Danny tore off the covers. His bare feet hit the cold, hardwood floor. The sharp sensation was a welcome relief to his sweat‐soaked body. He walked into the bathroom and dried himself off. Sleep was fleeting. Marnie's words haunted him, echoing over and over behind closed eyes. Just leave her alone…
The bedroom felt too confining. He grabbed his robe. Seeking solace, he went into the living room and opened the sliding door to the terrace, letting cool air waft in. Danny turned around and took a seat at the baby grand. Lightly placing fingers on the keys, he closed his eyes. When a spark flared from deep within, he began to sing.
“Wait for me…” His hands flew across the piano lightly touching the white keys. “Just above the clouds, I dream of an angel. But she doesn't see how she lights up my world. No, she doesn't see how I fall on my sword for her. She doesn't even see… Me.” The rhythm intensified as he held the notes of the ivory keys. “But I love that girl. I'll lay down my whole world. Fly up to the clouds.”
A beautiful voice twined in harmony with him as he sang the last note. Danny swiveled around on the bench. He grinned at the sight of Marnie, eyes closed, swaying her hips against the doorway, her hands piled atop her head.
“So you can dance.”
Jumping a foot, as if he had electrocuted her, she stopped singing and opened her eyes.
“I'm alright when no one's looking.”
“Did I wake you?”
She shook her head and made a beeline for the terrace.
“It's kind of cold out there.” Danny came up behind her. He took his robe off and placed it around her shoulders. He immediately regretted the act. His body went from warm to frozen in seconds. He wore nothing but a pair of skintight boxer shorts. His nuts were going to freeze out here. He started to leave, but he realized he'd better stay and make sure she wasn't going to do anything crazy like jump over the balcony.
A searing pain crept over his right eye as the craziness of the past few weeks swam across his vision. He shook his head. He couldn't concentrate on that. That was the past. This was the present. And the here and now is what mattered.
“So why are you out here?”
Marnie looked up and smiled at him. “It's quiet.”
That's when he heard. It sounded like a wild bear, but Danny knew the unmistakable sound of his brother's snoring.
“I'm sorry, but if I wake him, he just rolls over and it gets worse.” He looked at her smiling eyes and on cue they burst into laughter.
“I don't know where to even begin thanking you for fixing things with Nia. No one's ever gone to bat for me before. You've really had my back lately, and I can't thank you enough.”
“Well, you saved me from being thrown in the nuthouse, so I had to repay you somehow.”
“Marnie, you're one hell of a girl.”
“No,” she moaned, her face wrinkling in obvious pain. “Don't start telling me things like that. You'll start making me think I'm special.”
But you are.
She turned her back from the balcony and slid down the wall and sat with her knees gathered under her chin.
Danny followed suit, breathing in sharply, as his skin hit the cold slate.
He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. The moon highlighted her violet irises, and ignited a hunger within him.
“You are special. Don't let anyone tell you different.”
She shifted her gaze from his, and a sense of loneliness came over him.
“So the song you were singing, is it going to make the next album?”
“No.”
“Why? I liked it. It had some substance for a change.”
She smiled at him and ran her tongue across her teeth. It amazed him how sexy she could be. How had he not noticed it? He had always felt a physical attraction to her, but something was different about her. Or was it him? He found himself wondering what it would be like to bring her to ecstasy. What would it take for him to keep that smile on her face, to make her eyes light up?
“I only write things that sell. I was just letting off some creative steam in there.”
He took her right hand and began tracing circles on her palm.
She quickly snatched her hand away. It wounded him, but he remained silent. Affection was hard for her. Her brother had helped him to finally understand why she always flinched at the slightest touch. Performing meaningless sexual acts was probably easy for her. But hand holding, affection, or intimacy period, must be hard for her. He vowed to go slowly if she showed any signs of wanting him.
“Marnie, look at me.”
“No. I can't, I'll fall. You have this way about you. People, especially with women, they give you whatever you want when you ask,” she whispered.
He ran his finger across the nape of her neck. A delicious whimper escaped her lips. He let his hand glide lazily up to her chin and lightly nudged it toward him.
“I could catch you if you fall,” Danny said.
Tears brimmed at the rim of her eyelids.
“I could make you happy,” he continued.
He brought the back of his finger softly across the side of her face and inched closer to her.
“I'm not interested in kissing you.”
Danny let his hand fall.
“Tell me more about Emily,” Marnie said.
Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. The last thing he wanted to think about was Emily.
“What do you want to know?”
“How did you meet her?”
“Well, she was a model, and I met her at a photo shoot. It was my first magazine interview, and she was just finishing her shots when the editor brought me in. She tripped over my foot and—”
“The rest is history,” she finished for him.
“Exactly. Now your turn.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. Tell me about the first guy who stole your heart.”
“I'll let you know when I meet him.”
“Really? Well, as long as there's room for contenders, you better leave the door open and let someone in.”
“I don't really see that being an option. I don't want to be in love.”
Danny chuckled. “You think you have a choice? You don't get to decide when or who you fall in love with. You don't even get to decide when you want to kiss me. “
He leaned over and looked into her eyes. “Your mind says no, but I can tell your heart says something completely different.”
“You don't know what my heart says.”
Danny reached out and caught the tear that escaped on the tip of his finger. “Marnie, I see you, and most importantly, I see the beautiful heart you have. No matter how hard you want to hide it, I can see it.”
He longed to embrace her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to tell her she didn't have to be afraid and that the worst of her life was over. She was poised to have only good things happen to her. But he refrained. He didn't want to force himself on her. She might take it wrong. She would have to want him as much as he wanted her before he would try to comfort her.
“You wouldn't feel that way if you truly knew me. You just think I'm crazy, but it's more than that.”
“Tell me, or don't. I don't care. It wouldn't change anything I just said.”
“But—”
“Marnie.” He silenced her with a finger to her lips. He wished it had been a kiss instead. “Don't dwell on the past. I can't change what happened to Emily no more than you can…” He started to say ‘prevent sexual assault', but he caught himself. “No more than you can change your own past. All that matters is right now. Can you stay in the present?”
“If I did, what would happen?”
Danny sat back on the slate. “Whatever you wanted. Don't you know women rule the world these days?”
Marnie laughed. “Oh, really? Well,” she moved closer to him. Her cold hand lay softly on his stomach. If he didn't have a hard on before, he definitely did now. There was something about her in his robe that turned him on. “If I stay in the present…” Her breath warmed his face with every word she spoke. “I better deal with that nagging feeling that tells me you're irresistible.”
He let her cross the inch of space dividing them, and felt the soft kiss she bestowed on his lips. Her kiss was like a drop of water on the Sahara desert. He reveled in it, savored the feel as if his life depended on it. Longing overwhelmed him like a tidal wave, but he paced himself. He returned the likewise soft kiss. Slowly, he nurtured her passion, letting it grow and grow until her kisses became aggressive. Her tongue darted between his lips and he knew then she was ready for him. She wrapped her legs around him and slowly he slid her to the slate.
“Ow!” Marnie moaned.
Danny pulled back. She had hit her head on the balcony wall. He picked her up and took her inside and laid her over the top of the baby grand. With her legs still wrapped around him as tight as a pretzel, he began to bestow kisses on her neck. His fingers slid under the silk negligee she wore and found her pert breast. He pushed one past the top of her nightgown and began to circle his tongue across the nipple. Her hands ran through his hair, gripping and releasing it softly. She pulled him back up into a kiss. He obliged her, letting their tongues meet. He pulled down his boxers, ignoring the cool air that caressed his cheeks. Folding back the negligee, he pulled off her lace panties.
“Stop,” she said, sitting up on her elbows. The warmth of her legs left his body. Her once serene face was taut with fear.
Danny immediately raised his hands.
“It's okay, Marnie. We don't have to do anything.” Danny pulled his underwear up. He was fully prepared to wait until she was comfortable. He owed her at least that.
“We can't do this, ever.”
“Marnie, give me a chance.”
“Like Nia?”
His headache beat louder.
“You don't really know the circumstances behind that.”
She pushed him back and hopped off the piano.
“Okay. How about April, or Jessica?” She ticked the names off her finger.
April? He barely remembered the name. “I never promised them anything. And Jessica's a big girl. She makes her own decisions. You can't guilt trip me about her.”
“Really? It's like I said before. All you have to do is ask, and people give you whatever you want. There's no doubt in my mind that you didn't ask her. Poor Jessica. There's this product out…” She put her fingers together to form a triangle. “It's a plastic vagina, you might want to get one.”
She snatched her underwear from the top of the baby grand.
“You're making it seem like I'm a monster. She came on to me. They always come on to me.”
“What about Lem? You can't have any respect for the next man and say no?”
“I could ask you the same thing. You're not so different from me. I'm sure you've fucked married men before.”
She blinked. The stark realization that shone in her eyes hurt him. He wished he could take it back. He knew she wasn't proud of selling herself, and that she'd done it because she'd been a slave to her addiction. Flinging it in her face was tantamount to slapping her.
“You're right; I'm not that different from you. I never asked them, but if they're anything like you, then I've slept with every married man from here to the Brooklyn Bridge.” She frowned at him and balled her fist. “Thanks for reminding me of how beautiful my heart is.”
He could hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice. He had hurt her. Trying to defend himself, he'd been careless. Danny was never one to mince words, but this time he'd gone too far.
“Marnie, that's a bad spot in your life, but you have so much more to live for. Choose life.”
“You may be an actor, but you're the worst liar I've ever met.” She turned on her heels and ran out of the room.
Danny flinched when she slammed her door. He sat down on the bench, dejected. He didn't have any fight left in him. She thought he was garbage. But he cared about her, more than he had ever cared about anyone. He'd made some mistakes, but she needed to understand that he did care. He wasn't heartless and most of all he could never break her heart.
Danny walked into her room and was dismayed to find her covers pushed back on an empty bed. He noticed the sliver of light under her bathroom door. Fear gripped him and for a moment he was paralyzed. He wanted to walk toward the door, but he couldn't. What if…? No! He told himself you can't shy away from this. You're either all in or you're not. He took a deep breath and walked over to the door. He placed a hand inside the doorknob hole and steeled himself against what he might find. He let out a huge sigh when found her simply soaking in the bathtub.
“Marnie?”
She quickly covered her breasts as he entered. Danny raised a brow. She had no reason to be modest now; he had just been nibbling on them a few minutes ago.
“I just want to clarify a few things.”
He sat on the floor next to the tub.
“I'm not a dog. I've always been clear on what I could offer. I'm just trying to find a way to float above water. You're an addict. You know how it feels to try to make sense of this life sober. Please don't judge me. I couldn't take it if you of all people thought the worst of me.” He reached a hand over to caress her head. But she bobbed out of the way. Eyes straight ahead, she wouldn't even look at him.
“I like Brian.”
He closed his eyes and wished he could've been anywhere else at that moment. She'd made her choice. It was a good choice, he told himself.
“Good for you, Marnie. I won't say anything else.” He stood up and kissed her on the forehead before heading back to his own room.
He wasn't much for prayer, but he kneeled down on his knees beside his bed.
“Please end this nightmare. I'm not sure how much more I can take,” he whispered.