| |
Brown eyes.
Blue eyes.
I stare at her.
She stares at me.
But there is nothing there. No recognition.
She’s empty.
At least, her eyes are.
She’s staring at me like the very sight of me terrifies her. Like seeing someone like me, is her worst fuckin’ nightmare. Her eyes have hesitantly searched over my body, my tattoos, my scars. It took long, too long, for her to meet my eyes, and when she did, it wasn’t the reaction I’d been fuckin’ prayin’ for, for the last ten years.
Seeing her, it was the only thing that kept me holding on.
Clutching onto the small chance that she might know who I am when I found her again.
If I found her again.
It was always a big if.
But I wasn’t going to rest until I got answers, alive or dead, I needed to know what happened to the girl who took my heart when we were younger, and kept it for well over a decade. She owns every single piece of who I am. Nobody else has ever come close.
And now she’s lookin’ at me like she doesn’t know who I am.
Like I wasn’t her first kiss.
Her first boyfriend.
Her first love.
Her first heartbreak.
The man who took her innocence.
The man who destroyed her.
The man who spent ten years trying to find her, because of one pathetic, pitiful mistake.
I ruined her.
And now she has no idea who I am.
Not a single damned clue.
That hurts almost as much as losing her.
But not nearly as much as spending ten years wondering if she was alive or dead.
Dead, I could deal with. I could mourn and move on.
Alive, I couldn’t.
Because alive meant she could be anywhere.
Alive meant anyone, could be doing anything, to her.
And that thought, that thought haunted me far more than anything.
Fuck, it was like living my worst nightmare.
Every single fuckin’ day.