. God is generous, and all those who wish to be like Him must learn to be generous. I once heard that when we give we are more like God than at any other time.
When something is a habit, we actually miss it if we are not doing it. We should have such a strong habit of generosity that we actually crave the opportunity to do things for others. We can and should form a habit of being generous. That means that we choose to do more than we would have to do, and always do as much as we possibly can. We should never be the type of person who only does what they absolutely have to do, and even then does it with murmuring and complaining. God delights in a person with a willing and a generous heart. He loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7).
I don’t enjoy it at all when someone does something for me and I can sense that they resent doing it. It actually ruins the whole thing, and I would rather that they not do it at all. My father was not a generous man. As a matter of fact, I don’t ever remember him doing anything for anyone unless there was something in it for him. He even told me repeatedly that nobody really cared about anyone else, and everyone was out to get something. I am sure he believed that because that was the way he was, but how sad to live your whole life with that kind of attitude. Any time my father did anything for anyone there was always something he wanted in return. The truth is, that type of giving isn’t real giving at all. When people give with that kind of attitude, they are in reality purchasing something. We often hear that we should give with no strings attached, which means to give expecting nothing in return. We should give generously, not expecting anything from the one we give to, but knowing that God blesses and rewards the generous person.
The merciful, kind, and generous man benefits himself [for his deeds return to bless him], but he who is cruel and callous [to the wants of others] brings on himself retribution.
Proverbs 11:17
I can still remember how much I hated it when my father let me go to a movie or borrow his car and yet made me feel guilty for doing it. It was a terrible feeling, and I don’t want to ever make anyone feel that way. I don’t believe we are being truly generous unless we do what we do with a willing heart. Giving may begin as a discipline, but it should develop into a desire. We can learn to give for the sheer joy we find in doing it.
A spirit of generosity causes a person to give even when it seems unreasonable to do so. The apostle Paul speaks of the generosity of the churches in Macedonia. Even though they were experiencing an ordeal of severe tribulation and deep poverty, they had so much joy that it overflowed in lavish generosity. They gave according to their ability, and even beyond their ability (what would have been comfortable) (2 Corinthians 8:2–3). Just reading about these people makes me admire them and want to be like them. We are drawn to generous people, and we instinctively don’t want to be in the presence of a stingy person for very long.
Greed has become a huge problem in our society today. I am sure it has always been a problem, but the abundance of things that are available today makes it even more of a problem. Greed causes a person to never be satisfied or appreciative for very long no matter how much they have. The apostle Paul tells us that he had learned how to be content whether he had a lot or a little (Philippians 4:12). That lesson would be a valuable one for all people today.
Greed steals the life of the greedy person, because he can never be satisfied. Greedy people cannot enjoy what they do have because they are never genuinely content. It is not wrong to want things. God has either created or given us the ability to create many beautiful and needful things, and I believe He wants His children to enjoy them. But He wants us to enjoy them with a proper attitude. That attitude should be one of gratitude, contentment, and a willingness to be generous to others.
We must fight against greed, and the best way I know to do that is to develop the habit of generosity. Greed is such a huge problem that God’s Word instructs us to not even associate with anyone who is known to be guilty of greed. Why would He say that? I believe it is because greed is a wicked spirit, and God doesn’t want us to be affected by it. God wants us to grow in generosity, not in greed. We can easily be affected by the people we are around, especially if we have close association with them. If you want to be a generous person, make friends with other generous people. Watch how they live and learn from their example.
I am thinking of some people I often eat with who are always very friendly, encouraging, and kind to all the workers in the restaurant. They have a good attitude even if their meal isn’t exactly what they expected, and they tip generously. Their entire attitude is one of generosity. Being with them helps make a meal very pleasant, and I am challenged by their behavior to always keep growing in generosity. Choose friends who make you a better person. Of course, we want to always reach out to people who need us to be an example to them, too, but it isn’t good if those are the only kind of people we are around.
People who are not in the habit of being generous may have to force themselves to be generous for a period of time, but I can assure you that after a while they will become addicted to it. Make a decision to be more of a blessing to others, and start looking for opportunities. When you hear of a person in need, don’t think, “Somebody needs to help them,” without asking God if you’re the somebody He wants to use.
I love to give in a variety of ways, and I know many other people who feel the same way. We didn’t start out that way but learned it by being in relationship with God and studying His Word. I was also affected by being with generous people who became an example to me. Initially, I had to begin being generous on purpose, but eventually I started actually loving it. My executive assistant says that she was one of the stingiest people alive, and she is now a radical, outrageous giver. She says that the greatest and most life-changing lesson she has learned from my teachings is to give. To transition from being that stingy to now being very generous, she had to begin by doing acts of generosity on purpose.
Our children have told Dave and me that one of the best things we taught them was to give. Learn to be generous and teach it to other people. If your spirit is agreeing with what you’re reading here about generosity but you know that you are not a truly generous person, you can become one. Pray and ask God to help, and then just start doing things for people until it becomes a habit.
Don’t think that you have to have a lot of money to be generous. Generosity can be practiced no matter how much or little you have. If you share what you have with others freely, you are a generous person. You may share a meal, give a helping hand, give hospitality by inviting others into your home, or you may give the gift of true friendship. I do like to give gifts to people, but things are not the only or even the most important thing to give.
The main thing should be that we are letting an abundance of good things flow out from us to others. Greed frightens me because I believe it can easily take hold of anyone if they don’t fight against it. When God begins to bless us, the last thing we should do is get greedy. When blessings flow to us, that is the time to press in to being a blessing to others more than ever.
I will bless you [with abundant increase of favors] and make your name famous and distinguished, and you will be a blessing [dispensing good to others].
Genesis 12:2
God told Abraham that He intended to abundantly bless him, but the promise came with an instruction to be a blessing to others. If we become “keepers” of all that comes to us and we don’t let it flow through us, we become like stopped-up wells. We have what is necessary to help people, but we refuse to let it flow out. Not only are others deprived of blessings if we are stingy or greedy, but we are very miserable. Do you possess your possessions, or do your possessions possess you? Are you able to use what you have to be a blessing? God is a giver, and if we want to enjoy life and fulfill our purpose, then we must become givers also.
There is a difference between one who occasionally gives and a giver. When a person occasionally gives, it is something they do, but when they become a giver, it is who they are. Giving has become a habit, and it is part of their character. They don’t have to be convinced to give, they don’t resent giving or secretly wish they did not have to do it, but instead they actually love giving and are always on the lookout for ways to do it.
This is a good place to stop for a moment and do a reality check. It is time for a truth test. Are you a generous giver? Do you give as much as you can in a variety of ways, or are you still holding back out of fear, trying very hard to make sure that you are taken care of first? If you know in your heart that you’re not a generous person, don’t feel guilty, but start developing a habit of being generous.
What are some steps you can take to start forming this wonderful habit? I first suggest that you make a plan. Every day, think about people you can bless and in what ways you can bless them. The more you think of others, the less time you will have to concentrate on yourself and your own problems. I have discovered over the years that the less I think about myself, the happier I am.
Think of the people you will be with today, and then think about what their needs may be. Perhaps they just need encouragement. Perhaps they need to talk and you could bless them by listening. Perhaps they are in need financially and you could give them a gift certificate to the grocery store or a gas card. There are endless ways to bless people if we will just put our mind to it. If you don’t know what the person needs, then begin listening to them, and it won’t be long before you will hear them mention something they are lacking. A person might say, “I have been so discouraged lately,” and that is your opportunity to encourage them. Or they could say in conversation, “I really need some new clothes, but I will have to wait awhile,” you could consider buying them a new outfit. If they are the same size as you, you could give them some of yours. At times I have kept a list of things I have heard various people say that they want or need, and even if I can’t do it for them right away, I keep it on my list and do it when I can. Learn to listen.
Another thing we can do is take an inventory of what we own that we don’t use at all and start giving it away. There are always people who desperately need or want what we have and are not even using. My motto is “Use it or lose it.”
We don’t have to personally know a person to be a blessing to them. If we decide to be a blessing everywhere we go, that will have to include strangers. I have found that it makes people feel good if I ask their name when they are helping me in a store or restaurant. People want and need to feel that we are genuinely interested in them as an individual.
Plan to put smiles on faces. You can even start with a goal such as “I want to put a smile on at least one face a day”—that is, by being a blessing in some way. When you reach that goal consistently, raise it to two faces and then more and more. Soon generosity will become a lifestyle.
Be creative and pray for God to show you ways to be able to bless people. The more generous you become, the more you will be blessed in your own life. Do it for the glory of God and in obedience to Him. We cannot outgive God. He said if we give, it will be given back to us, pressed down, shaken together, and running over (Luke 6:38). You won’t end up with less if you’re a generous giver; you will actually prosper in all you do.
Generosity is not only giving ourselves and our money and things. It also involves how we treat people. Generous-spirited people will be patient with the weaknesses of others, quick to forgive, and slow to get angry. They always believe the best of people. They listen when others are hurting and make an attempt to provide comfort—or just show concern. They are also encouraging, and they build people up and edify them. They make a big deal out of what others do right but often don’t even mention what they do wrong. If I had to choose between the two, I would rather have someone give me those things than pay for my lunch.
We are creatures of habit, but bad habits can be broken and they can be replaced with good habits. As I have said already, I believe if we concentrate on forming good habits, the bad ones won’t have any room to operate in our lives. We can form the habit of being a generous person who continually reaches out to others to make their lives better, and in doing so the bad habits we previously had will find no place in us. I admit that I was a very selfish, self-centered person for much of my life. We don’t have to learn to be selfish. We are born with that ability. Thankfully, through the new birth in Jesus Christ, we can change. Jesus died so that we no longer have to live to and for ourselves (2 Corinthians 5:15). That is good news! We can be free from selfishness. We can be free from constantly thinking, “What about me?” We won’t have to fear that our needs won’t be met, because God will always take care of our needs when we busy ourselves with taking care of the needs of other people.