The door to the car flew open, and biting air crashed over Joanna.
“Are you crazy?” Jake’s voice boomed over the roar of the wind. “What are you trying to do? Kill yourself?” He gripped her forearm, pulling her from the stalled vehicle.
Joanna stepped out into a snowdrift that was deeper than the top of her boots. Snow slid down inside the lining. “I’m freezing….” She rubbed her hands together, trying to rid herself of the numbness. “Thank God, you found me.”
“Yes, do thank God because He’s the only reason I found you. I could barely see your car down in this ditch from the road.” He put his arm around her shoulders for support. “Are you all right?”
“Yes. I haven’t been out here very long.”
“It doesn’t take long to freeze to death in this kind of weather, Joanna,” he responded sharply. “We’ve got to get home.”
“But the car…” She glanced over her shoulder at the stranded vehicle.
“We’ll take care of it tomorrow. Let’s go,” he ordered.
The wind howled around her ears, and she gripped Jake’s arm tightly as they began climbing the embankment. Trudging through the snow, every step felt heavier than the one before it. The incline was only several feet high but very steep, and it loomed like a mountain before Joanna’s eyes. Gusts of frigid air whipped her face so that she could scarcely catch her breath, and she put her gloved hand over her mouth.
At the top of the embankment, Jake stepped up onto the icy road and hauled Joanna up out of the snow. She lost her footing when her boot hit the slick pavement, and she fell against him. Reaching for the side of his car, Jake braced them from the fall as another fierce arctic blast rocked them.
Jake pulled open the driver’s door, shouting over the raging wind. “Get in! Hurry up!”
Joanna crawled into the small car, over the gearshift and onto the passenger seat. Her nearly frozen limbs restricted her to slow, awkward movements. Immediately, Jake climbed in behind the steering wheel and slammed the door to cut off the bone-chilling air. The motor was still running and the warmth from the heater filled the automobile, stinging Joanna’s fingertips.
“Give me your hands,” he instructed, and she removed the soggy gloves, letting them fall onto the floorboard. Taking her hands in his, he rubbed them briskly. Jake raised them to his mouth to blow warm breath over them, and the friction gradually caused more feeling to return to Joanna’s fingers.
“Better?”
“It hurts,” she replied.
“It will stop eventually. What in the world were you doing out in this storm?”
“Going to work,” she responded hesitantly and pulled her hands away from him.
“To work? I could have told you the only place you were going was right into the nearest ditch.”
“But this is my first day, Jake. If I don’t show up, I might lose this job.”
“Then lose it. No one can go anywhere in weather like this.” He turned on the windshield wipers and edged his car from the side of the road. “You’ve probably never driven on roads this icy before today. How could you expect to drive in an actual blizzard?”
“The weather wasn’t this bad when I started out. All of this wind and blowing snow…it came out of nowhere,” she explained.
Feeling the car slide beneath them, Joanna stared ahead into the swirling whiteness. The storm had gained intensity even in the last few minutes. “How can you see where we’re going?”
“I can’t,” he admitted, “But we can’t stay here, so I’m going to attempt to get us home.”
The car slid several feet to the side, and Jake again guided it back toward the center of the road. “This would be a good time to put one of those prayers of yours to work.”
She glanced at him to find a stern look on his face and his steady grip on the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead.
“I’m not kidding, Jo,” he replied to her questioning look. “We’ll be lucky if we don’t end up in another ditch…or worse.”
Joanna knew luck would have nothing to do with it, so pray is exactly what she did as they forged slowly homeward. Her silent prayers did not stop until they pulled safely into the driveway nearly an hour later.
“I’m tracking water all over the carpet,” Joanna said as they came through the front door. She sat down on the steps leading upstairs and began tugging unsuccessfully at one of her boots.
“Here,” Jake said as he bent down. “I’ll get it.” He removed both of her boots easily, exposing bright robin’s-egg-blue socks, soaked from melted snow. He grinned.
“I like colorful things,” Joanna defended with a shrug of embarrassment as she began peeling the socks from her wet feet.
“Obviously,” Jake replied, his smile widening. Then he disappeared into the kitchen, returning momentarily with several small towels.
He pulled the cap from her head and placed it with their coats as Joanna rubbed her damp hair briskly with one of the towels he handed to her.
“Your hair is wet, too, Jake. You didn’t even have a hat on out there.”
He ignored her comment. “You had no business going out in this blizzard.”
“I know that now. I tried to turn around when I saw that the storm was getting worse, but that’s when I slid off the road. I didn’t realize—”
“Now, you do realize how dangerous that was. You’ve got to be more careful.”
“I will from now on. I promise. Thank you for coming after me. It was foolish, I know, but the most important thing at the time seemed to be getting to work,” she admitted halfheartedly.
“Not important enough to risk your life. Few things are.” A frown creased his forehead. “What you really need is to get out of those wet clothes and into a hot bath. But the electricity is off so the pump on the well isn’t working. That translates into no water. Hot or otherwise.”
Joanna looked away from his steady gaze with obvious effort. “I—I should call Smithfield to let them know I won’t be coming in.”
“No calls tonight, Jo. In or out. The phone lines are down, too.”
Joanna rubbed the towel lightly against her hair, and she stood up. “I guess I may as well change. Is anyone with Aunt Mae?”
“Yes,” Jake replied. “Mrs. Colvert, the nurse who came in at noon is staying overnight in Mae’s room. She couldn’t make it home, and the night shift nurse couldn’t get here anyway because of the weather. You’ll want to check on Ina when you go upstairs, too. She has a migraine.”
“Probably from worrying about me, knowing Ina,” Joanna remarked. She turned and hurried up the steps.
“Joanna, is that you?” Ina’s voice called out into the hallway.
“Yes, it’s me. I’m sorry you were so worried.” She walked into the bedroom. “Is your headache a bad one?”
“Oh, it’s bad enough to keep me up here in my room for a while,” she answered. Ina adjusted the ice bag she had on her head. “Sometimes cold helps, sometimes heat. This time, nothing seems to do the trick. I guess you and Dr. Barnes will be forced to spend the evening alone together,” Ina commented with a sly grin. “The phones aren’t working, so there won’t be any interruptions from the hospital. And with the electricity off, all you need is the sun to go down for a romantic evening by candlelight.”
“Ina, it’s not that way with us,” Joanna replied.
“Oh, pshaw! The trouble with you young people is you’re too afraid of letting your feelings be known. By the time you reach my age, you’ll learn not to waste time.”
“I’m not even sure what my feelings are for him, Ina. I guess that’s part of the reason I’m here.” Joanna sighed. How much of a fool, she wondered, was she making out of herself by even being here, in Jake’s house day after day?
“Dr. Barnes is a good man, Joanna. I like him very much, and he’s much kinder, easier to work for than his grumpy father. But there’s one thing that really concerns me. I probably shouldn’t say anything about it, but…”
“Go ahead, Ina. Whatever it is, say it.”
“Well, dear, he’s not exactly open to the idea of allowing God into his life.”
“He’s not against it either,” Joanna emphasized. “He is very…undecided, I guess you could say. I’ve discussed it with him several times over the years.”
“And he’s shown interest?” Ina asked.
“He’s interested. Curious, I guess would be a better word.”
“When he told me you and Mae were coming here to stay until Mae’s health improved, one of the first things he asked me was where I went to church. He said you’d want a place to attend. So I suggested that he go with you.”
Joanna’s mouth opened in surprise. “And he said…?”
“That he might.”
“Wow,” Joanna remarked and sat down on the edge of Ina’s bed. “That’s a new development.”
Ina gave a slight shrug. “I think there’s reason to be hopeful. In many ways.”
Joanna studied her friend’s smiling face and raised an eyebrow in mock suspicion. “That migraine couldn’t be too bad, Ina, considering the amount of talking we’ve been doing.”
“But it’s bad enough to keep me out of your way for the evening,” she responded with a wink. “Now, go have a nice chat with Dr. Barnes.” She moved the ice bag from her head. “And don’t tell him my comment about his father. It’s not his fault that the man was an insufferable grouch.”
“You know, he never talks about his parents. Either one of them,” Joanna replied.
“I never knew his mother. I heard she died when Jake was a child. Andrew Vernon told me she was a very beautiful young woman.”
“Maybe I’ll ask him about her.” Joanna stood up.
“You’re going to need candles and matches, Joanna. They’re both in the bottom drawer of the hall closet.”
“Thanks, Ina. If you need anything, just say so. I’m sure I can hear you from downstairs.” She walked toward the doorway. “Thanks for the advice.”
“Any time, dear. Have a good evening.”
Joanna gathered the items she needed from the hallway closet, then went into her room to change. The light-gray corduroys and pink sweater she slipped into felt much better than the clothing she’d taken off. She put on some soft gray socks and flats before brushing her hair and heading toward Mae’s bedroom. But her aunt was sleeping again. It was getting dark outside by then, so she lit a candle and started downstairs.
“Jo, I’m in here.”
She heard Jake call to her when she reached the bottom of the steps. She walked inside the study.
“Good, you found the candles. I couldn’t locate anything but a couple of flashlights down here,” Jake said when she entered the room.
“Ina told me where they were.”
“Have a seat,” Jake offered with a slight nod of his head in the direction of the couch.
She placed the burning candle on an end table and sank down into the plump cushions of the sofa, drawing her legs up under her. The fierce, howling wind pressed against the windowpanes causing an eerie creaking sound, and the entire house shuddered under the icy assault.
“There’s tea on the table,” Jake offered. Then he turned from the fireplace to join her.
Tea. Joanna looked at the cup for a moment. Tea was Natalie Eden’s favorite drink. The doctor usually had a cup of it in her hand or sitting somewhere close by whenever Joanna had seen her at the clinic. Was Jake thinking of Natalie? Missing her on this snowy evening? She picked up the cup, warming her hands with the heat it offered. “How can we have tea?” she asked. “I thought the well wasn’t working.”
“You’re forgetting the latest in modern technology,” he said with a smile and sat down not far from her. “Bottled water. I heated it in a pan on the wood-burner in the kitchen.”
The golden firelight flickered throughout the darkened room, and Joanna watched Jake lean back against the sofa, a cup in one hand and the other arm stretched out along the back of the couch. He studied the dancing flames in silence.
“Do you think the house will be damaged from this wind?” Joanna asked.
“Not much. This place is over a hundred years old. I’m sure it’s been through worse storms than this.”
“The snow is beautiful. I’ve never seen so much of it at one time,” Joanna commented, thinking of the depths of whiteness that blanketed the land for miles around them. “It’s absolutely breathtaking.”
Jake turned his head toward her, smiling in amusement.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve thought of a foot of snow as breathtaking,” he replied, his gray eyes shining with the reflection of the fireplace.
“But it is, Jake. And you grew up around it. Didn’t you miss real winters like this when you were in South Carolina?”
“I didn’t really miss anything, until I left South Carolina,” he answered quietly.
“Do you miss working at the clinic?” she asked, curious about his statement. She couldn’t bring herself to ask if he missed Dr. Eden. The answer would likely be something she didn’t want to hear.
“Every day.”
Jake had taken over his father’s private practice with Dr. Andrew Vernon, his father’s former associate, and Joanna had thought that was what he had honestly wanted to do. His candid reply surprised her.
“Why don’t you work in a clinic here or start one yourself, if that’s the kind of work you enjoy?” She watched his face brighten as he spoke briefly of possibilities he’d considered.
“There are so many areas around here that could use another good clinic like the one in South Carolina.”
“But…why did you take over your father’s practice here if your heart wasn’t in it?”
“His dream was for us to work together and, eventually, for me to take over the practice. Of course, he never had the chance to retire. He died before I had agreed to work with him. A few months after his death, I decided I needed to come home for a while.”
She gave a quiet sigh. How awful that must have felt. “I’m sorry it happened that way,” she said softly as she watched his troubled gray eyes look past her toward the window, which displayed nothing but blackness.
She shifted positions, stretching her cramped legs out in front of her. “You’ve worked with Andrew for nearly two years. If you’re not content with it by now, don’t you think you should make a change?”
“Probably, but I keep trying to convince myself that if I stay with it long enough, eventually my heart will be in it.” He shook his head and laughed at his own statement. “I know this sounds ridiculous, but I think I’m trying to make amends with my father for not being here when he wanted me.” He looked into her eyes. “Do you know what I mean?”
“Yes.” A thoughtful smile curved her mouth. “I understand, but I doubt that your father would want you to make anything up to him. He’d want you to be happy with your own life, Jake, not try to live his.”
“I know what you’re saying is true…but it doesn’t feel that way. Dad and I never got along well together and the one thing he wanted most from me, I wouldn’t do.” Jake paused. “After he died, moving here—back to my hometown—and taking over for him seemed like the right thing to do. I think that’s what I’ve been trying to do—the right thing.”
Yes, Joanna recalled. Jake had decided to return to Indiana and had asked Natalie Eden to go with him. Joanna remembered Dr. Eden’s words. Pushing thoughts of Natalie from her mind, she offered, “So you’ve tried to practice medicine your father’s way, and you’re not happy with it. At least check into the idea of a clinic. What do you have to lose?”
“The loss of income from a private practice would be astounding, Jo.”
If Jake held any hope of a future with Natalie Eden, income was a sacrifice he’d better think twice about making, Joanna considered. She’d seen the cars and jewelry that woman owned.
But Jake continued, “If I make any major changes, I’d have to sell at least one of my father’s farms to finance it.”
“They’re not your father’s any longer. He’s gone, and whatever he left to you, belongs to you. Can you think of a better way to spend money than to invest in a clinic that would provide medical care for people who otherwise couldn’t afford it?”
“It’s not an easy decision to make,” he replied with a gentle smile. “But you can be a very convincing woman.” He touched her chin, his fingers lingering against her skin for a warm, wonderful moment.
“People should try to do what’s important to them,” Joanna said, “and working in a clinic sounds very important to you.”
“Social work means a lot to you, doesn’t it,” he stated more than asked.
“Yes. That’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve known since I was a little girl with a caseworker of my own that social work was the only job for me,” she replied with confidence. Her commitment was very real to her, and it felt good to share it with someone.
A solemn look darkened Jake’s features as he spoke. “You lived in foster care before you were adopted, didn’t you?”
“Yes, there was some moving around, but I ended up in a pretty good home.” Not particularly loving, but kind. Safe. Joanna averted her eyes to stare into the flames of the fireplace. Discussing the past was never easy.
Jake nodded silently. “Have you talked to them lately? Your adoptive parents, I mean?”
“No,” Joanna answered. “After I found out about Aunt Mae, they were very upset that I’d gone against their wishes. They haven’t answered any of my letters.”
“Maybe,” Jake began, “given enough time, they’ll change their minds.”
Joanna shook her head. “I don’t think so. They aren’t exactly lonely. They have a biological daughter who is married and has three children. She was an only child that they had late in life, and I think they adopted me more to be her playmate than because they wanted a second child.” She took a sip of her tea. “Adoptions like that normally don’t go well.”
“How old were you when your natural parents died in the plane crash?”
“Almost four,” came her quiet response. “So I was young just like you were when you lost your mother.”
“Who told you that?” he asked quietly, drawing her attention from the amber glow of the crackling logs.
“Aunt Mae, I think. Does it matter?” She was pleased he’d been so open with her all evening, but now she felt it slipping away.
“No,” he answered, wondering how much he should explain. “It’s just that…after she was gone, my father—” He stopped.
Studying the profile of his face against the firelight, Joanna refrained from asking any further questions. Tonight didn’t feel like the right time.
Then he was looking at her again, the tenderness in his eyes reaching her very soul. “Some things aren’t easy to talk about.”
“That’s very true,” she responded.
“You know,” he began as he touched her hand, linking his fingers through hers, “you really frightened me this afternoon. I thought I’d lost you out in that storm.”
“I’m sorry,” she answered, and it took all the strength she had not to lean toward him. Never in her life could she remember wanting to kiss, or to be kissed by anyone as much as she did in that moment.
Jake’s gaze lowered to her softly parted lips for a moment as a similar thought must have crossed his mind; but he raised his gaze again quickly, concentrating on her luminous brown velvet eyes.
“I’m thankful to that God you serve for keeping you safe,” he said as he released her hand and leaned back against the sofa in a more comfortable position. “Do you realize that in all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never criticized me for not going to church with you?”
Joanna ran her finger around the lip of the teacup she still held in one hand. At first, she had thought he was going to kiss her. Now, the conversation had taken a turn toward religion. He couldn’t have confused her more if he had deliberately tried.
“I don’t believe anyone should force their personal religious views on anyone else,” she replied.
“I didn’t know what to expect from you,” he said, and she felt his mood changing slowly. “Dr. Eden told me that having you live here would be like having an evangelist take up residence in my home.”
Anger instantly flushed her cheeks as she wondered what other things he and Dr. Eden had discussed concerning her. “Dr. Eden apparently has a way of exaggerating things.”
“Now, there’s the understatement of the year,” he responded, his mouth curving upward in genuine amusement.
Joanna had no intention of discussing Dr. Natalie Eden tonight. If he wanted to think about her, he could do that all by himself. In the dark. She reached for the only candle in the room. “If you’ll excuse me—”
“Don’t go,” he said, the smile gone. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Christianity is a serious matter to me, Jake. I don’t want to be teased about it,” she explained.
“Stay with me,” he urged. “I won’t tease you.”
She doubted his words, but she returned to her place on the sofa anyway, drawn to him in a way she wasn’t sure she liked.
“I’m sorry. I know church is very important to you,” he offered in a solemn voice. All humor was gone.
“Yes, church is important, but having a personal relationship with God, serving Him—those are the things that mean the most to me,” Joanna spoke softly, almost reverently.
“And how do you serve Him?” Jake’s eyes searched her face.
“I try to do what He wants me to do with my life,” she responded.
“But how do you know what He wants from you? How does anyone know?” he asked.
“Pray, read the Bible,” she began, but she had to look away from the deep gray of his distracting eyes before she could concentrate. “I try to be aware of what God-given talents I have and use them. Sometimes people aren’t sure what He wants them to do, but the important thing is that they try.” She met his eyes again only to see that the intensity of his gaze had not diminished, and her heart turned over in response.
“But you know, don’t you?” he said.
“I know part of it. My education, even my work at Smithfield is all a part of the plan.” She took a sip of her tea, then placed the cup on the table as Jake watched her movements.
“How long have you been…serious about religion?” he asked.
An involuntary smile crossed her lips as she realized he didn’t know how to say it. “I’ve been a Christian since I was twelve. Do you believe in God, Jake?”
“Yes, I don’t see how anyone in my profession could not believe.” He paused. “Sometimes when we’ve done all we can by way of medicine, surgery, whatever…sometimes all we can do is stand back and hope that God intervenes.”
“And pray,” she suggested.
Jake’s mouth straightened into a thin line. “I’m not a praying man, Jo, unless you count my feeble attempt at it today when I thought I’d never find you in that blizzard.”
Joanna’s lips parted to respond, but no words came out. Jake had prayed for her safety, and he could not have said anything that meant more. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
“Sometimes,” he said, his darkening gaze holding hers easily, “when I look at you…” Then he leaned forward, his mouth meeting hers in a kiss, gentle and far sweeter, than either of them remembered.
Instinctively, Joanna reached for him. Her arms slid tentatively around his neck as she felt his hands move against the back of her soft sweater. The lingering caress of Jake’s mouth against hers ignited a warmth that spread through Joanna slowly but steadily, and her willing response only deepened their longing for one another.
“Jo…” he spoke her name again quietly as he brought the sweet intimacy to a reluctant end. But he didn’t pull away from her. Not this time. Instead they leaned together, forehead to forehead, as they both caught their breath. “Why do I keep letting this happen?” he asked himself in no more than a husky whisper.
The truth Joanna had tried to ignore, came clearly to the surface. “Because this is what we want, Jake.”
He gave a quiet groan and pulled away from her slightly, placing a hand on either side of her face. He looked straight into her dark eyes. “Don’t say that. It’s impossible.”
“Why? Don’t you feel it, too? There’s something between us that won’t go away. No matter how much we want it to.”
“You don’t understand,” he said. She didn’t know how it felt to see a father fall apart right in front of your eyes, and all because of a lost love, he longed to say as he looked into her youthful face. Her eyes, her smile, even those soft hands that he’d pulled away from—everything spoke of her young years, her unsettled choices. What she wanted at twenty-two, she might not want at thirty-two. And it would nearly kill him, he knew, to let her go then. It was all he could do to walk away now. Without really having her. “Jo, you can’t understand how I feel about you,” he began, searching for the right words. “I’ve known you since you were eighteen—”
“I’m not a teenager anymore, Jake. I barely had the chance to be a kid, when I was a kid considering the way I grew up. I’m not immature or silly or frivolous…whatever it is you think a twenty-two-year-old should be.”
“Of course, you’re not.” She was none of those things. “You’re the hardest working, most mature twenty-two-year-old I’ve ever known.” But enough so to be sure of what she wanted in life? He doubted it.
“Then don’t make it sound so impossible. I mean, I know I’m not Dr. Natalie Eden. I’m not as attractive, as sophisticated, as well-educated—”
“She has nothing to do with us,” Jake remarked.
“Doesn’t she?” Joanna asked sharply. “She’s better for you than I am on every level. She has about a decade more experience at everything than I have—”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jake cut off her words.
“Then what is it? First you want me, then you don’t.” Joanna raised her hands in a helpless gesture.
“I always want you,” he admitted as though it would be some consolation, all the while knowing the want wasn’t half the pain that the love he was beginning to feel for her was proving to be. “I’ve never known you to do anything wrong in your life, Joanna.” Running a hand through his disheveled hair, he stood up and walked toward the fireplace. “And you’re not going to start now, not with me.”
“Is that what you think? That you’re responsible for my behavior? That I have no Christian standards, Jake?” she said tersely. “That I’d do whatever you wanted? Well, you’re mistaken.”
Jake looked over his shoulder at her with a frown. “I didn’t say that—” No, but he knew in his heart he’d thought it, worried about it—not fully trusting himself with that responsibility.
“You think it. And, why? Because I enjoy kissing you so much?” Inwardly, she cringed at the sound of her words. How she wished she hadn’t said such a childish thing, especially when she’d been trying to prove exactly how immature she wasn’t. She stood up, reaching for the candle. Thankfully, the shadows of the room hid the blush that burned her cheeks. Raising a hand to shield the flame from blowing out, she took a step toward the doorway. “I’m not some little girl you have to protect,” Joanna assured him, “I know what I’m doing, and I’m quite capable of taking care of myself.” She blinked hard, fighting the temptation to cry. She couldn’t remember ever feeling more foolish in all her life.
Jake stared at her with a melancholy expression. “I shouldn’t have let this happen between us again,” he said quietly. “Being here, alone together…I knew it wasn’t wise.”
She turned and looked into the reflection of firelight dancing in his eyes. “Don’t apologize. Just don’t think you know more about me than I do. I’m young, but I’m not a child, Jake.”
“I’m very aware of that,” he admitted as some unspoken pain shadowed his troubled expression. It seemed every time he came near her, he ended up regretting it. But none, more than tonight. “But you are so young…too young to be with someone my age.”
“I don’t think age has anything to do with this. It’s just a convenient excuse.” She gave a hopeless sigh. “If two people fall in love, what difference does it make what ages they are?”
He hesitated, measuring her words. Was she saying she loved him? At her tender age, how could she know? “Have you ever been in love?” The unexpected question came from his heart not his head, and he wished he hadn’t asked it.
“No,” she answered truthfully. Until you, she thought miserably. “But we’ve been friends for so long, Jake. I know the man you are, and I trust you. Maybe that’s what makes everything feel so different with you.”
Jake’s eyes held hers. Different, how? He wanted to know. Could it be what she felt for him would last forever? Could he trust her judgment? His father had taken that chance. And the price he’d paid had been high. Too high. “Joanna, you deserve a future with a man who thinks like you do, believes in the things you believe in. With me…you wouldn’t have that. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Her eyes were pools of tears, and the knowledge that he’d caused them brought a searing stab of guilt in his chest.
“And that’s what you think you’ll do, Jake? Hurt me?”
He flinched at the sound of her words. No, he’d never hurt her. Not intentionally. But her heart wasn’t the only one at stake. It was himself he was protecting as much as her. “I don’t want to find out.”
Joanna nodded after listening to his reply. “You’re not my guardian. You don’t have to look after me, you know.”
“No,” he agreed. Maybe a dose of honesty was his only alternative. “It’s not only you I’m protecting. It’s me, too. I don’t want to get married, settle down, have a family. Those things aren’t in my plans, Joanna.” And she made him want them.
She stared at him in astonishment, momentarily speechless in response. Just when she thought she understood his motives, he surprised her completely with the truth. “Jake…I didn’t come here with the thought of forever in my mind. I came because Aunt Mae wanted me to come.” She swallowed at the lump in her throat as her heart pounded furiously with more truth. “And I guess I came here for myself, too. I needed to know what there was—what there could be—between us. I’ve wondered since that night.”
“I’ve thought a lot about it,” he replied. Too much, he knew. “But we’re friends. I value that more than I do a passing romance.”
Joanna cleared her throat nervously. “And passing is all it would be?”
Jake looked directly into her luminous eyes. “That’s all either of us has ever known.”
“But our friendship—” she began.
“Is something I don’t want to lose, Jo. And we will,” he said and reached out, caressing her cheek, “if we let this happen.”
His eyes, dark with anguish, mesmerized her. She raised a hand, her fingers covering his where they touched her face.
“I’m sorry, Jo.”
She nodded and lowered her hand back to her side, watching him turn from her to return to his place near the crackling logs. There he stood, staring into the flames.
She took a deep breath of reality. This was the end of whatever she’d hoped for. It felt final. Painful, but final and maybe that was good. Jake couldn’t make his heart feel something it wouldn’t feel. She wouldn’t want him to try. More hot tears burned her eyes. She blinked hard, wishing them away.
“Good night, Jake,” was all she could say. Then Joanna left him standing in the glow of the firelight…alone. Which was how it should be, she reminded herself as she climbed the stairs. That’s how he wanted it. Maybe now he would feel as alone as she did at this very moment.