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“Best wishes to you and your groom,” Jude said, bending before her, his expression one of joy. “You are to marry the best friend I’ve known.”
“I believe that,” she said, sitting beside Chloe in the settee.
Jude paced before them. “He will be gone no more than two weeks’ time, will you be married as soon as he returns or do you wish to wait for your parents to approve the match?”
“My parents,” she whispered and stared into Chloe’s face. “I hadn’t even considered them...” The discomfort she felt had her standing and going to the window and staring out at the mist shrouded evening. Frederick had been gone less than a day and the longing for him had her forgetting her duties. But did she need to consider them? She faced Jude for the answer.
“What would you do? I have always tried to be a dutiful girl but it seems impractical to wait for their approval when...”
“When?” Chloe asked, a smile crossing her lips.
“When I don’t want to!” She laughed. “I want to be married as soon as heavenly possible.”
Jude pulled her into an embrace. “Then I say, write to them and tell them and allow that to be their notice. I am more than certain they will readily welcome Frederick into the fold. What fool wouldn’t?”
Chloe joined in the embrace, her warm body pressed against Martha’s back. The joy that welled up inside her had her laughing. “I’m getting married sooner rather than later. I’m so happy. Thank you for your silly games, cousins.”
“I could think of no one else good enough for you...or Frederick.” Jude too laughed
“Now,” Chloe inserted. “Let us go about planning for your wedding. For as soon as he returns, we will officially make him family.”
***
“HE’S SIX DAYS OVERDUE. You don’t think harm has come to him, do you?” Martha patrolled the length of the parlor, back and forth. Back and forth.
“Sea travel is hardly ever on schedule.” Chloe looked up from her needlepoint. “Jude and I arrived nearly a week later than scheduled on our journey from England and we had no business plans as pressing as Frederick’s.”
She nodded and continued her march. The first two weeks were torturous enough, but letters came and wedding plans were made. And beyond that, she could thank God for little Jack’s inquisitive mind, for May’s incessant chatter and Chloe’s constant companionship to keep her occupied. But now, with no word and no end to his absence in sight, doubt crept into her brain and lay oppressively heavy upon her thoughts.
Her senses had become aware of every creak of the floorboards, and every shift in the wind. With each sound, she prayed it was her Frederick, come back to her. And time and time again, she was disappointed.
“Are you certain I can’t interest you in breakfast,” Chloe asked as she rose and started for the parlor door. Martha followed and the pair travelled down the small hallway toward the dining room.
“No, I’m really not hungry for the knots in my stomach. I think I’m going to try to gather some wildflowers today. There are only a few left and I’m determined to have a fresh bouquet everyday till he comes home. For that very day I hope is the day he and I will marry.”
A bride... she was on the verge of becoming not only a bride but a wife! A wife to the most wondrous of men!
“I’ll have Nancy press your pale blue gown so we’ll have it at the ready.”
“Thank you.”
“And I’ll have Maggie keep some breakfast in the oven for you. It’s a bit chilly this morning and you’re likely to return famished.”
Martha left Chloe in the doorway, the aroma of warm bread and strong tea tickling her nose. “I won’t be long and if he should return while I am out, send him toward the creek.”
“The creek? That is a very long little stream...”
Martha couldn’t keep from smiling. “Oh, he’ll know the spot I’m speaking of.”
She placed a quick kiss on Chloe’s cheek and with her excitement rising she fastened her cloak and rushed out into the crisp autumn morning.
The air was cool, not a drop of humidity to cling to her skin. Wind whipped at her cheeks and she pulled her hood up over her head. Yet despite its reprieve from the bluster, she loathed how cut off from her surroundings she felt. Her view of the world was restricted by the garment to less than half. “Chloe is right,” she lamented. “It is cold.”
She trudged along, her boots keeping her feet from getting wet but not protecting her skirts from the damp, earthen path.
Birds sang and as she made her way toward a thicket her troubles eased. She had found what she was looking for. A small cluster of bright yellow flowers bowed in the wind just waiting for her to make them into a bridal bouquet. Carefully, she reached for the stems, trying her utmost to avoid the sharp thorns of a long dead wild rose.
She leaned in only to hear the snapping of a twig on the path behind her. Had Chloe followed? But no, she would have made herself known. Anyone she knew would have!
Startled, her heart thrumming in her chest, she turned. The pale sun blinded as she gazed at the outline of a stranger, so close to her she could not believe that she hadn’t at the very least sensed his presence.
“What do you want?” she asked stepping back into the brush, the weeds tugging at her cloak.
“Don’t you recognize me?”
The voice. Yes, she’d heard that voice before but not for many, many months. And but a short time ago she would have welcomed his interest, but not now.
“Lord Sexton.” She lowered her chin and dipped her knee.
“No formalities, my sweet,” he said, his words delivered on a tremor. “I have come such a long way to see you. I would love nothing more than to hold you in my arms.”
“No,” she replied sternly. “You can’t be here.”
“But I am.”
She lifted her hand to block the sun and sharpen her view of the man that had betrayed her. Still the same handsome face. Still the same large green eyes. Still the same blond, unruly, boyish curls sticking out from beneath the brim of his tall, dark hat.
“Why?”
He offered his hand and she stared at it as if it belonged to a long dead spirit.
“You will not allow me to touch the sweet hand that once stroked my forehead when I was down with fever?”
“Please, I need to know why you’ve come.”
His thin lips dipped into a stern frown. She remembered that look of displeasure for she had seen it often enough. “Are you not glad that I did?”
“My Lord, under the circumstances, I don’t understand—.”
“Do you not notice the darkness of my clothes? The solemnity upon my countenance?”
She had not and she longed to tell him so, yet she stood before him, finally looking upon him as he was. A tall, slender man with dark rimmed eyes dressed in black. He had aged considerably in the months since her shameful departure.
“The children are well?” she blurted out. “Please tell me they are.”
“They are healthy,” he replied.
“From their letters, they seem content with their aunt.”
“She is a wonder but she is not their mother, nor is she you. They cry for you. They pray for your return. Lucy asked why you are not to become her mother.”
The thought of the girl in tears pierced her heart. “Don’t,” she whispered.
“She needs you, as do the boys. Martha, I need you.”
He took another step forward and she another step back.
Confusion flashed in his eyes. “Why do you run from me, little rabbit?”
The term was one he used on Lucy, not one he should address her with. Her ire flared. “I don’t run from you. I am simply confused as to what is happening.”
He tilted his head and gazed upon her with considerable interest. “I would have never believed that you could have grown more beautiful, and yet you have.”
The words caressed her ears and she shivered. He thought her beautiful? Why had he never said so before? “Tell me why you are in mourning.”
“Father,” he replied. “He was in an accident.” Samuel clenched his jaw, his eyes forward as he gazed off at the distance.
“My deepest condolences, Samuel.” Her compassion overtook her dismay and she set her hand upon his arm.
He closed his eyes and set his gloved fingers over hers. “I have missed you, my darling Martha.”
She tried to pull away but he held tight to her fingers. “I still don’t understand why you’ve come to Virginia.”
Firmly holding her hand he turned and fully faced her. “Do you really not know?”
He moved closer and despite her desire to step away, she had nowhere to go. The thicket poked at her, the thorns grabbed her cloak and the weeds seemed to coil about her ankles.
“I really don’t.” But it was a lie. Judging by the way his gaze bored into hers, she knew. She had seen the passion in Frederick’s gaze and Samuel’s rivaled it.
“Come now, sweet, you were never naïve. I want you back, as my wife, as mother to the children I have and to the children we’ll make together.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
“Samuel you can’t expect me to uproot my life just because you’re here.”
“I know I hurt you. I’m so very sorry for that. But your absence made me realize how I hated being controlled. I was going to tell Father as much.”
“The time for that is over. It’s all right. I bear you no ill will.”
“No it’s not. He cost me precious time with you, caused damage to my children with your forced exile. And yet in the very short time you’ve been away, I grew up enough to know that I wasn’t going to let him, or anyone keep me from you or you from my children. The children who need and love you so very much. As much as their mother, I dare say.”
The thought of the children the day she left Juniper Grove filled her mind. Their tears and anguish had been palpable. Their cries as she left the house echoed against the marble floors and left her ears ringing.
She shook her head as if the action would free her of the recollection. Finally, she managed to tug loose and through lips that trembled with emotion she declared, “I’m afraid, Lord Sexton, you are too late. I am engaged to another and I intend on marrying him the first opportunity I get.”
His features darkened and her worries increased. She’d seen him annoyed before, even angry but this was different. This was an actual change in his entire persona beyond the norm.
“Please, let us go into the house. I’m certain Lady Arden would love to see you again. You remember her don’t you? I believe you two were acquaintances before she left England?”
“Of course I know her but I’m not here to revisit the ton. I’m here to bring you home with me. It matters little if you’re engaged to someone else. As long as you’re not his wife, what difference does it make?”
“Honestly, Lord Sexton, it makes a lot of difference to me.”
He reached up and touched her cheek, his sudden movement causing her to shudder with surprise. “It wasn’t so long ago you were going to be my wife.”
“I realize that. More than anyone I realize that. But that seems like a lifetime ago. I have moved forward and found happiness. Would you strip that from me? Really?”
His eyes narrowed as he continued with his unnerving stare. “Would you deny me the opportunity to win you back? I have fought for you, Martha Arden. I love you as no other man.”
Without warning, she pulled away, fighting for her freedom against his stance and the weeds and brambles that tugged at her. “Stop it. I have made a plan for my life and you cannot come here and expect me to change it.” Thankfully, he allowed her to pass.
“Then allow me the opportunity to convince you of my sincerity.” He chased after her, marching at her side with an ease that she envied for did her cumbersome boots and mud heavy hems not deter her from a rapid escape?
“I realize you’re sincere, Lord Sexton, the very fact that you traveled here to reclaim me is proof of that. But I am in love with another. A man of honor who cares little what the world thinks of my situation. Who wants me for me.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled her to a halt. “I wanted you for you too. It is not my fault that my father made it impossible for me to have you and his respect.”
“And that is a problem, but thankfully one that I no longer have to worry over. I will marry the baron.”
“A lowly baron? I’m a duke now. Does that matter so little to you?”
She let out an ironic laugh. “It means nothing. He could be a farmer or a farmhand and I’d marry him for he values me.” She shrugged free from his touch. “Now please, go home to your children. Be the father to them you wished you had.”
With the house in sight, she hurried forward.
“Please Martha, consider my offer of marriage to be an honest and true one. I promise to never hurt you again. Please just allow me the chance to prove myself to you. I want to be your family. I want to make you my world. I want you back. My children and I are miserable without you.”
Making it to the house, she rushed indoors to find May standing there, her hands twisting in the linen of her apron.
“Are you all right, my lady? I saw the horse tethered to the post...”
“I am well,” she returned, hoping to ease the worry that creased the maid’s young face. She handed May the small handful of flowers and started toward the parlor. “You haven’t received any word from Lord Arden or the baron have you?”
“No my lady, I’m sorry. No word.”
Of course she hadn’t expected word. But she needed Frederick to return. For in the course of a quarter of an hour her life had been turned upside down.
***
“WHAT DO YOU WANT TO do?” Chloe asked, wrapping a blanket about her shoulders. “You love Frederick, don’t you?”
Tears sped from her eyes and her heart ached, ached with each and every beat. “I do. I wish this day had never happened.”
“Are you tempted?”
“No.” But the truth was, she loved his children and up until a few months ago the idea of him. “But the children.”
“And they are fine living with their aunt. It is not your responsibility to raise another woman’s children. Your duty is to you. You gave your promise to Frederick.”
“I know, and I long to be with him, but Samuel has lost so much and I have never seen him more earnest.”
Chloe set her hands upon her hips and glowered at her. If the guilt that she perpetuated on an adult was any indication, her child was doomed to always know when his mother was not pleased. “His heart cannot withstand another disappointment.”
Old dreams collided with new. The idea of living at Juniper Grove with Samuel and the children arose as if from the grave. She closed her eyes, imagining the ornate parlor filled with laughter. Lewis’ grin as he painted, Lucy’s tea party with her doll, and Luke with his wooden blocks all cozy and warm by the fireplace. She looked to Chloe. “The children need me.”
“What of the father? Do you love him? I know you once did.”
“I did...but the feeling is nothing compared to the fire that burns inside me for the baron.”
Chloe’s gaze narrowed, her usually pleasant face contorting into a mask of pure aggravation. “Then marry the baron for he needs you too. If you ask him, he will let you go, just as he did me. But it will be a blow to him that I firmly believe he will not recover from.”
“But he is a man and these are children.”
Chloe rose and paced before her, her arms across her middle, the posture exaggerating the growing life within her. “And what of my child? Do you think he will not need his you? And Jack, he has a love for learning because of the time you spend with him. You are equally needed here. Stay.”
It would be so easy to take her advice but something down deep refused to allow her to completely decide. “I have to think.” Rising, she went to the window. Gazing at the circular drive below, she saw that Samuel’s horse remained tethered to the post. He stood at the animal’s side, staring at the house. His full attention focused upon her when she came into view in the window.
He removed his hat and bowed.
“I can’t even go for a walk,” she lamented before moving back into the sanctuary of the shadows.
“Before you make any decisions, speak to Frederick. He will, I am certain, be able to allay your fears and help you come to the correct conclusion.”
“There is no correct conclusion,” Martha nearly shouted. “There is only my happiness or the happiness of the children.”
Chloe came to her and grabbed at her upper arm, the woman’s fingers digging into the flesh. “And Frederick’s happiness.”
“You are about to be a mother, would you not forgo your feelings for that of your child?”
“That’s just it!” she shouted back. “They are not your children. They are a pawn in that black hearts game. Can you not see it? Are you so good and kind that you cannot recognize the treachery of others?”
“I am not blind. I simply love the Sexton children.” She yanked free. “And I know they are not mine but I love them with a mother’s heart.”
“You yourself have mentioned many times they appear happy in their current circumstance. It is true too, that very soon both the boys will be sent away to school.”
Her hands twisted in the woolen fabric of her blanket. “That will leave poor Lucy alone.”
“Not alone, but with the woman closest in the world to her mother... her mother’s sister. Not a kind governess but flesh and blood.”
The lump that filled her throat threatened to choke her, for what Chloe said made sense. And it was painful for her to admit. “You’re right. She doesn’t belong to me. None of them do.”
Then marry Frederick. Become a mother to his children. Love him, for there is no one more deserving of you than he.”
“And I do love him.”
Chloe wrapped her arms around her and she leaned into the warmth of her embrace. “Now rest. Frederick will be home soon and all this will become a distant memory.”