| |
Jack sat quietly in the passenger’s seat while Oscar ripped up the Foothills Freeway. The black Porsche did not go less than 90 miles per hour. He darted in and out of traffic singing along with the blaring music. The car cruised off the exit leading to Jack’s place doing 75.
“Man, my shit is all fucked.’’ Jack said, hiding his eyes with an open hand.
“No man, look,’’ O said, turning in the driver’s seat to face Jack. “You need to just gather yourself. You know what’s happening. Kris is lying’.’’
O continued, “Take my word for it, Chief. She probably thought like everybody else, that you wouldn’t marry Djuana. Now, she making’ her move, trying to throw a wrench in shit so she can be Mrs. Newhouse.’’
“Where you get that from?’’
“Man, I’ve watched that chick for years. She ain’t nothing but poor white trash actin’ like she got something. I peeped her game the first time I saw her. She wants to marry money.’’
Oscar swerved the car onto Jack’s driveway. “You remember Joey? She tried to get him like that, told him she was pregnant before he got traded. But you see, Joey was boning’ that shit everyday. He thought it was his, and I think he was going to marry her. When he got traded, all of a sudden her period came.’’
Jack unbuckled himself, and opened the door. His frown had spread to a scowl. “Wait a minute. You telling me that she did this shit to Joey?’’
O got out of the car, keys in hand. “Yep.’’
“Where the fuck was I?’’
They walked up the stairs to the house.
“Man, you don’t pay attention to shit happening like I do.’’
“You mean, I don’t gossip like you do.’’
When they got to the front door, Jack recalled he didn’t have his keys. “We have to go around back.’’
“Damn! Does she have your wallet and checkbook too?’’
“Suck my nuts, and come on.’’
O continued his lecture while they walked to the back of the house, “I ain’t gonna ask you why she has all your shit.’’
“Then don’t.’’
“Don’t worry about Djuana, she loves you. She just don’t want to be a fool again. When she finds out that it was just a scam, she’ll be back.
“You see, Djuana don’t understand that women are going to be after her man for a long time.’’
Jack glared an understanding stare at O as he slid the patio door open.
Oscar followed him in, changing the focus of his conversation instantly. “Why don’t you lock this shit, sometime. This ain’t New York, but this ain’t paradise either.’’
“Whatever,’’ Jack mumbled. He walked into his home hoping against all doubt that Djuana would be there. He didn’t care if she hit him, cursed him, or even stabbed him, as long as she was there. Still there for him.
She wasn’t.
Oscar went directly to the kitchen and took out two beers. “What you should do is kick Kris’ ass. Fuck that bitch up.’’
Jack took one of the beers from O, and they sat in the living room. Oscar cut on the stereo.
“You hear me?’’ Oscar whined.
Jack gulped beer, popping the bottle out of his mouth and causing foam to rise up the long neck. “It ain’t that easy.’’
“Maybe, what you should do is call her editors, get that bitch fired.’’
“Oh, yeah, who they going to believe, a pure white bread woman or a nigger like me?’’
“Then bust her ass, like I said the first time.’’
Thane put his arms around Tia, and she warmed to his touch.
“So, do I finally get to see all of you, baby?’’
His deep voice spawned goose bumps up and down Tia’s slender arms.
“I think you’ve been good enough to get a peek,’’ Tia cooed. She stood off his sofa and slowly began unbuttoning her oversized, flannel, and button-up shirt. She undid each button with her eyes blazing through Thane.
He stood, finally, and pushed the shirt off her shoulders. The six-foot-six, solidly built Oregon State prison guard licked and kissed each one of Tia’s bony shoulders. Then he swooped her off her feet with ease. He carried Tia’s thin body into his bedroom. He let her fall on his bed, then undressed while she watched.
When Tia reached for her belt buckle, he barked at her to stop. The sudden order startled her.
“I’ll do it,’’ he commanded.
And, when he was down to his bikini briefs, he kneeled onto the bed and feverishly stripped Tia. She panted, and rubbed and caressed his defined muscles.
“Thane don’t hurt me,’’ Tia’s faint voice pleaded. “Please be easy, it’s been awhile.’’
Thane grunted, then grabbed Tia above her ankles; his coarse fingers locked to the bone and parted her legs. Then, the phone rang. By the third buzz, Thane was finished.
The answering machine picked up, and after the music and Thane’s quick line, Tia heard the voice of her sister over Thane’s heavy breathing next to her in the bed.
“It’s my sister,’’ she said.
“Don’t answer it,’’ Thane ordered, holding her arm.
“Let me just see what she wants?’’
Tia dived over Thane, and picked up the phone to hear the click. She quickly dialed her home number.
“You know I want more,’’ Thane uttered. His hand reached up to touch Tia’s breasts.
Tia turned away as her sister answered.
“What’s up?’’ Tia said.
Ansea, holding Tia’s cordless, walked out of Tia’s bedroom, leaving her mother to console Djuana. “I’m sorry to cut in, but Djuana is here, and she’s crying like crazy. Me and Mommy are trying, but we can’t get her to stop, or say anything.’’
“What happened?’’
“All I can tell is something bad with Jack.’’
“Oh my God,’’ Tia exhaled, covering herself with the sheet, and looking for her knee-highs.
“What should I do?’’
“I’ll be right there.’’
Tia hung up the phone, stood up and gathered her clothes off the floor. “I have to get home, my friend is there, she had some kind of argument with her fiancée.’’
“So?’’ Thane said, still laying in bed. “Why you have to go?’’
“She’s my best friend, she would do it for me.’’
Thane sat up, “This the one marrying the baseball player?’’
“Yes, Djuana,’’ Tia said, standing in her jeans and buckling them. “Can you drive me home?’’
“Give me some more first.’’
“Thane. I have to go.’’
Thane’s ride cruised up to Tia’s family home in the Sellwood section of Portland. He rolled up onto the driveway of the Williams’ place, one of the many large, restored Victorian homes in Sellwood.
“You coming in?’’ Tia said, reaching to open her door.
Thane put the car in park and rolled his eyes. “No thanks. You don’t need me in there.’’
Tia stopped herself, and turned to Thane to give him a good-bye kiss. He grabbed her breast, and pinched her nipple.
Tia winced. “You have to be so rough?’’
“You know you love it,’’ he smiled. “When I’m going to get some more?’’
Tia frowned, “I don’t love it when you are rough with me.’’
Thane laughed. “Okay. Fine. Am I going to see you tomorrow?’’
“Call me,’’ Tia shortly replied.
Tia walked through the house to find it quiet and empty. She went upstairs, and again no one. She opened the door to her bedroom, expecting to find her best friend crying in her sister’s lap. Instead, Djuana was asleep in her bed, her back to the door.
Now Tia was mad.
It took Jack a good 40 minutes to find Tia’s phone number while Oscar slept on the couch. He dialed it quickly, anticipating a conversation with the one person he knew could talk for him. But as the phone rang, he wondered if Tia would this time.
“Hi, Jack,’’ Tia said without emotion. “Djuana is here, but she doesn’t want to talk to you.’’
Jack squeezed his glass of scotch. “How is she?’’
“Jack, just give her some time.’’
Jack closed his eyes. “How is she?’’
Tia paused. She looked over at Djuana’s body under the covers in her bed. “She’s fine. You hurt her, just give her some time.’’
“Yeah, I know I hurt her. For what it’s worth, just tell her that I have never loved anyone like I love her. And I never will.’’
Tia was silent when Jack hung up.
He sat still for a long moment, holding the phone on his shoulder, near his ear. He felt he would never hear from Djuana Pioneer again. His hand tightened around the cordless until he had all his strength centered on his hand. His hand shook, his teeth gritted, and his head pumped, but the phone didn’t break, frustrating him all the more. He threw it against the wall above his stereo. It broke then.
Kristen parked in front of her brownstone, oblivious to the Porsche parked across St. Clair. She opened her trunk and took the bags of groceries out. She started up the cement steps, her eyes and hands searching her handbag for the house keys, struggling to keep a handle on the two plastic bags. By the time she reached the top, she could smell the alcohol.
“You gotta be happy now,’’ Jack said, standing down the steps.
Kris turned slowly, edging the bags to her side, away from Jack. He had been drinking, and with his temper, she knew he could kill her if he saw the box of Stayfree maxi pads on top of the bag in her left hand.
“No,’’ she said, fighting fright and nerves. “Why should I be?’’
Jack shrugged his shoulders, “I thought maybe because you got what you wanted.’’
“You really think I wanted to hurt you?’’
“You did.’’
“Why don’t you come in, Jack. We can talk inside, and I can put down these bags.’’
She turned to the door and struggled to put the key in.
“Naw, no. I might have twins then. I thought I’d come over here and beat the living shit out of you. Maybe even snap your neck. But now, I just feel like saying fuck it.’’
Kris’ heart fell into her stomach. She dropped the bags inside, and stood in the doorway.
Jack turned to leave, walking off her stoop, but turned back.
“I just don’t give a fuck anymore,’’ he laughed. “You know something? You were right, all I had to do was be patient. I could die tonight and be happy because I found that one I was looking for.”
He looked away and fought tears. “I just couldn’t keep her, that’s all.’’
Kris came down the steps. “Come on, Jack. Come with me, you’ve been drinking. I’m not going to let you drive.’’
“Right,’’ Jack nodded feverishly as she neared him. “Now you care? Fuck you.’’
Kris took his left arm. “Come upstairs, Jack.’’
Her calm voice and light touch struck a nerve. Jack snatched her throat and pinned her to the Porsche. He held her in place, with his right hand’s fingers wrapped tightly around her neck, and his left hand holding her right arm down on the car. She was squirming, and gasping for air, but he just glared down and her.
“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you?’’
She began crying, pleading. Jack couldn’t sustain his anger, listening to her. He let up his hold a bit, and fought off his tears.
“Why you do this to me?’’
“I love you,’’ Kris cried. “I love you.’’
Jack squeezed the soft skin of her throat between his fingers. She gagged.
“Don’t say that,’’ he cried.
Djuana opened her eyes and was surprised to see she was nose-to-nose with Tia. She watched her friend for a second or two, listening to her light snoring, and admiring her clear, soft skin. Djuana turned onto her back and fixed her eyes onto the ceiling. Once again, she had to gather the pieces of her life and press on.
Unconsciously, her fingers twirled in her own curls while she pictured life without Jack. It would not be easy, she knew, but it had come to this. She had to leave him. She had to get Tia to borrow her father’s car and help her move her things out of Jack’s house. She had to pack her things and say good-bye.
Good-bye.
The word reminded her of when Jack had used it when he found out she was pregnant. He said, not meaning it as the end, but she told him not to use the term because it meant forever. She didn’t want to lose him then, and she was realizing she didn’t want to lose him at all, ever.
But how many times could she be a fool? How many times can a man spring up with another relationship that she was clueless to? It can’t keep happening. She can’t keep allowing men the space to have another entire relationship while she was dedicated.
“Damn it,’’ She bit her fist.
The darkness in the room was comforting, though. Tia, although dead asleep, would not be able to see the tears if she should turn in her slumber. Djuana reached onto the nightstand and retrieved the box of tissue. She tried to blow her nose quietly, and used another to wipe her eyes.
“You want to talk?’’ Tia’s voice, although a faint whisper, startled Djuana.
“No. You can go back to sleep.’’
Tia sat up, behind Djuana. She was happy her friend wasn’t ready to talk about Jack. It would be tit-for-tat; Tia had a problem with a man for the first time in a while, and wanted to get it off her chest with Djuana.
“No, I can’t sleep. I had a nightmare.’’
Djuana smirked, “About my life?’’
“No,’’ Tia plopped her pillow behind her, up against the headboard, and sat back on it. “This guy I’m dating. He is not gentle in anything.’’
Tia looked down at Djuana, who still had her back to her.
Gentle.
Djuana let the word sink into her thoughts. Jack was always gentle, her mind reminisced. He would always caress her body, something she had craved for life. His kisses were always on time. How could she leave him?
Tia’s eyes became focused in the dark, she was gazing across her room into the mirror mounted on a dresser. “I’m getting sick of guys who just want to bang, and that’s it.’’
“Is that what your dream was about?’’
“Yeah. I dreamt he had me pinned down and was cursing and slapping me.’’
Djuana’s eyes widened, she was still facing away from Tia. “Did he do that to you?’’ she asked.
“No.’’
Djuana exhaled, rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“But,’’ Tia continued, “He acts like he wants to.’’
Djuana turned onto her back. “Some women like that.’’
“I don’t. I mean, I like it hard, in a nice rhythm, but Thane be drilling for oil.’’
“He is a big guy.’’ Djuana pictured his muscular frame pounding Tia’s slim body, her legs as wide as can be.
“You better believe it! Huge.’’
“So, you tried to tell him that it hurts?’’
“Every time I do, he just picks up speed. Or, if it’s afterward, he smiles, talking about I know I like it.’’
“Maybe it’s time for a long talk, away from the bed.’’
“No. I’m just going to cut off his supply for a while.’’
Djuana smiled, and it felt good.
Tia slid down to face her friend. “So, now that we’ve cleared up that matter, what happened with you and Jack?
“He called last night while you were asleep.’’
“I bet he did,’’ Djuana frowned hard. “What he tell you?’’
“To make sure I tell you he loves you more than anybody he had ever loved.’’
Djuana shook her head.
“What happened, Dee?’’
“I’m surprised you ain’t hear.’’
“Ansea told me he got that reporter pregnant. I can’t believe that.’’
“Believe it. She just walked up to us, and blurted it out. She asked Jack if he had told me yet, like he had known for awhile.’’
Tia leaned her elbow on the pillow. “What Jack say?’’
“Nothing. He was just frozen. He knew he was busted. He had been acting funny for a few days.’’
“Shit.’’
“Tell me about it,’’ Djuana dropped an arm on her forehead.
“So, you going to leave him for this?’’
“Why not? He was going to keep it from me. I ain’t gonna marry him and he done got somebody else pregnant. How that look?
“And, he had to have been screwing her recently.’’
“Djuana. Did y’all talk about it?’’
“I don’t want to hear any bullshit. There’s nothing he can say. What can he say? I’m sorry?’’
“Djuana? Hear him out.’’
“No. Fuck him.’’
“You know you don’t mean that.’’
“How you know?’’ Djuana turned, and got out of the bed. “He ain’t never going to get fucking whoever he wants out of his system. Once a dog, always a dog. Just like my mother said.’’
Tia watched Djuana angrily plop into the winged chair. Tia slid onto the spot where Djuana had slept, and let her feet hit the floor.
“Jack is not like that, and you know it.’’
“Have you been listening?’’ Djuana said through the darkness. “He went and got somebody else pregnant!’’
“How you know she’s not lying?’’
“Everybody thought I was lying.’’
“Ain’t no everybody,’’ Tia became animated. “Just one asshole. And Jack stood by you all the way. Even though you had trouble telling him.’’
“Who side you on? Huh? Just tell me that?’’
“No side. I think you should hear him out, though. That man has loved you through a lot of thick and thin. He deserves the same.’’
“I’m tired of being a fool,’’ Djuana’s voice lowered.
“Then don’t be one. If you love him, act like it. Go stand by him. That man loves you, I can tell. He was hurting on the phone last night. He tells you how much he misses you every night when he’s on the road.’’
Djuana, offended, became defensive. “Oh, men don’t lie?’’
“When he comes back, he shows you just how much he misses you, right?’’
“It’s so easy for you to say because you want a man like that. But if it was you a man had done this to, you would have dropped him like a bad habit.’’
“I don’t know that.’’
“Sure you don’t,’’ Djuana angrily smirked. Her voice lowered to a whisper, a mumble. “I’m sick of trusting men. Sick of it.’’
“Juanny, don’t you know women can see what you have? They know Jack is a good man. He’s got money, good looks and he carries himself well.’’
“So?’’
“So, the grass is always greener.’’
“Why you making excuses for him?’’
“Because I know he loves you.’’
Tia could see through the darkness Djuana had begun to cry. She got up from the bed, slowly, and dropped to her knees at Djuana’s feet. Djuana fell back into the chair sobbing. Tia moved to the side of the chair, Djuana’s right, and took Djuana’s hand. She kissed it, and Djuana felt her tears.
“I know you love him. Just go to him and hear his side of the story. That’s all I’m asking you to do.’’
Don stood up from the long bench in the hall of the Portland’s detention center when he saw Jack approaching. He watched Jack rip open the manila envelope, put his wallet in his back pocket, and latch his watch on.
“You all right, Poppy?’’
Jack said nothing, barreling through the revolving doors. He was oblivious to the reporters, cameras and lights. Jack and Don jogged down the jail’s steps; the media moved with them.
“My car is over here,’’ Don said, pointing in the opposite of Jack’s tracks.
“Naw, I have to go get O’s Porsche or he’ll kill me.’’
“Let me drive you. Come on.’’
Jack glanced down at his watch, 2:37 a.m. He had spent two hours in jail. Jack walked with Don to his Land Cruiser, first Don took the baby seat out of the front passenger’s spot. They rode to St. Clair.
“She dropped the charges,’’ Don said, between yawns.
“So, you didn’t need to come down and bail me out. I’m sorry I got you out of bed for nothing.’’
“Don’t be.’’
When they got to the Porsche, Don watched Jack carefully.
“I’m going to follow you home,’’ he said out of his driver’s window as Jack got into the car.
“I don’t need an escort, Don.’’
“Yeah, but I don’t need to get home too quick.’’
Jack slammed the car door.
Oscar greeted them on the driveway. “Where the fuck you been? You go out and leave me here?’’
Jack got out the same time as Don did. “Here’s your keys, sorry.’’
O just stared at him. He looked to Don, “Is that all he’s going to say? What you doing here? Y’all went out together and said fuck me?’’
“You acting like a wife. Shut up.’’ Don followed Jack into the house.
O, confused, stood there a second, then darted up the stairs and into the house. “So, is somebody going to tell me what happened? You guys go out or something?’’
Don went into the kitchen, took down a glass, and filled it with ice and water. Jack disappeared into his bedroom. Oscar followed Don into the kitchen, where Don was sitting at the table staring at his glass. “The cops found your boy with his hands around Kristen Eisen’s neck,’’ he said as soon as he saw O.
“He killed her?’’
Don finished his water and bellowed a satisfying sigh. “No, stupid.’’
“He should have. You know that bitch is lying, right?’’
“Yeah, probably. But he shouldn’t have fucked her.’’
“If she was throwing your old ass some leg, you would have sucked it dry.’’
“True,’’ Don said, pointing a finger at Oscar. “But I wouldn’t have fucked her.”
The phone rang, and before it could ring again, Jack dashed into the kitchen and snatched it off its cradle.
“Hello? Yeah. Nothing. Fine. Whatever. No, I don’t give a fuck, actually.’’
O whispered to Don, “Who that?’’
Don shrugged and poured more water.
Suddenly, Jack threw the phone across the living room.
“You breaking up all your phones, New,’’ O said.
“Who was that?’’ Don asked.
“Honeywell,’’ Jack said, glumly. “I have been fined and suspended.’’
Jack let himself fall back on the doorway leading from the kitchen to the hall. He rubbed his temples, and whispered, “I’ll miss the first game in LA’’
Don and Oscar silently gazed in different directions, as if what Jack said was an empty statement.