Epilogue
I swerved recklessly into the parking lot of the Marriott hotel and searched for an open parking spot. A car was backing out of a spot, and I hurriedly zoomed into the space before anyone else could take it. I turned the car off and snatched up my purse, then I jumped out slamming the door hard. I rushed into the front of the hotel and walked up to the front desk. I asked for my husband’s room number and made my way to the elevator. I jammed the button to open the doors as I tapped my foot impatiently. Finally, the doors opened, and I rushed into the car. I pressed the number 4 and waited as the doors slowly closed. I leaned my body against the wall as thoughts plagued my mind. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t be true. But it was. It was all true. Everything that Karmen had disclosed to me was true. It was all making sense to me now. The pieces of the puzzle fit into place.
As soon as the doors opened, I hurried out of the elevator and scanned the doors searching for Melvin’s room. I looked from left to right as I walked down the long hall. I finally found the door I was looking for halfway down the hall. I lifted my fists and started beating on the door. I could hear shuffling behind the door, but I continued to beat until it finally swung open. Melvin stood there clad in a pair of boxers and no shirt. He rubbed his eyes sleepily as he looked out at me in confusion.
“L-Lucille?” he asked.
I didn’t answer him as I charged into the room pushing him aside. I slammed the room door and stomped into the living area. It was a total mess. Melvin had clothes strewn everywhere. There were beer bottles littering the table and the top of the dresser. Some of the bags that still held his belongings lay dumped on the couch with all its contents spilling out.
“How could you?” I yelled, pointing my finger in Melvin’s direction. “How could you be such a hypocrite?”
“What? What are you talking about woman?”
“Since Michelle was old enough to realize that she was different, I listened to you berate and degrade her. I watched you beat her to make her “normal.” I comforted and soothed her when you beat her so bad that she had welts all over her body. I watched you force your daughter to be something she wasn’t when all along you were covering for your own demons. You were taking your frustrations out on her because you didn’t know how to deal with your own sexuality.” I shouted.
“Lucille, you’re not making any sense. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” he protested.
“You bastard! You know exactly what I’m talking about. The same lifestyle you ridiculed your child for living, you lived that same exact lifestyle.”
At my statement, Melvin’s face grew pale. His eyes grew big with terror as my words sunk in.
“Yeah, that’s right. I know your dirty little secret. Karmen told me all about your history. All the dirty, gritty details. She left no stone unturned. I know it all.”
“Wait Lucille, I can explain. It’s not what it looks like.” Melvin protested, raising his hands high in the air.
“It’s not what it looks like?” I screamed. “Are you serious?”
“Just let me talk to you. I will explain everything.”
“I don’t need you to explain anything. I heard your explanation already.” I yelled, tossing a mini recorder at him.
His eyes bulged twice their size as he caught the recorder before it hit the floor.
“Wh-what is this?” he stammered.
“Take a listen, and you’ll see.” I demanded, glaring evilly at him.
He pressed the green play button, and the recording came to life.
“I never stopped loving you, Karmen. I wanted to come back to Virginia, but I was too ashamed. My family had disowned me, and I felt as if there was no reason for me to go back. I moved here to Philadelphia and started a new life. I wanted to put Virginia behind me and never look back. I met Lucille, and I fell in love with her, but I never stopped loving you.” Melvin’s voice boomed through the speakers.
“If you never stopped loving me why have you been living a lie? Why have you been pretending to be this straight, family man when you know that’s not who you truly are?”
“It’s complicated Karmen, and you know that. It may be 2017, but people feel the same way they did back then about trans-sexual and the whole LGBTQ community. It is more open now, but it is still frowned upon. It was easier for me to find a real woman to settle down with and to keep my secret past where it belonged.”
“So, being with Lucille makes you happy?”
“No, but I know it’s the right way to live. I have to be honest with you though. Whenever I made love to her, I always imagined that it was you. I never saw Lucille when I looked at her. I always saw you. I don’t know why, but I just did.”
“So, does your wife know that you think of another woman when you are with her?”
“Of course, she doesn’t. That’s something she doesn’t need to know.”
“Stop the tape!” I demanded.
Melvin pressed the pause button and looked up at me with eyes filled with remorse.
“Lucille, I’m so sorry.”
“So, you mean to tell me that all these years you have been pining for someone else. Not only was it someone else, but this person is a trans-sexual woman?”
“Putting his head down in shame, Melvin mumbled, “Yes.”
“The reason you treated our child like shit was because you were trying to cover up your own demons. You caused my child to be killed because you weren’t man enough to face your past. I can’t believe this shit.”
“I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn’t know how to deal with my insecurities.”
“So, you made your child suffer instead? You made her suffer for what you couldn’t deal with?”
“I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry.”
“Press fast forward,” I commanded in a shaky voice as tears streamed down my face.
He did as he was told and he stopped the tape when I told him to. I watched as his hands trembled as he listened to the sounds of his moans and groans coming out of the speaker of the recorder. His grunts and groans echoed throughout the room as he and Karmen had sex on the tape. His words were clear as day as he professed his love for Karmen as they made love. He looked at me, and I could see tears sliding down his face. The look in his eyes was full of regret, but I wasn’t moved.
“Not only did you make Michelle’s life a living hell, but you also had the nerve to cheat on me with a trans-sexual woman? You’re a fucking hypocrite!” I yelled, storming over to him.
Wait. Wait. Lucille. She was blackmailing me. She said if I didn’t sleep with her that she would tell you. I felt that I had no choice. I didn’t want to do it, but she made me. My back was against a wall.”
Laughing at his stupidity, I replied, “So, you thought sleeping with her would keep her quiet? After you know that she ousted you in front of everyone all those years ago. You thought that she was going to let this go if you had sex with her? How stupid could you be? You were so determined to keep your little secret that you would’ve done anything. Don’t tell me you didn’t want to. I didn’t hear you put up much of a fuss. You did exactly what you wanted. I’m not angry that you slept with her because I could care less. I’m angry at your audacity to judge and condemn my child when you are in love with someone who is just like Michelle. You hated her because she reminded you of your inner demons. Whenever you looked at her, she reminded you of Karmen.”
“I’m sorry Lucille. I wish I could undo things, but I can’t.”
“How ironic? Your child turns out just like the person you are so deeply in love with.” I said, laughing.
He tripped and stumbled as he tried to get out of my way. I was a raging bull headed in his direction. I struck him in the face with my purse, then I started striking him anywhere and everywhere my fists would land. I hated him and everything he stood for. He fell to the floor, and I started kicking and stomping him. I was unleashing all my years of pent up rage and frustrations out on him. My tears steadily fell as I pummeled him mercilessly. He tried with all his might to get me off him, but I held strong. All I saw was red. My vision was a haze of red as I dealt him blow after blow. I was hitting him for all the times he struck Michelle. I was hitting him for all the times I cried listening to my child pleading for him to stop beating her. I struck him for all the times he cursed and wished my child dead. I struck him for the cold and callus way he started this entire circle of events. This whole story started with him. Every bit of it was all his fault.
Melvin lay sprawled on the floor. His face was badly bruised, and his lip was busted. I stood gasping for breath as I glared down at him with all the hatred I could muster up. I bent down and retrieved my purse from the floor which I had deserted after I struck him with it. I rummaged around in it until I found what I was looking for. The recorder which had also fallen to the ground still played as Melvin’s moans and groans continued. I slowly pulled the gun from my purse and aimed it at Melvin. His eyes grew wide with fear when he recognized his own gun being pointed at him. It was a gun that we kept in the house for protection. After leaving the restaurant, I went home and retrieved it. I debated back and forth with myself on what I should do, and I came up with my solution. That’s why I was here right now. That’s why I was about to do what I was about to do. It was only right. It was only fair. Melvin had to pay.
“I didn’t protect Michelle when she was here on earth, but I am going to protect her now. I am going to get her the justice she deserves. You can’t get away with what you did.”
“L-Lucille, please, you don’t have to do this.” Melvin begged. “P-please, don’t do this. I’m begging you please.”
“Do you think that’s what Michelle said to Jason as he choked the life out of her?” I asked, smirking. “Do you think she pleaded for her life?”
“Lucille, I’ll do anything you want. Just please don’t kill me.” Melvin cried. “Things don’t have to end like this.”
Tears poured down his face as he begged and pleaded with me to spare his sorry life. I would do no such thing. Someone like him didn’t deserve mercy. Did he show my child any mercy? No. So, I won’t show him any mercy. He deserved everything that was coming to him.
“Yes, they do. I have to make amends with Michelle. I have to show her how sorry I am. I have to avenge her death. This is the last thing I can do for her as her mother.” I sobbed before I pulled the trigger.
“Nooo,” Melvin screamed.
The first bullet pierced his chest, and I watched in fascination as blood spurted. His hand grabbed at his chest in an attempt to stop the blood. His eyes grew to the size of saucers as his blood leaked through his fingers. I pulled the trigger again and the second bullet lodged itself in his throat. The gurgling sounds I heard as he choked on his blood was like music to my ears. I stared down at him as he took his last breath. My face would be the last one he saw before the devil snatched him into hell where he belonged.
“Michelle baby, I love you. Mommy loves you so much, and I’m so sorry. We will see each other again.”
Were the last words I spoke before I placed the gun to my head and pulled the trigger.