THERE USED TO BE ONE ROAD that got you to wherever you wanted to go much quicker than any other road. It looked like a perfectly ordinary road. But the moment you stepped onto it, you got wherever it was you wanted to go to… That is if you knew where you wanted to go. Unfortunately most folk weren’t absolutely sure. They liked the idea of getting somewhere so much that they often stepped onto the road before they’d really decided where it was that they wanted to end up.
And – when you did that – this is what would happen:
You’d step on the road and start walking. For a moment it would seem just like walking along any old road, but then, as you walked on a bit further, you’d find the countryside slipping past as though you were running – even though you were still just walking. The next minute, the countryside would be speeding past – as if you were galloping on a horse, and before you knew where you were, there would be just a blur on either side of you, as the world flashed past quicker than the eye could see…
And if you didn’t know where you were going, it would just go on getting faster and faster and faster until… all of a sudden! It would stop.
And when you looked around you, you would see this:
Nothing.
Nothing to your left. Nothing to your right. Nothing in front of you. Nothing behind you. Nothing… Nothing, that is, except for people wandering around quite lost.
Well, here is the story of a girl, named Poppy, who stepped onto the Fast Road, and who didn’t have the first clue where she was heading.
The moment she stepped onto the Fast Road, she had an idea that something was going to happen, but she couldn’t imagine what.
To begin with, of course, it was just like walking along any other road, but very soon she noticed the countryside slipping past faster than she was walking. Then, before she could work out what was happening, she found the countryside whizzing past her – as if she were galloping on a horse! And the next minute, it was all a blur – flashing past her on both sides – so fast that she couldn’t make out anything. The fields were just a blur of green. Cows and sheep were like stripes of brown and white. It all went faster and faster and faster until… all of a sudden!… It stopped.
Poppy almost fell over herself, it was so sudden. But she shook her head, and looked around. And do you know what she could see? That’s right…
Nothing.
Nothing to her left. Nothing to her right. Nothing in front of her. Nothing behind her. There were plenty of people wandering around, but she could see they were quite lost.
Poppy picked herself up and said: ‘Well, I wonder where I am?’ Then she stepped off the road and walked across the flat nothingness towards the horizon.
After a while, she saw something in the distance, and as she got nearer, she saw that it was a strange building. It was as tall as a mountain and it was full of people. But the really extraordinary thing was that the building didn’t have an inside! It was all outside!
At the bottom, was a man behind a desk.
‘Can you tell me where I am?’ asked Poppy.
‘This is Nowhere In Particular,’ replied the man. ‘Would you like to sign the Guest Book?’
‘I’ll not sign the book,’ said Poppy, ‘because I’m not stopping, but is it all right if I look around?’
‘Help yourself,’ said the man. ‘There’s nothing particular here.’
So Poppy climbed the stairs that led all round the outside of the building.
On the first floor, she met a family who were sitting on stools looking at a stone.
‘What on earth are you doing?’ asked Poppy.
‘We’re stone-watching,’ replied the whole family, without taking their eyes off the stone.
‘Stone-watching?’ said Poppy. ‘I’ve never heard of such a thing. Isn’t it extremely boring?’
‘Oh no!’ exclaimed the father.
‘But stones don’t do anything,’ said Poppy.
‘But this one might!’ exclaimed the mother.
‘And we’ll be the first to see it when it does!’ exclaimed the children. ‘Why don’t you come and join us?’
But Poppy shook her head. ‘I may not know where I’m going,’ she said, ‘but you’ll not catch me watching stones!’
And on she climbed, up the staircase that wound around the outside of the strange building.
A little further up, she found a man with a broom, sweeping the floor as hard as he could.
‘Excuse me,’ said Poppy, ‘can you tell me where I’m going?’
‘I’ll tell you just as soon as I’ve finished getting this room clean,’ he said, without once raising his head.
‘But it’s already as clean as clean can be!’ exclaimed Poppy.
‘Oh no!’ said the man with the broom. ‘Look! There’s another speck of dust there!’
‘Well,’ said Poppy, ‘I can’t wait around for you to finish making a clean room clean.’
‘But look!’ exclaimed the man. ‘If you took that other broom, we’d get it done in half the time!’
‘Sorry,’ said Poppy. ‘Half of never is still never!’
And with that she climbed on her way, up the staircase that led around the outside of the strange house.
Well, up she went, up and up, until finally she reached a place that was full of people lying on their backs with their mouths wide open.
‘Excuse me!’ said Poppy. ‘I’m trying to find out where I’m going. Can you help me?’
But the people just lay on their backs, and they didn’t close their mouths for a minute. But one of them said: ‘’Ooee ‘ank ‘elk ‘oo. ‘Orry.’
‘’Ooee ‘ank ‘elk ‘oo?’ said Poppy. ‘Oh! You mean “We can’t help you!’”
‘’At’s ‘ight,’ said the man.
‘Well, just tell me what you’re doing, and then I’ll get on my way,’ said Poppy.
‘’Ooee’re‘atching grocks og ‘ain ‘orter,’ said the man.
‘’Ain ‘orter?’ said Poppy. ‘Oh! Rain water! But it’s not raining.’
‘’Ick ‘ill ‘oon,’ said the man.
‘Not today,’ said Poppy.
‘It’s ‘udderly ‘orter!’ said the man.
‘I’m sure it’s lovely water,’ replied Poppy, ‘but I’m on my way.’
Well, she didn’t need to climb much further, before she suddenly found herself right on the top of the strange building. And from there she could see for miles and miles around. And right in the very far distance, she could see a little house, where a woman was working in the kitchen.
‘Wait a minute! That’s where I’m going!’ she exclaimed.
And she ran down that building as fast as she possibly could, past the Mouths-Wide-Open, past the Man with the Broom, past the Stone-Watchers, and past the Man at the Gate. Then she ran and she didn’t stop until she’d reached the Fast Road.
‘I’m going home!’ she shouted, and she started to walk. And before she’d taken a couple of steps… there she was – home!
‘Well,’ said Poppy, as she helped her mother prepare supper, ‘at least I know where I’m going in future – I’m only going where I can do something useful! And I’ll tell you another thing… I also know where I’m not going! And – what’s more – I’m never taking the Fast Road to either place!’