40

I NEARLY CHOKED ON MY APPLE. “Stephen.” I rose quickly, realizing I’d somehow missed his call. And though I’d had trouble reading him lately, right now his assumptions were appallingly clear. Heat flashed through me. “Join us. Alex and I were just having a sandwich and . . . talking. I’ll make you one.”

“No need, but thanks,” he said flatly.

“Well, join us for conversation then.” I gestured to the chair beside me. “I’ll get you something to drink.”

He didn’t move.

“Stephen.” Alex was already across the patio, hand outstretched. “It’s good to see you again.”

Stephen shook his hand. “You too, Alex. Claire passed along your condolences. Much appreciated.”

Alex nodded. “I’ve walked that road, so . . .”

I scooted past them and into the kitchen, leaving the door open in hopes of overhearing their conversation, but I couldn’t. I grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and hurried back, telling myself I had nothing to be ashamed of. Lunches with architects and contractors had been part of my job in Denver. And Alex Brennan had always been a total gentleman. So why did I feel as if I’d been caught doing something shameful?

Relieved to find Stephen seated at the table, I handed him his water.

“Thank you,” he said, his tone far too formal for a husband of twenty-two years.

“Good work on finding that trapdoor, Stephen.” Alex raised his water bottle in salute.

“Yep, takes talent to drop a flashlight.”

We all laughed, but tension layered the air. “Stephen, Alex is trying to find some trace of the passageway along the back wall. Behind the gardenias.”

“Any luck?” Stephen looked at him.

“Not yet. But that room was hidden in plain sight all these years, and no one found it until now. Surely we can find something we’re intentionally looking for.”

Stephen smiled, turning his water bottle in his hands. “One would certainly hope.” He looked between Alex and me. “But how often do we just pass right by things and don’t even see them because we’re not looking closely enough?”

If we’d needed a knife to cut the tension before, now we needed a chain saw. I realized what Stephen was implying, yet I chose not to reciprocate.

“Well.” Alex rose. “I’d better be on my way. Thank you for the sandwich, Mrs. Powell. Stephen, it was good to connect.”

I started to see Alex to the door, but he held up a hand. “I know the way. Y’all have a good night.”

I waited until I heard the front door close. “Well, thank you for making that extremely uncomfortable for everyone. Not to mention embarrassing.” I reached for the empty plates.

“Claire, it’s past eight thirty. I called over an hour ago. I texted. You didn’t answer. I got concerned.”

“I never got any texts or calls from you.” I reached for my phone in my pocket. It wasn’t there.

“It’s on the kitchen counter. You must have been a little distracted.”

“Oh, that is rich coming from you.” I brushed past him.

“Claire, I didn’t come here to fight.” He followed me inside.

“No, you came here to humiliate me and to all but accuse a respectable man of behavior he’s shown absolutely no indication of exhibiting.”

“Accuse a respectable—” His harsh laugh held no humor. “I’m sorry if I made you, or Alex, uncomfortable. I’d like to say that wasn’t my intention, but when I saw you two sitting there . . .” He shook his head. “I can say in all sincerity that I drove over here because I was worried—and hoping to have dinner with my wife to discuss the future.”

Only then did I see two boxes from Bones Restaurant on the counter, along with a bottle of wine. But it was the hint of hope in his voice that frightened me. “Stephen, I can’t do this.”

“Do what? I just want us to have dinner and talk.”

“But it’s not just dinner, is it?” I stared at him. “Don’t forget, I know you. Contrary to you not seeing me all these years, I do see you. I have been looking. For a long time.” Tears burned my eyes. “And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve seen me, too. Only you didn’t want what you saw. And you only want me now because you can’t have me.”

“That’s not true. I love you, Claire. I want our life together back. Our life with Maggie. And I would give anything to undo what I’ve—”

“I know. I’ve heard all that over and over. And the odd thing? I actually believe you now. I do. But that doesn’t change what you did. You broke your sacred vows and shattered my trust in y—”

“How many times do I have to say this? She meant nothing to me. What happened between us meant nothing.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate, Stephen, because it meant everything to me.” Tears choked me. Maybe it was bravery on my part or knowing I had nothing left to lose. “There’s one question you’ve never really answered—why you did it. Just because she waited for you, came on to you, and unbuttoned her shirt?”

He winced. “Please, let’s not go back there.”

“If it meant nothing to you, why did you do it? Were you bored? Drunk? Both? Was I not enough? Were you tired of me? Or did you just want to hurt me?”

“Tired of you? Want to hurt you?” He cursed. “All right, Claire, you want to go there? You want to know why I had sex with her that night?”

“Yes!”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m dying to know!”

“Because I wanted to know how it felt to be desired again. For a woman to want me to put my hands on her. To hold her, caress her, to—” Tears filled his eyes. “I wanted to feel again what you felt for me . . . before we lost Bryan.”