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Sunlight gathered on the windowsill as it seeped past the curtain with the waking of day. Annalise lay nestled in the crook of Adam’s arm, her hair draped over his skin like a silken ripple of ruby and gold.
Protectiveness surged through him every time he looked at her, followed by a gratified peace. She belonged to him. He’d found her. And they were almost out of the dark.
Sharp angst spiked along his spine as he thought about yesterday, about his brother’s betrayal and unforgivable transgression. Laying a hand on another male’s mate was an inexcusable offense.
When he saw his brother—his very own flesh and blood—touching Annalise, a rage unleashed, unbridling the beast within. His only instinct, to slaughter the threat to his future.
It took every bit of his fraying restraint not to claim her when he entered the room last night. Not driven by salvation, but by masculine possessiveness, he needed to sink his teeth and cock into her, claim her, mark her, and bond with his mate. But as he barged into the room and saw her sit up in a hurry, her concern washed over him. It soothed him when he’d assumed nothing could tame the beast within. And, like the sea, when the clouds reclaim the wind and everything stills, the storm calmed, and his rage receded.
He hadn’t expected her to hold such power over him. It nearly knocked him to his knees. How could anyone, with only a look, transform his emotions so completely?
He was not a fool. He understood that as the sky mirrored the earth, and the sun balanced the moon. There were always two sides to God’s power, and for as easily as Annalise could soothe him, she could antagonize him as well. Every bit of joy they shared risked the counterbalance of pain.
As if his eyes saw love for the first time, he now understood the cost of caring so deeply for someone. The price he might pay for trust, should she turn her back on him. It was a terrifying risk, but one he saw no other choice but to take.
As he stroked her hair, he studied her still features. She appeared to sleep peacefully. His grandfather had no advice regarding her nightmares. He said the idea that someone else might be trespassing on her shared dreams with him was an improbability he’d never heard of before. Adam had no choice but to assume these dreams were only dreams, and nothing more.
While immortals required little sleep and could go lifetimes without ever dreaming once, humans were different. They dreamed regularly. Adam only had the experiences of those who had been called before him to reference. According to the Order’s records, none of the bonded males or females on the farm had nightmares during the calling.
In the end, his grandfather had one piece of advice. Complete the bonding as soon as possible.
Birds sung on a nearby tree and he smiled, lifting a strand of her hair and turning it in the morning light. She appeared delicate, but she was a willful thing.
Thoughts returning to Cain, his jaw locked, and he released the strand of hair. His brother’s actions threatened his very existence. The cruel thoughtlessness wounded Adam in ways he didn’t want to examine, so he focused on his rage.
She was his salvation, and Cain tampered with that. For whatever reason, be it a poor joke or the sophomoric overstepping of a fool, his behavior changed everything. His transgressions threatened the life of an immortal and therefore were a punishable crime.
Anna’s chest lifted as she drew in a deep breath and turned in his arms. When her lashes fluttered open, she stilled.
“Good morning, ainsicht.”
Her heart missed a clip and pink rushed to her ivory cheeks. “Good morning.”
“Did you sleep well?”
She smiled, eyes shy, mouth tempting. “Better than I have in weeks.”
He couldn’t resist her, so he kissed her softly. She pulled back and he frowned. “What is it?”
Her bare shoulder shifted, and she pulled the covers over her chin. “I haven’t washed up yet.”
He laughed. “And you think you’re less appealing certain times of day?” He rolled on top of her and yanked the blanket away from her face. Her proximity alone, left him fully aroused. Her soft body beneath him, cushioning his weight and welcoming him with warm, luscious curves turned him harder than granite. “Give me that mouth of yours.”
She squeaked as he kissed her deeply. His body moved over hers and soon her tension subsided, and she molded around him—a perfect fit.
He pressed his erection between her thighs, finding her wet and ready. His fingers slipped through her folds and she gasped when he nudged the tip of his cock inside.
“Are you sore from yesterday?” He could not lose sight of her fragility. She was still human and therefore needed more time to heel.
“A little.”
“Then I’ll be gentle.” He pushed in and a breathy moan escaped her.
He closed his eyes and savored the first moment of returning inside of her. The heat. The tightness. Nothing had ever held him so close, so right.
As he rocked over her, she wreathed her arms around his neck and watched him. He could stare at her forever. Her eyes searched his face.
“Are you looking for something in particular?” He brushed a kiss over her soft lips.
“Last night... Your eyes...”
“They change when my emotions are heightened. I’m accustomed to controlling the response.”
“Are you controlling it now?”
It had become such a natural instinct to hide any notable differences, he had to manually command his muscles to retract. His vision shifted and her breath hitched. “There.”
She blinked up at him, a small divot forming between her brows. “Your eyes are almost feline.” Her voice translated awe more than fear.
His body glided slowly in and out of her, the languid pace allowing his focus to split. “We have better eyesight.”
“And hearing?”
“And better hearing.” He dipped his head to her shoulder, licking up the column of her neck. “For instance, I can hear your heart quicken when I do this.”
She gasped and arched into him, soft keening cries breaking the conversation in favor of pleasure. In comparison to last night’s coupling, this was very different, but he enjoyed it all the same. His addiction to her body didn’t surprise him, but the sensations did.
He’d kissed other females, but nothing compared to kissing Annalise. His body didn’t respond to others the way it responded to her. Her blood called to him, and soon their blood would be the same, linking their souls and entwining them for all ewichkeit.
Her nails dug into his muscles as she trembled beneath him. His spine tingled as every pleasure sensor in his body fired off. Together, they reached completion, falling into a fit of blissful giggles and kissing as they caught their breath.
“You’re very good at that for having no experience.”
He sat up, glancing over his shoulder with a look of pure male arrogance. “Are you saying you’re fulfilled?”
She smiled and rolled to her side, her hair tumbling to her elbow as she balanced her jaw on the heel of her palm. “Consider me thoroughly fulfilled.”
He pulled on a pair of pants and bent to kiss her as he buttoned the front. “Then consider me thoroughly pleased.”
Her smile shifted. “Are you going somewhere?”
He poured fresh water into the bowl and wet his palms, pressing a few drops to his face before pulling on a shirt. “I need to approach the Council today.”
“What’s the Council? Can I come with you?”
He tucked in his shirt and fastened his suspenders. “The Council is our board of Elders who control the Ordnung. And no, you must stay here. Females are not permitted inside Council meetings.”
The crease of her brow hardened. “Why not?”
“Because it’s male business.”
“Says who?”
He tied his hair at the base of his neck. “The males. You’ll stay here with Gracie and my mother. I believe they’ve made some new dresses for you.”
She sat up, holding the quilt to her front and scowling at him. “What if I want to leave the house?”
“I’d prefer it if you stayed indoors today.”
“Prefer it or command it?”
Sitting in the chair, he pulled on his boots. “Why are you being difficult this morning, ainsicht? Yesterday was trying for all of us. I’m only asking for a few hours of obedience and then when I return, we can go for a walk together. I’ll show you around the farm.”
Her eyes flared wide and he suspected she didn’t care for his counteroffer.
“A few hours of obedience? You’ll walk me around? What am I, a fucking dog?”
“Annalise! Swearing is forbidden.”
“Tough shit! Those are your rules, not mine.” She flung the quilt onto the bed, not bothering to make it. “And you can’t ground me to the house all day.”
“Ground you?”
“Tell me I’m not allowed outside.”
He handed her a dress so could cover herself. Luckily the curtains were still draped. “I only make these rules for your safety.”
She fisted the gown at her hip and scowled at him, not bothering to cover her body as God and all of heaven could see her. “Make the rules?” Her breasts heaved with a deep breath and her outrage pelted him from across the room.
He marched over to her and took the dress. “It’s broad daylight and you’re parading about as naked as the day you were born.”
She yanked the dress out of his hands and threw it on the floor. “Do you even hear what I’m saying?”
He caught her shoulders and gave her a firm shake. “I hear every word, yet you refuse to listen to me. These rules are for your protection. My brother is still out there licking his wounds, which makes it unsafe.”
“My life was safe, before you showed up!”
His jaw clenched and he shook her again. “Do you think I don’t blame myself for this? I know it was my carelessness that put you in harm’s way yesterday, which is exactly why I intend to petition the Elders and see that nothing like this ever happens again. I swore I would keep you safe, Annalise. This is me keeping my word. Now, put on your dress and let me do my duty so we can get on with our day.”
When he released her arms, she staggered back a step. The air shifted and her outrage siphoned out of the room, overpowered by a new emotion he’d never felt from her before.
He stilled, disliking the soggy pressure expanding in his chest and immediately regretted venting his short temper on her. He’d emotionally wounded her, perhaps even humiliated her, which was never his intention.
“I do not mean to injure your pride, ainsicht.”
“Get away from me.” She took a step back, snatching the dress off the floor and covering herself.
He sighed. “You were acting hysterical and uncompromising.” He’d only tried to shake some sense into her.
Her lips pursed in a tight knot as she yanked the dress over her head. She wouldn’t look at him.
“Anna, please...”
Her hands trembled as she pulled on her apron. A straight pin pinged to the floor, disappearing into a crack between the wood planks.
“I can find you more pins.”
“Whatever.” She sniffed, turning her back to him as she fumbled to twist her hair up with a strand of leather. It was too short of a strand, but her determination to make it work almost made him believe she could.
He approached her slowly and as he rested his hands on her shoulders, she flinched and stiffened. “I’m sorry.”
She sniffed again. “It’s my fault. I thought last night might have changed something.”
He frowned. “Last night did change something.” It changed everything. He pulled her shoulders until she turned to face him. He hadn’t expected to find tears glazing her eyes. “Tell me where I went wrong.”
She swallowed, her gaze skittering to the floor. “You want to domesticate me.”
“No, I only want to keep you safe.”
“But you think men are superior to women. I can’t tolerate such small mindedness. It’s dated and disgusting and—”
“I never said men were superior to women, Annalise. I said females were not permitted into Council meetings. I cannot alter all our traditions to suit your modern views, only the practices within my control.”
“Why can’t women do everything the men do here? Why does it have to be so segregated?”
His lips pursed. “That’s just the way we’ve always done it. But neither male nor female is more superior to its counterpart. It’s a balance. The females nurture us, feed us, birth our young, and rush to our aid in times of crisis. It is the male’s duty to keep her safe and strong so that they may bless us with family and a loving home. It is us who serves them, not the other way around.”
Her chin trembled. “Well, when you put it that way...” She flicked her fingers over her lashes, dashing away any tears. “I guess I’m just not used to living that way.”
God help him, he might be dependent on his mother’s cooking for the rest of eternity if she truly despised domesticity that much. However, that depended on if he could convince her to stay. He needed to choose his words with care from now on.
He smiled in show of a truce and kissed her. “Would you mind waiting here while I meet with the Elders? My sister and mother would love your company.”
She smiled. “That’s much better.”
To his mind it sounded the same. “My willful, modern English female.” He traced a finger along her jaw and she caught his wrist.
Her smile disappeared. “If you ever shake me like that again, I’ll knee you in the balls.”
He chuckled, but the sound faded when she didn’t crack a smile. He could have responded a number of ways. He could have told her that according to their laws, a bonded male had complete authority over his mate, that the females typically deferred to the males in marriage, or that no one would bat an eye if he had done more than shake her. But he said none of that.
Rather, he nodded, understanding that this would be one condition where her people’s principles would always outrank his. “I’ll never lay an ill-tempered hand on you again. You have my word. And if I should break my vow, you have my permission to do more than use your knee on me.” God forbid he ever truly lost his temper around her.
For as infuriating as she could be, he couldn’t bear the thought of upsetting her. He would apply himself to modernizing his thinking in terms of relationships and worry less about what other males did and model his conduct after her expectations.
“Deal.”
He turned her, and parted her hair into three sections. “Let me help you with this.” He plaited the hair in a few quick crosses, making the point thinner and easier to tie. “There.”
“I don’t understand why Amish women can’t use hair ties.”
He smiled and kissed her nose. “No elastic.”
“Yes, I’m told it’s the product of the devil.”
He yanked her closer by the bunching of her skirt. “Don’t mock.” His hand gripped her curves through her skirt. “Perhaps our silly rules were written in your favor. If this dress could be removed with a simple tug of elastic or the pull of a zipper, you’d never stay dressed for more than a few minutes.”
His hand fit between her bottom and slid lower. She lifted to her toes and sucked in a breath. “You’re awfully sure of yourself for having just lost your virginity.”
“I said I never had sex, ainsicht, not that I wouldn’t enjoy it.”
“Do you have to leave?” Her pupils dilated and her heartbeat quickened.
He couldn’t afford another delay, so he let her go. “I won’t be long.”
“And what is it you’re going to do?”
“My brother broke a law yesterday. It needs to be reported.”
“I thought Amish didn’t have laws.” She pinned her braid to the top of her head and hid it under a kapp.
“Every society has rules.”
“What sort of punishment will he get? He didn’t really do—”
“He betrayed me and misled you,” he interrupted, refusing any excuses for such behavior. “This goes beyond jealousy, Annalise. You’re unaccustomed to our laws and traditions. He took advantage of that. It’s inexcusable. As my brother he should have protected you, not preyed upon your vulnerabilities.”
He still could not understand what would possess Cain to betray him so. Perhaps he was jealous of his calling or could not resist coveting his mate.
His actions not only violated their kinship, but also any bond they shared before then. In a low voice, he admitted, “I cannot find forgiveness in my heart for a male who would betray his brother so thoughtlessly. His actions are without redemption.”
“Family’s important, Adam. Take it from someone who doesn’t have one. Maybe it would be better to go to him instead of the Elders and just talk it out.”
“That’s not an option. Forgiveness comes with remorse. Cain’s too angry to feel sorry. I only wish I knew why.”
“So ask him.”
She had yet to fully grasp the nature of their kind and he wanted to finish that conversation when they had more time. He couldn’t go to Cain because his emotions were too raw. The thought of facing his brother filled him with an unholy urge to slaughter.
Pre-bonded mates faced enough challenges. Touching another male’s mate was a crime punishable by death because it threatened another’s survival. Considering Cain was his brother, the Council might show clemency. But the treachery was too fresh for Adam and no mercy resided in his heart.
Even now, recalling how he’d sliced open Cain’s chest, flaying his flesh, he regretted not ripping out his heart. Their brotherhood had caused him to flinch when he had the chance to end his life, but now, looking back, he shouldn’t have hesitated. Annalise belonged to him and any male that thought to lay a hand on her would suffer a quick death.
“Adam?”
He turned to his mate.
Her brows lifted toward her hairline. “You’re growling.”
He sucked in a calming breath and straightened his posture. For his own sanity, he needed to put yesterday’s events behind them as soon as possible.
He kissed her brow. “I won’t be long.”