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ON TUESDAY MORNING, Sherri called Gertrude and invited her to come in for an interview.
Gertrude was ecstatic. She’d never had an interview before.
She changed three times before deciding on an outfit. She finally settled on a knee-length dress with a floral pattern that was mostly orange. In truth, she wasn’t sure if it was a dress or a housecoat, but when she put it on over red tights, she looked absolutely smashing. She added a string of chunky yellow beads for further flare.
She felt quite confident as she pushed her walker through the Goodwill doors. She didn’t see Sherri anywhere, but she did see Matt running a register. She approached him warily.
“Excuse me.”
“What?” Matt snapped before he’d even looked at her. She didn’t answer, so he did look up at her and then became evidently disgusted. “Now what do you want?”
“I’m here for a job interview.”
“You’re joking.”
“I am not,” Gertrude said indignantly.
Matt rolled his eyes, but he did grab a radio from beside his register and spoke into it. “Sherri, the crazy lady from yesterday is here for a job interview.”
“I’ll be right there,” came a terse reply.
True to her word, Sherri materialized within seconds, and, without so much as a glance toward Gertrude, marched right up to Matt, leaned on the counter and spoke quietly, but sternly, to him. Gertrude strained to hear, but she couldn’t. Still, the red creeping up Matt’s neck led Gertrude to believe he was being scolded.
Gertrude saw Matt nod, and then Sherri turned her attention to Gertrude. “Can I help you?”
“Yes. I’m here for a job interview.”
“And your name is?”
“Gertrude.”
Sherri looked at her watch. “You’re an hour early.”
“Early bird gets the worm.”
Sherri looked at her, incredulous.
Gertrude shrugged and tried to smile.
“All right then,” Sherri said. “Follow me.”
Sherri led her to the back of the store, and Gertrude became excited when she realized Sherri was leading her to the big employee only swinging double doors—the gates of paradise. Sherri held one open and ushered Gertrude through. Then Sherri led her to a small, crooked desk in the corner of the room. “Have a seat,” she said, motioning to a metal folding chair. With a little effort, Gertrude sat. Sherri sat down on the other side of the desk. “So,” she began, and cleared her throat, “I didn’t realize when reviewing your application that you were you.”
Gertrude scowled.
“What I mean is,” Sherri corrected herself, “I didn’t know, by looking at your name, that you were the one who found that poor woman’s body, and that you were the one wandering around back here yesterday.”
“But I applied for the job right in front of you. Do you really receive that many job applications?”
“Well, yes, as a matter of fact. Since the killing, interest in working here has certainly spiked. Which is why I need to ask you ...” Sherri placed her forearms on the desk and leaned forward, leveling a serious gaze at Gertrude. Gertrude had an urge to laugh, but she bit it back. “I’m concerned that your interest in working here might have something to do with the murder.”
Was that a question? Am I supposed to say something? Unsure of what to do, she did nothing. She just sat there, expressionless, staring at Sherri and desperately wishing there were a few cats on her lap.
“In other words,” Sherri tried again, “do you have some sort of dark fascination with this place because of the crime that was committed here?”
“No,” Gertrude said.
Sherri stared at her, as if waiting for her to say more.
Gertrude didn’t know what else there was to say.
“OK, so why don’t you tell me why you do want to work here?”
Gertrude felt her heart rate increase. I’d better not tell her I’m a gumshoe. “I like stuff,” Gertrude blurted out.
Sherri raised one perfectly groomed and penciled eyebrow. Gertrude marveled at just how high that eyebrow could go, and what a sharp angle it formed at its apex. “You like stuff?” Sherri asked.
“Yes. I find it fascinating. I think I would do a good job here, because I’m good at stuff.” She paused. “I’m good with stuff,” she corrected.
Sherri leaned back in her chair. “All right then. Let’s give it a shot. You’ll have to go to the hospital and have a drug test performed. Ask the hospital to fax me the results. And we’ll have to run a background check on you.”
“Really?” Gertrude exclaimed. “That’s it?”
Sherri chuckled. “Well, I might have some misgivings, but your references spoke quite highly of you. And I’m a big fan of your pastor, so if he says you’re a good risk, then I take him at his word.”
Gertrude practically bounced out of Goodwill, flashing a disturbingly triumphant smile at Matt as she passed.
He looked as if he was going to be sick.