AC: Hello, police? I need to report a prowler.
PD: (alarmed) Is he on the premises? Are you in any danger? Do you want me to dispatch a squad car?
AC: No, I don’t think he’s here now. But whoever it was snuck into my room and cleaned it!
PD: <laughter> I’m sure it was your mother, dear.
AC: NO! My mother swore she would never set foot in my room again until I had cleaned it up myself.
PD: Well, mothers can be strange, dear.
AC: Stop calling me dear! This is an emergency. I have some weird creeper sneaking into my room and organizing my stuff.
PD: Well, if you get tired of him—or her—send the perp in my direction. I could use someone like that.
AC: You’re laughing at me!
PD: No, no. Just jealous.
AC: So you’re not going to help me? Thanks for nothing!
<hangs up>