Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.
Mary Kay Ash
Every one of us needs encouragement on a regular basis. I believe one of the greatest things we can do in life is to form the habit of adding value to everyone we come in contact with. Remember that a habit is formed through repetition; therefore, focusing on doing this every day is the key to success. If adding value to everyone that you meet is the habit you want to develop, be creative in finding methods that will remind you to do so.
If you need reminders, write yourself a note that you will have to read, or make a sign and put it the first place you will be after getting out of bed. After seeing your reminder I suggest you even say to yourself or out loud, “Today I will add value to everyone I meet.” Even if encouraging others does not come easily to you, you can develop the habit of doing it. I know, because I have done that in my own life.
Focusing on adding value to other people will help us take our minds off ourselves, and that is a very good thing. Being self-centered is the root cause of most of the world’s misery, and anything we do to avoid it in our lives is a plus. People with my type of personality, commonly called type A or choleric, are very focused individuals, but they usually focus on what they are trying to accomplish. As a result of that focus, they can often be guilty of being insensitive to the needs and desires of other people. All personality types have strengths and weaknesses. The type A or choleric person’s tendency to be insensitive to other people is a weakness, and it must be confronted and overcome with God’s help. We should never use people to get what we want, and if they help us get what we want or reach our goal, we should give them credit and value them all the more. This is something that God has helped me overcome and it has made me a better leader and person. I am sure I still make mistakes, but I have made lots of progress over the years. If this is a weakness for you, admit it, and start right now overcoming it with God’s help. You and He together can do anything!
There are people who are gifted by God with a special ability to encourage others. The Bible says in Romans 12:8, when speaking about giving ourselves to exercising the gifts that we have, “(He who exhorts (encourages), to his exhortation; he who contributes, let him do it in simplicity and liberality; he who gives aid and superintends, with zeal and singleness of mind; he who does acts of mercy, with genuine cheerfulness and joyful eagerness.” Even if you feel that encouraging others is not a particular gift for you, you are still responsible to do it. God’s Word teaches us that we are to encourage one another.
The people who are gifted to encourage others will find that it comes very naturally to them. It won’t be a habit they will have to develop, but thankfully it can become one for the rest of us.
God is the Source “of every comfort (consolation and encouragement)” (2 Corinthians 1:3). Since God is an encourager, we should be the same way, because He is our example in all things. Any time we do what God does we can be assured that we are doing the things that are right and that will produce joy, peace, and power for our own lives. The more you encourage others, the better you will feel and the more joy you will have. We reap what we sow; therefore, if we sow joy we will reap joy. If we sow encouragement, we can expect encouragement from others. When we encourage others it builds them up and makes them strong. They are enabled to press forward; however, without that encouragement they might become weary and give up.
You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.
Dale Carnegie
We have been entrusted with a great power. We have the power to encourage and to add value to everyone we meet. What a wonderful goal to start each day with!
There are many ways we can encourage other people. We can do it with words, through contributing to help pay for something they may need, and through giving aid to them in some way. We can also encourage people by being quick to forgive, to cover offenses (1 Peter 4:8), withhold criticism, and bear with and be patient with their weaknesses (Galatians 6:2). I sure appreciate it when people don’t make a big deal out of my mistakes. It is wonderfully refreshing when we make a mistake and the person who was affected by it says, “Don’t worry about it, it is not a problem. We all make mistakes.”
Another way to add value is to listen with interest to what people say. None of us like it when we are trying to talk to someone and it is obvious they are not interested in what we are saying. It makes us feel devalued. There are, of course, some people who rattle on and on, and listening to them for as long as they want to talk may not be possible, but at least we can exit the conversation respectfully.
We can encourage and add value to people through extending mercy to them. God’s Word says that mercy is greater than judgment. People who notice everything anyone does that is wrong are referred to as faultfinders. They seem to usually notice what is wrong and they always mention it, but they seldom see what is right. Even when they do see what is right, their critical nature prevents them from talking about it. Instead of showing mercy and not mentioning the fault or mistake, they rehearse it over and over, not only to the person with the fault but to other people also. They find it hard to drop it and let it go, which is part of the definition of forgiveness. I know how people like that affect me, and I sure don’t want to be one of them. Do you? Jesus had the habit of being merciful, kind, and forgiving, and I want it, too, don’t you?
We should make a big deal out of anything good that anyone does and learn to cover their faults with mercy. Let’s make them feel better when they make mistakes instead of making them feel worse.
I was in a jewelry store the other day and a young man was polishing the counter and paying no attention to me. I wanted to see something in the case, and even when I asked him if he could help me, he didn’t answer. I felt irritated and asked him again, but my tone of voice could have been nicer than it was. He finally looked up and when he did, I could tell that he was a little mentally impaired, and he said, “I can’t open the case, but I will get someone who can.” Because he had his face down while polishing the glass, which was probably the job he had been hired to do, I could not see his condition. Naturally, I felt absolutely terrible about my impatient and irritated attitude and repented immediately. I still felt grieved by my attitude even an hour later. He may not have even noticed it, but God certainly let me know that He noticed it and didn’t like it. Ouch!
God cares about how we treat all people, and especially people who are disadvantaged in any way. As a matter of fact, I truly believe that how we treat the people in our life is very important to God. He loves people and wants us to love them as part of our service to Him. I have often said that the measure of our love can be seen in how we treat people. Perhaps one of the greatest and most beautiful habits we can develop is the habit of being gentle, patient, loving, and adding value to each person we meet. People may forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Make each individual feel as if they matter and are valuable.
Here is something that happened that I am sure put a smile on God’s face. The story is entitled “You Are Going Places,” and the author is unknown.
It was another dreary and gloomy day. I had come home from school, changed my clothes and gotten ready for work. I work at a local restaurant in town as a cashier, seater, and busser. I went to work feeling down and out. And to make matters worse I was busing that evening. It’s the same thing over and over again. Dealing with customers who complain and whine about their food, where they sat and how the piece of pie that they are served is too big or too small. Little things like that tend to annoy a lot of our employees but we all learn to deal with it. Some days it is annoying but you just get used to it I guess. I know I have.
Three elderly ladies walked in and were sat at a booth by the windows. It happened to be the very spot near where I bus and keep the dirty dishes in the bins. I had been busing since 5:00 p.m. and we were quite busy. Trying to keep up with all the dirty tables, people leaving and coming in and servers running all over the restaurant, it was crazy.
But these elderly women were watching how I was busing and working really hard to make sure every table was clean and ready for the next customers. When they were finished with their meals, I took their plates back to the kitchen. They talked to me for a while about school, how I was doing, what grade I was in, and what I planned to do in the future.
As they were leaving, they walked past me, and one of them said to me in a confident and gentle voice, “You are going places.” And that was it. They left the restaurant and I was pretty much in awe. I had tears in my eyes, because they gave me a reason to believe in myself. They picked my spirit up from being down and out and gave me a reason to keep on working hard and to give it my all.
People told me that I couldn’t have a career in television until I had a degree and was out of college. I’m now an executive producer and co-anchor of a student-produced television show. I just finished an internship at a local television station this past summer. And the best thing is, I’m only 17 years old and I am a senior in high school.
Reading this story brought conviction of a bad attitude to me because Dave talks to waiters and waitresses in this same way all the time, and I am often trying to get him to stop so we can order our food or get our bill. I assumed he was pestering them until I read this story, so reading it taught me a lesson. Now I will have to wait patiently while Dave encourages them and perhaps changes their life. Just two days ago he took time to talk with the waitress and the person busing the table. In between him talking to the two of them, while no one was at the table but us, I said, “Will you stop asking these people so many questions so we can order our food and go?” He said, “No, I believe it encourages people when we care about them and their life.” I guess I wanted him to encourage people without taking so long to do it. Well, another lesson learned the hard way for Miss Joyce!
There are persons who seem to overcome obstacles and by character and perseverance to have risen to the top. But we have no record of the number of able persons who fall by the wayside, persons who, with enough encouragement and opportunity, might make great contributions.
Mary Barnett Gilson
Considering this statement does make me wonder how many people were intended for great things, but the people who were assigned the job by God of encouraging them didn’t think their part was important enough to bother doing it. We should try to see the potential in people instead of the problems. I had plenty of problems, but thankfully Dave saw the potential and he has been a huge encouragement to me in many ways. Most of us need someone to encourage us as we make our journey in life.
The world needs encouragers, but sadly not enough people see it as important, so they don’t bother doing it. Adding value to everyone you meet may be one of the most important things you do in life. It may help many succeed who might have otherwise failed in their pursuits. Most people don’t place enough value on seemingly little things like encouragement, but I don’t believe it is a little thing to God.
Become a person who habitually encourages others, and you will find that doing so adds joy to your own life.
We should be able to be happy for people when they succeed. Even if they are about to surpass us, we should cheer them on.
Forty thousand fans were on hand in the Oakland stadium when Rickey Henderson tied Lou Brock’s career stolen-base record. According to USA Today, Lou Brock, who had left baseball in 1979, had followed Henderson’s career and was excited about his success. Realizing that Rickey would set a new record, Brock said, “I’ll be there. Do you think I’m going to miss it now? Rickey did in 12 years what took me 19. He’s amazing.”
The real success stories in life are with people who can rejoice in the successes of others. What Lou Brock did in cheering on Rickey Henderson should be a way of life for those in the family of God. Few circumstances give us a better opportunity to exhibit God’s grace than when someone succeeds and surpasses us in an area of our own strength and reputation.
I can only imagine how good it made Rickey Henderson feel to have Lou Brock at the game cheering him on. We all want our peers to be happy for us when we succeed. Let’s remember that we don’t have to be in competition for the number one spot in life in all things, and that no matter how good we are at something, someone is on the way who will be better at what we do than we are. That is progress, and we should be thankful for it. They say records were made to be broken, and I am glad they are because that way we can all keep trying to do better and cheering for whoever succeeds.