“Johnson, Duke, and Williams. Michelle speaking. How can I help you?” I greeted, answering the constantly ringing phone.
It was another busy day on the job. The phone seemed to be ringing off the hook all day. What in the world was going on? It seemed as if everyone was looking for an attorney for one reason or another and they were calling my bosses non-stop. It was only nine o’clock, and I had already scheduled twelve appointments between the three partners that ran the law firm.
“I would like to speak to Terrence Williams.” the female caller informed me.
“May I ask what this is in reference to?”
“It is a personal matter. Is he available?” the caller asked with an obvious attitude.
I took a long, deep breath. I didn’t feel like telling this woman off, so I slowly counted to ten and spoke again.
“Mr. Williams is seeing another client right now. Would you like to speak to someone else? Bradley Duke and Thomas Johnson have some available slots.”
“No. I want to speak with Terrence.” the woman shouted.
“Ma’am he is busy at the moment. Can I take a message?”
“Put Terrence on this phone right now! I’m sure y’all don’t want me coming up there to start any trouble, so you better put him on the phone.”
Rolling my eyes in irritation, I put the caller on hold and called back to Mr. Williams. I sat there tapping my finger against the desk as the phone rang. The call was answered on the fourth ring.
“Michelle, I am in the middle of something right now. I told you to hold all my calls until further notice.” he said.
“I know Mr. Williams. There is a woman on the line insisting that she speaks to you right now. I suggested one of the other attorney’s, but she insists on talking to you. She sounds quite upset. Should I send her through?”
Sighing heavily, he replied, “I know exactly who it is. Send her through.”
I switched back to the caller and transferred her to Mr. Williams’s line and slammed the phone in its base. I massaged my forehead trying to soothe a pounding headache that I felt coming on. I got up from my desk and made my way to the lady’s restroom.
“Sheila, I’m stepping away from my desk for a second. Can you answer any calls that might come through?” I asked, passing my co-workers desk.
“Sure hon.” Sheila replied, popping her head up from the book entitled “Love, Lies and Heartbreak,” she had been engrossed in reading.
I grimaced in pain as I walked down the hall. When I made it to the restroom, I walked inside and leaned against the door. I glanced at myself in the mirror at my red eyes. The pounding in my head was becoming worse by the second. I walked over to the sink and turned on the water. I cupped my hands under the stream and filled my hands with water. I leaned my face towards the sink as I splashed the cold water on my face. I turned off the water and snatched a few paper towels from the dispenser and patted my face dry. Life seemed to be beating me down. My job was stressful dealing with rude and obnoxious clients and the relationship between my father and I was a never-ending battle.
I stared sadly in the mirror at my reflection. On the outside, I looked happy and content, but inside I was being torn to pieces. Jason’s and my relationship was going great. We were making plans for our wedding and life was good. It had been a month since he had proposed to me and I couldn’t help but smile every time I looked down at the beautiful diamond that graced my finger. My baby loved me so much, and I loved him too, but my situation was stressing me out. I want to tell him the truth, but I know he will never accept me. The fact that I have held on to this secret for so long is eating at me. It is literally eating me alive. I have been losing weight because I’m so stressed. Jason thinks that I am trying to get into better shape, but it’s the stress that is making me lose my appetite. I am putting on this act for everyone as if I am happy, but inside I am dying.
The guilt of what I am doing sometimes gets to me so much I feel like puking. It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about my truth, so I try to block it from my mind. I try my best to pretend that everything is good and that our love will withstand any turbulence thrown in our way, but I know that’s not the truth, so I keep my secret hidden deep inside. Only the people closest to me know the truth, and I want to keep it that way. All that truly matters is that I love Jason and he loves me too. As long as I held on to that knowledge, then everything would be ok. I tossed the paper towels into the trash can and exited the restroom. As I passed back by Sheila’s desk, she had her head buried back into the book she had been reading.
I returned back to my desk and slid into my seat. I got back to work entering client’s information into the system. I glanced down at my phone when I saw the screen light up. I had received a text from Jason. I reached for my phone and pulled up the message.
Jason: Hey babe.
Me: Hey baby. How is work?
Jason: It’s good. What are you doing for lunch?
Me: I don’t know. I haven’t decided. Why? What’s up?
Jason: I wanted to stop by and pick you up for lunch.
Me: “Oh, really?
A huge grin spread across my face at his message. So, he wanted to take me to lunch? How sweet! I squirmed around in my chair excitedly. I was going to have lunch with my baby.
Me: Sure baby. That sounds fun. Where do you want to go?
Jason: I don’t know. You choose.
Me: Ok. I will. What time should I expect you?
Jason: I will be there about twelve. Is that cool?
Me: Yes. That’s fine. See you then.
Jason: Love you, baby.
Me: Love you too.
I put my phone on vibrate and tossed it into my purse. I looked up at the time on the clock mounted on the wall. It was only 9:30. I still had a little while to wait for my lunch date. I couldn’t wait! I loved anytime I got to spend with Jason. We had the best conversations, and we got along so great. I can’t say that we have ever had a major disagreement. Now, I’m not saying that we agree on everything, but we have never had disagreements that had us at odds with each other. Usually, we can work out whatever issue we are having, and things would go back to normal. We can never stay mad at each other for too long. I loved that about our relationship. We can talk to each other about whatever. I got back to work so that the day would pass by faster. I didn’t want to be constantly looking at the clock willing the time to speed ahead. If I did that, then I would never get to see my baby.
******
Jason pulled the car into the parking lot of Amada and put the car into park. He turned off the car and pulled the keys from the ignition. I had a taste for some Mexican food, so here we are. Jason leaned over and placed a peppermint flavored kiss on my lips. I kissed him back in response and licked my lips when we finally pulled apart. We smiled at each other before exiting the car. We met in front of the car and Jason clasped his hand in mine as we walked hand in hand. I pulled open the door to the restaurant, and the hostess immediately greeted us. We asked for a table for two, and we waited until our table was ready. When it became available, the hostess walked us to our table, and we sat down to browse the menu.
“What do you have a taste for?” Jason asked, sliding his finger down the neatly organized choices on the menu.
“Hmm… I’m thinking of having the Amada cheese steak and a green salad. What about you?”
“That sounds good. I’ll have the same thing.” He said, pushing the menu aside.
“Get your own food,” I said, laughing.
“What? I am getting my own food.”
“No. You’re copying me.”
“Well, I like what you’re having.”
“How do you know you will like it? You’ve never had it.”
“If you’re going to eat it, then it must be good.”
“So, if I ate a goose shit sandwich would you eat it too?” I asked, smirking.
“I just might.” He replied, smirking back at me.
I burst into laughter at his silliness. That’s how things were with us. We were playful, and I loved it. The waitress came over to our table a few minutes later to take our order. She wrote our order on her pad, including our drink orders of iced tea and left to have it prepared.
“So, baby I have some good news,” Jason announced, smiling at me.
“What’s up?” I asked my eyebrow raised in curiosity.
“I got a phone call from Richard today. You remember him, right?”
“That’s the guy you were talking to about that building?”
“Yes, that’s him. Well, he called me back today, and he wants to make a deal with me.”
“Oh, baby that’s great,” I exclaimed excitedly.
“You know what that means, right?” he replied, grinning.
“You will be able to open your gym if y’all can come to an agreement, right?”
“That’s right. I hope he is willing to work something out with me. I want that building. I have so many ideas flowing through my mind. There is so much I can do with that place.”
“Well, I know that you guys will come to a reasonable amount. I know that you want this opportunity. I will be praying for you.”
“Thank you, baby. Your support means so much to me.”
“You know I will always have your back,” I replied, beaming a huge smile his way. “That’s why I’m going to be Mrs. Carter.”
“Right you are.” he agreed.
About fifteen minutes later, the waitress returned with our food and drinks in tow. She placed our items on the table in front of us. She asked if there was anything else we needed, then she left to service other customers. Jason and I laughed and talked over lunch as we talked about our future plans. Jason’s vision for starting his gym was something he had always dreamed of. He was passionate about fitness, so him starting his own gym was fitting. I laughed aloud as I watched Jason lick the sauce from his sandwich. It had leaked onto his hands. His tongue snaked between his fingers as he licked. Once he was done, he licked his tongue in my direction playfully. I burst into fits of giggles at his silly behavior. Jason was such a teddy bear. He was playful, and I loved that about him.
I paused mid-laughter and dug around in my purse searching for my phone when I felt it vibrating. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen. It was my father calling. Why in the hell was he calling me? He made it clear that he had nothing to say to me, so I couldn’t understand why he was calling me right now. I started to ignore the call, but the thought flashed through my mind that something could be wrong with my mom.
With my voice quivering, I answered, “Hello?”
My heart was caught in my throat as I waited for him to speak. Thoughts of my mother being dead or in a hospital or something plagued my thoughts. I prayed silently that nothing was wrong with my mother. I would die if something happened to her.
“Michael. I just found out from your mother that you are getting married. Does your soon to be husband know the truth about you? I’m sure that your name being Michael is something he would like to know, don’t you think?”
“Wh-what are you talking about?” I stammered caught off guard.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t act stupid with me.” he yelled.
My voice was stuck in my throat. My hands trembled as rage coursed through my body. I couldn’t respond. Not only was I shocked about the reason for my father’s call, but I was also thinking how dare he call me inquiring about my relationship? It wasn’t any of his business. Before I could find my voice, he continued.
“You better tell that man the truth or I will. You are wrong for what you are doing. You are a man, and that man needs to know the truth. You disgust me, and I wish you were never born. You are no child of mine. Tell that man the truth or I will.” he said, slamming the phone down in my ear.
I sat there in stunned silence. The dial tone hummed in my ear as I still held the phone. Suddenly, I had lost my appetite. I couldn’t finish my meal. How dare he threaten to tell Jason? Who was he to try and dictate my life? He had some nerve. I wiped my mouth on my napkin as I tried to flush my father’s words from my thoughts. I wasn’t going to worry about him. He didn’t know Jason, so I wasn’t worried about him telling him anything. I would tell Jason in my own time. No one was going to tell me what to do in my own life and relationship. My father could go to hell for all I cared. I was having a wonderful lunch with my fiancé, and he had to ruin it. Just like he did everything else in my life.
“Who was that?” Jason asked.
“Nobody.” It was a wrong number.” I lied.
“Oh, ok.”
In my mind, my father was a nobody. He was a nobody to me. He could threaten me all he wanted. I wasn’t going to waste my time worrying about him. I had a good life, and I was going to continue living it.