| |
Waking up wasn’t an easy process. The older I got, the deeper I dreamt, and the harder it was to extricate myself from a lucid dream. The best way, of course, was to wait until I woke up naturally, but I didn’t want to chance a return visit from my new frenemy. The second way to wake up lay somewhere between a pinch and a leap. Literally.
I closed my eyes and shook my arms out. When I looked forward, I found a diving board. If I looked down, I’d see a pool, but I hated heights. Even in the dream world, where I probably could fly if I wanted to, the view would make me revisit whatever I’d eaten last—so no looking down, just a leap of faith.
I walked to the end of the board, toes curled at the edge, and the board bounced gently beneath me. “Just a dream. Gotta wake up.” I repeated my mantra a couple more times between long exhalations. Now or never, right? I pulled down my blue-tinted goggles—I needed details to make insanity like this work—and bounced the board hard.
Up into the air I rose, and as gravity took over and I stretched out, a human line against the sky, a sense of peace washed over me. In this moment, nothing existed but me and my magick—no one judged me, no one wanted anything. Fifteen seconds of borrowed peace of mind. Nice.
That fear of heights? As the water approached, I anticipated the connection: cool, refreshing surface break to wake up more alert than if I’d downed an espresso. Fingertips touched and....
...a sharp inhalation as I sat straight up on my couch, eyes fluttering wide. I found a blanket in my lap that inspired an ‘awww’ moment. Then the guilt set in. Yeah, if I believed in Hell, I’d be driving the bus for that stupid moment with Jareth.
“Babe?” Jacob walked out of the kitchen holding two steaming cups of tea and an ereader tucked under his arm. A look of concern crossed his beautiful blue eyes beneath a wave of dark brown hair. “You okay?”
“Just a bad dream,” I lied without blinking an eye. Not a chance would I divulge that dirty little secret—not a chance in hell. I took a proffered cup and inhaled slowly. He’d made hot chai, my penultimate favorite. I took a ginger sip and realized there was no sun coming through the windows’ edges. “What time is it?”
“Eight. Lucy called me, said she was babysitting your sister and asked me to come over and check in on you, since I was back in town.”
I smiled despite my dour mood. Gods, I loved this man.
Aside from being an awesome boyfriend, tall enough to tuck me under his arm, he served as the high priest of the Weeping Willow coven, taking over after we’d decimated their leadership last year. If that wasn’t enough, Jacob also practiced law. Recent events had changed up his schedule, keeping him out of the courtroom and on the road lecturing. He said he liked the change of pace, but his association with me and being outed from the broom closet had caused him to lose a little credibility and, sadly, clients. So much for Wiccans getting a better rap.
I’d tried to push the issue, but he’d asked me to let it go. I sucked at letting things go, but for him, I was trying. Another pang of guilt hit me, and I drowned it in a sip of chai.
He leaned toward me until our heads touched. “She told me about Daniel.”
“Yeah, that was nasty.”
Jacob kissed my forehead. “Want to talk about it?”
“No, I really don’t. Not that I don’t think you can be objective about the whole mess, but I’ve talked it to death today with Lucy. I need a break.”
“Want to talk about anything else?”
“Lucy tell you about Sera?”
He nodded. “Yeah, that’s nuts. I was never a fan of Edward, but to kidnap Esther...? You networking your help?”
“Mike’s on board. Not thrilled about keeping it from Ethan, but that might be impossible if this intersects with my case.” I snuggled against him. “Have you ever heard of nagas?”
Jacob wrapped an arm around me. “Like the snake guys?”
“Yeah, just like them. Half man, half scaly creature feature.”
“Sure, I’ve read about them, even run into them in a tabletop or two, but real nagas, Zo?”
I shrugged against him. “Every myth has a grain of truth, I guess.”
I told him about the vision, including the creepy looking-at-me thing, since he was clairvoyant, too. One reason our relationship worked was our similarities in the gifted department—two weird little birds of a feather. Even now, pressed against him and as tired as I was, I had no need for shields, because he knew how to keep his own energy from overwhelming me. Loved that guy.
“He could see you?”
“I know, right? So incredibly... well, not normal. Not for me.”
He shook his head. “Not for me either. It’s kind of like watching a home movie for me.”
“Me, too, usually. I can look at things, pick them up even, but interact with the people? Never in my life.” I put my teacup on the coffee table. “I wonder if it’s a naga thing? Like something they do, mystical creature and whatnot.” I yawned, mouth wide, arms stretching outward, and slapped both hands over my mouth. “Oh, gods, that’s so embarrassing and so rude! Sorry.”
Jacob chuckled. “You’re adorable. Let’s get you into bed.”
No lie, a significant part of me missed Daniel, but as I lay there in my bed with Jacob spooned behind me, one arm draped across my stomach, that sadness and those jumbled feelings went away. Not to say that Jacob and I didn’t have a whole other set of issues, but honestly, we had a lot less stress and a lot more happy moments.
“Sweet dreams,” he whispered before kissing my bare shoulder. “Good night. I love you.”
I laced my fingers between his and squeezed. “Good night. I love you, too.”
He moved a little, last minute adjustments, and then he went quiet. No ulterior motives, even though he knew I would say yes to his overtures in an instant. No, Jacob was content to just... be, and more than anything after the last twenty-four hours, that was exactly what I needed.
His breathing steadied and slowed until a quiet snore rumbled behind me. Probably jetlag, since his last flight had been to somewhere in Arizona. “Kind of like time traveling,” he’d joked once. “Good thing my cell phone can keep up.”
I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer. “Mother, Goddess, Crone, watch me as I sleep. May I find rest within Your embrace that I may awaken refreshed and ready for the new day. So mote it be.”
It wasn’t much of a prayer, but it put my needs out into the ‘Verse, and while I was ever hopeful that my prayers would be heeded by the great Powers That Be, one of the parts I loved about Wicca was the independence. It was my life, and I could make it what I wanted. Oh, I could ask for help, like I just did, but the hardest part—the elbow grease—I alone had to provide. Sometimes that meant working on me as a person, sometimes it meant letting the extraneous stuff go, and sometimes, just sometimes, it meant taking a pause and enjoying the small joys I already had.
I drifted off to sleep in the cocoon of my lover’s arms with a smile. It’s the little things.
