10
Lost and Found

Sunday, September 16, 11:14 AM

Dorian: hey

tris?

tristan you around?

8:21 PM

Dorian: guess not

well

hope you’re okay

getting kind of worried

hopefully I’ll talk to you tomorrow

Monday, September 17, 3:12 PM

Dorian: hey tris

off to work

talk to you after?

7:58 PM

Dorian: back

you there?

tristan?

are we not watching basker tonight?

9:11 PM

Dorian: guess not

Tuesday, September 18, 5:22 PM

Dorian: dammit

tris

are you ignoring me because of what we did the other night?

I’m sorry

I didn’t mean to do anything to ruin our friendship

I’m so sorry if I did

tristan I just wish you’d talk to me

tell me what’s going on

I’m really worried about you

please tristan

I’m sorry

Wednesday, September 19, 6:49 PM

Tristan: Hey.

Dorian: jesus frikkin christ tristan!!

I thought I’d never hear from you again

are you okay?!

what happened?!

Tristan: I’m fine, Dorian. Don’t worry.

Dorian: oh thank god

tristan I am so sorry

Tristan: Shut up for a second, okay?

You have no reason to be sorry. None.

You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise.

Dorian: then why the hell have you been ignoring me for days?!

Tristan: It’s me who should be sorry.

I’m sorry for not responding earlier, I was sorting some things out.

And . . .

I’m sorry for what I’m about to say to you.

Dorian: tristan you’re scaring the hell out of me

Tristan: Can you just . . . let me type for the next bit? No interruptions?

Dorian: ok

Tristan: We met on the internet.

I really didn’t think anything would come of it, so I didn’t say anything earlier.

And we talked about stuff we liked and things we did and it just never came up.

And I’m not one to hide this from people, I’m really not. Like, I’m super open about it in my real life, I just . . .

I didn’t expect any of this to happen and then it did and then . . .

And then I fell for you. And you said you fell for me. And it was so nice to hear that, that I didn’t even stop to think to tell you . . .

And then we . . . well, in the chat . . . talking about sex and stuff . . . And I just . . . I realized that I had to talk to you about this . . .

And I just didn’t know how . . .

Dorian: are you still there?

I don’t want to interrupt but you haven’t said anything in a while

tristan what do you have to tell me?

Tristan: Um . . .

I know this means that I might lose you, but you deserve to know the truth, before you get too invested in anything.

I’m trans.

Dorian: you’re trans?

Tristan: Yes. I’m trans. I used to have a female body and . . . parts. I’ve been on HRT for a while now and I’ve had top surgery and plan to get more surgery once I’m through with high school. It’s all complicated. I mean . . . This is . . . part of who I am.

Dorian: and that’s why you freaked out and ignored me?

Tristan: Yeah.

Dorian: and this is coming from the guy who was advocating for me to talk to aj about what was bothering me?

Tristan: . . .

Dorian: why didn’t you just talk to me?

instead of freaking out

Tristan: Honestly? I thought I’d lose you.

Dorian: what because you’re trans?

Tristan: Yes?

Dorian: you think you’re the only trans person I’ve ever met?

don’t flatter yourself dork

Tristan: Really?

But all those things you said when you came out to me? All the stuff you were worried about?

Dorian: what . . . I can’t be emotional and spout the crap my parents drilled into me?

you know I didn’t mean any of it

and I said I was sorry

tris

I stand by what I said the other day

you’re perfect

you’re my tristan

Tristan: Despite me being trans?

Dorian: no

idiot

not despite anything

I’m crazy about you just the way you are

but I swear to god tris

if you go missing in action on me again I’m gonna kill you

cause you scared the shit out of me

Tristan: I’m so sorry, Dorian.

Dorian: I’m not even gonna charge you for that one

I deserved that apology

I can’t believe you stopped talking to me over that

you little shit

Tristan: So you still like me?

Dorian: duh

and you still like me even though I’m cis?

Tristan: Ahaha, yeah. I do.

Dorian: good

cause I was scared for a moment

Tristan: Shut up.

Dorian: make me

Tristan: Thanks, Dor.

Dorian: for what?

Tristan: For caring about me. For liking me despite my momentary freak out and lapse in judgement. For wanting to be my friend.

Dorian: who said I wanted to be your friend?

Tristan: . . . You did?

Dorian: oh I’m sorry

I thought I made it clear

I have absolutely no intention of being your friend

I would however like to be your boyfriend

Tristan: . . .

I almost had a damn heart attack, Dorian! Jesus!

Dorian: lol

so?

Tristan: What do you mean “so”?

Dorian: so how bout it?

wanna be my boyfriend?

Tristan: I’ve never met you in real life before! How are we gonna date? Is that even possible?

Dorian: where there’s a will . . .

Tristan: This is crazy. You’re crazy!

Dorian: crazy about you

date me tristan

you know you wanna

Tristan: Fine!

I’ll “date” you! Not like anything will be different from how it is now!

Dorian: it’ll be different in my heart

Tristan: Idiot.

Dorian: it also means I know you won’t run away with another guy

Tristan: Oh yes. Because the boys are lined up at my door, waiting to sweep me off my feet.

Dorian: I would be . . .

if I knew where your door was

Tristan: Shut up.

All right, I have to go. I have a bit of catching up to do. I missed my classes today.

Dorian: what?

why’d you miss class?

Tristan: Damn anxiety. I was freaking out, okay?! I knew I’d have to have this conversation!

Dorian: it ended well

it’s all good

drink some tea or something and relax

everything’s gonna be fine

Tristan: Thanks.

Okay . . . goodnight Dorian.

Dorian: night tris

x

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