Chapter 8: Alessandra Curry

 

I walk back to our hotel room in complete bliss. I lift up his shirt and take a big whiff of it. God, it smells just like him. A mix of old spice and musky manliness. I could just breathe this scent for the rest of my life and still never get sick of it. I’m never going to wash these clothes. 

As I walk into our hotel room, my dad’s still in the same spot I last saw him, drinking a beer and watching TV. He takes a look at me and takes a long drink of his beer. “I see you finally came to your senses and started wearing appropriate clothes.” 

And just like that all those happy feelings I was enraptured in vanish replaced with a sickening disgust for my own being. My dad always knows what to say to make me hate myself. “Where’s mom?”

“Fuck if I know…” he growls, downing the rest of his beer. Isn’t he just absolutely pleasant? 

I pack a bag full of makeup and some clothes to leave in Charlie’s room. I leave the room and run into my mother. “Hey, mom!”

“Hey, sweetie. Why are you packed?” she asks.

“I think I’m going to stay with Charlie for the duration of the trip unless of course, he gets sick of me,” I say. 

“Oh don’t think like that. No one could ever get sick of you,” she says. “So is your father still being a hermit?” 

“Yeah, what’s his deal?” I ask. 

“I don’t know. I swear he’s going to die watching TV. I can’t get him to come out. I’ve had it up to hear with him,” my mother says as she motions up to her neck. 

“I’m sorry, mom,” I say.

“Oh, you have nothing to be sorry about,” she says.

“I feel like it’s all my fault,” I say.

Her face breaks from the smile. “Oh, honey. None of this is your fault. If anything, your father is to blame. His attitude has really deteriorated over the years. I can hardly stand being around him anymore. I just don’t understand why he’s become such a bitter man,” she says, then she quickly changes the subject. “So, am I going to meet this man who’s captured your eye?” 

“Yeah, he said to meet him at the bar in the main plaza,” I say. “I’m surprised you're so chill about me staying with him.”

“You’re an adult, I trust your decision and once I meet him I’m sure any doubts I have will fade,” she says. 

“Mom…” I say as I look up at her and take a deep breath. “I don’t think I’d be here without all the love and support you’ve given me. You’ve always been there for me even when no one else was.” 

“Aww, honey. I’m your mother, I will always love you,” she says. 

I somehow manage to fight back the tears and bury myself in my moms' arms. “I love you so much.”

“Aww, baby, I love you too,” she says, patting my head. 

I walk with my mother down the sidewalk until we arrive at the bar. There he was, sitting on a barstool sipping a drink. He smiles as he sees me. He gets up and before I realize it, I’m in his arms. After he lets me go, I take a quick glance at my mom. “Mom, this is Charlie. Charlie, my mom.” 

“It’s very nice to meet the one responsible for raising such an amazing woman,” he says, as he pulls her into a hug as well. “I must say, I now know where Sandra gets her good looks from.” 

“Aww thanks,” she says, blushing. 

“Hey, I brought a bag to stay if you still want that,” I say.

“Yeah, here. I’ll take that. I made reservations at the hotel restaurant. If you two want to head over there, I’ll drop this off at my room,” he says. “The reservations are under Charlie Sheppard.” 

I never actually knew his last name. That name sounds awfully familiar. I hand him my bag and he gives me a smile and wink. He rushes off to his room and we head over to the restaurant. 

“He definitely isn’t lacking in the looks department and he’s rather flattering,” my mother says. 

“He is super nice and sweet. Plus, I’ve met some of his family already and they’re really accepting,” I say. 

“That’s a plus,” she says. 

As we reach the restaurant, they sit us at a table for three. Charlie shows up a minute later and sits down next to me. “So, I have yet to actually eat here. Have either of you?”

My mother and I shake our heads no. “Then I guess it’ll be a new experience for all of us.”

We all take a look at the menu and they have just about everything you can think of. I make up my mind as soon as I see the sushi. 

“So, what are you two getting?” Charlie asks. 

“I think I might try the Taco Salad,” my mother says. 

“I’m definitely getting the Dragon Roll,” I say. 

“Both of those sound delicious,” he says with a smile. “I think I might try that Dragon Roll as well. I just recently got into sushi this year actually. My niece is a big sushi lover and finally convinced me to try it and I really enjoyed it.”

“I love sushi!” I say. 

The waitress comes and takes our order. 

“So, Charlie, what do you do for work?” my mother asks. Here we go. I knew she was going to interrogate him. 

“I run a small media company that a bunch of friends and I started,” he says. “How about you?”

“I teach English at a local community college,” she says. 

“Oh, I can definitely see that. You seem very wise and well-spoken,” he says. 

“Well thank you. You are too kind,” she says with a smile. 

“What about you, Sandra? I don’t think I asked you that before,” he says. 

I tense up at the question. “I… I just work at the local grocery store as a sales clerk.” 

“Nice. We all have to put in our time. I used to work at a grocery store myself, stocking shelves. I’m sure you’re the best employee they have. Are you going to college?” he asks. 

“I was, but I decided to take some time off to transition,” I say.

“Oh, right. I totally understand,” he says. 

“So, what brings you to this lovely resort?” my mother asks. I notice Charlie wince. 

“This was supposed to be my honeymoon. I was set to get married a few weeks ago, but I walked in on my ex-fiance having sex with another man. As you can see, the wedding was called off. However, if not for that, I would’ve never met your daughter,” he says. I can’t help but blush. 

“Wow, I’m so sorry. That is terrible. I can’t imagine how you were feeling about it all,” my mother says. 

“Yeah, I was pretty devastated. I wasn’t even planning on going, to be honest. But the people at my work all convinced me and plus niece is here on spring break with her friends and my sister told me if I didn’t go she’d probably murder me,” he says getting a laugh from both my mother and me. 

“Well, I bet your sister is sleeping soundly knowing you’re here to watch after her daughter,” my mother says. 

“I’ll be honest with you, my niece is one tough cookie. She is more mature than my younger brother who shared my honeymoon with me. She’s really the one who’s watching after us,” I say. 

“Yeah, she’s really cool, mom. We went swimming with the dolphins together. She’s been really nice to me,” I say. 

“Oh well, I would love to meet her. She sounds really nice,” my mother says. 

The waitress brings out our food. 

“Oh, they gave us chopsticks. I’ve never used them before. Have you?” he asks, looking over at me. 

“Yes, I love using chopsticks,” I say as I grab them and dig in. He nods, clearly impressed.

“Wow, you’re a natural. How do you eat with them?” he asks. 

“Here, you hold them out like this. You want the bottom one a little bit longer out than the top so you can use it as a scoop. You use the top one as a kind of pincher between your first two fingers and your thumb,” I say as he tries to mimic me. “Let me see your hand.”

He holds out his hand and I take it in mine. He has big strong hands and yet they’re really soft. I place the chopsticks in his hands how they should be held and move his fingers for him to show him how it’s done. He smiles and tries to pick up a sushi roll. He drops it the first time but seems to catch on quickly. “Look at that, learn something new every day.”

He looks up at my mother. “Have you ever eaten with chopsticks?” 

“Nope, I’m afraid not,” she says smiling. 

We finish up eating and Charlie is insistent on paying the bill to my mother’s dismay. They compromise as my mother leaves the tip. We all walk out together before we end up in the main plaza.

“Well, it was very nice to meet you, Charlie,” my mother says. 

“You as well. I had a very nice time,” he says as he hugs her. 

“I should get going and leave you two to your night. Just stay safe and have fun,” my mother says. 

“Thanks, mom. I love you,” I say as I hug her. 

“I love you too. Don’t stay out too late,” she says before kissing me on the cheek.

“I won’t,” I say as she walks away towards the setting sun. 

“Well, your mom seems really nice,” Charlie says. 

“Thanks! I don’t know where I’d be without her,” I say. “She’s been the only one who’s supported me through everything.”

“Having someone you can lean on and that will support you sure makes life more bearable,” Charlie says. “What do you say we go take a walk on the beach.” 

“I would love that,” I say and he smiles holding out his hand. I take it with a smile of my own. We make our way out to the beach. 

“So. What were you studying in college before you decided to take time off?” he asks me. 

“I want to become a video game developer actually,” I announce with pride. “I was majoring in computer programming with a minor in English lit. I’m a huge book worm and I love video games so I figured I could combine storytelling and computer programming to create authentic video games with rich storytelling.” 

“Wow, that sounds amazing,” he says, caressing his thumb against the back of my hand. His warmth spreads up my arm and through my body. “What are some of your favorite books and video games?” 

“Well, I’m a huge Aratheon fan. They’re one of my all-time favorite book series and video game franchises. I’ve read every single book that’s come out by them and their game makes me feel really included. I love how inclusive they are with their characters and yet it doesn’t feel forced. It allows me to be the woman I know I am and I met all of my friends in the game. Which sounds rather pathetic now that I say it out loud.”

“That doesn’t sound at all pathetic. I met most of my friends playing World of Warcraft,” he says. 

“You play World of Warcraft? I didn’t even know that game was still around. Have you ever played Aratheon?” I ask. 

“I haven’t played wow in a long time. Yeah, I really love Aratheon,” he says with a smile that implies something more. 

“It’d be my dream to work for them. We should totally become friends in-game!”

“I bet that’ll happen. You’re a very bright woman and I’m sure that’s exactly what they’re looking for,” he says with a smile. “And I’d love to. We could raid Chillshore or something.”

“I hope so, but it’s hard to find a good-paying job as a trans girl. No one wants to hire us and a lot of times girls like us have to resort to survival sex work. It’s really quite sad,” she says. 

“Yeah, that does sound terrible. Nobody should be forced to have to sell their bodies to earn a living,” he says. 

“That’s why after I become a successful video game developer, I’m going to use my earnings to make a difference. I want to help people of the trans community find work that they can be proud of. I especially want to help those who have been disowned by their families and end up homeless. I know first hand how it feels to be disapproved of by my parents. If it weren’t for my mother, my father would’ve surely kicked me out,” I say. 

“That’s very noble of you. I’m sorry you had to experience that with your father. I’m glad you had your mother in your life. She truly seems like a genuinely kind person,” he says. 

“She really is. I love her more than anything,” I say as I look up into his hazel eyes that seem to brighten in the setting sun. “What about you? What are your parents like?” 

He tears his gaze away from me and stares out into the ocean. “Well, my mother died when I was young. She developed a brain tumor and it… It took her from us.” 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That’s horrible,” I say as I feel my heart melt. 

“She was a real fighter.” He pauses to take a deep breath. I notice a tear fall from the corner of his eye. “I just wish I could’ve spent more time with her. I was such an idiot back then. I was only 10 when she died. I tried to avoid visiting her because she didn’t look like the mother I grew up to love. She became frail and bald. She looked almost like a mummy. I just couldn’t admit she was dying. I didn’t want to believe it and I clung to the notion she’d get better and return to the way she was. The way I wanted to remember her as. I would give anything to get that time back. To see her and say how much I loved her.” 

My heart is literally bleeding out for him. I take his other hand with mine as tears start to fall from my eyes. “I’m sure she knew that and you were just a kid. You didn’t know any better.”

“I did. I knew deep down inside that she was dying. I just… I just couldn’t bring myself to admit it. I was selfish and I didn’t want to see her because it made me feel uncomfortable. My sister was much older than me and clung to our mother’s side. She was so mad at me when I said I didn’t want to see her. Cody was too young at the time. He doesn’t remember much of our mother. Not like Kate and me. I almost envy him. I remember all the good times we shared. She would always sit with us and we’d do crafts. She loved to read to us. Like you, she was a huge bookworm. She definitely instilled a love for books in me. She would always nurture our creativity and help us discover our own skills. She was also a fierce soccer mom. You did not want to be on the wrong end of her icy glare. I remember she tore into a ref who made a bad call at one of my games. Funny enough, she also taught us how to play poker.”

“She sounds amazing. I wish I could’ve met her,” I say. 

“Oh, I know she would’ve loved you. When she’s not in the stands fighting with the refs, she was a very kind woman. She taught us to treat everyone with respect no matter what color their skin was, who they chose to love, or what gender they identified as. At least my sister and I. Cody still has a few things to learn about kindness. He’s still a bit of a child,” he says. 

“I can definitely tell she had a big influence on your life. You’re the kindest guy I’ve ever met,” I say.  

“Thanks. She really was,” he admits. 

“What about your dad?” I ask. 

“He and I never really saw eye to eye. Especially after mom died. He didn’t take it well. He started drinking heavily and we’ve traded some harsh words with each other. I haven’t spoken to him since I graduated high school. Cody still speaks to him,” he says.

“Aww, I’m so sorry to hear that. I can relate,” I say. 

“Yeah, that seems to be one of the many things we have in common,” he says, smiling even though I can see the pain in his eyes. He suddenly leans in and kisses me. I melt from the touch of his lips. When he finally breaks away, he looks deep into my eyes. “I never really talked about my mother with anyone. I always felt maybe if I could just forget about her the pain would go away, but it never truly does go away. And besides, she deserved more than that. She deserved to be remembered for the amazing woman she was.” 

“Well, I’m glad you can trust me enough to tell me about her. She really does sound like an amazing woman with a beautiful heart,” I say.

“She really was,” he says. I lean my head against his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. He wraps me tightly in his embrace. He then whispers in my ear. “Thank you.”

I look up at him with an eyebrow raised. 

“I was in a really bad place after I found my ex cheating on me. I honestly thought I was going to spend this trip in a drunken stupor, but after meeting you I feel whole again. Even better than whole. You make me feel something I never felt with her. A real connection,” he says as he cups my face with his big strong hands. 

“I feel the same way,” I say. He kisses me and I feel his warmth. I never thought I’d find someone who actually cares about me as a human being. The fact that I’m trans doesn’t matter to him. He likes me for me.

As the sun dips below the horizon in a beautiful array of warm colors, twilight takes over and we slowly make our way back to his room. 

Once inside, we lose all sense of control and our clothes. We kiss each other with a hot intense passion. Our hands conquer each other’s bodies. For the first time ever, I feel comfortable in my own skin. Especially with the way he explores my body. He makes me feel wanted and desired. He makes me feel beautiful. Sexy even. I’ve never felt this way before. I finally feel like I belong. Like I have a home in his arms. 

After I douche in the bathroom, I end up on the bed on my stomach with his face buried in my butt. His tongue is warm and hot and drives me wild. His hands massage my back and legs. The pleasure I feel is incredible. Moans come out of me like a symphony. He grabs the vaseline and straddles my thighs. Once he lathers his cock and my ass, he slowly breaks into my butt with such a gentle and slow patience. 

I groan as his cock slips into me, filling me up completely. His hands slide underneath me and hold me tightly. He leaves a trail of kisses from my shoulder up to my neck before he nibbles on my ear. I gasp as he slowly fucks me. I lean back and our lips meet. He kisses me with such ferocious love I feel like a lioness in heat with a king.

Unlike Liam who took my virginity and treated me like an object for his own pleasure, Charlie makes me feel loved and safe. He is so tender and kind to me. His touch is warm and welcoming. He doesn’t force himself nor does he put his own pleasures before mine. He’s patient and gentle until I beg him to be rough. He pulls out and flips me over, bringing my legs up to his shoulders. After he enters me, his lips attack mine. Our fingers intertwine. 

His touch teaches me what love is supposed to feel like. He makes me feel like the woman I’ve always known I am deep down inside. And when we climax, we become one. 

However, it’s after we come down when he truly makes me feel special. The way he holds me warms my heart. The way he kisses me shows how much he cares. He’s not ashamed to love me. There is no sense of regret in his eyes, only compassion. This is how sex is supposed to feel. Loving and passionate. It's not long before I fall asleep in his arms.