THE POLISHED BRONZE THREW back my reflection. The hair piled about my head was the same colour it had always been, a dark brown not quite black framing a face made radiant by joy. My skin was the same pale gold, my face the same oblong shape and a smile stretched my mouth, so wide I could not force it to stop. The eyes staring back at me were the same green but the expression within was the hopeful, dreamy, eager one I remembered.
The foolish grin wreathing my mouth grew wider, and I gave up attempting to contain it, allowing myself the fullness of the feeling. I had just come from Marcus. How could I not help but feel joy?
Over these last three weeks we had met often. Never did we meet at the same venue, both of us knowing complacency would breed scandal. Sometimes we met at brothels and put these rooms to good use. Sometimes we met in the markets, disguised and hidden amongst the bustle of crowded streets. Sometimes still, Marcus would come to my mother's domus and we would pretend we had no interest in the other beyond Aurelia.
In the brothel rooms after the pleasure was done, we would talk of plans, of the time when we would be far from all we knew. With fingers now used to the feel of his skin, I would trace a pattern on Marcus's chest and listen as he detailed all he had done to advance our flight, his breath gently stirring my hair. In his voice I would hear a smile, his eagerness and laughter, and joy always blossomed inside me, that I lay here with him in freedom and in peace.
This day, Marcus told of the last few steps to organise. It would be mere days, he had said, before we could leave.
Mere days.
“Domina.”
The hazy figure of a slave appeared beside my reflection, too far in the distance to be given any definition. I turned, if only to see her clear. “Yes?”
The slave, a young girl new to our domus, bowed her head. “Domina, Dominus Cato is here to see you.”
I could not have heard her right.
The girl frowned, such a reaction fair screaming her newly a slave. “Domina? Did you hear?”
Like my breath, my answer stuck in my throat. My former husband. Here. By all the gods, why was he here?
“Domina?”
He had not been here above three times in all the time I had been at my mother's domus. Those three times he had come to inspect Aurelia and each time I had been certain he was to take her but he never did. With his leave-taking, I fooled myself to believe he would never return and most days bore the truth of this belief. Most days. This, it appeared, would not be one of them.
Nerves set me to run the fabric of my tunic through my fingers. I had no cause for concern. This day would be like the others. He would want to inspect Aurelia, and he would again leave her with me. However, this day would not be like the others. This day, I would inform him in calm, measured tones she was visiting her friend Octavia and unable to attend him. I would bid him stay until her return. He would decline and the day would end as if he had never come. All would be well.
“Domina?”
“Silence!”
The girl blanched, her features white.
I knew my tone too harsh but I could have no care for that now. This day was just a day, like any other. “My mother?”
“Gone from the domus, domina.” Her voice quavered. “I know not when she will return.”
My mother would have been a buffer. My mother would have distracted him with clever words and politic speech. With her gone, I would have to face him alone. “Tell Dominus Cato I will join him shortly.”
Timid and quiet, the slave bowed and left. I could not quite bring myself to feel regret for my harsh treatment. Later, I would make amends. Now, my former husband awaited, and I knew not why.
Staying in this room would not bring answers. I thought of Marcus, how he had the courage to find me, to pursue me, to bring us to the edge of a new life. Surely I had the courage to do this one small thing? Steeling my will, I made myself brave and then I went to attend my former husband.
He awaited me in the study, examining the bust of my father. My step faltered at the sight of him and for a moment, fear consumed me. Almost I buckled under its weight. Quick as it appeared I forced it aside and made a pretence where I was calm and unaffected. “Gaius. Welcome.”
He did not turn from his contemplation of my father. “You kept me waiting.”
Ignoring his comment, I forced a placid smile to my face and hoped it did not waver. “It is a welcome surprise you visit, Gaius. Was there something you required?”
“Yes.” Finally he turned and I saw my former husband had grown old. Age liberally threaded the black of his curls with silver and scored lines deep into the flesh surrounding his mouth and eyes. “I require the child.”
His words were so abrupt, so stark, I almost did not make their meaning. When I did, my heart skipped. “Aurelia?”
A scowl drew the lines in his face deeper. “Yes. My daughter. She is required to do her duty to her family. I will give you enough time to help her pack.”
“Pack?” A roaring reverberated in my ears, the single word sounding over and again. Pack, pack…
My former husband made a noise of disgust. “By the gods, woman, you are just as useless as you always were. Gather my daughter and her belongings. She is coming with me. It is time she was of some use to this family.”
I must have heard him wrong. I must have. “Use? How can she be of use?”
Already fierce, his scowl grew more so, as did his disgust. “Are you simple? Her only value lies in her hand and one has offered for it. She will do well as the future wife of Magistrate Cominius.”
“Magistrate Cominius?” Aurelia could not marry Magistrate Cominius. He was old. Older even than my former husband. “Magistrate Cominius must be five times her age. You cannot do this to her.”
“I can do anything I please. Do not think because I am generous and have allowed the child to reside in this domus I will allow your opinion on the matter. She will do as I command, as will you. The girl will be trained and when she reaches her fourteenth year, she will be his.” His gaze raked me. “You ever were a disappointment as a wife, and so she will learn from others.”
By all the gods. He was serious. Nothing would sway him. Mute, I stared at him, and knew not what to do.
He strode toward me, took my arm in a bruising grip. “Gather your daughter, woman, and deliver her to me.”
Pain blossomed where he gripped me, breaking me from my numbness. “I cannot,” I managed. “I cannot. She is not here.”
“What do you mean?” I flinched at the thunderous volume of his words. “Where is she?”
“At—at a friend’s. I did not know you were to come. Apologies, but she—”
“You always were a waste of effort.” As if I contaminated him, he released me. “I have no time to linger here. Deliver her to my door by tomorrow. Do not make me wait again.” Without awaiting my reply, he left.
Frozen, I stood in the centre of the study. The room seemed cavernous of a sudden, silence echoing, growing, becoming unbearable.
Gods protect me. He meant to take Aurelia.
Abruptly, my legs ceased to work. I collapsed, and could not bring myself to rise.
My Aurelia. He meant to take her from me, make her marry. I knew it would happen but I held such hope for her. I had hoped she could marry, if not for love then at least affection. I thought her husband could be her contemporary, someone she would respect and charm and with whom she would retain her joy.
Marriage to Magistrate Cominius would bring none of what I hoped. My former husband had no concern for how his will would kill our daughter.
This could not happen.
I vaulted to my feet and rushed from the room, paying no mind to the servants and slaves who scurried from my path. Reaching my bedchamber, I shoved clothes and anything else I thought I might require into a sack. Next, I entered the nursery and packed for Aurelia also.
This would not happen. Aurelia would not be made to suffer marriage as I had, not when the means of removing her from it were at hand.
I left my mother’s domus. I did not look back.
***
AS I PUSHED THROUGH crowded streets, Aurelia stumbled behind, her thin arm in my too-tight grasp. I had collected her from the domus of her friend Octavia and now too many people in too small a place slowed us, such that my panic rose to unbearable levels. Each obstacle before us, each person crossing our path set us back moments when we had precious few to waste. Even as I thought this a particularly large man blocked our way and without slowing, I pushed him aside, ignoring his curses at my impolite action.
I had not the time for this. I had to find Marcus.
“Mama! Mama, slow. I cannot—Mama!” Aurelia twisted against my grip, attempting to free herself.
Shifting the sack containing the clothes I had hastily gathered to my other shoulder, I did not slow. “Haste, Aurelia. We must seek libertus.”
She pulled at me again. “But Mama, you are hurting my arm.”
Paying no head to her words, I only increased my step. I should not drag her so, I knew, but neither could I loosen my grip. Later, I would apologise. Later, she would know why we hurried. Now, we could only move forward. We had to reach Marcus. Soon.
Already we had searched for him at his stall in the market. The man he employed as vendor had been apologetic as he told me Marcus had not attended the stall all this day, and instead suggested Marcus may yet be at his home. Too frantic to be civil, I had nodded and made haste away. More precious moments wasted. If only I had first thought to seek Marcus at his home—but it could be too he was not there.
No. I could not think such things. I would find him and all would be well.
Aurelia complained again, loudly. I turned deaf ears to her ire. She had protested also when I had taken her from her friend's domus, though when I told her we were to visit libertus she had come eagerly enough. Only when I had not slowed to allow her to view the pastries at the baker's cart, only when her smaller legs could not keep up with mine did she lose her eagerness.
I could not slow. I had to reach Marcus.
Finally, I turned into a familiar courtyard and we were at the base of his home. Rushing up the stairs, I ignored yet again Aurelia’s complaints and stopped only when I stood before his door.
I knocked. He did not come.
Heart racing, skin tight, I knocked again. Still he did not come. Losing all pretence at calm, I pounded his door with frantic strikes, over and over and over. By all the gods, he had to be at home. Please, please, he had to be home, he had to. Please.
The wooden door wrenched open and Marcus stood in its entrance, his scowl quickly smoothing when he saw who greeted him. “Domina. Domina Aurelia.” His brows drew together. “What do you here?”
I pushed past him and dragged Aurelia with me. “Aurelia. Go into the bedchamber and play with your toys. Do not come out no matter what you hear.”
A ferocious frown screwed her features. “But Mama—”
“Go!”
Sullen she obeyed, though from Marcus's chamber came the stamp of small feet as well as overly loud sighs. I could not afford to pay her ire mind and so I did not, instead dumping the burden I carried upon the table.
Marcus stood through this and made no comment.
Going to the one window of his home, I closed the shutters, using their cover to examine his courtyard, my skin feeling as if it would twitch off my flesh.
Finally, Marcus spoke. “Lucia, I am glad you are here, though why have—”
“Marcus, do you expect any visitors? Will any come here?” Unable to stand still, I strode from his window to his door.
“No one has come but you. Lucia—”
“Good. That is good.” The door appeared stout enough. Was it stout enough? “Can this be barred?”
Of a sudden he was before me, taking my wrists in his hands. “Lucia, you—”
I pulled from his grip. The window beckoned me. The courtyard. What happened in the courtyard? “I do not believe us followed. I cannot tell, I do not know your neighbours, is aught different?”
“Lucia.” Again he was before me, baring my path and grabbing me by the shoulders. This time I could not shake loose. “Lucia, please. Calm.”
“But your neighbours, Marcus. Will they know? Have they seen?”
“I know not, Lucia. I only—Lucia, you have to calm. Please. I cannot…Lucia, please, calm.”
Finally, the urgency of his words penetrated. The haze panic brought cleared and I saw him, saw fear had turned his features harsh.
I sagged. “Marcus. By the gods, Marcus.” And then I broke.
Great sobs tore through me, burning my chest. Strong arms wrapped around me and I buried myself in his warm, hard chest, knowing Marcus held me tight, kept me safe. He whispered words of comfort into my hair as his gentle hands stroked my back. Eventually, I quietened.
“Lucia.” I looked up. Worry cut into Marcus's features, drawing deep lines upon his face. “What is wrong?”
Gathering myself, I pushed from him and wrapped my arms around my stomach. I needed to be strong again, and I could not do so in his arms. “Gaius came to my mother's domus today.”
“Did he.” The flat tone of Marcus's voice spoke his opinion of my former husband. “What did he want?”
“Aurelia.” My voice broke on her name.
“What?” Shock rid Marcus of his disdain, his eyes wide with it.
I wrapped my arms about myself tighter. “He wanted Aurelia. He wants her to wed, Marcus, to a man five times her age. He wants to take her and give her to Magistrate Cominius and I cannot— I do not—” Rage at my former husband boiled inside me. “I cannot allow it, Marcus.”
“We will not allow it.” His gaze flicked to his chamber.
My gaze followed his to his chamber and inside, my daughter. “She does not know. I could not think of how to tell her.” Horror filled me as I realised I had not been subtle. “Marcus, do you…did she hear me? I only want to protect her. I was not quiet, and she—”
“Do not worry, Lucia. Do not.” Marcus strode to me, cupped my cheek. “She is your daughter, and even if she heard, we will explain it to her. Together.”
I looked at this man, this man I had loved for so long, and emotion overwhelmed me. “I love you.”
“I love you.” His thumb rubbed my cheek. “Lucia.”
Eyes closed, I allowed the feel of his skin against mine to lull me. “Yes?”
“Why would your former husband do this?”
The words hung between us. Tension struck me and, opening my eyes, I removed his hand from my cheek. “He wants an alliance, Marcus. For what other reason is there?”
His hand dropped to his side. “An alliance, certain, but it makes no sense. He has left her with you. Why take her now?”
“It does not matter why!” The loudness of my words reverberated through the room. Marcus did not react to my volume, however Aurelia must not hear. Lowering my voice, I continued. “I cannot let it happen. Not to her. You have no notion of how it was, Marcus, married to a man I could not care for, who had no care for me. I will not allow it to happen to my daughter.”
“And you are correct to do so. I only question why he of a sudden views her as a pawn—”
“She is not a pawn!” Swallowing, I attempted to rein in my anger. Marcus did not deserve my rage. “My former husband may think her such but she is not. Neither of my children are, and yet I know that is how he views them. He made my son attend weapon training at less than two years of age, Marcus. He could barely hold the practice sword and yet Gaius threatened to beat him if he did not learn his drills. The gods only know what he is subjected to now.”
I wiped furiously at the moisture on my cheek. “This is how he treats his children, using them without any care for their thoughts or emotions. He did it to me and I…I cannot allow this to happen, Marcus. It is too late for my son but I can—I will—protect her.”
“I know.” Taking me his arms, he held me tight. “Lucia, I know.”
Balling the fabric of his tunic in my fist, I refused to allow the tears burning my eyes to fall. I had cried enough. “She is not a pawn.”
“I know. Hush.”
“He has taken one child from me, Marcus. I will not let him take another.”
“He will not. I swear it. I will not—”
“Mama?”
We turned. Aurelia stood holding aside the cloth covering Marcus's bedchamber entrance, appearing too small in the doorway. How could Gaius think to wed her to a man five times her age? How?
Aurelia's fingers worried the cloth. “Mama?”
Pushing from Marcus, I wiped at my cheeks. “Aurelia—”
In a flurry, she rushed across the room to cling to me, desperate. “Mama, I do not want to go with Father. I want to stay with you. Do not make me go, Mama.” Burying her face in my stomach, her hands clutched at me. “Do not make me go.”
“Aurelia. Oh my dearest girl, hush. All will be well.” I smoothed her hair, brushed a kiss against the strands. “All will be well.”
She buried into me further and I ignored the pain as her hands clutched harder. Holding her to me, I looked to Marcus. “We have to leave.”
Distress drew his features as he looked at Aurelia. “I know.”
My arms tightened around my daughter. “Now, Marcus.”
“I know.” Coming forward, he cupped his hand against Aurelia's head and cradled my cheek with the other. “Most is in place and the rest will be in a few hours. Will you—will both of you—be ready?”
“Yes.” Taking breath deep, I held my shaking daughter and looked to the man I loved, the man who would risk all for me. “We will.”