ONE thing was for sure: Andi was a stubborn one. Because even though she had right before her eyes the truth about Zander, it still didn’t enable her to put her head in a place in which she could see how to manage being a part of his life. Somehow the idea of loss of privacy and having the eyes of the world on her were terrifying enough to cancel out all signs pointing to Zander being an all-around good guy, just as her gut had been trying to convey, albeit unsuccessfully. Andi could be dogged once she set her mind to something. Shame she hadn’t set it this time to cutting the poor guy some slack and returning to him on bended knee.
Instead she dug in, focusing on doing good work and helping the children. She did have to bid farewell to Josiah, who was moving in with his family, though he would continue to attend the school, which was the closest option for him. So in reality she’d have the best of both worlds: he’d have a home, and she’d still get to spend some time with him.
She was surprised when her phone rang while she was on her hands and knees scrubbing the floors in the living quarters.
“My goodness, you are a slippery one,” Pippa said to her.
“Slippery?”
“Oh, you know what I mean,” she said. “Sneaking out under cover of darkness just to avoid facing the truth.”
“Truth?” Andi said, feigning innocence.
“About Zander. And you. And the fact that you two are perfect for each other. But for some reason you refuse to acknowledge it.”
Andi sighed. “Zander is a really sweet man,” she said. “And we’ve had a lot of fun together—”
“I think most people call that sex,” Pippa said, laughing.
Andi blushed despite being thousands of miles away from her friend. “Okay, yeah, that was pretty perfect. But Pips, it’s not my world. You know that. I’m just this shy, unassuming Yankee girl. I’m not set up for that whole royalty thing. And I’m sure his mother would hate me for any number of yet-to-be-named reasons.”
“No doubt she’d particularly loathe that you help out poor children in third world countries and feed and clothe starving homeless people.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Um, actually, no. I haven’t a clue. Forgive me if I don’t know you well enough to say this to you, but I think you are being incredibly pigheaded. And stupid. And I haven’t the slightest idea why. Zander is a great guy. He’s got a heart of gold. And he thinks the world of you. He’s all over you, Andrea, and he misses you terribly. Why are you being so skittish that you ran away to a whole other continent just to avoid him?”
Andi was silent, and in that quiet moment the friction of the scrub brush bristles on the concrete floor were amplified, reminding her that she was, for all intents and purposes, a washerwoman in an orphanage. The contradiction from her recent foray with Zander was striking. She was a reverse Cinderella. Finally she spoke.
“I’m not avoiding Zander,” she said. “I was just getting on with my life.”
Pippa burst out laughing. Andi wondered if it was such a great idea for her to use her limited phone minutes with someone who was giving her a heap of shit.
“Let me know when you’re ready to be honest with yourself, my dear,” her friend said. “Look, Andi, I totally respect you on so many levels. You’ve done wonderful work helping out in so many places. I know you’ve got a big heart that is in the right place, wanting to care for those less fortunate. But maybe it’s time for you to put that heart toward helping out a guy who is pining for you.”
“Please,” she said. “Pining schmining. Zander could have any woman in the world he wanted.”
“But that woman is you, and clearly that isn’t the case.”
“My point is he’s probably already had about three flings since I left Monaforte. No doubt I’m no longer on his radar.”
It was Pippa’s turn to be quiet for a minute. “Look, Andi, I’m afraid it’s not really my place to say this, but I’m gonna say it anyhow. And you are sworn on your life to never, ever, ever, ever tell Zander I confided in you about this.”
“Sounds downright cryptic.”
“It’s not cryptic, it’s personal. For Z. And it feels intrusive for me to tell you this. But it’s something you need to know. I’m telling you this because I’m both your friend and Zander’s. And I think it’s a crime that you’re being motivated by fear to the point that you won’t let things happen organically between the two of you.”
“Trust me, things happened very organically between the two of us. I can assure you of that.”
“Zander came over here looking for you,” Pippa said. “He was devastated when he got your note. I’ve never seen him in such a state. Andrea, the man had tears in his eyes. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him cry.”
Andrea placed her scrub brush on the ground and sat back against the hard wall, pressing her hands to her face.
“Impossible,” she said to Pippa, but with no conviction behind her words. “I’m not the girl men fawn over or cry for. I’m just not.”
“Well, this time, like it or not, it looks like you are.”
“I have to ask you something,” Andi said.
“Fire away.”
“The Prince’s Trust,” she said. “That’s really Zander, not Adrian?”
“Of course it’s Zander’s charity,” Pippa said. “It’s been his passion for years. Everybody knows that.”
Andi shook her head, although it wasn’t as if Pippa could see it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just assumed you knew that. Everyone knows that. It’s Z’s thing. He might be a wild child, but he’s also got the most generous heart of any man I know. The very same heart you left in tatters, I might add.”
“Touché. I deserved that.”
“Just calling it like I see it,” Pippa said. “Look, Andi. It’s not too late. You could still get back here for the wedding. Stay at my place if you want to remain under the radar a bit. It’s going to be a huge party. Much of it will be protected from the paparazzi that seem to have scared you off. Besides, there will be so many VIP types here, no one will pay any attention to you.”
Andi shook her head. “It’s not that I care about people paying attention to me,” she said. “That makes me sound sort of narcissistic. It’s just that those photographers hunting me down kind of creeped me out. It’s nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It kind of terrifying.”
“I get it. But it doesn’t make a world of sense to then shut out Zander forever because of it. These things can be dealt with.”
Andi heaved a sigh. “I don’t know. I’ve committed myself here for several months. They need me here.”
“Zander needs you here.”
“Yes, but he’s a little bit more self-sufficient than the children at this place.”
“You know it’s okay to not be everything for everyone. And it’s okay to take care of you every now and then. You don’t have to be selfless twenty-four seven.”
Andi rolled her eyes. “I’m not being selfless. I’m probably downright selfish because I get more enjoyment helping out here than they derive from me being here.”
“Andi, I’m just saying don’t be a fool and give up on something that could be really special in your life because you’re afraid. What is fear but just projecting out into the unknown? You have no idea how things will turn out, so why have you predetermined that being with Zander will be disastrous to you? Give him—give the two of you—a chance, would ya?”
Andi sat against the wall, rolling her head back and forth against it, frustrated by her inability to make a decision she’d be happy with.
“All I can say is I’ll think about it.”
Pippa squealed. “Great! I’ll count on you being here.”
“That’s not what I said, Pips. I’ll consider it, but I’m not making any commitments. So don’t go telling Zander I’m coming and then he’ll expect it and it might not happen.”
“All right, fine. I’ll keep my mouth shut. But I expect you here nevertheless.”
“Don’t hold your breath. No promises. Now, back to my scrubbing.” With that, she hung up the phone, choosing her current life over her fantasy life.