Step 1: Establish ground rules
Rule #1: Try to be pleasant and cheerful throughout your discussion.
Rule #2: Put safety first—do not make demands, show disrespect, or become angry when you negotiate.
Rule #3: If you reach an impasse where you do not seem to be getting anywhere, or if one of you is starting to make demands, show disrespect, or become angry, stop negotiating and come back to the issue later.
Step 2: Identify the problem and investigate each other’s perspectives
The Issue:
Your Perspective:
Your Spouse’s Perspective:
Step 3: Brainstorm possible solutions
Possible Solutions:
Step 4a: Choose a solution that meets the conditions of the Policy of Joint Agreement and test that solution for one week
Step 4b: Evaluate the effectiveness of your chosen solution and either (a) go back to step 3 to find a new solution if necessary, or (b) continue implementing the current solution