He who lives without discipline dies without honor.
Icelandic proverb
By now, you’ve probably realized that none of these habits can be developed without a lot of discipline and self-control. Just wanting to do better is not enough; we have to be willing to discipline ourselves, and that always means giving something up in order to get something we want more. We discipline ourselves now for a future reward.
For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness—in conformity to God’s will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God].
Hebrews 12:11
We often hear people say, “I’m not a very disciplined person,” or “I wish I were a more disciplined person.” Discipline never comes by wishing, but it comes only by a willingness to go through what is grievous and painful in order to get to the good thing on the other side of it. Are you willing? I guess you should stop right here for a few minutes and make that decision before going on. If you make the decision and you are serious about it, you can depend on God to give you the strength to follow through, but I am not going to try to deceive you by saying that forming all of these new habits will be easy. I would rather underpromise and overdeliver than overpromise and under-deliver. If it turns out not to be difficult or painful, that’s great, but if it does turn out to be difficult or painful, I don’t want you to run because you had no idea what you were getting into.
Some of the habits you need to break or make will be easier than others, but there will surely be some that will require great discipline and self-control. Don’t be afraid of pain, but remember the old adage, “No pain, no gain.” Any time something is hard, say to yourself, “I am making progress.”
Most things in life don’t come easily and quickly. And certainly most things that are worth having don’t come that way. We have all heard of Albert Einstein. He is known for his brilliant mind, but he said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
I think one of my better traits has been that I don’t give up easily. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you are willing to go through the hard part to get to the good part. Perseverance and steadfastness are wonderful qualities to have and ones that every successful person does have.
Perseverance is a great element of success. If you knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Always remember that nobody can make you give up if you refuse to, and nobody can keep you from succeeding if you won’t give up. My point is that your success in life or any venture is between you and God. As long as what you are attempting to do is in His will for you, He will help you do it, if you will do your part. I have said many times, “We are partners with God in life. He will always do His part, but are we willing to do our part?” I pray that we always are.
Some of the habits you will be working on will come more easily than others, and I don’t know that I have a good answer as to why. During the years I have been working out at the gym with a strength coach, she often tries to help me learn things that will enhance the benefit of the exercise I am doing, things like standing certain ways, or not slouching my shoulders while I am doing certain exercises, or not dropping my head but keeping it erect. Some of them become a habit after she reminds me only two or three times, and some of them I still need to be reminded of after six years. But I have already decided that I am not giving up no matter how long it takes me to get it right.
One of the hardest things for me to remember when I am doing my exercises has been to not do them too fast. I think most of us want to get it over with, and my personality is a conquer-and-move-on personality anyway, so between these two things I have needed a lot of reminders to slow down so the muscle I am using gets the intended benefit. Well, the good news is that at this point when I hear my coach say, “Slow down,” I already know she is going to say it. I am finally recognizing it myself when I do things too fast, so that means I am very close to overcoming in that area. Yeah!
Habits are things that we often do unconsciously, and to break bad ones we have to become conscious and aware that we are doing them and then move on to being aware before we do it so we can choose not to do it. It is a process, and if you are a person who gives up easily, you won’t get very far. So make a decision right now that you are in for the long haul and that you are willing to have the pain for the gain.
You might be wishing that you could have a coach for all areas of life to remind you when you are doing the wrong thing so that you can do the right thing. If that is true, then I have good news for you. You can count on your life coach, the Holy Spirit, to always remind you when you are getting lax in one of your good habits and beginning to revert to old ones. He brings things to our remembrance (John 14:26).
Life coaches have become popular today. They are people who help clients learn how to live their lives in the best way possible, and their training covers many areas of life. I am sure they are a blessing to lots of people, and if you want to pay one you can, but you already have the best one that has ever been available, and that is the Holy Spirit. He teaches us all things. Jesus said,
But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you.
John 14:26
Isn’t that wonderful news! We don’t have to try to do it alone. We have a Divine Helper Who will not only remind us what to do but will strengthen us to be able to do it. Lean on Him at all times! I can promise you that if you will not give up, He certainly won’t give up on you.
When you’re weary and tempted to give up, just remember that your breakthrough may only be one day away.
As you begin your journey of developing better habits and breaking bad ones, you might want to start with a couple that might be a little easier for you to have some quick victories under your belt before tackling some of the harder ones. Don’t keep putting the harder ones off too long, however, or you just might never get around to them. The ones that are the most difficult are probably the ones that will be the most beneficial to you when you have had victory. If a door is difficult to open, don’t walk away, just push a little harder.
Although discipline doesn’t bring joy immediately, it is intended to bring joy ultimately. God wants us to be happy. He wants us to enjoy our lives, and I personally don’t think that we ever will unless we are committed to a life of discipline and self-control. People who cannot control themselves are not happy people. They feel bad about themselves, they are pressured by feelings of guilt and failure, and they often take their anger and frustration out on other people. Surely it would be far better to go through the pain of learning discipline than to remain in a state of permanent slavery and misery to sin and destructive habits.
Jesus came that we might have and enjoy life abundantly and fully (John 10:10). Are you doing that? If not, is it due to a habit you have that needs to be broken? If the answer is yes, then get started. Remember, the experts say it takes twenty-one to thirty days to make or break a habit, so every day you keep going and refuse to give up brings you one day closer to freedom.
Don’t think about the difficulty of forming new habits, but instead think about the joy and freedom that is soon to come. I also recommend that you not count how many days you have left to go before the new habit kicks in. It is best rather to think in terms of how many days you have practiced doing the thing that you want to become part of your habitual behavior. For example, if disciplining yourself to eat healthy snacks instead of sugary ones is your goal, then think and talk about how far you have come each day that you are successful rather than how hard it is for you to do without sugar. Verbalizing how difficult it is for you twenty times a day will only make it more difficult, but verbalizing your joy in having been successful one day, two days, three days, and so on will make you happy. As I have said, what we think becomes our reality, so be sure your thoughts line up with your ultimate desires.
We can live safely or dangerously, but if we want to live safely, or in what I like to call the Safety Zone, then discipline and self-control are required. For example, if I want to be safe from the burden of debt, I must discipline myself regularly not to spend more money than I have. The ease in obtaining credit cards today allows people to overspend by permitting them to spend tomorrow’s income today. If we do that, however, when tomorrow comes we have already spent our money and we have to keep borrowing. It is an endless cycle unless we learn to never buy something we cannot pay for with comfort. If you want to use credit cards for convenience, that is fine, but pay them off at the end of each month. If you are not able to do that right now, then make it your goal and start working toward it.
Some people are so accustomed to living on borrowed money that even the thought of what I am saying sounds like an impossibility, but I can assure you that it is not only possible, it is the only safe way to live. You may already be deep in debt, but don’t think that it is too late for you to do anything about it. Today’s discipline will help you overcome past mistakes if you keep at it long enough.
Are you living an unsustainable life? Some of you may even say from time to time, “I can’t keep this up forever,” when it comes to the stress level in your life, the debt that keeps mounting higher and higher, the weight you may be gaining, or any other area that has become habitually out of control. If you know that you cannot keep up the behavior, then why put off stopping it? It won’t be any easier if you wait longer, and it could possibly be more difficult.
Just this morning the Holy Spirit convicted me of an area in my life that needs more discipline. I have learned over the years that when God brings conviction He also gives grace to conquer. Timing is important! It is important that we act in His timing, not in ours. Putting something off until a more convenient time usually means that we either never do it or we do it with great struggle. I started today praying about the area I was convicted in and studying the best way to make changes. “Act right away, don’t delay!”
The phrase “Take the Limits Off” is popular today, but is it biblical? We don’t want to limit what God can do in our life through unbelief, but if we ignore healthy and wise limits, we are asking for disaster. Even good things can become bad things if we impose no limits. For example, if you spend so much time being good to other people that you have no time to take care of yourself properly, your good intention will eventually cause you health and perhaps emotional problems. Boundaries, borders, or limits are vital in every area of life. Establishing and keeping them requires discipline and the forming of good habits. I think it would be safe to say that discipline and good habits go hand in hand, just as no discipline and bad habits do.
Some people cringe at the mention of the word discipline. They have a mental attitude toward it that is unhealthy and self-defeating. We need to see that discipline is our friend, not our enemy. It helps us be what we say we want to be, do what we say we want to do, and have what we say we want to have. Saying what one wants is easy and costs nothing, but obtaining it requires discipline. Discipline doesn’t prevent us from having fun and doing what we want to in life, but instead it helps us obtain what we truly want, which is peace, joy, and right relationships as well as other things.
We should love discipline and embrace it as our companion in life. We should invite it to be with us at all times, because it is always ready to keep us out of trouble. God’s Word teaches us that only a fool hates discipline.
Most of the people I have encountered whose lives are like a train wreck are not disciplined individuals. They live by emotion rather than principle, and wisdom is far from them. They eventually have nothing left but regret in their life over what they have or have not done. We can all have the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Wise people will discipline themselves, and that means that they do today what they will be happy with later on in life.
You can look forward to the future expectantly if you are ready to put the principles in this book to work in your life. Every day can be an adventure in improvement rather than another day wasted. Every good habit you form will make your life better, and it will increase your joy.
I have found in my own life that if I don’t take any action to move forward, I always slide backward. We don’t remain stagnant for long. God is on the move and so is Satan, and we must decide which one we are going to move with. God’s plan for your life is amazingly wonderful, but Satan comes only to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). Reading this book won’t help you at all unless you make some decisions and follow through, so I pray you are ready to do that. If you are, then I can promise you that you and God together are an unbeatable team.