Tristan: I have to talk to you about something, Dorian.
Dorian: ok?
Tristan: You know I love you, right?
Dorian: you have literally never said those words to me before
Tristan: I know.
And I’m sorry.
I do . . .
Love you, that is.
I’ve had feelings for you since the beginning.
Dorian: hold on tris
let me guess
you’ve found someone irl that you like
and you want to date them
because you’ll have a better chance at having a real relationship if you can be with them in person
it’s obvious
Tristan: I never said that.
Dorian: you didn’t have to
I know you tris
I get it
I know that feeling of falling for someone irl
don’t get me wrong
I’m angry
but I get it
Tristan: Dorian, would you stop for a second and let me talk, please?
Dorian: I want you to be happy tris
and if that means losing you so be it
that’s the worst part about being in love
your happiness is now more important to me than my happiness
Tristan: Let me talk, dammit!
Dorian: fine
what
Tristan: I was going to say that I have a crush on someone.
And I feel ashamed of it.
And I’m sorry!
I don’t want to leave you, Dor!
I would never do that to you!
Dammit, I just told you I loved you! Why would I preface a breakup with that?!
I just . . . I wanted to be honest with you.
I didn’t want to hide things from my boyfriend.
Dorian: oh
Tristan: Oh?! That’s what you have to say?! You made me feel like crap, Dorian! You accused me of wanting to leave you for someone I had met in real life!
And all you have to say is “oh”?!?!
Dorian: I’m sorry
Tristan: You’d better be sorry! I’m sitting here in tears because my boyfriend thinks I’d just up and leave him for someone I’d just met!
Dorian: I’m really sorry tris
you’re right
I should have heard you out before getting upset
tristan?
Tristan: Yeah, I’m still here. I’m just angry at you.
Dorian: so . . .
who’s this guy you have a crush on?
Tristan: Nobody.
Dorian: tristan please don’t shut me out
you were right
honesty is important in a relationship
and I appreciate what you were trying to do
please?
Tristan: He’s in my English class.
Dorian: oh?
Tristan: Yeah, he’s the guy I thought was annoying at first. We had a project together and . . . he’s a lot nicer in person than I thought.
I dunno . . . he reminds me a bit of you.
And it’s hard because I can see him, you know?
Dorian: ya I know what you mean
Tristan: And sometimes I just imagine that he’s actually you and . . .
And I feel guilty.
Dorian: there’s nothing to feel guilty about
that’s the thing with emotions, we don’t choose who we develop crushes on
what we do choose is how we act on those feelings
I don’t care if you have a crush on someone as long as you don’t go around making out with them
it’s just a harmless crush right?
Tristan: I guess . . .
It didn’t feel harmless.
Dorian: what does that mean?
Tristan: It means that he’s the face I picture whenever I imagine you.
Dorian: ok
now I’m getting kinda jealous
Tristan: Yeah . . .
Dor, I think we should meet.
Dorian: what
Tristan: We don’t know what each other looks like. I think that’s stupid, especially since we’re dating.
So I think we should meet.
Dorian: jesus tris
it’s about goddamn time
I’ve been trying so hard not to push you or make you uncomfortable by asking to meet you
but it’s been killing me!
Tristan: I had no idea! You never told me!
Dorian: I didn’t want to put pressure on you
Tristan: You idiot.
You should have just talked to me about this.
Dorian: ya
I guess I should have
anyways
we should meet
Tristan: Yeah . . .
So I guess the question now is to figure out how far we really are from each other.
Ontario is a big province.
Dorian: I live in hamilton
it’s near toronto-ish
Tristan: Are you messing with me?
Dorian: no?
what?
Tristan: I live in Hamilton too.
Dorian: are you serious?
westdale?
Tristan: Well, yes. This is getting kinda spooky.
Dorian: you’re telling me
Tristan: So, when do you want to do this?
Dorian: um . . .
wanna meet on monday at the moondoe at king and paisley?
Tristan: Okay.
Dorian: I’m really excited
Tristan: I’m terrified.
Dorian: there’s no reason to be scared!
Tristan: YES THERE IS!
What if we meet and we realize there’s no connection in real life?
What if we meet and you’re not attracted to me?!
What if we meet and it turns out you’ve been lying this whole time and you’re really just a serial killer?!
Dorian: what if the world exploded tomorrow?
what if there’s a pandemic and we’re not allowed to meet in person?
you can’t dwell on what-ifs tris
you just have to try
and trust that things will work out
Tristan: Easier said than done.
Dorian: dammit
I wish we could talk about this more
but it’s boardgame night
Tristan: It’s okay. Go play boardgames.
We’ve got our plan. We’re meeting on Monday.
Dorian: ok . . . what time?
Tristan: Um . . . I guess . . . four? Sound good?
Dorian: sounds perfect
Tristan: Tell AJ I say hi.
And we’ll talk again tomorrow.
But try not to get too drunk tonight, okay?
Dorian: I make no promises
Tristan: Goodnight, Dor.
Dorian: night tris
I love you
Tristan: Bye.
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