Chapter 41

Batira—Hold On

Unashe had gone out of his mind in the week Priscilla refused to see him. He played squash, jogged, anything to stop the madness from creeping in. He had to speak to investigators sent by Lina, but they all knew that this was an open-and-shut case of self-defense. Chamu had followed them to Inyanga with the intention of killing them.

Lina told reporters that she would not rest until the people responsible for her son’s death were behind bars. To Unashe’s way of thinking, Lina and Chamu could only blame themselves.

A few days before she would be discharged from the hospital, Unashe forced his way into Priscilla’s room. She was lying alone on the bed watching the TV set he had sent for her.

“Cilla, we have to talk,” he said, closing the door behind him. She looked at him like he was one of the nurses coming to poke her with a needle or give her tasteless medicine.

He sat right on her bed and forced her to look at him. Their eyes held for a while and he saw the coldness melt away to be replaced by tears. He tried to hold her but she pushed him away with the little strength that she had.

“Please don’t keep me away from you,” he begged, his eyes beseeching her. They stared at each other for a minute.

“I can’t be with you, Unashe. Don’t you see?”

“What do you mean?”

“Every time we get together something happens. We both nearly died.”

“But we didn’t die.”

“How can we live happily together knowing Chamu died at our hands?” Priscilla said.

“He would have killed both of us, and Rudo, too. I don’t even know how I survived.”

Priscilla lifted her hands and touched his cheek, savoring the prickly sensation of his rough chin where a beard was coming out. She looked into his liquid brown eyes.

“You were so brave. I was so scared. I heard you fought him when he held the gun. He could have killed you,” she said.

“He could have. I didn’t think he was that crazy, but I was looking at a crazy man that night,” Unashe said. Priscilla didn’t say anything. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. Unashe was so close, so real, so incredible. Was she dreaming?

“But why did somebody have to die for us to be together?” Priscilla’s hand was still on his cheek. She dropped it.

“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I’m not happy with what happened, either. I’m not happy that he died at my hand.”

“I know. I can’t think of it, but you can still see Rudo. I’m going to tell her the truth soon,” Priscilla said. Unashe felt cold dread fill his heart.

“She is your daughter and you love her, I can tell. You should get to know each other, but I can’t be part of your life, Una. I think it’s time we really said goodbye, for good.”

“Are you serious?” he said, vacillating between anger and shock.

“We should let it go, Unashe. I need you to help me let it all go. Please help me do this.”

Unashe stood up and slowly rubbed his head in disbelief. He looked out her window for answers in the wind. As if in a daze, he just walked out the door without looking back. Priscilla watched the door close slowly, and then closed her eyes.

* * *

“Don’t leave,” Priscilla sobbed into her pillow, and when he didn’t come back she began to panic. Priscilla remembered reading somewhere that there are three kinds of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. She was tired of wondering what had happened to her life. She had to take control. She had to make her own decisions. Starting now.

She put on her gown and, pulling her IV along on its stand, she opened the door to her room. Unashe wasn’t in sight. She walked slowly down the empty passageway. When she got to the visitors area she nearly sobbed with relief. Unashe sat in one of the chairs, his head in his hands. He looked up when she got close.

His eyes stared questioningly at hers.

“I can’t do it,” Priscilla said.

“What?” Standing up, he walked towards her. “You should be in bed.”

“I can’t.”

“I need you. I wasn’t going to leave. Is that bad? I didn’t follow your orders this time,” Unashe said, taking her hands.

“Never follow my orders. I never make any sense,” she sobbed. He gently put her head on his chest where she could feel his heart beating.

He put his arms around her, and this time he wasn’t going to let her go.