Chapter 31

Dudza—Reveal

Vimbai was joking about her doctor as they left the doctor’s office.

“He couldn’t stop staring at you, Pri. You had him tongue tied, my pretty little sister.”

Priscilla couldn’t understand her sister’s optimism. Her heart felt heavy with fear, but Vimbai smiled peacefully, lifting her face to the sky once they were out of the stuffy brick building. Priscilla hated going to the doctor, and Dr. Patel was not giving her many reasons to smile. Dr. Patel had said that AIDS itself didn’t kill; instead, Vimbai had to fear other diseases that her immune system could no longer handle. Where had that horrible disease come from? How could there not be a cure?

Her sister was dying. Would she make it to the New Year?

Outside, the sun was warm and the old trees sent their shadows sprawling on the red soil and fading green grass.

They walked towards the car without saying much. Once settled in, Priscilla glanced at Vimbai for a second and then adjusted her rear-view mirror.

“Where would you like to eat? I want to take you for lunch,” Priscilla said, starting the engine.

“You know the best places. I’ll trust you, little sister,” Vimbai said.

“Do you want to sit inside or outside?” Priscilla asked as she drove her car efficiently into the flow of traffic.

“The sun feels good. Let’s sit outside.”

“I know just the place.”

Priscilla drove to Kensington shopping center to a restaurant called Mateo’s. They specialized in freshly baked pizza, but they also served chicken, steak and fish. It wasn’t that far from the doctor’s office. They got their table on the sidewalk, right next to a pharmacy and a children’s bookshop.

“This sun tempts me to take a nap,” Priscilla said.

“Don’t fall asleep on me. People will think I’m boring,” Vimbai said, looking around at the mostly white patrons. A waiter came and gave them the menus.

Priscilla already knew what she wanted but waited for Vimbai to choose. It was hard not to notice how thin her sister had become. Her usually full cheeks were slightly sunken, and it made her brown eyes look bigger. Even her dress hung on her.

“Stop staring at me, Priscilla. I’m fine,” Vimbai said, her eyes on the menu. Priscilla turned her gaze to the menu.

“I’m sorry. I’m not making it easy for you. I know I can’t be as casual as you are about your illness,” Priscilla said.

“I’m not casual, Pri. I have given it up to God. He’s carrying my burdens. I’ve done all I can, and now I let God do the rest.”

“You mean you have given up?”

“No. I have surrendered. It’s different,” Vimbai said.

“What do you mean by that? Surrendered?”

“I’m not fighting with life anymore. I know who is in control, and it’s not me. I know I made my own wrong choice when I was a little girl, but now that I’ve given my life to Jesus, He takes care of me and will take care of my children,” Vimbai said with a small smile.

“I don’t know how you can just surrender,” Priscilla insisted, her eyes filling with tears that she fought hard to stop.

“It’s not in my power. It’s God’s power. Think about it, Priscilla. He made the universe. He let Rudo grow in your stomach without any help from you. He has so much power that you can’t do anything that he doesn’t let you do. I guess in the end I had a choice. I could live mad with the world, my disease, or accept that I can’t control some things but I can always control my attitude.”

Priscilla nodded but didn’t respond as the waiter finally came and took their order.

“He took his sweet time coming to us,” Priscilla said.

“See? You are letting the slow waiter control your attitude. You should be relaxed. Don’t let him spoil your day.”

Priscilla sighed but could still not relax like Vimbai. She felt anger stirring in her, wild and volcanic. “It’s easier to say than to do, Vimbai. The waiters here serve white people first, and they do it with a smile. They still see them as their owners. That annoys me. Not only that, how could I have changed my attitude as a little girl after Oliver messed up my childhood? All I knew was misery!”

Priscilla’s rage spilled on to the table and Vimbai stared at it as if she could see it, ugly and toxic.

“I know. But you are older now, you can choose to let it go or let it get to you,” Vimbai said, her eyes beseeching her sister. “You are so angry.”

Priscilla just stared at Vimbai. Her softly spoken truths hurt. She felt her anger rise, but she let it deflate slowly, like a balloon.

Priscilla closed the menu, a lid on her temper. “I am, aren’t I?”

“I don’t want to leave you here on this Earth bitter,” Vimbai said. Priscilla didn’t even want to imagine life without Vimbai. She tried to shake it off but it hung between them, the finality of it scaring her. She wanted to change the subject but found she had more questions.

“Aren’t you mad at Gilbert?”

“No. He was just a child himself who took the wrong turns in his life. He paid the price.”

“But do you have to pay, too?”

“Yes. I made the choice.”

“I feel like I’m going round and round in circles with you,” Priscilla said.

“I never want to live like a victim,” Vimbai said and pointed at the waiter. “Here come our drinks at last. It looks like we will be here for a long time.”

“Are you complaining?” Priscilla teased.

“No. I’m thinking it gives us more time together.”

Priscilla smiled and took Vimbai’s hand. Yes, she thought, it was good to stay and talk to her sister. She was her best friend, the one person she knew she could trust. They could talk about so much. There was more to share without talking about death, illness, or terror. Suddenly she wanted to share some of her secrets with her, get them off her chest. How would Vimbai react? Would she still look at her the same?

“I have something to tell you,” Priscilla said suddenly, then took a sip of her ice-cold drink.

Vimbai regarded her seriously, searching for clues in her eyes.

“I have been meaning to tell you for all these years. I’m tired of keeping this secret.”

“What is it, Priscilla?”

“It’s a huge secret.”

“Can it be worse than the one of you growing up thinking Baba was your father?

“It’s just as bad.” Priscilla took a deep breath, ready to dive in. “Unashe is Rudo’s father.”

“What? Don’t joke, Pri,” Vimbai said, her mouth open wide in shock. She shook her head, but when she looked in Priscilla’s eyes, she saw the truth.

“I’m serious. Nobody else knows,” Priscilla said.

“Not even Chamu?”

“Chamu knows it’s not his baby, but he doesn’t know who the father is and doesn’t want to know.”

Vimbai was quiet for a while looking at her lap with her mouth still open wide.

“How did you and Unashe…? Isn’t that taboo?”

“He always knew we were not related. When I found out, something just happened. But still. It was wrong.”

“Tell me. What happened?” Vimbai asked. There. No judgements.

Priscilla told Vimbai the story as briefly as she could, beginning with the day she left home and ending up at Mukai’s house. She remembered it like it had just happened.

“The minute we knew we were not related, something just grew between us. I had always loved him, always felt a special closeness with him, but when everything happened with Baba and he was just there for me, there was no turning back. It’s as if the climate was just ripe for us to fall in love.”

“So why didn’t you just get together? You loved him.”

“I did. I do. But one day a woman called Chantel who he used to date came and told me she was pregnant with his baby. I was so angry with him I wanted to kill him.”

“He was seeing somebody else while he was with you? He doesn’t seem like the type. Unashe just seems so honest, easygoing…”

“That’s what I thought. But I was wrong. I just found out yesterday that he didn’t know anything about Chantel being pregnant, and that it was impossible she would have been carrying his child because he never slept with her.”

“You believe him,” Vimbai said.

Priscilla nodded. “The crazy thing is why did she lie? Why would she lie to me?”

“Harare is very small, so she might have heard something and she was jealous and wanted Unashe to herself,” Vimbai said. “Though I’m still finding it hard to believe that he is Rudo’s father and you two…”

“Stop imagining that,” Priscilla cried, embarrassed.

“Unashe and you?”

“Stop it.” Priscilla laughed, throwing her head back. She noticed the other diners looking at them with interest, and then leaned towards Vimbai, her dangling gold earrings swooping forward.

“The thing that’s keeping me awake this whole week is this. How did she know I was even seeing Unashe? Nobody knew except the two of us. We were so careful. We hardly held hands in public or went to clubs.”

“Why were you being secretive? You could have just come out and told everybody you were in love.”

“You think so? Imagine the outrage. We were just falling in love, and at that time it would have meant explaining that I knew Baba wasn’t my real father and telling Aunt Mukai, who was dead set against Unashe getting into any relationship.”

“She loves you.”

“I know. But I don’t know how she would have reacted if I had delayed her precious son from going to college in the heavenly UK, where everybody wants to end up. I know I was just nervous and still trying to understand what was happening between us. It was all new to me, and, at the same time, I was so insecure. I didn’t want to believe anybody could care for me that much.”

“Priscilla, you are beautiful both inside and out. He must have been hopelessly in love with you.”

“I had no one to talk to, to share my feelings. It was just me and my thoughts, making my own decisions alone.”

“Wow. And you have kept this all to yourself,” Vimbai said. “Why didn’t you come to me?”

“You had a lot on your plate,” Priscilla said. “And now you still do, but we now have more time together.”

Vimbai stared into the distance, not seeing the people walking around and cars coming in and out of the busy shopping center. “It’s very strange. So did you speak to Chantel to ask her?”

“I don’t know where she is. Unashe said he would call her,” Priscilla explained.

Vimbai smiled. “I heard he is back in town and working for Chamu. Isn’t that a little complicated?”

Priscilla smiled. Her sister was enjoying all these juicy stories. It was quite unreal. “No. I think Unashe has already put our relationship behind him. He has moved on.”

“And you?”

“I have moved on, too.”

Vimbai rolled her eyes. “Priscilla, you have just started telling me the truth, so don’t lie to me.”

“I can’t go back there, Vimbai. I closed that door when I married Chamu.”

“Does Chamu know Unashe…”

“No way. I kept that to myself. He didn’t want to know anyway and just wanted to take Rudo as his daughter. She is his daughter.”

“Are you going to tell Unashe the truth?”

Priscilla grew quiet. Vimbai looked at her sister’s downcast head. She looked vulnerable and confused.

“Do you want to tell him?” Vimbai gently asked again.

“I don’t think I can. It would just make life difficult for my baby, for Chamu. Unashe doesn’t need that in his life. He has a girlfriend now and is starting a new career.”

“Doesn’t need his daughter?”

Vimbai’s words had Priscilla quiet. She took a sip of her drink and looked at the passing traffic a few meters away and the pedestrians that continued to walk by them. She finally turned and looked at Vimbai’s pleading face and sighed.

“I don’t know, Vimbai. When I met my real father, he hurt me with his initial rejection. Even now, he doesn’t really want me in his life. I wonder if I would have been better off not having met him. I really wonder about that.”

Vimbai knew exactly where Priscilla’s mind was. She decided not to say anything. Just then, their food arrived.

They each cut into the succulent chicken and took a bite. They ate in silence for a while, thinking deeply of what they had just talked about.

“Do you love Chamu?”

Priscilla looked at her, surprised. “He has been a good husband and father.”

“That answers my question. You could have done a lot worse.”

“I can’t even complain about him. He always takes care of me and Rudo. We are his priority, no matter how busy he gets.”

“So you trust him?”

“Chamu?”

“Yes.”

Priscilla smiled. “What’s there not to trust? He is kind, honest and faithful. He is generous to my family.”

“I know all that. I just think most people don’t take this AIDS thing seriously. You should still both get tested.”

“I think he would be offended. He loves us. He works hard each day and comes home to us. He doesn’t drink that much or go out, and I’ve never heard any rumours about him or had any reason to ever suspect anything.”

“I don’t want to say he does anything. I just want you to be careful, that’s all. At least talk about it with him. I’m feeling overprotective, even in places where there’s no need.”

“I’ll try and talk to him about it. It’s worth talking about.” She looked at Vimbai and smiled, surprised at how well Vimbai understood her situation. Could she really trust Chamu completely?

“Can I ask you something?” Vimbai asked. Priscilla nodded. “I know you had miscarriages. But do you want more children?”

“Of course I do! I seem to have inherited our mother’s problems with pregnancies. She had many miscarriages, too.”

“I’m sure Chamu would love that.”

Priscilla nodded. She knew how much, though he never came right out and said it.

After their lunch, they went to the flea market. The Avondale flea market was their favorite to visit together. Vimbai was selling some of her tablemats and bathroom sets there. Priscilla had helped her set it up and hired girls to do the selling.

Priscilla bought Chipo and Rudo some crocheted tops and bought some of Vimbai’s mats for her dining room. Vimbai scolded her as she watched her sister count the wads of money.

“I can make you a set for free. You don’t have to buy them. They are so expensive!”

“What kind of businesswoman are you? You should charge everybody. Especially wealthy people like me.”

Vimbai laughed, then started coughing, her slight body doubling over. They sat down while Vimbai caught her breath and Priscilla rubbed her back, willing healing into her sister’s body with her touch. Tears pooled in her eyes.

“I’m fine,” she croaked. Priscilla nodded and willed her heart to stop beating so fast.