Emmett called Dalton to come to Darby Hunt’s former residence and allowed him the pleasure of getting the old biddy into his squad car. Emmett followed Dalton to the station.
‘Put her in the interrogation room,’ he told Dalton. ‘And make sure she’s secured – as many restraints as appears necessary.’ This was a formidable woman, and he didn’t want her breaking through her restraints and going for his jugular.
‘Yes, sir,’ Dalton said as he helped the old lady navigate with her walker and her cuffed-together wrists. At this point, Emmett didn’t care how bad it looked; the woman was a menace.
He went to his office and sat down at his – Milt’s – desk and called Holly on the intercom. ‘We got anything harder than coffee around here?’ he asked.
‘No, but I can put some chocolate in your coffee – double the caffeine?’ she suggested.
‘Sounds better than nothing,’ Emmett said and disconnected. Then sat there dreading the interview to come. She wouldn’t tell him squat, he knew that. Even if she knew who killed Darby, she wouldn’t tell him. There had to be a way to play her. He envied Milt that skill – that innate knowledge he had on how to play a person to get the right information. Emmett had never been good at that. As police chief of Longbranch, he’d left that kind of stuff to his staff. He’d gotten the job of police chief straight out of the academy. He’d been an MP in the army, gone to the academy and was the oldest graduate of his class. Those two things had led the desperate city council of Longbranch, who’d been without a chief for nearly a year, to recruit him. He’d remained police chief for twenty-something years. Until all hell broke loose.
So, no, he didn’t have that skill. That skill of playing a perp, of getting the information needed by a few key questions dropped in the right spots. Unfortunately, neither did Dalton, who was the only deputy in the office at the moment. Nita didn’t come in until the late shift, and Anthony was out in the west part of the county trying to figure out why anyone in Oklahoma would want to rustle sheep.
Holly came in with his doctored coffee and he took a sip. Hum, he thought, not bad. He drank the rest of it, sighed so deep his toes tingled, and stood up. Time to face the beast, he thought.
The Prophesy County Sheriff’s Department interrogation room was next to the break room, across the bullpen from the wing where his and Milt’s offices were located. He crossed in front of the bullpen, where he got a hearty salute from Holly, to the hall that led to the cells, and straight to the interrogation room.
Elizabeth Hunt was sitting in a straight-back chair, her walker between the chair and the table, leaning her head on the padded arm of her walker.
‘Ma’am,’ Emmett said as he walked in.
No response.
‘Ma’am?’ he said a little louder.
Still no response.
Oh, shit, Emmett thought. She’s up and died on me.
‘Ma’am?’ He tried again, this time touching her arm.
She reared back like a bucking bronco and shouted, ‘Don’t you touch me!’
Emmett went around the table to sit opposite her. ‘Miz Hunt, we need to talk,’ he said.
‘I ain’t talking to the likes of you!’ she spat out. ‘You killed my boy!’
‘No, ma’am, I didn’t kill your boy. We don’t know who did, but we’re trying to find out—’
‘Bullshit! You killed him! I saw you! You did it!’ she shouted.
Uh oh, Emmett thought. Maybe she’s not playing with a full deck. ‘Miz Hunt, do you know what day it is?’ he asked.
She glared at him. ‘What’s that got to do with the price of tea in China?’
‘Just answer, please, ma’am.’
‘What was the question?’
‘What day is it?’
‘The day after you shot my boy! That’s what goddam day it is, you asshole!’ She touched her nose. ‘You trying to kill me, too?’ she shouted. ‘Where’s my oxygen?’
‘Ma’am? You’re on oxygen?’ Emmett asked.
‘Goddamit! I can’t breathe! Where’s my oxygen?’ she shouted, her breathing getting more agitated.
Emmett ran to the door and opened it, calling to Holly, ‘We got any oxygen around here?’
‘Not that I know of,’ Holly said, jumping up from her seat. ‘You need an ambulance?’
‘Yeah, do that now.’ Turning, he called, ‘Dalton!’
Dalton high-tailed it to where Emmett stood in the doorway. ‘Can you get back in Miz Hunt’s house?’
‘Yes, sir. Door’s still open, I reckon.’
‘Go in, look for any oxygen equipment and bring it back here, got it? And move!’
‘Yes, sir!’ Dalton said, and jogged off to the exit and his squad car.
Dalton had barely gotten out of the parking lot before the ambulance pulled in. Holly was in the room with Mrs Hunt so Emmett ran outside to show them in.
When they got back into the interrogation room, Holly had the old lady breathing more calmly, although she was still wheezing a bit. The paramedics got her on oxygen and started their business.
‘We need to explain to these boys that she ain’t going to the hospital!’ Emmett told Holly.
She nodded. ‘I’ll handle it,’ she said. And Emmett knew she could. Even dressed as she was – hair in two small ponytails on the top of her head, each ponytail a different color with one red and one blue, full gothic make-up, a Grateful Dead T-shirt tied in a knot at her waist and black leggings under a pink tutu – the girl commanded respect as well as attention. And then there was the whole lust factor. The paramedics would listen to her for one of those three reasons, and Emmett didn’t really care which one.
Johnny Mac was really impressed with Janna, as though he hadn’t already been impressed enough. She was beating the snot out of Early in Uno. Every time she threw down a draw two card in front of him she laughed, and Johnny Mac couldn’t help beaming at her. He failed to notice the unhappy looks coming his way from Early.
When the second game Janna won was over, Lyssa, who hadn’t been paying that much attention, said, ‘I want to go see my mom.’ Her voice was dejected.
Early said, ‘I was real sorry to hear about Mr Turner. He seemed like a nice enough guy.’
Lyssa shrugged. ‘He was OK, I guess. And yeah, it’s sad. But I’m worried about my mom. I really want to see her.’
‘Then why don’t you?’ Johnny Mac said.
Lyssa looked at Janna, who said, ‘My mom said Lyssa needed to stay away for a little while. But if it was my mom, I’d want to go see her, too.’
Johnny Mac looked out the glass walls of the children’s pavilion at Mr Tulia, Janna’s father, drinking coffee and working at what looked to Johnny Mac like a crossword puzzle. And he had an idea.
‘Janna, why don’t you go keep your dad busy, while Early and I sneak Lyssa to her mom’s cabin?’ Johnny Mac said.
Janna grinned. ‘I’d rather be the one sneaking her in, but as he’s my dad, I guess I’m the one to keep him busy. And I know just what to do! Watch for this signal,’ she said, pulling at her earlobe. ‘When you see me do that, haul butt!’
So, OK, I wasn’t going to mention to Esther Monte that Lance wasn’t who he said he was, or tell her who he actually was, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t interview her again. By this time, she should be somewhat calmed down, I thought. So I knocked on her cabin door.
She opened it, still in her nightgown, with a robe hastily thrown on but not tied, the flimsy material showing a little more of Esther Monte than my wife would have preferred. Her hair was sticking out in several directions, mascara was smeared on her face, globs of stuff at the inside corners of her eyes, and that white stuff that cakes on your lips when you drool during sleep – all around her mouth. Being a manly man, I didn’t gag.
‘Sorry if I woke you, Esther,’ I said.
‘What?’ She shook her head. ‘I guess.’ She turned and walked into her cabin. I followed. ‘Rose gave me a sleeping pill last night, or early this morning. I think it was more for her benefit than mine.’ She smiled weakly. ‘She’s a good woman, that Rose. Barely knows me and yet she stayed up with me half the night.’
‘Yeah, she seems like a real nice woman,’ I said. ‘Want me to get you something to drink? Some coffee?’
‘Oh, God, yes!’ she said. She handed me the phone. ‘Order some, please. And some toast. I’m hungry but I can’t see myself getting dressed enough to go to the dining room for breakfast.’
I called the room service number on her phone, ordered a coffee and a glass of sweet iced tea, and toast. When they questioned the existence of sweet tea, I simply said, ‘Iced tea and several packets of sugar, please.’
Yankees and foreigners know nothing about sweet tea, one of the wonders of the modern world. For those of you who remain uninformed, sweet tea is when you put the sugar in the tea pitcher while the tea is still hot from steeping, stir it till the cows come home, then serve it over ice. It’s a kind of sweet you can’t get just pouring sugar into a glass of already iced tea.
While we waited, I asked her, ‘Are you feeling better this morning?’
She sighed heavily. ‘I guess,’ she said. ‘I still can’t believe he’s dead.’ She looked up at me with large, dark brown eyes swimming in tears, and said, ‘Why? What did he ever do to anyone? He was nice to everybody! He was even nice to Rose’s in-laws, for Christ’s sake! And he treated all the kids like they were his own! He adored Lyssa. I really thought – I mean, I thought—’ She gulped back a sob. ‘I thought I’d finally met the one!’ And she burst into tears and fell face-first onto my last clean shirt. To my shame, all I could do was think about the mascara and eye-boogers and the mouth gunk.
When the knock came at the door, I managed to extract her and stand up to answer it. I’ll admit I was weak enough to glance down at my shirt. It was a God-awful mess.
At the door was the steward with our order. He brought in the tray and laid it on the small dressing table. ‘My condolences, Ms Monte,’ he said, which just got her started up again.
I whisked him out of the cabin and sat back down on the bed and began patting her back. ‘Esther, you gotta buck up. There are questions that have to be answered.’
Rubbing her eyes with her fists, like a little kid, she finally looked up at me and said, ‘Like what?’
First I handed her the cup of coffee and some sweetener and added sugar to my tea, stirring it with my finger since the steward hadn’t seen fit to bring an iced-tea spoon – or any utensil for that matter.
Finally answering her question, I said, ‘Like, did anyone have a problem with Lan—’
‘I just told you! He was nice to everybody! And everybody loved him!’
‘Well, somebody didn’t!’ I said. She looked at me like I’d just stepped on her puppy. Which I suppose I sorta had. ‘I’m sorry, Esther, but the man’s dead. And somebody poisoned him.’
‘Could the poison have been meant for someone else?’ she asked. ‘Like Crystal?’ Then her eyes got real big. ‘Yes! Can’t you just imagine how many people want to kill Crystal? Like Lucy Tulia, for one!’
‘Lucy?’ I said. ‘Why in the world would Lucy—’
‘Because Crystal was after her man, that’s why!’ Esther said.
‘What makes you say—’
‘Because I saw Crystal coming on to Mike! And I heard him flirting back, that’s why!’
‘When was this?’ I asked her.
‘Right before Josh went missing,’ she said. ‘You and Jean had gone to your cabin early – I think Jean was sick of us, and who could blame her?’
‘Oh, no, I don’t—’
‘Please,’ she said and gave me a look. I shut up. ‘Anyway, Vern and Crystal had gone back to their cabin, which just left Lucy and Mike and Rose and me. We three ladies went to the bathroom together—’
‘Yeah!’ I interrupted. ‘Why do y’all do that?’
She gave me another look, which I guess I deserved, and went on, ‘—which left Mike alone. I was the first one to come out and Mike wasn’t at the table. Then I heard his voice by the entrance to the club right there?’ she said, and I nodded to show I knew where she meant. ‘And I looked and saw Crystal with him. Vern must have gone to sleep and she’d snuck out. Her back was to the wall, her arm was extended around Mike’s neck, one knee up rubbing his thigh, and he was leaning forward, one arm supporting himself against the wall, and the other, well, it appeared to be wandering.’
‘Shit,’ I said.
‘Yeah, I know,’ Esther said. ‘I was hoping that like you and Jean, those two were an exception to the rule.’
‘What makes you think Jean and I are?’ I asked out of curiosity.
‘Have you ever seen the way the two of you look at each other?’ she said, then laughed slightly. ‘I guess not. Hard to see the look on your own face.’
I nodded. ‘Glad you noticed. I think we are definitely an exception to the rule. So,’ I said, clearing my throat, ‘did they notice you?’
‘Not until I said, “Cut it out!” in a loud whisper. I could see Lucy and Rose coming out of the bathroom.’
‘So what happened?’
‘Mike turned white and moved away and Crystal just laughed, patted his junk and moved away. The girls didn’t see her.’
‘Patted his junk?’ I repeated.
‘It means—’
‘I know what it means. It just seems kinda—’
‘Gross? Yeah. Even Mike seemed taken aback by it.’
Well, shit, I thought. I was not happy. Now I was going to have to interrogate Mike, and I had begun to think of him as a sorta friend. Shit.
Since Holly seemed to have such a calming effect on Elizabeth Hunt, Emmett decided to let her do the interview. Back in the closet where they kept the stationery was also where they kept all the seldom-used equipment they’d purchased over the years. Emmett remembered, when he first signed on with the sheriff’s department, Milt showing off some of the goodies stored there. One of the goodies was a communication system: a mic and an ear bud. So when Dalton was back with Mrs Hunt’s canister of oxygen and her cannula, Emmett made him sit with her while he took Holly to the bullpen.
‘This,’ he said, showing her the ear bud, ‘goes in your ear so you can hear me. What I want to do is give you questions to ask her; and then you repeat them to her. And I’ll hear the answers through the interrogation room’s audio system.’
‘You go in the break room and talk in the walkie,’ Holly said, ‘so I can see if I can hear you.’
He nodded and moved to the break room. Staring out the window in the door, he pushed the button on the hand-held walkie and said, ‘If you can hear me hold up three fingers.’
Looking through the glass-topped door of the break room he could see her with three raised fingers. ‘If you can hear me, give me the one finger you’d like to use the most.’
Grinning, Holly held up her middle finger.
‘Well played, Miss Humphries,’ he said into the walkie. ‘Well played.’
Johnny Mac, Early and Lyssa went to the outdoor part of the children’s pavilion and waited until the pavilion babysitter was looking the other way, then jumped over the fence onto the deck. They scurried around the deck to a door which led to the food court, which was quite close to the corridor that led to the pool area. Janna’s dad’s back was to them; she glanced their way, then quickly back to her dad, and tugged on her earlobe. They hustled through the door and into the pool area, home free.
The kids hurried through the pool area, down the long promenade to the elevator that took them down two floors to the doorway that led to their cabins. They were quiet and watchful as they made their way towards the cabin Lyssa shared with her mom. So quiet that they were able to hear a conversation going on at the open door of a cabin a few doors away. They slowed on hearing it.
‘I love you,’ a man’s voice said.
‘I love you, too, baby,’ a woman’s voice said.
Lyssa whispered, ‘That’s Mrs Weaver!’
‘That’s not their cabin,’ Johnny Mac whispered back.
‘I know!’ Lyssa whispered again, wiggling her eyebrows.
Crystal Weaver must have heard them, because the door to the cabin closed with her on the outside. ‘What are you little hellions doing out on your own?’ she said, grabbing Johnny Mac by his shirt front. ‘I thought your daddy was going to keep y’all under lock and key? Does he even know y’all are off on your own again?’ She fairly shouted it all, spittle flying everywhere.
‘Let me go!’ Johnny Mac said, pulling away from her grasp on his shirt.
‘Oh no you don’t, you little bastard!’ she yelled, and grabbed him by the arm.
Lyssa jumped on Crystal’s back and began hitting her with her fists. On seeing this, Early gained the courage to try a fairly ineffective karate chop to the arm Crystal was using to hold onto Johnny Mac. As ineffective as it would have been in any other situation, Crystal was not a terribly physical woman, and it was enough – added to the monkey on her back – to make her let go of Johnny Mac and begin swatting at Lyssa, who had begun pulling her hair. The red tresses came off in Lyssa’s hands and she fell to the ground.
All this happened just about the time Johnny Mac’s father, the sheriff, rounded the corner from Lyssa’s mom’s cabin.
I heard all sorts of noise coming from around the corner and coulda sworn some of the voices sounded like kids. I had a bad feeling as I rounded that corner. And I was right. A well-stacked blonde with short, spiky hair stood over Esther’s daughter Lyssa, while Early and my son tried to pick the little girl up. Lyssa had something fuzzy in her hands that I didn’t immediately recognize.
‘What’s going on here?’ I said to the blonde. She turned to face me, and I recognized her. ‘Crystal?’
‘I thought you were going to keep these brats locked up? Look what they’ve done!’ she said, touching her head as a tear sprang to her eye.
‘Dad! Listen—’
‘Don’t even start, John!’ I said. ‘Lyssa, is that Mrs Weaver’s . . . ah, hair?’
‘Yes, sir,’ she said as Early got her to a standing position. She handed me the wig, which I handed to Crystal.
‘Thank you,’ Crystal said, another tear falling from her eye.
‘Ma’am, I suggest you go on to your cabin now,’ I said to Crystal, ‘while I deal with these children.’
‘I hope you do!’ she said and stalked off.
I turned to the three kids and pointed in the direction of our suite. ‘Our cabin now!’
With both boys holding Lyssa’s hands the three charged off, with me following at a slower pace. They were waiting for me at the door, which I unlocked and opened for them to enter. I pointed to Jean’s bed. I wanted to sit on my bed, which was closest to the sliding glass doors and meant that the glare would be behind me, giving me a good view of the three miscreants, but giving them a more obscured view of me.
‘Why in the hell did you grab Mrs Weaver’s wig?’ I asked. I mean, I was curious.
‘I didn’t!’ Lyssa exclaimed.
‘See, Dad—’
‘I’m not talking to you, John,’ I said. I never call him John, or at least rarely do it. Only when I’m seriously pissed at him. I could see his whole body slump.
‘Early,’ I said. ‘Please tell me why you were out of the children’s pavilion.’
‘No, sir,’ he said.
I looked at him in surprise. He’d been such a great stool pigeon up to now.
‘Why not?’ I asked.
‘My name is Early Rollins, sir. I don’t have a rank, and I don’t have a serial number, sir.’
‘It’s all my fault,’ Lyssa said.
Both Johnny Mac and Early said, ‘Don’t!’
But she just shook her head at them. ‘I wanted to see my mom. I was real insistent about it and I talked Early and Johnny Mac into taking me back to my cabin—’
‘Why didn’t you go by yourself?’ I asked, which I thought was a reasonable question.
Lyssa just stared at me. She didn’t seem to have an answer for that.
‘Dad?’ Johnny Mac ventured.
‘Yes?’ I said.
Johnny Mac took a deep breath. ‘OK,’ he said. ‘Early and I told Lyssa we’d go back with her. We talked Janna into keeping her dad busy and, when the babysitter wasn’t looking, we hopped over the fence onto the deck.’ He took another deep breath. ‘It was all my idea and all my fault.’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘I hope you’re ready to give up your plans for college.’
‘Huh?’ he said.
‘Just kidding,’ I said. ‘But when we get back home you’re grounded for a month, and I’m serious about that.’
He sighed. ‘Yes, sir,’ he said.
As I started to get up, Lyssa said, ‘Don’t you want to know what we found out about Mrs Weaver?’
I settled back down. ‘Other than her being a blonde, you mean?’
Lyssa waved her hand at me, a gesture I’d seen her mother use a dozen times on this cruise. ‘Oh, that’s nothing compared to what we heard!’
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Give.’
‘Well, we saw a lady’s backside sticking out of an open cabin door, and then we heard this male voice say, “I love you” and she – Mrs Weaver – said, “I love you, too, baby.” Just like that!’
‘How did you know it was Mrs Weaver?’ I asked.
‘I recognized her voice,’ Lyssa said. ‘And I told Johnny Mac who it was, but I whispered and he whispered back, but still she must have heard, because she turned around and the man she was talking to – the man who loved her’ – (and here she made a face and exaggerated the word ‘love’) – ‘slammed the door to the cabin and she started screaming at us—’
‘And then she grabbed my shirt,’ Johnny Mac picked up the narrative, ‘but I pulled away, and then—’
‘She grabbed Johnny Mac’s arm—’ Early said.
‘And then I jumped on her back—’ Lyssa said.
‘And starting hitting her and I karate-chopped her arm—’ Early said.
‘And she let me go!’ Johnny Mac said.
‘But then she started hitting at Lyssa—’ Early said.
‘And I started pulling her hair,’ Lyssa said. Then all three calmed down. And Lyssa finished with a big grin. ‘And that’s when her wig came off in my hand and I fell down.’
I sighed. I didn’t know what I was going to do with these kids. They were ignoring orders from their parents, running wild on the ship, pulling people’s wigs off and all sorts of stuff. Standing up, I said, ‘You boys stay here. If either of you step out that door,’ I said, pointing at said door, ‘the next bed you see will be in one of Chief Heinrich’s holding cells.’ Turning to the girl, I said, ‘Lyssa, I’ll walk you to your mom’s cabin.’
With that, I left the suite, hoping I wasn’t going to have to break Jean’s cardinal rule and beat my son.
I didn’t have the heart to tell Esther Monte what her daughter had been up to. I just knocked on the door, said, ‘Somebody wants to see you,’ and ushered Lyssa in and shut the door behind her. Then headed back to the cabin. Halfway there I ran into Mike Tulia and his daughter Janna.
‘Jeez, Milt! They got away. With the help of a co-conspirator!’ he said, giving his daughter a dangerous look.
‘I found them,’ I said. ‘The boys are in the cabin for the rest of the cruise and Lyssa is with her mother.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m taking this one to her mother! Lucy’s the disciplinarian in the family.’ He looked down at Janna. ‘You’re in for it now, girl,’ he said.
Janna did not look happy.
‘Meet you at the bar in half an hour?’ I said to Mike.
‘No sweat. Make it fifteen,’ he said, and headed off towards their cabin.
Since I had the boys and Jean and I were separated, she had her phone on her, so I called, wondering where she was. She picked up on the third ring. ‘Umm?’ she said.
‘Where are you?’ I asked.
‘Having a massage at the spa. After this I’m having a facial.’
‘I didn’t win it for you at bingo, so now I’m paying for it?’
‘Exactly!’ she said with a laugh.
‘OK. That’s good. I’ve still got some business to take care of. The boys snuck out of the pavilion again, but I found them and they’re currently under house arrest.’
I could tell by her voice that she’d shaken off the masseuse and was half sat up. ‘Are they OK? Who’s watching them?’
‘They’re fine, and no babysitter this time. I told them if I caught them out again, I’d have Chief Heinrich put them in his holding cells until we got to Galveston.’
‘God, you’re a mean man,’ she said, her voice – and presumably her body – calming down.
‘Enjoy yourself,’ I said and hung up. Now I had to deal with Mike, and it wasn’t going to be fun.
I made it to the bar and ordered a light beer. My jeans were getting a little tight; I figured it was from the regular beers I’d been drinking aboard ship. It couldn’t have anything to do with my dining-room antics – the food was free; therefore, no calories.
Mike joined me in less than the allotted fifteen minutes. ‘Jeez, these kids! I don’t know what to do with the little shits!’ he said.
‘I told mine that one more incident and I was having Heinrich put them in a holding cell,’ I said.
Mike shook his head. ‘One of the girls would just find a way to break them out.’
I laughed, then sobered. ‘Listen, Mike,’ I said. ‘I heard something I need to confirm with you.’
‘What’s that?’ he asked, being handed a full-bodied bottle of Corona with a lime wedge on top.
‘I heard it through the grapevine that you and Crystal spent some alone time together.’
Mike choked on his Corona. ‘Shit. That’s no grapevine, that’s Esther, right?’
‘Yeah. She mentioned seeing the two of you together.’
Mike sighed big time. ‘We weren’t “together” together, if you know what I mean. Crystal snuck back to the bar after Vern went to sleep, pulled me into that foyer to the comedy club and got frisky.’ He sighed again. ‘OK, I thought about it. She was coming on to me big time – God only knows why – and I thought about it – a lot. But then I kept thinking about what you said, you know?’
I frowned. ‘What did I say?’ I asked him.
‘You know, about losing everything for a piece of ass. And it’s true. Just because she’s got a nice outside doesn’t mean the sex would be any better than what I’ve already got. ’Cause what I’ve already got is pretty damn good. And just when I was thinking that, along comes Esther and makes it look like I only stopped because I got caught. And I swear, Milt, that’s not the case.’
‘So you haven’t been seeing her before this trip?’
The look on his face was total confusion. ‘Huh?’ he said. Then, ‘Shit, no! I didn’t even meet her until the morning of the cruise. Lucy and I stood up for them at the wedding. I knew she had to be a knockout, ’cause why else would Vern dump his wife of twenty years? I mean, he and Lois always seemed really tight.’ He shook his head. ‘See? Perfect example of your theory about losing everything over a piece of ass! He lost custody of his boys, he lost his house he’d paid millions for, and he lost his best friend – Lois. All for plastic boobs and a red dye job.’
I looked at Mike with new respect. ‘It’s not a dye job, it’s a wig,’ I said.
‘No shit?’ He laughed. ‘I wonder if Vern even knows that?’
I held up my bottle of Bud Light and said, ‘Here’s to our wives; may they always have us by the balls.’
He grinned and clinked his Corona to my Bud Lite. ‘Amen, brother,’ he said.