Yea, Sister Helen. Nay, Sister Helen. Whatever you say, Sister Helen. The words slid off Gabrielle’s tongue with ease. Sister Helen’s voice was a constant drone in her ears, but Gabrielle listened only enough to determine whether yea or nay was the proper answer. The months had edged by drearily from the steaming hot month of August through the crisp days of autumn.
The bountiful harvest months of September and October had been a blessing to both the village and to Gabrielle. All able-bodied workers went to the fields and garden plots to harvest the end-of-the-season crops. Gabrielle had thrown herself into the work of picking the beans left on the vines to dry and digging the sweet potatoes. If the day was warm, Sister Helen often had to rest in the shade a while at midday. And while she was not out of Gabrielle’s sight, she was at least too far away to count Gabrielle’s every breath.
Other sisters were then free to step up beside Gabrielle and speak of the wind in the trees, the bounty of their harvest, what they might have on their table that evening in the biting room. Quiet talk that meant nothing but that was somehow soothing to Gabrielle’s ears after so many weeks of Sister Helen’s faultfinding.
After the gardens had been stripped of every useful product, she and Sister Helen were sent into other fields to help harvest the seed crops for sale in the spring to the people of the world. The work was tedious, especially with the smaller seeds such as the tobacco seeds where Gabrielle could hold more seeds in one hand than were needed to grow plants for several acres. She liked separating out one of the seeds and holding it on her fingertip. She’d stare at it and think of the mustard seed the Lord had spoken about to his disciples in the Bible. If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
The tobacco seed was not much more than a black speck on her finger and even tinier than a mustard seed. Silently she asked the Eternal Father to give her the faith of that tiny tobacco seed so that she could keep praying, keep singing, keep feeling some measure of joy. She liked repeating the last phrase of the Lord’s words. Nothing shall be impossible unto you.
If only she knew what things the Lord wanted her to see as possible. Enduring Sister Helen’s constant presence by her side? Using her hands to serve and her mind to worship here at Harmony Hill forevermore? Ridding her mind of thoughts of the doctor? Finding in her heart the proper sisterly love for Sister Helen?
Every morning when the rising bell rang, and Gabrielle sat up in her bed and looked down at the heavy string connecting Gabrielle’s wrist and Sister Helen’s, she thought the last might be the most impossible. Sister Helen had insisted they be tied together at night ever since the morning Sister Esther had hanged herself and Gabrielle had been drawn to the kitchen by the scream that had torn through her soul.
When Gabrielle had promised not to go from the sleeping room again without waking Sister Helen, Sister Helen had scoffed at her vow. “If you were trustworthy, Sister Gabrielle, you wouldn’t be under constant supervision to begin with. But ye are not trustworthy, and therefore you must submit to whatever I decide you must do to satisfy the rules of constant supervision. And I can’t be staying awake all night to make sure you aren’t slipping out to meet someone of the world.”
So Sister Helen had tied the string to Gabrielle’s arm. “And don’t think you can untie it without me knowing. I will know.”
The string was a constant irritation, a constant reminder of her fall from grace among the Believers. The first few nights she had feared the string would drive her into madness, but then every time she had felt the irritation of the string, she’d said a prayer in her heart and recited parts of 1 Corinthians 13. Charity suffereth long, and is kind. And she was thankful for the scriptures she had committed to her heart. The Bible verses comforted her and kept her sane when she could not sleep.
And slowly, prayer by prayer, the Eternal Father helped her find a way to keep loving her brethren and sisters even though Sister Helen still stood on the outside of her charity. The Lord did help her mash down her ill feelings toward Sister Helen so that she was open to learning from her when Sister Helen began gathering her medicinal herbs.
Sister Helen carefully guarded her knowledge of the physic herbs and cures even though the elders and eldresses had often urged her to teach one of the younger sisters her healing secrets. She claimed none of the sisters had shown the aptitude or proper dedication to be so entrusted as yet and that she was praying Mother Ann would send her one so gifted.
She certainly had no thought of sharing any of her knowledge with Gabrielle, but at the same time she had not wanted to give over the watching of Gabrielle to any of the other sisters. She said when she started a duty, she was bound to see it through no matter how arduous that duty proved to be. So when the first frosts signaled the coming of winter, she had to begin gathering and drying the herbs and roots she might need before spring even though Gabrielle was at her side.
Again Gabrielle felt the answer to prayer lifting her spirits. When she followed Sister Helen into the woods, Gabrielle could feel her spirit billowing out inside her once more. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed her times of prayer among the trees. She’d thought she had simply sought her prayer place among the trees because of the solitude, but now helping Sister Helen gather her roots, Gabrielle realized her spirit needed the sight of the trees towering over her head. She needed the smell of the fallen leaves and the acorns and squirrels. She needed the sight of fluttering wings as the birds flew between the branches.
She needed the feeling of stepping nearer the doctor. Even though she knew he was not at his cabin, for Elder Caleb said the militia was still in the North, she felt closer to Brice in the woods. She stood in the shadow of the trees and remembered the warmth of his body standing beside her, the gentleness of his hands, the love in his eyes. And she felt no shame for her thoughts even after Sister Helen frowned at her and told her to quit dragging her feet.
“We’re not out here just to take a saunter through the woods. We have work to do, Sister Gabrielle.” She handed Gabrielle a trowel. “Now I don’t want to put up with the first bit of contrariness. You dig where I tell you and don’t ask a lot of useless questions.”
“Yea, Sister Helen,” Gabrielle said quietly. “Show me where to dig.”
So even though she did not want to share any of her knowledge, Sister Helen nevertheless had to show Gabrielle where the roots were. Then while feigning a lack of interest, she watched to see how Sister Helen labeled the roots. Gabrielle had never felt drawn to mixing medicine potions or doing physic healing, but she was open to learning. Besides, the handling of the roots made yet another connection in her thoughts to Brice. Wherever he was with the army, he too was surely digging his own roots for healing.
On the second day in the woods, Sister Helen led the way deep into the woods, claiming to be searching for a specific root. Gabrielle realized long before they reached the clearing around the doctor’s cabin where Sister Helen must surely be leading her and why. Sister Helen was watching her sharply, hoping to catch her in some fault, but Gabrielle had had much practice in the last weeks of hiding her feelings, so when she saw the cabin through the trees, she simply said, “Are we close to the settlement?”
“Nay, Sister Gabrielle. Ye know that is not true.”
“It has been many years since I have been away from our village. I have forgotten the directions to the settlement.” Gabrielle turned innocent eyes on Sister Helen before she looked back at the cabin. Vines were growing up on the steps and some of the poles on the small corral next to the cabin were fallen and broken. “It doesn’t look as if anyone has been here for some time,” she said. “I hope they didn’t encounter misfortune.”
“Only the misfortune of going to war. Of course that could mean he has died.”
“Oh?” Gabrielle didn’t allow Sister Helen’s words to touch her mind. She would know if the doctor had died. She didn’t know how, but she was sure she would. She looked at Sister Helen. “How is it you know who lives here?”
“Don’t try pulling your innocent tricks with me, Sister Gabrielle. We both know whose cabin this is. You may think you can lie to all the others, but I know you. I know the sin in your heart. I saw your sin when you stepped into the shadows with that heathen doctor.”
“Yea, Sister Helen.” Gabrielle kept her face expressionless. “I would never try to lie to you. It would be useless.”
“Your heart is black with the sin of deception,” Sister Helen said.
Gabrielle didn’t lower her eyes. “I have no desire to deceive you. I only have the desire to pay my penance and regain the trust of my brethren and sisters.”
“You have desire, all right. The wrong kinds of desires. I see them burning in your eyes.”
“I know not of what you speak.”
“So ye say, Sister. So ye say. But I have seen many of the world. I can smell worldly sins on one such as you.”
Gabrielle just stared at her a moment before she said, “Should we not be seeking out the roots you need before night begins to fall?”
Sister Helen’s face turned dark red, and Gabrielle thought for a moment the woman was going to strike her. Instead Sister Helen turned on her heel and stalked back into the trees away from the doctor’s cabin without another word.
Gabrielle followed her without looking over her shoulder at the cabin. She had no need to look at it. The doctor was in her heart. Not in the deserted cabin. And somehow she knew that wherever he was, he was suffering just as much as she was.