When Alex came home this afternoon, I went out to talk, as is now our habit. I was sitting on the bed and we had exchanged a few pleasant words when Bennett moped into the room.
The big lout didn’t even knock, so I had no time to do a scurry. Stuck, I did the only other thing I could and froze, pretending I was naught but some doll or toy.
The lad was dressed all in black. He had papers in his hand, so I was fair sure he was carrying more of his pathetic verses. I felt a twinge of guilt, since his condition is entirely due to my presence.
That pity didn’t last long, given what happened next.
The wretched lad saw me, walked to the bed, and picked me up! Then he said, “Good grief, Al. Why do you have such an ugly doll?”
I wanted to bite his thumb and shout, “I’m nae a doll, you great lummox! I’m a brownie. A brownie, fierce and proud!”
But I could not, of course.
Then Alex made it worse by telling him, “Oh, it’s like those troll dolls I used to collect…you know, so ugly that it’s cute.”
I was quivering inside by that point. Being called a doll is one thing. Being called a troll was just too much!
When he finally set me down—tossed me, actually—he inflicted his latest batch of horrid poetry on Alex, then left the room.
As soon as he was gone, I sprang to my feet and shouted in my quietest voice, “Troll! TROLL?! I am nae a troll! I’m a brownie through and through, as well you know, you wicked girl.”
“And did you want me to tell Bennett that? I could have told him that you’re a brownie and you were only acting all stiff so he wouldn’t know you were real. Would that have been better?”
I wanted to pitch a fit at that, but I knew she was right. She had saved me from a big problem.
“But why did you have to say I was a troll? Trolls are great slobbering stony things from the north. They’re a thousand times bigger than a brownie, with only a tenth of a brownie’s brain. They’d as soon step on you as say hello. I am nothing like a troll!”
“I didn’t say you were a troll. I said you were like a troll doll. Here, I’ll show you.”
She went to the big wooden chest that is crammed with her old toys and rummaged around in it a bit, throwing several things onto the floor behind her as she did.
Honestly, I don’t know if there’s any civilizing this girl.
Anyway, suddenly she turns around with this…this…naked plastic THING. It had bulging eyes, a wild spray of purple hair, a big foolish grin, a bulging belly, and a nose that looked like half a potato. I have drawn it to show how insulting this was!
“You think I look like that?” I shrieked.
“Don’t be silly, Angus. You don’t look like this at all. I’m just showing it to you as an example of something that’s so ugly it’s cute.”
“So which am I? Ugly or cute?”
“Neither. You’re mostly just annoying.”
And that was all we said for the night.