31

Crown Jewels

When I got into class on Monday, Nadima was showing off her bracelet to Chloe and Elly.

‘That’s sooo pretty,’ said Elly.

‘I’ve got one too,’ I said, leaning over Nadima and showing them the one on my wrist. ‘They’re a pair.’

So then Elly turned to Chloe. ‘Shall we get some?’

‘Only if I get the pink and silver one,’ said Chloe.

‘OMG, Chloe, you’re so pink!’ I laughed, and the others joined in.

At which point Kara arrived, with Lily. So of course she instantly demanded to know what we were laughing at.

When Elly explained, Kara literally grabbed Nadima’s wrist. ‘Ooooh, let’s see!’

‘Is pretty, yes?’ Nadima smiled.

‘Yes, it’s lovely. Look, Lily – it’s got “Best Friends Forever” on the heart,’ said Kara.

My stomach suddenly went all cold. Why hadn’t I thought about how Lily would feel about me and Nad having BFF bracelets? I would have been gutted if she and Kara had got a pair. Why hadn’t I thought about her?

I watched her face anxiously. She leaned over to look closely at my bracelet. I was literally holding my breath. But all she said was, ‘I love the little heart!’

I can’t tell you how relieved I was, but then Elly said, ‘We’re getting some,’ gesturing to herself and Chloe.

So of course Kara turned to Lily and said, ‘Let’s get some too!’

Lily nodded eagerly and said, ‘OK!’

My stomach flipped and I felt sick.

So was that it? Lil and I weren’t best friends any more? She was now, officially, best friends with Kara – forever. My throat was closing up and any minute I was going to have to rush off to the loo – either that or burst into tears in front of the whole of 7R.

But then Lil did something typically lovely and, well, typically Lily.

She smiled at me and said, ‘Then we can all be BFFs together!’ And the knots in my stomach melted like chocolate in a chocolate fountain.

So Monday morning got off to fabulous start. And then it got even better, because straight after registration Mrs W reminded us that next week was Charity Challenge Week.

‘Everyone’s got to come up with their best fundraising ideas,’ she told us. ‘And there are prizes for the people who raise the most money!’

Ryan and Liam punched the air with a ‘Yes!’ and everyone else instantly started chatting excitedly about what they could do.

LOL! I thought. There was no way anyone else was going to get a look in. I was going to ace the Charity Challenge by getting more money than anyone else had ever raised in the entire history of the school ever!

I was still in a good mood when we all trooped into drama (which was a first for me). Mrs P told us all to just pick up where we’d left off working up our box stories. Everyone seemed to know exactly what they were doing – except Nadima and me. We hadn’t even come up with an idea.

Nadima took out her drama book and a pen. ‘We make story, yes?’ she said.

Yeah, right, like it’s that simple, I thought. Fyi, I’m absolutely rubbish at making up stories. I literally don’t know how to do it.

I put up my hand, so Mrs P twirled over, her kaftan billowing behind her.

‘It’s impossible,’ I told her. ‘Nadima simply doesn’t have enough English to make up a story.’

‘What happened to the idea you were working on last week?’ she said, gathering up the flowing folds of her kaftan and sitting on the floor.

I literally winced when I realised she meant my Turkish Delight scheme. ‘Um, well, it didn’t work out,’ I said truthfully.

‘Well, then you’ll just have to make up another one,’ announced Mrs P.

‘But I don’t even know where to start!’ I wailed.

Nadima raised her eyebrows at me, and the rest of the class looked over – hoping for some real drama, no doubt.

‘Oh, well, I can help you with that!’ declared Mrs P. ‘We can easily find a good starting point for a story. What sort of things do you both like? Hmmm?’

Why am I meant to know the sort of things Nadima likes?

I know loads of stuff about Lily – her favourite colour (turquoise), lucky number (7), choice of pizza (ham and pineapple). I know which bands, and movies and even which books she likes. I know she loves ice-skating and has always wanted a Palomino pony called Star. But how was I supposed to know what Nadima liked?

And then, like the genius I am, I remembered our first emoji conversation.

‘Hang on!’ I cried, grabbing my phone and quickly trawling through my texts. ‘I can tell you exactly what we both like!’ I told Mrs P. ‘Music and dancing and going to the movies … and popcorn and burgers and chips … and pizza and cake and ice cream … and chocolate,’ I said. Then I remembered our BFF bracelets and added, ‘And jewellery.’

‘Brilliant! Brilliant!’ gushed Mrs P. ‘So you both like jewellery, and the theme is “A Box”, so you could have …?’ She looked at me expectantly.

‘Er … a jewellery box?’ I said.

‘Yes! Brilliant! Maybe you could start with some jewels, or some treasure! How about if some priceless jewels go missing – stolen maybe?’ she said excitedly.

‘What, like stealing the Crown Jewels?’ I asked sarcastically.

Ignoring the sarcasm, Mrs P said, ‘Well, yes, why not? Yes, actually, brilliant, brilliant! That’s a wonderful idea. Make up a story about stealing the Crown Jewels!’

And with that she hitched up her kaftan, got up off the floor and went off.

What a totally rubbish idea, I thought. But it was better than nothing, so I sighed heavily, got out my phone and googled ‘crwon jewls’ and showed the picture to Nadima.

‘Aha! Yes! Crown Jewels. Royal Family. Queen Elizabeth. Buckingham Palace!’ she said with a huge grin.

I burst out laughing. It was crazy the words she knew. But I guess those are words lots of tourists know. Not that she’s a tourist of course.

‘We have to make up a story about someone trying to steal the Crown Jewels,’ I said.

‘I not understand,’ she said. So I typed ‘steal’ into my phone and showed her the Kurdish word.

She pretended to gasp and joked, ‘We steal Crown Jewels? Jaz! NO!’

We both burst out laughing. That was as far as we got, because Mrs P was asking some of the groups to show everyone what they’d done so far.

Obviously she started with her favourite pupil. So we all had to watch Kara and Lily melodramatically finding a baby in the snow. Kara was the star of course, the one actually finding the baby. Lily was doing snowy sound effects in the background.

‘Whoosh, whoooo, whooosh,’ she went.

Kara pretended she was clutching a baby and battling against the storm, until Lily suddenly jumped out and started growling like a bear or a Yeti or something.

Kara acted all terrified, cradling the baby and cowering. But then she started singing and ‘tamed’ the Yeti (or the bear or whatever). So Lily lay down on the floor and then, thankfully, it ended.

‘That’s as far as we’ve got,’ Kara babbled, acting all modest.

‘Marvellous, marvellous!’ trilled Mrs P, clapping like crazy.

7R cringed on her behalf.

Then she picked on Liam and Ryan. They got up and acted out some action-packed scenes from Star Wars or something. They did a lot of rushing around and shouting mad stuff at each other like, ‘Take that!’ and, ‘Aaaaargh!’ and, ‘KABOOM!’ and, ‘BSHHHHH!’ It was completely baffling, but it ended in a massive lightsabre fight (with full sound effects) and both of them died. Their death throes were awesome, btw. Everyone applauded wildly. So they both sprang up and bowed theatrically.

Mrs P was speechless.

Kara was dead jealous. ‘What’s any of that got to do with a box?’ she demanded.

LOL.

Fortunately the bell went before Mrs P could pick on anyone else.

So everyone grabbed their bags and made a bid for freedom.

‘Well done, 7R,’ trilled Mrs P. ‘And I’m really looking forward to seeing your story, Jaz!’ she shouted after us, as Nadima and I escaped down the corridor.

Honestly, how are Nadima and I meant to work out how to make up a story about stealing the Crown Jewels? It’d be easier to literally steal the Crown Jewels.

Don’t you just HATE it when teachers set you work that’s actually impossible to do – so you’re absolutely destined to fail – and in front of the whole class? Do they even stop to think before they dream up these stupid projects?

Apparently not.

If I thought the drama project was stupid, I was gobsmacked at the homework our history teacher set us.

It was OFF THE STUPID SCALE ENTIRELY.